Alan Pardew’s St James’ Park Fortress?

Posted on October 14th, 2011 | 60 Comments |

St James' Park yesterday.
St James' Park yesterday.
Has St James Park started to become a ‘fortress’ since Alan Pardew took the managerial reigns, starting from his first match against Liverpool on the 11th of December 2010?

If we cast our minds back to the 2009 – 2010 Championship winning season under Chris Hughton, Newcastle managed to complete the season without loss at St James’ Park. In fact, Newcastle only suffered four defeats in the league that entire campaign. I remember Newcastle having a reasonably easy ride at home that season, largely due to the quality of squad we possessed in comparison to the rest of the league, though I do recall West Brom giving us a scare, in our 2-2 draw towards the latter stages of the season.

Newcastle’s first match at home in the Premier League the following season, consisted of a 6-0 thumping of Aston Villa. With United seemingly continuing their fantastic home form, you would have been forgiven for thinking Newcastle would ease past their next home opponents, Blackpool, and extend their unbeaten home run on Tyneside to an impressive 26 games in all competitions.

Well, as we all know, Blackpool prospered on the day 2-0 thanks to goals from Charlie Adam and DJ Campbell. Obviously the defeat came as a shock, and if anything, should have served as a wake up call. Things in the Premier League are vastly different to the Championship, and it wasn’t going to be the nice easy ride we endured at home in the previous season. Our Next adversary was to be Stoke City, surely United would learn from their mistakes and not underestimate their opponents?

Again, Newcastle lost, this time 2-1 after leading 1-0 at half time thanks to a Kevin Nolan penalty. Our next home league fixture was a lucky escape against Wigan, where we found ourselves 2-0 down, only for a stoppage time equaliser from the head of Fabricio Coloccini, to rescue United a point. A 4-0 League Cup defeat by Arsenal was then followed by the 5-1 demolition of the Mackems. But again we came crashing back down to Earth, as Sam Allardyce led his Blackburn side to a 2-1 victory in front of the Toon Army. Fulham were the next visitors, playing out to a 0-0 draw. Chelsea proved to be the last opponents at St James’ Park for Newcastle under the management of Chris Hughton, with the match ending in a 1-1 draw.

Enter Alan Pardew…

Pardew’s first game in charge for Newcastle, was the 3-1 victory at home to Liverpool. Next, was the 3-1 defeat inflicted by Manchester City. Leon Best grabbed a hat-trick as United smashed West Ham 5-0, and then Aaron Lennon rescued a point for Spurs during stoppage time, in our 1-1 draw in January. The next home encounter was the epic 4-4 draw with Arsenal, which was then followed by a share of the spoils against Bolton Wanderers. Everton were then victorious at St James’ Park, winning 2-1, but United responded by thumping their next opponents, Wolves, 4-1. Newcastle wrapped up their home league fixtures with a stalemate versus eventual champions Manchester United, a 2-1 victory over Birmingham City and a ridiculous 3-3 draw with West Brom on the final day of the season. This season at St James’ Park, Newcastle have held Arsenal to a 0-0 draw, beaten Fulham 2-1 and beaten Blackburn 3-1.

Under Chris Hughton, Newcastle had some fantastic results at home during the Premier Leagues 2010 – 2011 season, notably the 6-0 against Villa and the 5-1 Versus the tramps. Obviously we had some cracking results away from home under Hughton too, but I only want to focus on our home record at present. Of course, there were however some poor results, losing at home to the likes of Blackpool, Stoke and Blackburn, which were at the time, a big cause for concern. Under Alan Pardew, Newcastle’s home form improved, especially against the teams that were ‘on our level’, though Newcastle did suffer defeats to Everton and Manchester City, Everton remain the only team outside last seasons top six clubs to have defeated Newcastle at St James’ Park under Pardew.

I think Newcastle certainly have improved at home under Pardew, hence why I have written above our results from 2010 to now, so you can analyze the results yourselves and come to your own conclusions. Pardew’s home record since his appointment as manager stands at P14 W6 D6 L2 (including cup competitions), and if you consider Newcastle have faced Arsenal (twice), Man Utd, Man City, Liverpool and Tottenham in that sequence, I think it’s a pretty good record. Hughton’s home record from the 2010 -2011 season (including cup competitions) was P9 W2 D3 L4. In that sequence, the ‘top’ clubs we faced were Arsenal (League Cup) and Chelsea.

Some of you will undoubtedly state that I shouldn’t count the 3-1 victory against Liverpool for Pardew, and that should count as Hughton’s victory. Well as records show, Pardew was the manager.

So what do you think, if you read the above and take in consideration Newcastle’s home record since Pardew’s arrival? If anything, what has improved and how has it been improved? Has it been luck? Or has Pardew installed something we were missing at the start of the 2010 – 2011 season?

Discuss.

NUFCBlog Author: Jimbob Backpacker extraordinaire and current resident of sunny Sheffield. Loves Marmite, hates peanut butter. Sleeps twice a day, wrestles Polar Bears because he can and regards himself as cool as a cucumber in a bowl of hot sauce. Jimbob has written 40 articles on this blog.

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60 Responses

  1. stephen c says:
    October 14, 2011 at 8:50 pm

    “I’m getting good at this.”

    Better than you are at football formations Stephen. :-)

    Please don’t do any more, especially not five in a row.

  2. I can see your point. Maybe with houghton it was sentimental, he was a nice guy who was there for us when we needed someone to blame. Not only that but the season he managed us for was not only in my opinion, one of the most exciting, even though we were in the championship but one of the most fun. Newcastle was buzzing and we knew it. Figures and stats didn’t seem to matter. The 3 – 1 Liverpool game in my opinion can only be down to one man, houghton, pardew was a spectator. It’s a bit like myself driving the bus back from Newcastle last week, I might have been at the front but the bus moves whether I like it or not. And I certainly wasn’t driving it either. But as for fortress maybe we are jumping the gun, have we been tested? No. Saying we are a fortress when we have yet to face big guns is like shooting a drug dealer with a supper soaked and laughing in his face, sooner or later I’m going to face the real thing with an attitude like that and you know what they say, blood is thicker than. Which at the time out of the teams you are referring too. Liverpool were on their knees, chelsea had injury problems all season, arsenal 4-4 was down to two dubious penalties, with only the clean sheet at home to man u giving any term fortress any credence. What I’m trying to say is, if you kick a man when he is down don’t expect not to get spanked when he gets back up. If you claim victory just make sure he wasn’t asleep when you felled him otherwise the sleeping giant will return and angry man. So fortress Newcastle at Christmas when the big boys have come and gone will be something we might be able to coin but until we play the big guns I don’t think we can call ourselves hot shots. Another stat to look for, don’t count the wins, draws and losses count the goals conceded for each manager and you might get a different story. Do goal difference as well. Fortress is fine as long ad the army can fire the arrows on Target at the same time. It works both ways. Less fortress, more barracks.

  3. I wasn’t planning on it worky. My last formation was my third attempt. I managed to attempt to post twice and have my thesis wiped out for not putting valid email. I gave up third time and wrote any old spiel. Although my 2 3 2 2 1 roughly translates to 4 1 3 1 1. I was never really any good at fractions at school. I had explained it in detail but forgot to mention my email when trying to post. I was simply trying to attempt a attacking formation whilst still having enough players back to cover the full backs. Defending for 80 minutes is no good against spurs. Last season showed us that one. We need to attack and open them up. Defend deep into their half and make sure we run them out of energy before they run us. Last 15 minutes against wolves won’t be the same as the last 15 minutes against spurs. Funny I remembered to put my email when coming 1 st 2nd and 3rd.

  4. Few of us wanted Alan Pardew when he came in. We had all taken to Chris Hughton, with good reason. Alan Pardew was the least popular of the options facing us. However, he came in with humility, conscious of our support for Hughton and our regret not just with the way he was dismissed, but that he was dismissed. However, with tact and mindfulness, he has managed to re-build our squad and make it his own. Prior to that, he seems to have won over the potential detractors in Hughton’s squad such as Nolan and Barton. He appears to understand the Geordie nation and share our desire to be entertained, and better still, go out and win. He has acted under the financial and reclusive restraints of the board with a seeming openness and an understanding that what you can’t change you must endure. I tip my hat to him. I truly hope he can become one of the great managers of our famous club and that we can see shining, not tarnished, silverware in our showcase. HWTL.

  5. The thing with pardew that I’m worried about can he sustain the continuity we strive for. Is asking a manager for three good seasons in a row too much to ask? Are we too impatient? Glen roeder style? And sir bobby too. Is it about time we gave our manager time and bit the bullet? Looking back since keagan left first time around we have lived in hope. Maybe Scot parker was right our expectation are too high. We can’t live off fumes we need to work with what we have. But yes I think Newcastle have a great season ahead but can we build on it next season if we do? History would say maybe not. It would be nice to know in ten years time pardew had just retired as Newcastle boss. Is that to much to ask? I think ashleys train is firmly moving and I think us as fans need to catch up. Maybe I’m wrong. Pardew might well be the yes man ashley and lame arse want but that might be a good thing. Harmony seems to be the way forward instead of gut wrenching alterations that the likes of dagliesh and gullit made. A sensible approach is needed for any progress and if we improve on last seasons 12 th then that can only be a good thing. But can I pose a question? I brought this up last week and it caused a stir, did pardew deliberately look for the draw against westbrom? 8th we would have finished which would have given pardew a mammoth job this season to improve on. Would you have been impressed if we finished 10th this season after finishing 8th last? Is it me it has pardew wrote a bit of the history books himself?

  6. stephen,
    so we’re shit then & lucky to boot, doesn’t matter what form we play then, hey?
    Just stick any 11 out there & by the law of ‘dumb luck’ we’ll ‘survive’ n’ stuff.

    Not having ago mate, just summarizing!

    :)

  7. did pardew deliberately look for the draw against westbrom?
    eh? after being 2-0 up?
    the financial loss alone of 12th instead of 8th was over £3m !
    I could believe he was part of a conspiracy to shoot Kennedy, but not one to be 12th and throw away good prize money.

  8. Agree with Supermac – No way did AP go for the draw. No way in the world. More like he was behind 9/11 than that…

  9. i never said we were shit and lucky to boot. but looking at things honestly, we were lucky. the 4-4 arsenal game was great and no one enjoyed coming back from 4 goals down than me(especially after some arsenal fan managed to smuggle himself into club 1892 and wave 4 fingers in the air when removed from the seat in front of me) but statistics dont show everything, they just show the final score. they don’t take in to account referee mistakes or lines mens errors. if i reember rightly even shearer questioned the second penalty against arsenal and giving van percy the flag for offside when it was 4-4 was tighter than my cats arse. some to look to the future and be realistic you have to ignore the statistics because they dont take into account one very vital statistic that everyone forgets HUMAN ERROR. im not saying were are shit, im not even saying we are lucky. to be honest we deserved 8th place last season, but maybe it was too much to improve on for this season and for the long term good we finished 12th.(i’m thinking bigger picture) im only trying to be honest with my approach im not trying to fall short of being a Newcastle fan, im a season ticket holder like a lot of you. but i like to look at things realistically, after all referees are only good for 90 minutes and even then they seems to go awol for 5 of those. but its those 5 minutes that can be most pivotal and thats why i looked at things they way i mentioned. do you think the second penalty at arsenal was just? after seeing the replay? don’t get me wrong we deserved it and i’m not going to sit and say scratch it off, in football those decisions are few and far between. what im saying is stats say one thing but reality says another and stats arent always the best thing to go by. if you were there then you would know. last year 1-1 against spurs, stats would say we drew in reality we were robbed, we played spurs off the park all game. so there is a gulf that stats don’t cover. so to summarize I’m saying looking at stats doesn’t give you a true picture, referees now are making mistake week in week out but stats don’t show it. typical example
    Liverpool 2 – 0 Everton. does that reflect an honest game? it certainly doesnt show human error for the red card and the cheating diving bastard making a meal a top class tackle.

  10. supermac and hollywood. what im saying is it makes his life easier this season only having to improve on 12th, maybe is was executive decision to make Big mikes life a little better. it would give Newcastle a better prospect if we show we are improving year on year should Ashley sell up in three or four years. investment wise it makes sense and looks better on paper to improve year on year rather than highs and lows, we’ve all seen how city any lists work from, Ashley is one of those, so people who would be looking to invest aren’t going to be looking at a decent season followed by a realistic one they will see a progressive return, and ensuring a good prospective investment. and £3million to a billion are is like £50 to you and me. well ok a fiver. and even then i’m scrambling for dear life. im just trying to look at it in terms or billionaire investors and how it would look to them in 3 or 4 years down the road. Ashley isn’t a stupid man, business wise he know how to play it. im not saying he will sell in 3 or 4 years im just saying he is wise enough to keep his eggs in alot of baskets and make sure the baskets look good. after all to him we are nothing but a business and we shouldn’t expect him to think otherwise he doesnt share the same poison we have running through our veins that blinds us and makes us sleep on the sofa when we come home pissed when we’ve had a few too many and forgot the time. black and white blood isnt something he has but those green backs flashing in his eyes seems to be the only thing driving him on.

    and as my previous post the stats will look good for all concerned if it looks like we are improving year on year. especially for Pardew who hasn’t exactly set any boat on fire any where he has been

    it was only a thought anyway. i thought it was possible.

    i’ve also noted your concerns to the FBI website they are going to get back in touch in the next 24 hours.

  11. Paul in Hollywood says:
    October 14, 2011 at 9:29 pm

    “Few of us wanted Alan Pardew when he came in. We had all taken to Chris Hughton, with good reason. Alan Pardew was the least popular of the options facing us.”

    We didn’t really have any “more popular” options Paul, as they wouldn’t have touched the club with a bargepole without an utterly ridiculous offer. He was stuck with a pool of either desperados who had been out of the game for a while or other lower league stock. Yes, Lee Clark’s a lower league manager and he would have been more popular but other than that I’m stumped and I don;t think that they would have wanted him anyway otherwise they would have just kept Hughton. That was one of the most bizarre features of the decision in the first place, unless you accept that they wanted Pardew in for reasons which weren’t necassarily connected to matters on the pitch or on the training ground.

  12. worky its clear now Pardews employment was down to debts owed by Pardew to Lamearse nothing more. its just good its turning out to be a half decent move.

    Personaly i think Ashley might not have intended for Pardew to do so good. those end days of Wimbledon spring to mind. and that Comedy programme that used to be on TV where the chairman wanted the club to fail so he could turn it into a supermarket.

    Supermac?????? what do you mean do i believe in flying saucers? i’ve driven around in one once when on holiday in USA. theres more to Nevada than Las Vegas Baby.

    but if you want an honest answer…………

  13. Stephen C says:
    October 15, 2011 at 12:38 am

    “worky its clear now Pardews employment was down to debts owed by Pardew to Lamearse nothing more.”

    How’s that clear Stephen? Where’s the proof of it?

  14. to be honest worky as far as i knew it was common knowledge. i’m not sure where the proof is but i know its well written about.

    i personally have read one article, mail i think, but it does get talked about quite a bit in certain circles.

    maybe its just speculation or pure rumor but its possible. why get rid of hughton for pardew without some underlining issue? a friend out of a job? maybe.
    Ashley, Pardew and Curbishley all hung out together in the same casino. hence why the curbishley rumors circulated for a while before pardew took over.

    either way its water under the bridge now. its just good to see Pardew doing well.
    who knows maybe Mike will make a return to the away end some time soon.

  15. so supermac not only do you believe in conspiracies your time traveling exploits are also something i need to work with.

    supermac don’t suppose you could reach for those lottery numbers when you are there mate.

    although i haven’t read the article just yet does it say he never owed any debts or does it say he doesn’t owe any debts? two different things are far as journalism goes. if he doesn’t owe anything it doesn’t mean he didn’t at the time of employment.

    funny how he has only come out with this one year in the job. he might have paid off the debts by now and be telling the truth. last years bonus would have wiped any debts off I’m sure.

    but as for the FBI, 9/11, Kennedy and flying saucers, we all know the truth mate. WE KNOW, WE KNOW.

  16. ive just read the article.

    “i never gamble” “thats not my world”

    so if he never gambles and he isn’t into casinos where did the all the stories about Curbashly, Pardew, Lamearse and Ashley start? surely there must have been some fuel to the fire? they were going around long before Keagan even took the job second time around. i can remeber going back to when Fat Sam was sacked the two names bandied around were Curbishley and Pardew. if i remember rightly pardew had just left southampton and was out of work.

    and i noticed a line in the article “when i took the Interview” its seems Mr. Ashley was looking for a manger long before Hughton was sacked, to me it seems like the Arsenal Game wasn’t the catalysis after all.

    to be honest it think there is a lot of tongue and cheek in that article.

    anything is possible. nothing as it seems anymore.
    i should know i took a ride on Shergar last night and hes still fit as a lop.

  17. NUFC and flying saucers – two of my favourite subjects, seriously. Google what astronauts Gordon Cooper, Scott Carpenter and Edgar Mitchell have to say on the subject.
    There is way more to life (thanks to God!) than just what we speculate upon down here on planet Earth. Way more. Believe it or not, there’s more to life than just football too…

  18. Stephen C says:
    October 15, 2011 at 1:27 am

    ““i never gamble” “thats not my world”

    so if he never gambles and he isn’t into casinos where did the all the stories about Curbashly, Pardew, Lamearse and Ashley start?”

    Gossip in the media that gets even more outlandish through “Chinese whispers”, jokers and fantasists in pubs, on forums and ‘blogs and all over Stephen.

    For them to catch on they need to be specious, ie vaguely in the realms of possiblity and faintly credible but complete bollocks when you examine them more closely. For instance, the Curbishley thing has probably been thrown in there because he managed Charlton and West Ham like Pardew, and they’re both Londoners who look very faintly similar.

    Incidentally, I’ve just been looking at some of the search terms which brought people into this ‘blog today, as I do from time to time. There’s always some weird ones. Some of today’s were:

    tango man wednesday sheffield, eastenders dirty den finger, face headache, mick mccarthy lookalike, colin ferguson nude, and you, brutus? kwai chang caine…

    What kind of weirdo was looking for a Mick McCarthy lookalike? And how the hell did someone looking for “eastenders dirty den finger” end up here? The mind boggles.

  19. Paul in Hollywood says:
    October 15, 2011 at 3:01 am

    “NUFC and flying saucers – two of my favourite subjects,”

    Flying saucers, enough said when you’re in Hollywood Paul! ;-)

    It’s the NUFC one that’s a little odd. Funnily enough, whenever things seem to be going well for the Toon, I always fear that the squad is going to be abducted by aliens, but then something even more bizarre and catastrophic happens usually!

  20. Worky, don’t just take my word for it (on UFOs)…

    “At no time, when the astronauts were in space were they alone: there was a constant surveillance by UFOs.”
    –NASA Astronaut Scott Carpenter

    We all know that UFOs are real. All we need to ask is where do they come from, and what do they want?”
    –Apollo 14 Astronaut Capt. Edgar Mitchell

    “All Apollo and Gemini flights were followed, both at a distance and sometimes also quite closely, by space vehicles of extraterrestrial origin – flying saucers, or UFOs, if you want to call them by that name. Every time it occurred, the astronauts informed Mission Control, who then ordered absolute silence.”
    –Maurice Chatelain, former chief of NASA Communications Systems.

    Heady stuff…

  21. tango man wednesday sheffield, eastenders dirty den finger, face headache, mick mccarthy lookalike, colin ferguson nude, AND YOU, brutus? kwai chang caine…

    can i ask a question???? was i actually searched for or was it the words AND YOU?

  22. Stephen C – great crack mate, cheered me up this gameless morning with it’s bad welsh rugby news, I look forward to your next posts – but have you ever considered becoming a 5under1and supporter? Look one in the eyes and it’s obvious they’ve been taken over by aliens – and there is firm evidence (google & wiki) that they are growning huge seed pods inside the old Joker Park and that dozens are taken to the Stadium of Sh!te every home game to convert more.

  23. Meanwhile, back in the real word – brilliant to see that Peter Beardsley has been promoted to Football Development Manager to “help us develop a truly world-class development programme.”
    I’m very impressed with the direction this club is now taking – all power to his elbow!

    HWTL

  24. Sorry if it has been posted but Bob Moncur is set to become club liaison between the club and supporters. Very good move, imo. There is no way he will be a puppet for the regime. Which can only mean Ashley is looking to go with a more honest aproach. It’s also good to see some one like Bom Moncur being involved in the club

  25. summerof69@30, it’s funny when so much is blathered on about toon legends that Bob Moncur’s name seldomnly comes up, but he is a geordie legend for his Fairs Cup exploits alone…

    Absolutely great move by the club, a perfect choice imo.

    Pretty soon the fans won’t have anything more to whinge about…. :lol: :lol: ;-) ;-)

  26. That is the aim Munich but i think we are as good as any at finding any slight negative slant on the club and if we can’t find anything we”ll just moan about other clubs.

  27. If you want any lessons on whinging try an arsenal site – OK ther’re having a sticky patch (not recovered from 4-4 ?) but considering how well they are run & what Wengler has done for them for years, the ungrateful cockneys want him sacked!

    Well let them try Fat Sam or Souness for a while!

    It just shows that some people are just pub emptying loud mouths who can never be satisfied and who search for faults just to sound knowledgeable and important.

    Here endeth the lesson.
    We will now sing The Blaydon Races and support NUFC

    HWTL

  28. summer – thanks, I missed that about Moncur, yet another good move!

    I also notice that James Perch looks set for a loan move to Derby – considering how small our squad is (esp. defence) I quess this is because we have a signing lined up – Pieters I hope!

  29. And we are still thinking Chris Hughton might swap Ranger for Liam Ridgewell – which is great ‘cos we could have Santon, Pieters & Ridgewell wo can play anywhere in the back 4.
    Did anyone hear a buzz that Raylor was wanted on loan as well? Who to?

  30. Is that really St James Park in the picture, sure has changed since I was last there.

    As someone who dabbled in the UFO field and staged several large conventions dedicated to it and related subjects. I was always amazed at the number of ordinary people who would sit quietly in the audiences then approach me or colleagues to relate their own experiences. They weren’t looking for fame or recompense, just wanted to tell someone. Incidently I have seen so many “UFO’s” myself it’s impossible to believe there is not something out there. It important to know the difference between ordinary airplanes, sattelites and the numerous celestial bodies that are often the main source of many mistaken sightings.

    By the way actual life has been proven to exist on Mars albeit on a micro scale at present, I expect bigger things will soon be found, life is everwhere in the solar system imo.

    Although I’m not expecting any inter-planet footy to be played in the near future.

  31. Munich Mag says:
    October 15, 2011 at 12:42 pm

    “but he is a geordie legend for his Fairs Cup exploits alone…”

    Munich, he played wuth Newcastle for twelve years, he was our captain for many of those and Joe Harvey once described him as “the supreme sweeper”. He was a legend for far more than the Fairs Cup, but he was a Newcastle United legend, not a “Geordie legend” as he was from Perth in Scotland, not Tyneside.

    That’s what annoys me slightly when Geordies talk disparagingly about Scottish football, as we probably been as many NUFC legends from there as there have been from the local area. Hughie Gallacher and Ronnie Simpson were others. When we won our last major trophy before the Fairs Cup, the FA Cup in 1955 we were also captained by a Scot, Jimmy Scoular, with the abovementioned Simpson in goal. As well as being one of our greatest centre forwards ever, Gallacher was also our captain when we won the league in 1927 too.

  32. supermac says:
    October 15, 2011 at 1:26 pm

    “And we are still thinking Chris Hughton might swap Ranger for Liam Ridgewell”

    I’m not Supermac. That would be daft! Birmingham have sold most of their top players is because they need money, not radgie gadgies who think they’re Gangstas.

  33. summerof69 says:
    October 15, 2011 at 2:10 pm

    “Yeah, but Scotish football is shit now.”

    Maybe it’s Englaish football that is “shit” 69? Otherwise we wouldn’t need so many current Scottish players such as Charlie Adam, Alan Hutton, Darren Fletcher and all the rest, and managers such as Alex Ferguson, David Moyes, Kenny Dalglish, Alex McLeish and several others who are currently managing English Premiership clubs too. Both today and in the past, English football wouldn’t be what it is without Scotland.

    Isn’t it a little churlish to feed off a country’s best talent for generations then just turn around and deride them like that?

  34. supermac says:
    October 15, 2011 at 11:03 am
    Stephen C – great crack mate, cheered me up this gameless morning with it’s bad welsh rugby news, I look forward to your next posts – but have you ever considered becoming a 5under1and supporter? Look one in the eyes and it’s obvious they’ve been taken over by aliens – and there is firm evidence (google & wiki) that they are growning huge seed pods inside the old Joker Park and that dozens are taken to the Stadium of Sh!te every home game to convert more.

    funny you should mention “have you ever considered becoming a 5under1and supporter?”

    i can remember a time way way back when the grass was green and the land was peaceful and mellow. i packed my bags and went off to ply my trade as a chef. it wasn’t long before the realism of life approached what was once a nice fitting fellow, i found myself surrounded by people i had never experienced before. i found myself waking up to fumes each morning before work, living in staff accommodation didn’t work too well. cannabis flushing through my room like a makems vagina in Newcastle. it wasn’t long before insanity set in, i found myself not caring about the world instead i replaced the love of Newcastle united for buttercups, daffodils, snow drops, parma violets and love hearts. needless to say i just wasn’t myself.

    my 21st birthday approached i came home for a celebration and the world just wasn’t the same. no longer did i yearn the green green grass of home but i hated it. my father was always good a mowing the lawn, the butter cups, clover and snow drops were all cut down to size.

    life became unbearable. one morning i found myself trapped. men in white suites all around me. they had come to take me away haha.

    i woke up the next morning sedated in quite a euphoric state. the daffodils were looking impressive. i started my own movements but it didn’t last long,the “Don’t smoke dope Love a Makem” Foundation didn’t seem to take off.

    when i returned home i thought i would stand by example and do something many of you would find unforgivable, yes i put on a Red and white Jersey.

    i know from experience Supermac, makems have not been taken over by aliens and there is no pod at the old Joke Park site.

    i know because i witnessed it first hand.

    the second i put on the Red and White jersey i was over come with emotion, the love of daffodils and buttercups had gone. instead a powerful force much greater than anything i had ever faced before, took over.

    i felt my self looking at my mother is some of the most sexually explicit ways possible, i wanted to make love to my father in so many ways, i felt myself attracted to my younger brother, even my dog got a look in.

    i traveled to Mecca to find true salvation but they had closed early that day and i found myself stood at the gates of Joker PArk. it was busy for a place that had been deserted years before, but none the less i walked in.

    what i found there was to give me the biggest sense of reality i have ever had, a secret society i never knew existed.

    i can tell you supermac, they haven’t been taken over by aliens its just there way of life, the pods you talk about aren’t pods its just the size of life there.

    walking around the many people at the deserted Joker Park it didn’t take me long to see that this red and white jersey wearing feeling that had taken over was something of normality for them.

    as i watched son with mother and father with daughter in what looked like mass inbreeding i felt inclined to ring my own parents and invite them along, i picked up my mobile phone and called home, that second i realized the power of inbreeding was week to the Geordie race. the sound the tone as i waited for my father to pick up the phone took over, as the phone line carried my message Through Newcastle and along through Northumberland and back again, i awoke from this Makem trance and threw this inbreed creation to the floor. i made a hasty getaway that night and returned home.

    so supermac wikipedia and google are wrong, they aren’t aliens the big pods you refer to are just big fat lasses and some of the mothers can reach even twice that size.

    the fathers and sons are thin weedy men with seeming only a few brain cells amongst them. this master race they try so hard to create even denies them selfs looking at the Moon and the Stars if they have to look in a northernly direction. even sun dials stop working at times of the day. the fear of sun beams having passed by Newcastle before they reach 5under1and is why so many of them look so deficient.

    needless to say supermac the Geordie Power was far greater that the power of the Imbreeds. i often wander what my life would have been like if my phone signal had not passed through Newcastle that fateful night.

    but supermac rest assured No Family members were harmed in the telling of this story.
    and my dog lived to walk another day.

  35. Bloody hell Stephen C
    It’s dangerous to send such long posts – the FBI (or even the NHS) can easily home in ones like that!
    I like you style though – but there is an error in your logic.
    Look closely at Steve Bruce – the being you now see looks like, talks like & walks like Brucie – but he’s not. He was once a geordie, once a good footballer, once a good manager – but not any more, he’s been taken over by a makem pod and is now as bad as them!

  36. supermac says:
    October 15, 2011 at 4:08 pm

    “He was once a geordie”

    supermac, hardline Geordie fundamentalists might say the he was an ex-Northumbrian rather than an ex-Geordie. ;-)

    I’m one of those people who believe that ‘agent Bruce’ was the lovechild of a shite boxer who was always getting pasted, and an overweight dinner lady.

  37. supermac says:
    October 15, 2011 at 11:08 am

    “Meanwhile, back in the real word – brilliant to see that Peter Beardsley has been promoted to Football Development Manager to “help us develop a truly world-class development programme.”

    I wonder if Pedro and Graham Carr are getting the same wages as Dennis Wise, Tony Jimenez and Jeff Vetere used to, as they are now doing the same job more or less, plus Pedro’s still coaching the bairns.

  38. workyticket says:
    October 15, 2011 at 4:54 pm
    supermac says:
    October 15, 2011 at 11:08 am

    “Meanwhile, back in the real word – brilliant to see that Peter Beardsley has been promoted to Football Development Manager to “help us develop a truly world-class development programme.”

    I wonder if Pedro and Graham Carr are getting the same wages as Dennis Wise, Tony Jimenez and Jeff Vetere used to, as they are now doing the same job more or less, plus Pedro’s still coaching the bairns.

    Worky, supermac said back in the real world!!!!!!! you’ve got more chance of me wearing a Makem shirt than pedro and carr being paid the same as Wise, Jimidy cricket and Veetle.

    anyway back to the real world. wait for it lads…….

    at least we are still 4th………..

  39. October 15, 2011 at 2:10 pm

    “Yeah, but Scotish football is shit now.”

    Maybe it’s Englaish football that is “shit” 69? Otherwise we wouldn’t need so many current Scottish players such as Charlie Adam, Alan Hutton, Darren Fletcher and all the rest, and managers such as Alex Ferguson, David Moyes, Kenny Dalglish, Alex McLeish and several others who are currently managing English Premiership clubs too. Both today and in the past, English football wouldn’t be what it is without Scotland.

    Isn’t it a little churlish to feed off a country’s best talent for generations then just turn around and deride them like that?

    I’ll admit they have some good managers but apart from the odd player here and there they lack quality on the playing side. I mean when was the last time they qualified for a tournament ? Just look at the SPL, what an awful league that is the only two teams that would play in the Premier league are Celtic and Rangers and even still, i wouldn’t be totally convinced they would have enough quality to stay in the league. If Scotish football is so good then why did Celtic and Rangers want to join the English Premier League.

  40. Yes, we havn’t even played & we’re still 4th.
    Beat spurs & we’re back to 3rd !
    I don’t want to tempt fate but with our goal dif if we loose to spurs we still remain 4th – what a start to the season!

    workey – I bow to your superior knowledge, so how do you actually rate Liam Ridgewell? I don’t ever remember seeing him play.

    HWTL

  41. Worky….give ower man….don’t try and defend Scottish international football…it is shit, no matter how many sweaties are playing in the English leagues !

    I would go as far as say that Scotland would land fourth in the pecking order behind England, the Republic and the newly rejuvenated Wales….

    Gone are the days when great Scots formed the backbone of great English teams, Billy Bremner, Graham Souness, Kenny Daglish, Don Mason, Alex MacLeish, Peter Lorimer, Roy Aitken etc etc… The days of “Ally’s Army” are well and truly behind us…you only need to look at the stats to see how often Scotland have qualified for the major tournaments….relatively poor show really….

  42. Steven C…you don’t know that Pedro and Graeme Carr AREN’T earning the same as the previous muppets at the club. And if they aren’t, so what, does it make any difference or is that just a good reason to whinge about summat ?

  43. Whats up with y’all, this is the craziest bunch of crap have had the misfortune to skim through, crazy, stupid and boring.
    Surely you all can do better ?
    Is there a full moon ?

    Workie
    See you are still miss-using the expression radgie, you imply it’s a meaning is someone enraged, or angry, simply i would guess because there’s a similarity in the spelling which shows a lack of understanding of the words original meaning.
    The proper meaning is something disgusting, dirty, etc.
    In which case a radgie gadgie, translates into a dirty old man. ( no not in the sense of a sex offender, just disgusting)
    So i hope this will get you to cease and desist the miss use of the term in future, cause it’s both annoying and
    leads other plastic Geordies to repeat the same miss use, ok !
    Not as you imlply an enraged old guy

  44. chuck says:
    October 15, 2011 at 7:30 pm

    “See you are still miss-using the expression radgie, you imply it’s a meaning is someone enraged, or angry, simply i would guess because there’s a similarity in the spelling which shows a lack of understanding of the words original meaning.”

    Aye Chuck, you do actually have a something of a point there. When I was a bairn up north, it did used to be used with a somewhat different meaning, either as you say, a dirty old man, and then a bit after that, an ill tempered old man, or even someone who was just a bit mad but not necessarily in a violent, psychotic sense. However when I’ve used it more in that sense recently, I’ve been constantly “corrected” and misunderstood by slightly younger Geordies (FFS I sound like I’m 90 here which I’m not), so I just gave up. Toonsy was one of ’em.

    I do remember an old Geordie who worked for my mother up in Tyneside who was often saying stuff like “Eeeeh, look at him with hands aal ower hor, what a radgie gadgie!”

  45. munich mag

    i wasn’t having a winge. i was continuing with the previous conversation.
    the world as you know it does not exists.
    the exploits of the blog have turned into somewhat more than you could expect.

    dont be fooled by this blog, it is a FBI surveylance gold mine. not only have we founds links to alqueda amoung us we have also pin pointed a direct area involved in Extra terrestrial life.

    i life Munich but not as we know it.

    i will let supermac and worky tell you the rest.
    Paul in Bollywood gave some great insight into his very own space cowboy experiences in the USA.

    Long live the Moon Juice.

    Howay The lads

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