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An idiot’s guide to Toon European qualification #2

Posted on May 9th, 2012 | 121 Comments |

Kenny Dalglish helps Newcastle United make sure they finish at least 5th
Thanks Kenny: finally did something good for us!
Newcastle United benefit from Liverpool’s win last night but what does this all mean in terms of where we go in Europe next season?

Perhaps the most important news of the day is that Liverpool’s win over Chelsea last night means the Newcastle are assured of at least a 5th place finish this season. So that means that Arsenal, Spurs and Newcastle will fight it out next Sunday for 3rd, 4th and 5th and any of those three teams could end up in any of those spots.

We currently have 65 points, Spurs have 66 and Arsenal have 67, and on Sunday Arsenal are away to West Brom, Spurs are at home to Fulham and we’re away to Everton. I’d say that we have the toughest fixture of those three and I suspect 5th is where we’ll finish this season as I reckon Arsenal and Spurs are probably good for 3 points from their fixtures, but I’ll be keeping my hopes alive until the final whistle.

Back in March I wrote an Idiots Guide To Toon Europa Qualification, which thoroughly confused me and everyone who read it. I’m please to say the scenario is now much simpler and looks like this:

If we finish 5th, we’re in the Europa League and start at the Play-Off round, regardless of what happens with Chelsea in the Champions League final. The draw for that takes place on Friday 10th August 2012 and the two legs of that round take place on Thursday 23rd August and Thursday 30th August. If we win that, we go into the Group Stage, the draw for which takes place on Friday 31st August and the matches – 6 for each team in all – are played throughout September, October and November. If we get through the Group Stage, the Knockout Stage matches are all played in February, March and April of 2013.

If we finish 3rd, we’re in the Champions League and enter at the Group Stage. The draw for that takes place on Thursday 30th August and the matches – 6 in all, like the Europa League – are played from September to December.

The only question mark is what happens if we finish 4th because that depends on whether or not Chelsea win the Champions League. If Chelsea lose the Champions League final (and we finish 4th), we’d go into the Champions League Play-Off Stage. The draw for that is on the 10th August and the matches are played on 21st/22nd August and 28th/29th August. If Chelsea win the Champions League final though (and we finish 4th), we’d be kicked down into the Europa League but would enter it at the Group Stage, one round later than we would for finishing 5th.

Where we finish is somewhat out of our hands now and all we can do is go to Goodison on Sunday and try to get 3 points. But, either way, we’ve got European football to look forward to next season, which is quite a remarkable turnaround given that it’s only three seasons ago at this time of year that we lost 1-0 at Villa Park and ended up being relegated. This season is quite a contrast to that horrible sinking feeling we had that day.

For all I know we could lose our first European tie and be on an early bus home but my biggest worry is how an extended European run will deplete the energy of our squad and the knock-on effect that might have for domestic games. It’s no different to the worries that other clubs of our size or smaller have of course but it’s a worry nonetheless. Some squad strengthening will help but I would imagine Pardew will still have to prioritise to some extent.

Still, exciting times ahead eh?

NUFCBlog Author: Hugh de Payen I'm a baby-boomer of the punk rock persuasion, currently exiled in Somerset for crimes committed in a previous life where locals keep trying to poison me with something called 'scrumpy'. Hates sprouts, coat-hangers, Cilla Black, ornaments, Steven Seagull movies and 50 Cent (he's not worth 10). Hugh de Payen has written 634 articles on this blog.

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121 Responses

  1. im guessing you have alot of spare time on your hands or you think geordies are stupid or something? gtfo with your shitty articles

  2. Yawn!! Here we go again with the trolls…

    It must be a quiet day elsewhere LOL!

    Same answer as ever “Jim” – no-one forces you to come here, read our articles or comment…

    Maybe you should take your own advice and “gtfo”?

  3. I read somewhere that the Europa League is only worth £3M to the winners? Small potatoes compared with the Champions League!

  4. Why are Scumderland w*nkers so much more interested in commenting on Toon articles than their own? What’s that? Because Scumderland are a worthless team that can’t get into europe with sh!t fans? How did I forget that…

  5. Aye – envy is a terrible thing, especially when it’s combined with anger because someone has just put VAT on your Greggs Pasties :)

  6. Thanks Hugh for summing this up. It’s possible that our players may ease up a bit on Sunday, but then again so might Everton and many of the other teams. My hunch is that Sunday is going to be a crazy day. Crazy scorelines and crazy results. Who knows what might happen? I mean, we could even wind up 3rd!

  7. We definitely have the hardest of the three games to push for 3rd or 4th. However, when you type that last sentence and then look back at it you are reminded of how well the Toon have done, consistently, week in and week out, this season. To even have something to play for in May is a lovely feeling, rather than just avoiding the bottom half like Sunderland. Make hay while the sun shines and enjoy this season. Its been lovely. So has the taking of 4 points off our lesser supported local tools.

  8. UTD111 says:

    “I read somewhere that the Europa League is only worth £3M to the winners? Small potatoes compared with the Champions League!”

    More than that UTD when Fulham reached the Europa final against Atletico the winners made £10m and it was estimated that Fulham made about the same with TV monies.

  9. The obvious problem with playing in the Europa League on Thursday night is that we’d probably need another team to play BPL football on the following Sat/Sun/Mon.

    Not sure the Fatman wants to go down the expansion of the squad route ?

  10. It certainly will be an interesting final day. Have a feeling that chelsea’s presence in the champions league final may have ramifications for us if we finish third. Sure i read somewhere that if chelski win the champions league they’ll take the automatic slot and whoever finishes 3rd would go into the playoffs. I could be wrong though.

  11. Andy

    he has already stated that there is a plan for A, B, and C

    A being champions league

    B being Europa

    and

    C not in europe

    i would think the way Ashley does business we are in for a frantic last fews days of the summer transfer window.

    Ahsley being the man he is, if we finish 4th or even 5th he wont spend a penny until he knows we are into the group stages. seeing as the play off are in the latter days of august that means 1 day for Europa league preparations and 2 days for champions league.

    unfortunately i cant see the club doing it any other way.

  12. chris….you are wrong

    if Chelsea win the 4th place team enter into Europa league simple as that.

    its all about the number of English clubs allowed to enter into the Champions league rather than shuffling teams to accommodate.

    business as usual for 1st 2nd and 3rd

  13. So he should!

    He was playing well & scoring for them ’til de mong came along with his BS.

  14. totally agree. well done Benny.

    i look forward to him tearing seven colours out of our poncey england team.

    England just doing do it for me anymore. all these jumped up stars who would rather play for their clubs than their country have left me with a numb feeling.

    why on earth would players like Rooney not want to play for his country i will never understand. some people die for Queen and country and players like rooney and Nevile Question why players feel hard done to when called up.

    it makes me feel sick to think people have dies for this country in many wars and people like these are unfortunately seem to be the shining light of England dont even want to their own National service and play for England and give it there all.

    im sorry lads but i hope Benny tears england to shreds so show our sorry lot what its like to come back from such a bad event to play so well.

    Good Luck Benny

    it wont be the first time a toon boy has had an England star on his arse.

    you should have seen Carroll v Terry last night. terry was all over the place. so much so Terry had to get Vladamir Klitchko to give Carroll an eldow to the face.

  15. Stephen – as we say in my part of Northumberland, you “get yer heed everywhere” Lol!

    Good interview mate – well done :)

  16. thanks Clint and UTD111

    i could say the same for you two doing your work on here.
    great stuff and great reads.

    i dont see where people can critisize the work you all do to keep us all well oiled.

    we can all write about the past but not many people can do enough research to attempt to write about the future.

    worky has done good here, and with the addition with you UTD111 next season will be even more informative than the last.

    keep it up.

    and yes i like to get my heed in everywhere.

  17. i could see simpson making it as a squad player at a push.

    but i could definitely see Simpson and Shola making the GB team.

    i think im looking forward more to the Olympics than i am the Euros.

    i think im looking forward more to the Eurovision song contest with Englebert Humpadink than i am the Euros

  18. Danny Simpson, Iron Mike, 15 clean sheets and counting!

    Perchino!! how many man of the match performances? and a great utility player.

    Danny Guthrie, super season!

    Some of these blokes deserve a call up! compare them with the Pensioners in the same positions that will go!!

  19. i think the way Carroll played last night showed us one thing.

    he know the euros are coming………

  20. Belfast Toon

    unfortunately here in the real world…….i very much doubt favorites would be dropped for the likes of Willi, Simpson, Guthrie.

    but i agree they deserve something. but unfortunately i think they might scrape the GB team if they are lucky.

  21. Belfasttoon,
    good shout mate, but england squads aren’t picked based on form man.
    ;)

    Stephen,
    i’m looking forward to me dinner more than the euros mate.
    :)

  22. Don’t even know yet mate, but it’ll be at 1 in the AM, so nowt special like.
    Just goes to show how little the euros are tickling me fancy though, hey?

    :lol:

  23. Stephen C, CLiNT FLiCK,

    Your both right, I know. But they’re all good England players, some maybe for the future.

    At least Ferguson is guaranteed a call up for the NI squad!! (all be it in a friendly!!)

    Sausages and “potatoes!” for where tea! No Keith Lemon jokes please!

  24. Clint @24:

    I hate Murdoch, but:

    Fox are showing 6 premier league games simultaneously on Saturday across all of their channels. How is that bad?

    I saw an ad on Fox Soccer yesterday and I think the Newcastle match will be shown on Fox Soccer, their main football channel. Not sure if it is live.

    I don’t know how someone can complain about Fox and football over here. They have two 24 hour channels and Newcastle are on all of the time.

    I at least owe the bible bashing bigot credit for that.

  25. GS,
    that article was claiming that we weren’t being shown mate.
    But they are showing matches that make no difference to the end of season places.
    Gan back & read the article mate. It claims liverpool v blackbum is on but were not.

  26. Clint:

    I read it correctly and I think they are wrong. I saw an ad yesterday saying they are showing our match.

  27. As for England, it is time for Woy to do what Bobby Robson did with Keegan and Brooking.

    Terry, Rio, Lampard, Gerrard out. They think they run the team and it is time for a fresh start.

    They shouldn’t even be in the squad as they would be a disruption if not picked. That won’t happen though.

  28. Clint:

    if the press crucify Roy for dropping them he has an easy answer: “how’d it work out last time lads?”.

    In the past, people complained that those 4 didn’t bring their club form to England matches. Now they would worry if they brought their club form to England matches!

  29. WT – Simeone currently winning the battle of the Argies, maybe Bielsa’s team have played one or two matches too many ?

  30. @ GS I can tell ya how people can complain about FSC…it’s garbage! The studio commentary is absolutely laughable(Warren Barton and Wynalda are TERRIBLE), and half the time they play crap games for the big teams, and ignore good ones elsewhere. Not to mention that some people can’t get the second channel, and the programming they produce themselves is an absolute joke (seen their highlight show, forget what it’s called..goals of the day maybe?) And to top it off, they don’t allow a subscription package online to watch their games streamed there, but rather want you to pay to watch it much later on. It’s sad really.

  31. That being said I find it more amazing we here in the States STILL get to watch the games on live t.v. more often then those who live across the pond. How does that happen?

  32. hoosiertoon says:

    “That being said I find it more amazing we here in the States STILL get to watch the games on live t.v. more often then those who live across the pond. How does that happen”

    Inside the UK the Premier League “guarantee” to tie everything down so you cant watch live games in England while other games are being played. Anything outside the UK is down to Sky/Fox and Setanta and they want to get their investment back.

  33. Hoosiertoon:

    They have to have Americans on the panel and they are quite good. Warren Barton has black and white coloured glasses on so that’s alright with me. So, I have to disagree.

    Fox Soccer show a lot of Newcastle games, and I can watch soccer plus at the pub. In fact, with ESPN as well I think all but one or two Newcastle games have been shown live.

    In addition, Bobby McMahon is an excellent pundit. Much better than most in the UK.

    Add to that Ray Hudson on Gol TV showing the Spanish games, a bit of a whiny voice but hilarious.

    Who do you want? Lawro, Butch and Tommy Smith (the Irish one, not the Liverpool one) for f*cks sake?

  34. hoosiertoon says:
    May 9, 2012 at 8:32 pm

    it is to protect smaller clubs in the country.
    remeber we have something called Relegation which you in the US dont have.

    here relegation means a lot of things for clubs. fall in sales of season tickets, fall in attendances and a loss of players and a huge loss of revenue.

    once a club is relegated you often find supports who arent as loyal follow the nearest big team, if you are from Yorkshire that would be Manchester United especialy now leeds United arent what they were.

    so to stop people not going to lower league games and staying at home to watch games on T.V. they protect the smaller clubs by not allowing games to be shown at 3pm on a saturday.

    there are loads of issues and TBH i think they are genuinely in the best interests of football as a whole.

  35. Hoosiertoon:

    Plus, Fox Soccer have shown the Champions League live and Gol TV the Europa Cup.

    My only complaints are the co-commentators on the English feeds, but even that isn’t a big deal.

  36. Should be able to subscribe to all your teams games live, where ever, whenever. I ain’t buying ’til that happens.
    ;)

  37. Fox Soccer costs about a fiver (pounds) a month and shows about 6 live English games a week plus 3 or 4 live Italian games and The Champions League.

    That’s a good deal in my book even with Centre Partin’.

  38. It is a canny deal like.

    The problem over here is that you have to subscribe to sly sports & that is against my religion.
    Then you have to buy a whole crock of other BS before the sport channels so for the amount of games that i wanna see. it just ain’t worth it.
    You can watch most euro football for free on terrestial tv over here.

  39. I don’t want to bore everyone, but I think Murdoch runs Fox Soccer at a loss, he is going for the Global Franchise thing. Good for me though, as I hate that B’stard and I am getting what I want whilst sort of taking money out of his pocket (for now).

  40. Gs,

    that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

    :lol:

    He’s chowing down on humble pie left, right & centre over here, which is nice!

    :)

  41. And another thing. I don’t know how many of you have visited the USA but the regular TV is almost impossible to watch – there are probably 25 minutes of adverts every hour. This includes the sports which seem to be designed for ad breaks.

    Watching football is a break from this, as at least they show each half in full. Also, they have to squeeze their ads into the half-time break so there is hardly any time for pundits, which should make Hoosiertoon happy!

    When they first showed “soccer” over here they would have their usual ad breaks (every five minutes) and missed so many goals that they had to change it.

  42. Clint:

    I read the British papers and Jon Stewart (famous political comedian here) even did a bit on Murdoch last week.

  43. GS,
    aye,
    we get Jon stewart over here, very funny guy!

    Oh! What i would give for no pundits, mate.
    :)
    Total waste of space here!
    There are a couple of decent ones, but they never get the big games.
    It’s mostly jobs for the boys!

    45 minutes of no ads, nice!
    I’m an American football fan & a bit of baseball, so i know what ya’ mean about ad breaks.

  44. Me & a couple of the lads met Hoosier Toon at the recent arsenal game at ashburton grove, top man!
    & his mate Jake, also, top man.
    Wonder if they’re coming over for a euro jaunt?
    :)

  45. GS says:
    May 9, 2012 at 9:59 pm

    “I don’t want to bore everyone, but I think Murdoch runs Fox Soccer at a loss, he is going for the Global Franchise thing.”

    GS, in the UK, he got a team of Israeli and UK hackers to figure out the codes for the smartcards used by his opposition, On Digital / ITV digital. Then they released them online on the THOIC message boards, which eventually put ITV Digital out of business. He has been completely above the law in Australia, the UK and the US for quite some time now and has been able to do exactly as he likes, until recently.

  46. Clint:

    Jon Stewart on Murdoch:

    http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/04/27/stewart-excoriates-murdochs-mind-boggling-level-of-corruption/

    I am sure Hoosiertoon is a good guy, he supports the Toon. I was only counting my blessings, because 10 years ago we would only get the odd USA Mexico game with bloody Tommy Smith commentating.

    Hoosiertoon, if you come to Chicago get in touch and we can watch a match at The Globe. My ex-wife is from Indiana but I won’t hold that against you.

  47. Clint:

    I am coming over for a “Euro-jaunt” – Munich over July 4th. Pity it wasn’t next week.

  48. GS,

    he is a good lad & seems to know his football too.
    Hey, if i come to Chicago i’ll come & check a game, bud!

    ;)

  49. GS,
    they won’t allow us to see that Jon Stewart vid, wrong country, apparently!

  50. hoosiertoon says:
    May 9, 2012 at 8:32 pm

    “That being said I find it more amazing we here in the States STILL get to watch the games on live t.v. more often then those who live across the pond. How does that happen?”

    That’s normal, hoosiertoon. It’s the same in Asia too when I’ve been over there. I could watch lots of Premiership games when I was in places like India, Vietnam, Cambodia and so on.

  51. Clint:

    You should. Not many NUFC fans at The Globe mainly Arsenal, Man U and Celtic. I lived in Islington for a while so I always want LeArse to do well.

    At the risk of being accused of being a puff, I thought your Chelsea report was excellent and you could feel the passion in it.

    Waiting for NUFC to come here, I’ve seen Man U twice and also Bayern.

  52. Worky:

    Fox News donated $1,000,000 to the Republican Party, which is illegal. His lawyers found a loophole.

  53. GS,

    cheers bud, it was a passionate game & it’s a common Geordie trait.
    I usually find that my Basque & Catalan friends understand that passion, maybe it’s a NE trait?

    I live in Camden Town (border of islington), so it’s heavy arsenal territory round here, but they’re a decent lot, generally.

  54. Clint:

    if you didn’t know, I am from Newcastle but have lived in Chicago for 20 years now.

  55. Been to Camden Market. Well, for about 10 minutes and let the lasses look around whilst I went to the pub.

  56. GS says:
    May 9, 2012 at 10:33 pm

    “Clint:

    Jon Stewart on Murdoch:”

    He’s a little late, GS.

    One of the best people on the misdeeds of Murdoch is his compatriot, John Pilger, and also the gadgie I used to know who worked in his army of tax avoidance specialists.

  57. Worky:

    Jon has done a lot before this, just demolishing Fox News. It doesn’t matter though, there are so many right wing and religeous nuts here that it hardly makes a difference.

    Tax avoidance is legal, what Murdoch does is tax fraud but the IRS and Inland Revenue don’t have the balls to go after him.

  58. GS,
    Ah! I didn’t know that, i shoulda guessed though.
    ;)

    Lasses down the shops, gan doon the pub. Good plan!
    Now there’s a Geordie trait!
    :)

  59. Yeah Clint:

    being divorced, I resent every minute of standing in Zara and H&M and telling her that her arse didn’t look fat in them jeans.

    Unfortunately, I am repeating the same mistake and will probably end up saying the same thing in a few years.

  60. Thanks Bob:

    as I said earlier I saw the Newcastle match adverised as being on Fox Soccer. I didn’t realise it was .com. They’ve never done that before, I mean promoted a match that was on the web and not TV.

  61. GS,
    divn’t pander mate, it’s the scourge of a perfectly good marriage.
    Tell it like it is & she respect ya’ for it…eventually!

    :)

  62. GS says:
    May 9, 2012 at 11:06 pm

    “Tax avoidance is legal, what Murdoch does is tax fraud but the IRS and Inland Revenue don’t have the balls to go after him.”

    Aye, correct.

    On your comment above:

    “I don’t want to bore everyone, but I think Murdoch runs Fox Soccer at a loss, he is going for the Global Franchise thing.”

    He uses his vast resources from sectors he already dominates to destroy the competetition, whether it’s by undercutting them until they’re driven to bankruptcy, or, as I mentioned above, using his status of being above the law to do things like illegally obtaining and releasing the smart card codes of competitors until they’re driven to bankruptcy. Then of course, when he has established complete domination in another sector, things change.

  63. GS says:
    May 9, 2012 at 11:44 pm

    “as I said earlier I saw the Newcastle match adverised as being on Fox Soccer. I didn’t realise it was .com.”

    I telt them to eff off when they wanted to advertise on here. :-)

  64. Bob:

    says on your link that there is a free live stream so it SHOULD be OK. I can hook up the HDMI and watch on the big screen.

    Thanks fo the link, otherwise I would have been scrambling for some dodgy foreign internet hookup like Clint was saying earlier.

  65. Clint @87:

    Are you crazy? When it comes to women’s body image you have to pander otherwise you are not getting any.

    I’ve been lucky enough to marry and date some very beautiful women and they see faults that I never imagined – fat ankles, boney knees, big shoulders! Who cares we look at the face, tits and arse and that’s about it.

  66. GS,
    reverse psychology mate, ya’ missing a trick!

    :lol:

    The inner machinations of a woman’s mind is a delicate balance.

    :)
    ;)

  67. Gs

    i was in California for a month last july and i fell for the same thing.

    i thought the Newcastle matches were going to be on when we played in the USA but as it happens they played every other team that played in the USA instead.

  68. Stephen C.:

    The other teams were in Tournaments, except for Man U who they show on regular (not cable) because they have a big following here (mostly Irish).

    NUFC did a haphazard tour and are not well followed here.

  69. worky can you tell Hugh wants Payen

    that there are a few games missing from the comp. and some need updated.

    i cant spot our 2-0 win at chelsea (which i know i got correct) anywhere. ;-)

  70. @ ClintFlick massive season, I’ve enjoyed every second of it. What’s more, my other friend who is a huge Chelsea fan hasn’t been able to talk his usual garbage, so even better! Would love to be coming to Europe again soon, but am currently broke at the moment so might wait till I study there for a few months next Jan-May.

    @GS I respect that, Tommy Smith is the worst of all. I have no problem with Gol at all, just don’t like the in-studio commentary on FSC, they treat the viewers like we all are stupid and don’t know the game, and cut out of games too early, as well as completely cater to the “big teams”. Insulting a bit if u ask me..and I dislike Wynalda. He was bad when on ESPN, bad now. Love ESPN’s broadcasts, the two they have doing Prem games are great.

    As for Chicago, I am always up there come summer time. Wrigley Field and the Cubs are up there with the Toon in my love for sports teams, and even more tormented! Have family there too, though from Indy myself

  71. Hoosiertoon:

    Had season tickets for the Cubs a few years ago so I feel your pain. I live about a mile away from Wrigley Field now which is where this Soccer Pub is – The Globe.

    If you are here when there is a decent Euro match on, let me know. They are starting a bit later than the Premier League games so you don’t have to start drinking at 9am, more like 12.

    “Old Onion Bag” Smith, I just assumed the opposite to anything he said. Whichever team he picked to win, you should always put your money on the other team.

  72. The US market for Football unlike in European, has no problem showing every league in the worlds games.
    Obviously there being no threat to attendance’s.
    I’m really not sure just how many different leagues are available ?
    Theres the “K”, “J”, “A”, Argentino, Brasilian, Cupa Libertadores, Euro Championship and UEFA cups, EPL, SPL, French, La Liga, Bundisliga, Seria A, Dutch, Championship, US league, etc etc……
    And thank goodness ESPN now hires pro’s, using Mc Manaman as a color commentator, though his thick scouse accent is somtimes more difficult to understand than the Spanish language broadcast.
    Tommy, “Onion bag Smyth” was a bad joke.
    But i discovered some one who rivals him recently.
    This guy is a Geordie color commentator, who only uses euphemisms, the prize so far goes to last nights “tears as big as pineapple chunks”
    Go figure ?

  73. “This guy is a Geordie color commentator, who only uses euphemisms, the prize so far goes to last nights “tears as big as pineapple chunks”

    Chuck, that’s a simile, not a euphemism. It’s a shame you don’t have the Geordie master of simile, metaphor, euphemism and just about everything over there, darts commentator and polymathic genius, Sid Waddell.

    “When Alexander of Macedon was 33, he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer. Eric Bristow (ex World Darts champion) is only 27!”

  74. Chuck:

    You have to stick with Ray Hudson. I didn’t used to like him but he comes out with the funniest one liners. He sounds like a whiny geordie old woman, but you get used to that after a while.

    There is a whole section on you tube dedicated to him and people either love him or hate him.

  75. And Chuck: he makes me LOL at last twice a match which is at least 2 times more than the “Are you being served” reruns that they seem to think is British Humour over here.

    Ah for the old days, when all you needed to be funny were a bunch of stereotypes.

  76. WORKEY
    Yes a simile, but you are missing the point.
    This particular guy, is totally whack, one minute waxing poetically, then switches to mixing metaphors, throw in a few euphemisms and you begin to wonder where did the find this guy.
    Makes it difficult for the play by play guy who cant get a word in.
    You have to laugh, at least for the first five minutes, then he bgins to ware on you and in my case end up without the audio.
    Anyone know who he is, i believe he was commenting on a european league game on the Fox premium channel.
    Face it not too many Geordie color men on telly ?
    Someone must know him ?

  77. Ray Hudson eh!
    Guy’s totally whack !
    Could,nt believe what i was hearing, whats the story on him ?

  78. GS says:
    May 10, 2012 at 8:24 pm

    “Chuck: it is Ray Hudson”

    Ah, him. I wasn’t missing the point after all, Chuck. That gadgie is indeed a wannabe Waddell, only with football instead of Darts. Sid will always be the Geordie master of ridiculous but sublime metaphors though.

  79. Worky @107:

    I have heard him compared to Sid a few times. He grows on you though. I did exactly what Chuck did and watched with the sound turned down, but now I actually enjoy the games he calls.

  80. GS any chance you can record one and give it to Worky for the highlights part of his blog?

    or does he not do Toon Games?

  81. I do believe you’ve underestimated Fulham. All we need is for Dempsey to have a better day than RVP. They can be Arsenal. I don’t think we can top fourth, though, as I can’t see Blackburn giving spurs a game.

    No, not one Toon player will be selected for England. Because that squad, like the entire FA, is more cliquish than 14-year-old girls. Even if Saylor had played the entire season on the form he started with, they’d still select: Ferdinand, Terry, Lescott, blah, blah, blah.

    That’s a really good point about the stoppages, GS. A big part of the reason that as a yank I find watching football particularly rewarding. Though I’ve missed a goodly number of goals in the pisser…

  82. GS says:
    May 10, 2012 at 8:44 pm

    “I have heard him compared to Sid a few times.”

    No one compares with Sid, GS!

    “Dennis’ eyes are bulging like the belly of hungry chaffinch!”

    It’s Geordie Shakespeare.

  83. Stephn C @109:

    Does La Liga, no Toon games. Go to You Tube and you will find clips.

    Calls Ozil “Avatar Eyes” and never refers to him as Ozil.

  84. There’s little restriction on the airing of U.S. sports leagues over here. It used to be that any game that didn’t sell out would be blacked out in the home team’s city as a way of encouraging attendance. It didn’t take long after the entry of big TV money into sports for everyone involved to realize this was counterproductive. The last dinosaur to get this was Bill Wirtz, owner of the NHL’s Chicago Blackhawks. When he died, that was that. Things do become more complex in the playoffs, with abnormal carriers only available in more expensive cable packages getting games.

    But I don’t pay any of the cable vultures anything anymore. I can watch more of everything online, for free.

  85. The only Waddell quote I remember is “give me my arrows of desire”. That might even be Shakespear???

  86. Tunyc

    I thinlk you have mis read the fixtures mate

    West Brom v Arsenal

    Spurs v Fulham

    to be honest im still optimistic. i think last game for Roy will cause a big game scenario and might cause an upset.
    West Brom are capable of it.

    Fulham can play Spurs all day as far as im concerned they like London Derbys and i get the feeling they might get a result.

    i have a good feeling about Sunday. and all games are all to play for the teams that have all to play for. and the teams in question have all to play for one reason or the other.

    a good final day me thinks

  87. GS says:
    May 10, 2012 at 9:12 pm

    “The only Waddell quote I remember is “give me my arrows of desire”. That might even be Shakespear???”

    William Blake – “Jerusalem,” GS.

  88. And did those feet in ancient time
    Walk upon England’s mountains green?
    And was the holy Lamb of God
    On England’s pleasant pastures seen?

    And did the Countenance Divine
    Shine forth upon our clouded hills?
    And was Jerusalem builded here
    Among these dark Satanic Mills?

    Bring me my bow of burning gold!
    Bring me my arrows of desire!
    Bring me my spear! O clouds, unfold!
    Bring me my chariot of fire!

    I will not cease from mental fight,
    Nor shall my sword sleep in my hand,
    Till we have built Jerusalem
    In England’s green and pleasant land.

  89. GS says:
    May 10, 2012 at 9:21 pm

    “Thanks Worky: do you know this stuff or are you the Google Master?”

    It depends, GS. I’ve always been a Blake fan, so I know Jerusalem by heart. I was at his 250th birthday celebrations over here in London a few years back. I remember meeting famous actor, Dudley Sutton, and famous punk, Sue Catwoman there. I think that Sutton did a recital of Jerusalem back then when we were at the memorial service at St Martin in the Fields.

    Here we go

    Dudley Sutton and the Subterraneans: “Jerusalem”

    http://www.myspace.com/music/player?sid=19904576&ac=now

  90. I suppose one could find Hudsons rap somewhat entertaining, especially during a boring game.
    It’s just that whiney delivery that gets to you eventually.
    Plus i wonder how many can actually understand the accent, never mind the mixed metaphors ?

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