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The curious case of the frozen Demba Ba

Posted on April 13th, 2012 | 12 Comments |

Demba Ba undergoes cryogenic treatment.
For puposes of illustration only
Newcastle United striker Demba Ba undergoes cryogenic treatment and tweets accordingly.

I can remember a time when it was all the rage for ‘eccentrics’ to have their head removed and stored in freezing conditions. After death that is. It’s definitely not recommended before death as heads can be useful to living beings, not least as a place to keep a hat. The premise was that in some far-flung future the technology would be available to either transplant the head onto a new body or somehow ‘download’ the brain’s data into a computer and carry on a life within some technical reality.

Personally I have no truck with ‘far-flung futures’. When I was about 12 or 13 – which would be at a time when flares, fizzy cola bottles and Earth Wind & Fire were the vogue – my maths teacher told me that, by the year 2000, technology would have replaced much of the work people do and that we’d all just turn up for work two days a week and live a life of leisure the rest of the time.

Needless that turned out to be the single most inaccurate thing I learnt at school and I’m sure my professional life would have been completely different if I hadn’t been taught that by the year 2000 I could loll around on beaches all day and still collect a fat pay-cheque.

Anyway, that’s all padding for a post that is about nothing more than Demba Ba’s recent cryogenic treatment. He didn’t remove his head but instead removed his clothes and spent 3 minutes in a room cooled to -110C, which is exceedingly chilly, and tweeted thusly:

I’ve been locked in a room -110 degrees for three min. Nearly naked. I never felt so cold. But now I feel refreshed and ready for the last five games.

Apparently 10 minutes in such temperatures can be fatal but short bursts of these sorts of cryogenics treatments can apparently help to alleviate sporting injuries. The science behind it is that the extreme cold causes capillaries to construct and reduces inflammation, and it supposedly releases hormones into the muscles and changes the antioxident balance of the blood, although I have no idea how that helps. I might have been able to tell you more about it if I’d become a doctor instead of listening to my maths teacher and planning for a life of leisure.

I haven’t read why Demba Ba in particular has been subjected to this treatment and the worry of course is that it might be in some way related to his dodgy knee.

Much has been said about Demba Ba’s recent lack of goals but we have to bear in mind that he’s been tasked with a different role lately too. As the left side of a front three he’s going to spend a bit less time in front of goal than he might in a 4-4-2 or as the lone front-man in a 4-5-1. I think he’s doing a pretty good job in that role but I can’t help but wonder if he’s getting a bit frustrated at his lack of goals. Goals are, after all, what a striker lives for.

Either way, lets hope his treatment works and that he is part of a successful run-in for Newcastle.

NUFCBlog Author: Hugh de Payen I'm a baby-boomer of the punk rock persuasion, currently exiled in Somerset for crimes committed in a previous life where locals keep trying to poison me with something called 'scrumpy'. Hates sprouts, coat-hangers, Cilla Black, ornaments, Steven Seagull movies and 50 Cent (he's not worth 10). Hugh de Payen has written 634 articles on this blog.

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12 Responses

  1. Its not like he’s playing badly. Stick with him and he’ll come good with goals. He’s class and we’ve looked revitalized at just the right time with the new front three. But special praise for me goes to Jonas. What a pro, does what’s asked, gets stuck in and has clearly developed a lot more strength in the last year.

  2. Crikey!

    And just when we thought we’d handed the “laughing stock” baton to Liverplol…..

    Seriously though – I’m pleased they’ve done something, because in goals terms, Demba has been rather “frozen out” lately and given the “cold shoulder”…he’s usually so “cool as ice” in front of goal too :o

  3. seeing Newcastle with plan b if ba does happen to leave would be sad to see him leave just as long if he does go,not to another epl team and to his boyhood team of psg. Of course he could sign a new contract and everything is fine :)

  4. UTD111 says:
    April 13, 2012 at 12:04 pm

    “Crikey!

    And just when we thought we’d handed the “laughing stock” baton to Liverplol…..”

    They’re rumoured to be going after Johan Cruyff or Louis van Gaal, UTD111, which would be going from the ridiculous to the sublime after Comolli. It would certainly be interesting if they brought one of those in, especially Cruyff (and his ego).

    http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story/_/id/1048349/johan-cruyff-linked-with-liverpool-role-following-comolli's-exit?cc=5739

    http://www.goal.com/en-gb/news/2896/premier-league/2012/04/13/3032947/liverpool-target-van-gaal-or-cruyff-as-comolli-replacement

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/17698239

  5. “Apparently 10 minutes in such temperatures can be fatal but short bursts of these sorts of cryogenics treatments can apparently help to alleviate sporting injuries. The science behind it is that the extreme cold causes capillaries to construct and reduces inflammation, and it supposedly releases hormones into the muscles and changes the antioxident balance of the blood, although I have no idea how that helps. I might have been able to tell you more about it if I’d become a doctor instead of listening to my maths teacher and planning for a life of leisure.

    I haven’t read why Demba Ba in particular has been subjected to this treatment and the worry of course is that it might be in some way related to his dodgy knee.”

    It’s called cryogenic physiotherapy or “cryotherapy”, Hugh, and it would be good for inflammation in Ba’s dodgy knee.

    http://lifeofmillennium.com/pdf/Cryogenic_Physiotherapy_English.pdf

  6. Sky Sports Football Goal Of The Week has both HBA’s (the run) and Cisse’s goals (the lob over the keeper)….

    They’ve got soe good goals in there – apart from a penalty by Arsenal’s Van Plonker??? Wut??

    HBA is currently winning it with 53% of the vote :)

  7. “HBA is currently winning it with 53% of the vote :)”

    That’s a crock, it should be 100% !

  8. You got that right, the Cruyff ego !
    But it’s seemingly a common trait in Dutch managers, but with a certain justification i might add.
    I would certainly have no objection to a Van Gaal, Jol,
    Cruyff etc. at St. James’.
    The Dutch Masters, could i believe mould this side and play a modern version of the game, both entertaining and productive.
    But what am i saying, never gonna happen here, but would’nt be surprised to see it at Anfield.

  9. Chuck says:
    April 13, 2012 at 4:00 pm

    “You got that right, the Cruyff ego !
    But it’s seemingly a common trait in Dutch managers, but with a certain justification i might add.
    I would certainly have no objection to a Van Gaal, Jol,
    Cruyff etc. at St. James’.”

    I wouldn’t put Jol in quite the same category, Chuck. I’ve had the totally unrealistic dream of having Cruyff at Newcastle United ever since I was a bairn. If football’s greatest genius went to Liverpool after all that time, I would not be pleased in the slightest. Having said that, Liverpool may either win the Champion’s League, or explode into a million pieces with Cruyff there. He must have his own way.

  10. Not sure either Van Gaal or Cruff are interested in the managers job @ Anfield, probably more inclined to-wards the director of operations role.
    And having read all of the assurances given to Dalglish, (“The Kiss of Death”) would’nt be surprised if there was a massive clearout, of both playing staff and managerial people.
    It’s the American way, no success, your outta here.
    We’ll get someone who can bring success.

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