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Kenny tells Toon fans what they think about Andy Carroll

Posted on April 29th, 2011 | 25 Comments |

Kenny Dalglish, psychiatric nurse.
Sigmund Dalglish
Kenny Dalglish turns to psychiatry to tell Newcastle United fans what they think about Andy Carroll.

Apparently there’s a royal wedding today. When I heard about it I assumed Cheryl Tweedy was getting hitched again but apparently it’s to do with a couple called Kate and Will. Anyway, it seems my invite was lost in the post so I thought I’d write an article on here instead.

Kenny ‘Sourpuss’ Dalglish has been telling us Toon supporters what we think of Andy Carroll ahead of Sunday’s game, so we’d better jolly well listen.

Kenny instructs us thusly:

They [that’s us] will do whatever they want, but it won’t take away from what he has done for their football club and it won’t take away what the football club meant to Andy.

It is a compliment really, in a strange way, if you do get abuse because it means you must have been important to them.

So any boos for Andy Carroll will actually be translated as “we love you” according to Kenny. I wonder from which Internet site Kenny got his degree in psychiatry.

Kenny goes on:

I’m sure when Newcastle signed Alan Shearer they didn’t give too much consideration to Blackburn Rovers fans but that’s football. What goes around comes around. I don’t know what they will do on Sunday but if, as a player, you don’t get abuse off your old supporters then they can’t have been too disappointed that you left. I think the boy is expecting something.

So that’s us told, but he continues by saying Andy’s a ‘nice lad’.

I don’t think we have found out anything new about his game. Even if you go back to his first goal against Manchester City, he rattled in one like that against us earlier in the season. We knew what we were getting before Andy came in. What you don’t know to the same extent is the personality and if there is one thing that has pleasantly surprised us it is the boy’s personality. He is a real down-to-earth boy who sometimes doesn’t realise he is a footballer but that is because he is naive and has his feet firmly fixed on the ground. That is not a criticism. That is a huge compliment to him.

Interesting that he doesn’t realise he’s a footballer. Maybe he thinks he’s a turnip.

Of course Carroll is stil just 50-50 to play depending upon his injury status but it shouldn’t matter to us either way. We have been inconsistent this season but on one of our good days I think we’re capable of taking points off Liverpool at Anfield, despite our dismal historic record at the ground. Like a lot of this season, much depends on which team turns up for us.

I think we have to try and get at them as quickly as possible because sitting back and trying to contain teams rarely seems to work for us.

Howay The Lads

NUFCBlog Author: Hugh de Payen I'm a baby-boomer of the punk rock persuasion, currently exiled in Somerset for crimes committed in a previous life where locals keep trying to poison me with something called 'scrumpy'. Hates sprouts, coat-hangers, Cilla Black, ornaments, Steven Seagull movies and 50 Cent (he's not worth 10). Hugh de Payen has written 634 articles on this blog.

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25 Responses

  1. Hopefully AC will become the biggest waste of £35m in the history of the modern game.
    Interesting quotes from Kenny I think I seen him on TV but understood nothing that came out of his mouth so thanks for the quotes : )

  2. ‘Interesting that he doesn’t realise he’s a footballer. Maybe he thinks he’s a turnip.’

    Failed attempt at humour

  3. “We have been inconsistent this season but on one of our good days I think we’re capable of taking points off Liverpool at Anfield, despite our dismal historic record at the ground. Like a lot of this season, much depends on which team turns up for us.”
    You guys do have a sense of humour!!!!!!!!!!

  4. Is that the ‘Dour scot’s’ attempt at trying to get into mind games?

    What a div!

    :)

    Maybe he thinks he’s a boxer?
    :)

  5. Hardly telling toon fans what they think is he? Just making the point that players don’t get jeered unless their departure resonates in some way with the fans of the former club. Dalglish was answering questions about the reception that Carroll would get from Newcastle fans and it’s difficult to see what else he should have said.

  6. Ouch. Sounds like some really sour grapes from the writer. We despise Torres as well, but it’s pointless picking on Ancelotti when he says something to the press about his own player.

    Really childish writing. “Interesting that he doesn’t realise he’s a footballer. Maybe he thinks he’s a turnip.” Embarrassing.

  7. Well said “Ace”. He’s not telling the ‘toon’ fans anything or what to think is he!?

    No doubt on Sunday they’ll all be at Anfield making out they’re something they’re not!…a big club!

  8. first off,f**k the so called royal family,go home and rule over your own people,who are the germans.no offence against anyone german,but they are your royal family.
    calling themselves windsor is a joke,their proper name is “saxe coburg gotha”.
    a known bunch of nazi’s get rid of the lot of them,i want to see this country a republic,run by the people for the people.a country where everyone is a citizen,and not someones subject.rant over.
    f**k off dogleash,what do your know about what we are thinking,stop trying to think for yourself kenny.you know nothing,so keep your mouth shut.

  9. Just been watching the royal wedding…

    I asked the missus what she thought of the ceremony and she said it was lovely, she said the bride looked gorgeous and radiant. She asked me what I thought and I said “aye, she’s altreet”. But all I was thinking was that I’d like to jizz all over her face.

    …Is it just me or what?

  10. semi says:
    April 29, 2011 at 8:42 am
    batty go back to school thats normal for a thick geordie can,t spell

    You should really look at your own use of grammar before commenting that someone else is “thick”. Examples include the lack of capitalization in Batty and Geordie, the lack of apostrophe’s in that’s and the coma used in place of an apostrophe for can’t. You also didn’t use a full stop at the end of the sentence.

  11. You dont have to worry about Kenny, he`s only there as a stopgap, Camolli is the power behind the throne and Kenny will be thrown under a bus when the Fenway group and Camolli find the right guy.
    This is a no nonsense group, who have competed successfully with the big money NY Yankees in baseball, their mantra is good management and being able to identify the right players and they intend to apply the same approach to football.
    Perhaps Ashley should pay attention ?

  12. Apparently no one in the dressing room understands a word he says, the same goes for fergie at Man u.
    Especially the foreign born players.
    Caught him a couple of times mumbling incoherent rubbish while being interviewed on the telly.
    You would have thought at this stage in life he would be able to use the English language in a semi coherant manner.

  13. Dont know what i would like more , that we do the scousers like we did at SJP or that Carroll plays and picks up a very very bad injury . Not because he left for Liverpool but because he spouted on about how he loved the club , would never leave and how proud he was to have the shirt , then fcuked off for the money first chance he got . How the jock tw@t could compare him going there to Shearer leaving Blackburn to come home is beyond belief , no disrespect to Blackburn after all they were champions but Newcastle United was always going to be Shearers first choice .

  14. Oh dear Lua Lua, your English lesson would’ve had more credance had your spelling beyond question. Write 100 lines of ‘I must use commas to break up sentences otherwise readers’ll lapse into a coma.

  15. all this bolocks from the man who sold ginola and brought in des hamilton as his replacemnt! what a twat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  16. chuck says:
    April 29, 2011 at 3:11 pm

    “Apparently no one in the dressing room understands a word he says, the same goes for fergie at Man u.”

    And Gordon Strachan, Chuck.

  17. wouldn’t gan that far clint lol,it’s the 21st century ffs,why do we need these families?.
    royal families are responsible for some of the worst attrocities comitted,in the history of mankind.
    do we have a collective stockholm syndrome,when it comes to these people?.
    it’s all a bit bizarre if you ask me,it’s the equivalent of putting a hillbilly family,from the states into a big house,then following their every move.
    you just wouldn’t do it,would you,then again we had the anna nicole smith show.

  18. Trojan,
    i think we’d have to gan that far mate, ask the french, probably the sanest thing that country ever did.
    :)

    We’re just subjects, subjected to a subjective view!

  19. Trojan,
    it’s f***ing ridiculous that they are so far out of the loop that they don’t realize ’til a day before, after the media mentions that they’ve invited fascists to the ball.
    :)

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