Nile Ranger: Gangster Extraordinaire

Ranger prepares to shoot

Ranger prepares to shoot

As a striker, young Nile Ranger hasn’t been the best at hitting the target so on that logic I think this is a story that has been blown way out of proportion. When he shoots, he often misses, gaining him the appropriately affectionate nickname of “Nil Ranger”.

Jokes aside, the above is a new picture leaked to the Sun who of course paint Nile Ranger as a hitman for the Wallsend Mafia.

NEWCASTLE United star Nile Ranger was quizzed by club officials yesterday after he posed “like a gangster” with a GUN.

Pardon me if this post is a little messy in places; it’s difficult to organise your thoughts when you’re in fits of laughter.

If you manage to read beyond the above quote without any kind of fluid pouring out of your nose, you’ll find out that it is in fact a replica firearm that was being carried about for whatever reason, presumably in public.

What’s missing from the article is that Nile was at his girlfriends house and they had a few friends over and one of the silly Southerners pulled out the replica gun and everybody decided that they wanted to hold the magical chrome plated object. Of course the gun came to Nile, whose girlfriend is aroused by men with guns and she took a picture.

The source told The Sun:

“Someone spotted this bulge in the waistband of one of the bloke’s trousers.

“He was a bit of a hardcase and pulled out this gun. It was passed around and Nile struck up a pose like a gangster and tried to look like a real tough guy.”

Please note the use of the wording of that last sentence. “Tried to look like.” I’d imagine the person who leaked this picture is:

1. Not a very good friend.
2. A Chelsea supporter.

A Newcastle United spokesperson had some words to say, though seemed to jump immediately on the ‘legal’ bandwagon:

“The club have spoken to Nile and can confirm that the item shown in the photograph is a replica firearm which is not an offence to own.

“Nile regrets posing for the photograph, which was taken by his girlfriend at home.”

Maybe I’m just being a little nonchalant about this whole thing but what harm is he doing? The photo was taken in private amongst supposed friends. I agree completely that this was a silly idea by Nile but there’s a huge difference between holding a live weapon with a magazine full of death and a none functional replica – there are people who have live rifles hanging in glass cases in their houses, after all.

Of course, the anti-gun bandwagon jumped straight at the lads throat. A Mother’s Against Violence campaigner had this to say:

“Footballers are an example to young boys. He probably thought this was a bit of fun, but guns tear people’s lives apart.”

Something about that irritates me. While I agree with the sentiment, the point still remains it’s not a real gun! How many young boys owned cap guns? When I was younger you could get quite realistic looking ones in the styles of revolvers, Glock’s and at one point had a rifle, designed to look as realistic as possible. What violence is Ranger causing by posing with something that’s actually less realistic than a cap gun?

What annoys me even more than that is quite simple, really. That quick statement seems to imply that every young boy who sees that photo (that The Sun happily paraded around), will say “Mam! I need one of these gun things like Nile Ranger!” and as a result accountability is not with the parents – it’s all the footballers fault!

If your child wants a gun for whatever reason, you’ve probably failed as a parent.

I can’t help but be reminded of the Parents Music Resource Center that took place in the 80s, claiming that music, particularly rock and pop, was a bad influence on children and was promptly slapped down by both Frank Zappa and Dee Snider. Same goes for the Columbine shootings, it couldn’t possibly have been that the parents were at fault, or that the teenagers had un-addressed mental problems, oh no! It was all Marilyn Manson’s fault. Of course!

Back on topic: is Ranger advocating violence? Not at all, he had a picture taken with a fake weapon.

Yes, the young lad has had a nasty past but he is not aiming (heh) to promote gun usage nor is he advocating people to follow the same path that he took in his younger life. Newcastle offered him a lifeline and he grabbed it with both hands.

We all know that Nile isn’t the brightest spark (least of all when he claimed Lovenkrands was Scottish) and he knows that this was a terrible idea but hindsight is always crystal clear. Let’s just hope he learns from this and shows the media what he’s made of on the pitch.

The media irritates me sometimes.

avatar NUFCBlog Author: Thump Some say his bones are black and white but that is yet to be medically proven. Currently writes for a few different publications and likes to assert his imaginary authority on nobody in particular. Beware: eats children. Thump has written 36 articles on this blog.

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64 Responses to “Nile Ranger: Gangster Extraordinaire”

  1. 1
    avatar Thump says:

    I should apologise for the mini-rant in advance. This was initially going to be tongue in cheek and then it started grating on me.

  2. 2
    avatar Phil K says:

    Talk about looking for excuses for an act of brain-dead stupidity !!!
    You should be a politically correct social worker, sunshine.
    No wonder dopes like Ranger never change, they’ve got idiots like you defending them every inch of the way.

  3. 3
    avatar ~ El Toro ~ says:

    Couldn’t agree more. I’m sure footballers do dumb things when they are in the comfort of their/or friends’ home.

    I tell you one thing though. Nile needs to learn that fame comes with a price. Those “mates” that he’s got will sell him down the river in the blink of an eye. He needs to keep football and socialising separate.

    Leave your friends in London and this doesn’t happen again. Simple.

  4. 4
    avatar ~ El Toro ~ says:

    “Talk about looking for excuses for an act of brain-dead stupidity !!!
    You should be a politically correct social worker, sunshine.
    No wonder dopes like Ranger never change, they’ve got idiots like you defending them every inch of the way.”

    So because he has posed with a toy gun he is still a criminal?!

    That’s the type of sensationalist rubbish only idiots subscribe too. Get a brain of your own and stop relying on The Sun for lessons in life.

  5. 5
    avatar Phil K says:

    …er…can I just remind you of what he’s doing ? The look on his gormless mush says everything. He wasn’t blowing a raspberry, urinating down a back alley, he was swaggering with a GUN.
    They are desperately saying it was a replica.
    Was it ?
    It smacks of the club trying to take the heat off.
    This dope has been doing moronic things since he arrived, and taking the pee out of the club, and he hasn’t changed one bit.
    He hasn’t contributed much either for the trouble he’s caused.
    Ive known mothers and fathers, and girlfriends and boyfriends do similar to what you’ve done for Ranger here to defend a son/daughter/boy/girlfriends ludicrous and indefensible indiscretions

  6. 6
    avatar Mothboy says:

    I have some, semi-cherished, photos of me ‘brandishing’ a mate’s AK47 (real, although single shot not semi) and video of me shooting said firearm as well as a series of extremely powerful ‘sniper’ rifles – all legally owned and all took place on private land. I come from a ‘broken’ home on a NE council estate – the Daily Mail would have a field day – but I am an experienced and able IT professional with no great desire to wreak havoc and murder upon anyone – guns don’t kill people, people kill people.

  7. 7
    avatar CLiNT FLiCK says:

    It’s the end of the world as we know!

  8. 8
    avatar Phil K says:

    >>So because he has posed with a toy gun he is still a criminal?!<<
    And you know this how ?
    The statement from the club.
    They are going to be playing this down. Isn't that bloody obvious ?

    Amusing you've gone from agreeing with me to taking his side.
    Nice one. Complete 180° turn.
    Impressive ! :D

  9. 9
    avatar ~ El Toro ~ says:

    “He wasn’t blowing a raspberry, urinating down a back alley, he was swaggering with a GUN.
    They are desperately saying it was a replica.
    Was it ?
    It smacks of the club trying to take the heat off.”

    I don’t think you realise how pathetic you sound. Best to stop now, me thinks.

  10. 10
    avatar ~ El Toro ~ says:

    I have NEVER agreed with you. I agreed with the article, but simply suggested Nile pick and choose his social moments and company more wisely.

  11. 11
    avatar Phil K says:

    >>guns don’t kill people, people kill people.<<
    No, people USE a gun to kill people. Guns were made TO kill people. That American NRA tripe.
    Being a person from the bottom rungs of the working class, I never had any wish to have anything to do with guns. Why the need, for God's sake ? Its like those dickheads with violent dogs.

  12. 12
    avatar CLiNT FLiCK says:

    I used to take a replica 4″ Colt Python on stage with me & tell the the crowd to dance.
    Just for a laugh mind.
    :)

  13. 13
    avatar Dan says:

    This is getting silly. Admittedly a stupid thing to do but (as mentioned) this was in the comfort of his own home End of story. I mean its not as if he actually shot one of his own team mates at the training ground with an actual weapon is it!!

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-12593207

  14. 14
    avatar Phil K says:

    “El Toro” – you’re aptly named mate.
    All Bull.

  15. 15
    avatar workyticket says:

    Awwww, bless him!

  16. 16
    avatar ~ El Toro ~ says:

    “you’re aptly named mate. All Bull.”

    Almost clever, that one…Almost.

    Seriously, get your blood pressure down and lay off the conspiracy theories.

    “The club are lying, he’s lying, THEY’RE ALL LYING!”

  17. 17
    avatar Phil K says:

    And young kids will look at this and think – what ?
    Many of you will be quick to have a go at that scouse pillock Rooney.
    He never something this stupid though.
    And – just how did this pic end up in the press do you think ?
    His mates ? Putting on Facebook ?
    The Sun didn’t pluck it out of thin air.

  18. 18
    avatar GeordieDan says:

    Just 3 words: What a muppet

  19. 19
    avatar ~ El Toro ~ says:

    “Many of you will be quick to have a go at that scouse pillock Rooney. He never something this stupid though.”

    So screaming expletives down the camera several times to millions of viewers isn’t as stupid as posing with what is alleged to be a replica gun in the privacy of your own home?

    Interesting logic you have there.

  20. 20
    avatar Phil K says:

    Don’t like the term “muppet” – overused by the wrong types. But Kermit WITHOUT the puppeteers has more brains than this fool, replica or real, indoors or out.
    The gesture is the same, no matter where.
    (Amazed people are defending him by saying THEY swagger with guns – absolutely gobsmacked)

  21. 21
    avatar z arfa says:

    I think many are ‘jumping the bullet’ here,,,,

  22. 22
    avatar Phil K says:

    Duh Bull – please put your brain in gear first, eh ?
    You believe the crap. You can’t fathom that damage limitation is whats done FIRST.
    Thats happened here.
    You believe otherwise. I couldn’t care less. Thats your look out.
    When they say the picture was actually forged by Niall Quinn to destable Newcastle’s reserves, and is actually Lenny Henry playing Othello….you’ll believe it all, no doubt.
    Your choice.

  23. 23
    avatar ~ El Toro ~ says:

    “replica or real, indoors or out.
    The gesture is the same, no matter where.”

    What gesture is that then? Is it the, “Yeah, I’m cool with a gun. I’m a ganster” gesture?

    If so, isn’t that what movies and video games alike promote all of the time?

  24. 24
    avatar Phil K says:

    z arfa.
    Could be true.
    He should be shot for such stupidity, eh ? :D

  25. 25
    avatar ~ El Toro ~ says:

    “You believe the crap. You can’t fathom that damage limitation is whats done FIRST. Thats happened here.”

    Again with the conspiracy theories. Jheez!

    No doubt you have bored many a fan today with your rants. Here’s a suggestion, button it. Nobody cares, my friend.

  26. 26
    avatar CLiNT FLiCK says:

    Past tense for me(used to swagger), KLF borrowed it for a vid & it never came back.
    Bloody popstars!
    Worse than footballers.
    :)
    :)

  27. 27
    avatar Phil K says:

    I’d love this to teach the silly BOY a lesson.
    But Pardew’s been trying to boot sense into him since he arrived.
    He’s got to grow up, none too bright or not. This stupidity can’t continue. He has to accept he’s in the public eye and has responsibilities. He has to cut the strings connecting him to the street yobs in London. It will help HIM no end.
    Its a fact Newcastle have had more problems with young Nile than the arch-thug Barton in the same length of time.
    Barton does seem to be trying to get it together. I wish Nile would do the same – for HIS sakes more than the team’s.

  28. 28
    avatar workyticket says:

    Phil K says:
    May 16, 2011 at 7:59 pm

    “Its a fact Newcastle have had more problems with young Nile than the arch-thug Barton in the same length of time.”

    Really? When did Rnager last miss a game through being detained at Her Majesty’s pleasure Phil?

  29. 29
    avatar Micky Toon says:

    Guns don’t kill people rappers do.

  30. 30
    avatar chuck says:

    You aught to make up your mind if you are trying to do a hatchet job on the kid or make excuses for him ?
    This is a bullshit story and you decide to get milage out of it !
    Shame on you !

  31. 31
    avatar Micky Toon says:

    Phil you seem to be holding young Nile in such high regard. Did he threaten to ‘pop a cap in yo ass’? ;-)

  32. 32
    avatar CLiNT FLiCK says:

    Micky,
    it would be ‘caps’ in that ‘gun’.
    :)

  33. 33
    avatar CLiNT FLiCK says:

    “Joey Barton passes spud gun to child”
    :)

  34. 34
    avatar chuck says:

    Pill K.

    Perhaps you may benefit from an anger management course ?

  35. 35

    The mistake Ranger made was trusting that his friends and/or girlfriend wouldn’t release that photo to the media.

  36. 36
    avatar CLiNT FLiCK says:

    That robbie keane gadj should be chastised for doing that bow & arrow celebration, not only is it crap, it also encourages archery in the youth.
    Good job he doesn’t score anymore then.
    ;)

  37. 37
    avatar workyticket says:

    Micky Toon says:
    May 16, 2011 at 8:20 pm

    “Did he threaten to ‘pop a cap in yo ass’?”

    My dentist did that recently.

  38. 38

    workyticket says:
    May 16, 2011 at 8:33 pm

    Micky Toon says:
    May 16, 2011 at 8:20 pm

    “Did he threaten to ‘pop a cap in yo ass’?”

    My dentist did that recently.

    ====

    So did Madame Whiplash at my regular appointment last week.

    It made my eyes water.

    Allegedly.

  39. 39
    avatar CLiNT FLiCK says:

    :)

  40. 40
    avatar chuck says:

    Can we just consign this rubbish into the Blog dustbin, it was a poor choice of articles to begin with, is divisive and the attempts to make it humerous aint working,
    let it go !

  41. 41
    avatar CLiNT FLiCK says:

    I think there was only one person taking any of this seriously mate.
    It’s just a daft lad.

  42. 42
    avatar nufcpete says:

    omg this has been blown out of proportion. i kno nile and he regrets this not becoz he admittedly looks like a twat but becoz he loves newcastle. hes trying to show hes turning his career round an he feels that ppl are w8n 4 him to muk up. trust me hes a gud lad with a bad past but hes trying every1 coks up and this was just sum1 with a toy gun.. omg kids see pictures of snow white livin with 7 dwarfs but it duznt mean they guna grow wantn to fcuk a midget . n btw phil k shut up u hipocrite acting as if u a fkn saint am sure ur shit dnt smell ov roses

  43. 43
    avatar CLiNT FLiCK says:

    nufcpete,
    don’t worry mate,
    i reckon most fans & most people know this in just a bit of daftness by a lad growing up.
    Hopefully, most have seen it as such & won’t be holding against Nile, who we think has a bright future in the Toon.
    If y’do know him, tell him to be careful in future, cos there are hacks out there that will stop at nothing to get a story to print.
    ;)

  44. 44
    avatar CLiNT FLiCK says:

    Gotta say,
    i was amazed to hear this on radio 4 news this morning.
    Didn’t think they went in for such trivial ‘stories’.
    I was wrong!

  45. 45
    avatar workyticket says:

    Neva had this kinda botha with Jackie Milburn like.

  46. 46
    avatar CLiNT FLiCK says:

    ‘Shack’ was probably a different proposition though, hey?

  47. 47
    avatar CLiNT FLiCK says:

    Anyhoo,
    canny game yesterday.
    Good to see a few bairns & squad players get a run out against a top team, away & come hyem with a decent result.

  48. 48
    avatar workyticket says:

    CLiNT FLiCK says:
    May 16, 2011 at 9:49 pm

    “‘Shack’ was probably a different proposition though, hey?”

    Len was a reet Gangsta man!

    They did used to say that Hughie Gallacher was like Al Capone when he was oot on the Toon (true).

  49. 49
    avatar CLiNT FLiCK says:

    Aye worky,
    this kinda ‘hijinx’ is nowt new, is it?
    Par for the course really.

    We live in a world of cameras now though.

  50. 50
    avatar robby bobson says:

    Hes just messing around in his own house with his mates….tough lesson to learn for him though.

    Its one of those things that noone sees until the papers published to moan about it they say its a bad example…well its obvioualy a jokey private photo which geta shown to everyone by the paper who says kids shouldnt see it!!!

    On the pitch ranger always runs his heart out

  51. 51
    avatar CLiNT FLiCK says:

    Exactly Robby,

    Cos the sun is goody two shoes, isn’t it?
    They set this shit up daily & try & tell us what we’re supposed to think/say/feel.

    Boycott murdoch’s rags!

    You know it makes sense!

  52. 52
    avatar workyticket says:

    I’ve just noticed that Nile looks like he’s cracking one out and he’s just getting to the ‘vinegar strokes’ in that photo.

  53. 53
    avatar CLiNT FLiCK says:

    worky,
    :)

    I think?

  54. 54
    avatar workyticket says:

    Therefore I am?

  55. 55
    avatar CLiNT FLiCK says:

    Descartes?

  56. 56
    avatar workyticket says:

    Either that or he’s getting a blowie of one of his ‘hos’.

  57. 57
    avatar CLiNT FLiCK says:

    Je pense, donc je suis!

  58. 58
    avatar workyticket says:

    CLiNT FLiCK says:
    May 16, 2011 at 10:42 pm

    “Descartes?”

    Aye Clint,

    Cogito ergo sum.

  59. 59
    avatar CLiNT FLiCK says:

    ;)

  60. 60
    avatar CLiNT FLiCK says:

    I went for the french, as that was his mother tongue like.

  61. 61
    avatar JP...from The Rock says:

    This photo won’t help his football image only his gangster one. Although when kids see really violent cartoons or guns in films isn’t the same or worse than what Ranger is doing here? The gun is fake and so are the ones in the movies so where’s the problem? And I too had a toy gun when I was a kid and loved it, but that didn’t make me want to buy one.

    It isn’t very smart of him to pose for the photo and he should be more careful about that in the future as the press will immediately use anything against him like in this case.

  62. 62
    avatar boater says:

    Sorry, what a bollox article. Ranger is paid shed loads of cash because he operates in the public eye.. just like Rooney. That means their behaviour will always be under scrutiny, that’s the deal.. you get to be a millionaire by 22 and all you have to do is not act like a total tool… not a bad one.

    The ‘anti-gun’ brigade? Are we in Texas? Don’t matter if it’s fake or not.

  63. 63
    avatar Thump says:

    simply suggested Nile pick and choose his social moments and company more wisely.

    Completely agree. Like I said, Nile isn’t the brightest spark but I’m sure he knows better than to actually pose with a real gun.

    Ranger is paid shed loads of cash because he operates in the public eye.. just like Rooney.

    No, he’s paid shed loads of cash because he has some ability on the football pitch. That’s the reason why Rooney gets his money, not because he can piss up against wheelie bins and shags hookers until he’s (literally) blue in the face.

    The ‘anti-gun’ brigade? Are we in Texas? Don’t matter if it’s fake or not.

    Because Texans are well known for their anti-gun mentality!

  64. 64
    avatar Jody Swem (facebook me gun haters) says:

    Ok all you scraggle headed, peace loving, brain washed, leftist hippies… Guns don’t kill people, stupid people kill people. Gun or not, murders happen. I can kill someone with a pencil. Speaking of which, do you blame your spelling mistakes on your pencil? Does my gun pick itself up and fire itself?

    Even if this is a replica, he doesnt know how to handle a firearm cuz his finger is on the trigger… Still though, they say it has been PROVEN. Replica it is, STOP CRYING haters.

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