Monkey hanger massacre! Hartlepool v Newcastle United highlights, post-match interview, report

Highlights from yesterday evening’s monkey hanger massacre at Victoria Park. There are also some other highlights here.

Hartlepool United were trounced 5-1 with Shola Ameobi opening the account for Newcastle after only 3 minutes, latching on to an irresistable low cross right across the face of the Hartlepool goal by new lad, Romain Amalfitano. Sadly though, the big lad picked up some kind of knock just before half time and was out of the game for the second half.

Only a minute later, there was another Anglo – French partnership. This time, Shola did the honours for the assist almost straight from the restart. After chasing down a long punt down the left flank, he showed exquisite skill with a delicate sidefoot lob over ‘Pool goalkeeper, Scott Flinders, who was many yards off his line by now. Picking up where he left off on the other side of the goalie, he then slid in a low cross to Marveaux who was waiting on the far post. Marveaux somehow managed to hit the post at first despite being at point blank range, though there was a gaggle of ‘Pool defender to thread it through. All was well though when he doubled the tally on the rebound with the first of two goals for the pocket French rocket. Hartlepool United 0 – 2 Newcastle United.

Big Sho was generally causing chaos in the monkey hangers box in what was an excellent performance from the Fenham Eusebio until his appearence was sadly curtailed, leaving us with only two proper first team strikers in the squad now if his injury doesn’t clear up pretty sharpish. Only six minutes after the second goal though, Dan Gosling had the ball in the back of the net once again in what was a very attacking performance overall from the usually more defensive midfielder; though it was ruled offside this time. Not to worry though, the Magpies were three up after twelve minutes. Amalfitano once again crossed the ball in to Ameobi, only for the big lad to be felled like a Giant Sequoia in the Hartlepool area by Scott Flinders. The resulting penalty was duly dispatched by Marveaux for his second goal. Hartlepool United 0 – 3 Newcastle United.

Things went fairly quiet then for the rest of the half with the Magpies comfortably in control. On the restart though, it was Ben Arfa’s turn to show a bit of Gallic flair after trotting on for the second half in place of Steven Taylor. Haris Vuckic was also on for the second half, and interestingly, seemed to be playing as a full striker in place of the crocked Ameobi this time.

It only took a few minutes for Benny to prove that the old magic was still there with some great play. Firstly, he almost got himself a goal after 51 minutes after some good work from Vuckic, who cut in to crack one off himself, only for his effort to strike a Hartlepool defender. The rebound fell straight to the feet of Ben Arfa, though his shot (from around ten yards out) was saved by Flinders. Newcastle’s next attack, led by Ben Arfa again was more successful though. After one of his trademark runs at Hartlepool down the centre of the pitch, he attempted to play in Amalfitano on the right. Though the ball was intercepted, once again, a rebound fell kindly for Newcastle, and Haris Vuckic, who lofted a lovely lob over Flinders for the Magpies’ fourth goal. Hartlepool United 0 – 4 Newcastle United.

Though the game continued with more good work from Newcastle, it was Hartlepool who were the next to strike with a consoltion goal in midst of all the Magpie mayhem. The decision to award a free kick against the newly arrived Abeid seemed somewhat harsh in the first place. When Anthony Sweeney latched on to the resulting free kick, putting the ball past Steve Harper in wor goal. The Mags cried “Offside!” too, but what the hell! Hartlepool United 1 – 4 Newcastle United.

Much of the rest of the game saw a succession of substitutions from both teams which broke up the flow perhaps, with all of the Newcastle United bench getting a go at some point, though of course, that is what these friendly games are all about. As if the game wasn’t already over, one of thise later subs, Gabriel Obertan made the rout complete with a powerful, low diagonal shot from just inside the box in what was a very frisky cameo overall from the flying Squid. Final score: Hartlepool United 1 – 5 Newcastle United.

So, there were some very encouraging performances overall, albeit against League One opposition. Before I go, it should be mentioned in dispatches that it was good to see a much improved performance from Vuckic after some rather rusty ones in previous friendlies, which of course is understandable with his time out with seemingly endless injury as well as the usual close season break.

Hartlepool United (4-4-2): Scott Flinders (G) Neil Austin (C), Peter Hartley, Jack Baldwin, Evan Horwood (Darren Holden 46); Jonathan Franks (Ben Wignall 87), Simon Walton (Paul Murray 67), Antony Sweeney, Andy Monkhouse (Nathan Luscombe 75); Luke James (James Poole 75), Steve Howard.

Subs: Paul Murray, Nathan Luscombe, Darren Holden, James Poole, Ryan Tuck, Ben Wignall

Newcastle United (4-2-3-1): Steve Harper (G, Jak Alnwick 84) Danny Simpson (Curtis Good 73), Steven Taylor (Hatem Ben Arfa 46), Mike Williamson, James Tavernier; James Perch (Ryan Taylor 73), Gael Bigirimana (Mehdi Abeid 60) Romain Amalfitano (Davide Santon 80), Dan Gosling, Sylvain Marveaux (Gabriel Obertan 78) Shola Ameobi (C, Haris Vuckic HT). (C)

Subs: Jak Alnwick (G), Davide Santon, Ryan Taylor, Curtis Good, Mehdi Abeid, Haris Vuckic, Hatem Ben Arfa, Gabriel Obertan.

Goals: Shola Ameobi (3), Sylvain Marveaux (4, 12 (Pen)), Haris Vuckic (53), Anthony Sweeney (62), Gabriel Obertan (85).

Referee: David Webb,

Attendance: 4802 (about half of ‘em Geordies)

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avatar NUFCBlog Author: workyticket workyticket has written 1035 articles on this blog.

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101 Responses to “Monkey hanger massacre! Hartlepool v Newcastle United highlights, post-match interview, report”

  1. 1
    avatar chuck says:

    Whats the story on Debuchy, Douglas and the Dutch midfielder Anita? is Ashley gonna spring for them or are we going to begin the season’s heavy schedule with a small squad (yeah i know we have numbers but not in quality) or ready for the PL.
    Pardew sez he aint worried,(well he should be and probably is)
    With the above players, we can have a bit of confidence, without them, when one considers the strengthening of other sides, pus the Euro games, a couple of injuries and we are up shit creek without a paddle.
    Which does nowt for Ashleys free advertising, as people tend to watch exciting and successful sides as opposed to mid table mediocrities.
    Ah well! balls in his court ?

  2. 2
    avatar GS says:

    Chuck: I agree, we need at least 3 more players. Even Arsenal are spending money now.

    What would be really good is for one of our young players to become a regular, Sammy or Ferguson.

    Worky, sorry for my venting. But, if people contributed and didn’t just complain then I would have better things to talk about :) Not you Chuck, you always get me thinking.

  3. 3
    avatar chuck says:

    Appears Asjleys low ball bidding has caused Lille’s management to tell him to go pound salt.
    Our other interest, Yange M’Biwa has shown some interest but only as a stepping stone to Milan, screw him!
    Soh! what to do ?
    Looks like we are about to go down the list, which could be a ploy, who the hell knows.
    Doubt whether we will sign Douglas, he did’nt seem that interested, but appears we may get Anita and a defender team-mate of his.
    If we dont strengthen at the back, we can kiss next season off and probably have a short run in Europe, both losing out on TV revenue and free advertising for Ashley.
    However, thats his problem.
    See where he bought a ten percent interest in Rangers, should give him access to both the production and shirt sales of a massive fan base, what a guy !
    Probably still nickel and dimeing with clubs with low ball bids, that they must be sick and tired of him by now.
    Ah well, he probably gets off on it?
    What about the possibility of Pardew’s pick Obertan, going to Swansea?
    I think it’s a better place for him, cause he aint been doing it for us, he can take Williamson with him.
    Gotta laugh at the great Man. U. who are being robbed by the Glazers, their Brasilian choice has stated he’s off to the City Of Lights (Paris) to play for PSG as Manchester is too boring, yuk! yuk!
    Think it’s time for Moyes to take over from Fergie (taking his windfall from the recent stock issue with him)as i think he has lost the plot.
    Why Moyes? he’s used to not having any money to spend, the Glazers will love that.
    Who da thunk it ?

  4. 4
    avatar GS says:

    You never change Chuck. Williamson does a good job for us. Look at the games we played without him and Stevie T.

    We need squad players. If everybody was a superstar we would be Barcelona-upon-Tyne.

    I have seen a lot worse than Obertan in a black and white shirt (Amdy Faye).

  5. 5
  6. 6
    avatar GS says:

    I am thinking about getting a neck tattoo. Do you think that will limit my job opportunities?

  7. 7
    avatar workyticket says:

    chuck says:
    August 8, 2012 at 12:05 pm

    “Why Moyes? he’s used to not having any money to spend, the Glazers will love that.
    Who da thunk it ?”

    That’s one of the great myths of football, Chuck.

    Everton’s squad is one of the best ones outside of the big boys at the top. Like us, Moyes should come around seventh in the League with the resources at his disposal, and that’s roughly what he does most times. They just keep moaning about being skint because they see themselves as one of the big clubs at the very top but they can’t spend like Chelsea, the Manchester clubs or most notably, their fierce rivals, Liverpool, to break into that top group, That is a different thing.

  8. 8
    avatar workyticket says:

    chuck says:
    August 8, 2012 at 12:05 pm

    “See where he bought a ten percent interest in Rangers, should give him access to both the production and shirt sales of a massive fan base, what a guy !”

    I wonder if he’ll massively undercut the club’s own shop like his has at Newcastle? Most “fans” are buying their Newcastle United shirts from Sports Direct now, with the money going to Sports Direct, not NUFC.

  9. 9
    avatar workyticket says:

    GS says:
    August 8, 2012 at 2:23 pm

    “I am thinking about getting a neck tattoo. Do you think that will limit my job opportunities?”

    How about something like this, GS?

    http://media.giantbomb.com/uploads/8/80908/2179297-wordless.weird.tattoo2_super.jpg

  10. 10
    avatar GS says:

    Worky @9, Smudger’s brother.

  11. 11
    avatar GS says:

    The former fat man is not dumb. Buying 10% of Rangers will cost what, about 10 pence? With his money and gamblers menatality, I don’t blame him. Isn’t there some restriction on owning two clubs in the same country? Fatty figured that one out as well as we are only team GB for these 3 weeks of summer.

  12. 12
    avatar GS says:

    I am going to start my own little prediction competition with myself. This is who will be relegated: Reading, Wigan, Swansea.

  13. 13
    avatar GS says:

    I have decided the most lucrative thing I can do with the rest of my life is to become a 1970′s comedy script writer. I will write one episode and repeat the same story every week like Last of the Summer Wine, It Aint arf Hot Mum and Are you Being Served.

  14. 14
    avatar tunyc says:

    GS @ 5: right on about the confidence. It’s a counterpoint to AP preemptively “managing expectations”. Good to see there’s some balls in this team. Also good to hear it from HBA. He’s the type of player who runs on confidence.

  15. 15
    avatar DarthBroon says:

    GS @ 10

    You’re right. The resemblance is uncanny.

    This is how he’d have ended up if he’d not been separated from Lee Bowyer ;-)

  16. 16
    avatar toontony says:

    Cheers for the coverage mate. I wanted to go to the game but couldn’t quite make it in time with work and stuff. Good to see the younger players and squad players doing so well but as you say, theyre a league one club at the end of the day. I still think we need to get a few proper signings in.

  17. 17
    avatar Milner says:

    STRIKERS! W e n e e d s t r i k e r s!

    with shola taken a knock, and Sammy also injured, do we expect Ba and Cisse to play every game for 90 mins? and wont they be off to Africa Cup??

  18. 18
    avatar GS says:

    Ba and Cisse MIGHT be off to ACON. They have a qualifier against Ivory Coast first. It means that Tiote OR the Dembas will go, not all of them.

  19. 19
    avatar tunyc says:

    Only silver lining is it might force AP to play Vuckic at forward, where he seems far more comfortable than at CM.

    But seriously, last time we went into a season with this thin a strike force we ended up playing Duff up top…we all know how that went.

  20. 20
    avatar workyticket says:

    tunyc says:
    August 8, 2012 at 11:32 pm

    “Only silver lining is it might force AP to play Vuckic at forward, where he seems far more comfortable than at CM.”

    tunyc, he’s very comfortable as an attacking midfielder, or even on the flank, it’s just the perennial injury absences that have left him rusty. Every time he seems like he’s getting back into his stride at a vital stage in his development, he just gets knacked again and loses momentum. You can’t have a player out for so long then judge him on a handful of pre season games.

  21. 21
    avatar GS says:

    Worky says: “you can’t have a player out for so long then judge him on a handful of pre season games” yes you can. Chuck does it.

  22. 22
    avatar GS says:

    I forgot the smiley smiley that Uncle Chuck likes so much :) :)

  23. 23
    avatar GS says:

    This is an article about Morrissey on a US stock market site. No connection to NUFC, but I thought a few of you might find it funny.

    http://blogs.marketwatch.com/specialreport/2012/08/07/ex-smiths-front-man-morrissey-calls-foul-on-london-games/

  24. 24
    avatar chuck says:

    Morrisey
    Could be right, after all there’s a precedent for the modern Olympics, (which by the way leave me cold)
    Rome’s bread and circuses, especially during Emperor Nero’s reign.
    The UK’s present economic situation, calls for distraction and a feel good shot in the arm, which the Olympics provide.
    Especially in the slew of medals the UK has won, with everyone walking on air.
    The truth of the matter is it has earned the country very little, other than bragging rights and like every excess will have it’s hangover.
    The result will be more of the same,(bread and circuses) talking bout the approaching PL league start, will again distract peoples attention from what really matters, the country’s leadership, predetory bankers, crooked press, bent police system, two pot education system, attacks in the NHS, etc.
    But it’s easier to watch a game of football and have someone else take care of those problems.
    Like i mentioned, not much has changed since Nero played his lute (sorry folks the had no fiddles in the day)and fed them increasingly bizarre spectacles in the coloseum.
    But then what do i know ?

  25. 25
    avatar GS says:

    At least the football can generate a bit of excitment for the masses and even transfer speculation. What else can we do, watch rowing :)

  26. 26
    avatar GS says:

    And Chuck, you know I don’t ever mean to offend you. I am just having a bit of fun. Except about Rodgers, he has done nothing and you put him on a pedestal.

  27. 27
    avatar workyticket says:

    I don’t think I’d go quite as far as comparing the Queen with Gadaffi or Moubarak, or the London Olympics with Nazi Germany for that matter.

    Poor Morrissey, he’s ended up as mad as Chuck after all that time on the wrong side of the pond.

  28. 28
    avatar GS says:

    He was always a bit mad. I remember him on Top of the Pops years ago with a big old branch sticking out of the back pocket or his jeans.

  29. 29
    avatar GS says:

    Worky @27: it is funny though, I can imagine Morrissey in his most sincere voice, with the glasses on, saying all that shite and believing it. He’s a character.

  30. 30
    avatar GS says:

    What I don’t get is these people that grow a goatee to hide a double chin. Don’t they see they end up looking like a c@nt. Literally.

  31. 31
    avatar GS says:

    I am just trying to keep things going for a bit. Perhaps I should just read the blah on Ed’s blog? Where is Clint?

  32. 32
    avatar workyticket says:

    GS says:
    August 9, 2012 at 3:18 pm

    “Perhaps I should just read the blah on Ed’s blog? Where is Clint?”

    You might lose the will to live reading the blogs and comments on there, GS. Well, I certainly do anyway.

    I think that Clint’s in the huff because I may have suggested that he was a plastic Anarchist after some of his comments supporting Ashley’s and Llambias’s negotiating methods.

    Still on the subject of eccentric English musicians of Irish heritage and rather strong opinions who now live in LaLa land, we had Johnny Rotten on “Question Time” over here not so long ago. He was getting some huge cheers from the studio audience.

  33. 33
    avatar workyticket says:

    chuck says:
    August 9, 2012 at 12:53 pm

    “Morrisey
    Could be right, after all there’s a precedent for the modern Olympics”

    Er, how about the original Olympic games, Chuck? :-)

    Or even Dr William Penny Brookes’s Much Wenlock games in Shropshire.

    http://www.wenlock-olympian-society.org.uk/

    Jack (if you’re reading this), sorry, I knaa that we’re straying from the path again, however all the NUFC “news” is complete and utter bullshine at the moment!

  34. 34
    avatar GS says:

    Worky @32: at least most of have them have stopped saying “1st” now.

    Summer doldrums…

  35. 35
    avatar GS says:

    Clint doesn’t seem the type to take the huff. He is probably on holiday.

  36. 36
    avatar AndyMac says:

    Yeah he’ll be on holiday just as most of the UK has been/ will be !

    Just got back from three days at the “Jump Orfs” in Greewich (dont ask !!!) and have to say the Olympic buzz is…… well buzzing despite Morrisey’s whingeing :lol:

  37. 37
    avatar AndyMac says:

    Noticed this from NN

    Anthony Sweeney, Hartlepool’s scorer on Tuesday evening,

    “We got narrow and thought ‘they can’t play through us’, but then the full-backs just push on and everything goes out of the window.

    “You try to combat their formation but then they don’t really have one, they’re just so fluid and pick little pockets to play in”

    So that’s what 4-4-2 does for you ?????.

  38. 38
    avatar AndyMac says:

    Meanwhile the window remains open and Fatman’s wallet tightly closed.

    Remember the close season of 2003 when Fatso Mark 1 chose to sit on the profits from the previous financial year so the “Shareholders” could benefit massively while the squad was left dumbfounded with the only addition of the summer being a freebie Bowyer.

    Lesson to be learned ? Sitting back, twiddling thumbs does nothing for team morale even if it fills this Fatman’s wallet.

  39. 39
    avatar workyticket says:

    AndyMac says:
    August 9, 2012 at 7:27 pm

    “So that’s what 4-4-2 does for you ?????.”

    Didn’t Pardiola gan with a 4-2-3-1, Andy? Big Lad upfront, Marveaux, Gosling and Amalfitano behind him with Perch and Biggie Smalls behind those three? At least to kick off with anyway.

  40. 40
    avatar AndyMac says:

    workyticket says:

    “Didn’t Pardiola gan with a 4-2-3-1, Andy? Big Lad upfront, Marveaux, Gosling and Amalfitano behind him with Perch and Biggie Smalls behind those three? At least to kick off with anyway”

    I was being facetious WT :roll:

  41. 41
  42. 42
  43. 43
  44. 44
    avatar workyticket says:

    That’s what Newcastle United shirts will look like in the future.

  45. 45
    avatar toontony says:

    Haha love the Tshirt! I think I’ll buy one.

  46. 46
    avatar GS says:

    Andymac @36: Morrissey is funny though.

  47. 47
    avatar GS says:

    Bugger, I didn’t watch the highlights until now..

    Who is that Shola guy we signed. He looks pretty good.

  48. 48
    avatar GS says:

    Andymac @43: I would buy one, but it would completely confuse everybody in Chicago. As I said before, they think I wear an NFL referee jersey at Toon matches.

  49. 49
    avatar AndyMac says:

    GS says:

    “Who is that Shola guy we signed. He looks pretty good”

    Perfectly at home in Div 1 :)

  50. 50
    avatar GS says:

    Not from those highlights, sign him for 11 million like we did Albert Luque.

  51. 51
    avatar GS says:

    So, I am now dating a girl who works for Ely Lilly. Should I get some free Cialis to help out? Chuck recommended it.

  52. 52
    avatar irishtoon says:

    What time is the draw at tomorrow?

  53. 53
    avatar chuck says:

    WORKEY
    Actually never got to read the Morrisey statement.
    Not exactly a fan of his, thogh got a son who thinks he’s special.

    Does anyone believe that Bob Dillon, copped Woody Guthrie’s act or what?

    Acually the modern Olympics are closer to Nero’s Bread and Circus’s Rome, though we dont exactly feed people to wild animals nowadays, though i’m sure that if we did , i could find some deserving victims.

    GS
    Doubt if it’s Cialis you need, more like something in the anti-depressant family.
    They have some great feelgood stuff nowadays.
    Like the network ads. around evening news time stating, perhaps you should ask your doctor ?
    And just wanna say, when it comes to fishing, it’s all about the bait and it’s presentation.
    Where subtilty is key.

    Andy Mac
    I like the T-shirt, hell there aughtta be a market for it, providing you dont mind being sued.
    Hell if you could sell enough, perhaps Ashley would retail them for you ?
    It’s rumored he’s not adverse to making a buck.

  54. 54
    avatar chuck says:

    WORKEY
    Just one more thing, can we leave out the “monkey hangers”, “sand dancers” and some of the descriptions of our neighboring team Sundeland.
    I find it neither clever or humerous and very un-pc, ok?

  55. 55
    avatar workyticket says:

    irishtoon says:
    August 9, 2012 at 11:20 pm

    “What time is the draw at tomorrow?”

    Funnily enough, I was checking that out before I noticed you asking, Irish.

    It’s 10 August 2012 at 1:30 pm. However, it’s in Switzerland so I reckon that it will actually be 12:30 pm in the UK with British Summer Time and all that.

  56. 56
    avatar workyticket says:

    chuck says:
    August 9, 2012 at 11:43 pm

    “Does anyone believe that Bob Dillon, copped Woody Guthrie’s act or what?”

    “We are like night and day, he and I. Bob is not authentic at all. He’s a plagiarist, and his name and voice are fake. Everything about Bob is a deception.”

    Joni Mitchell scrathing Bob Dylan’s eyes out. Never could stand Bob Dylan and could never figure out what all the fuss was about even with his lyrics, never mind his whining. I absolutely adore Joni Mitchell though.

    chuck says:
    August 9, 2012 at 11:54 pm

    “WORKEY
    Just one more thing, can we leave out the “monkey hangers”, “sand dancers” and some of the descriptions of our neighboring team Sundeland.
    I find it neither clever or humerous and very un-pc, ok?”

    Bollocks, and nothing like your seemingly endless guff about Britain and the British, which is frankly embarrassing because it so misinformed and out of touch. Have you been watching alot of Fox TV. ;-)

    ‘Pool fans have hanging monkeys as tattoos sometimes, and even elected their monkey mascot, “Angus” as Mayor! (not as bad as electing Boris Johnson though). Just put it down to Northern humour as we divven’t do “PC” much.

    As for the Mackems, as I’ve written before on here, my mates dad when I was at school was a director at Joker Park, and my parents used to know the Vardys too. I met Bob Stokoe (lovely fella) and many of that FA Cup winning team from ’73, I even played with the real FA Cup when I was a bairn thanks to them. So divven’t take it all so seriously.

  57. 57
    avatar workyticket says:

    Chuck, here’s a picture of Hartlepudlian and Hartlepool fan, Jeff Stelling, hanging Angus the monkey:

    http://www.listal.com/viewimage/2843547

  58. 58
  59. 59
    avatar Tripp says:

    Thanks for those links, Workey. Interesting stuff. Love all of the history of the British Isles… particularly the Isles to the west of your northern neighbors/compatriots.

  60. 60
    avatar irishtoon says:

    Thanks worky,
    Cant wait for it!

  61. 61
    avatar AndyMac says:

    According to that august and revered publication, the South Shields Gazette, we can meet any of the following five teams in a two legged affair.

    FC Vaslui (Romania)
    Atromitos FC (Greece)
    Tromso IL (Norway)
    PFK (Azerbaijan)
    Anzhi Makhachkala (Russia)

    The latter being the worst option as they’re currently coached by that Hiddink bloke.

  62. 62
    avatar AndyMac says:

    However if you take a look at UEFA’s site they’re saying :

    “13.30CET, 10 August, Nyon

    For the play-offs, the third qualifying round winners join the 14 losing sides from the UEFA Champions League third qualifying round and further teams who begin their European campaigns here.

    There are 62 teams in total and they will be divided into five groups of ten and one group of 12, with an equal number of clubs seeded and unseeded within each. Sides from the same association cannot be drawn against each other.

    For each group, balls containing the seeded sides are placed in one bowl and balls containing unseeded teams in another. A ball is taken from each bowl and placed in a large empty bowl in the middle, where they are shuffled. The first club drawn plays the first leg at home”

    http://www.uefa.com/uefaeuropaleague/season=2013/draws/index.html

  63. 63
    avatar AndyMac says:

    The unseeded five in NUFC’s group.

    Vaslui is situated in the north east of Romania, close to the border with Moldova and around 200 miles away from the capital Bucharest. However, they played their Champions League game this week in another stadium around 70 miles away – reason unknown. (No visa required).

    Atromitos are based in the western suburbs of Athens and play at the 10,000 capacity Persisteri Stadium. (No visa required).

    Anzhi come from the city of Makhachkala in the Russian province of Dagestan. Owned by a Russian billionaire, Samuel Eto’o is their most high-profile player, with Roberto Carlos now serving as Sporting Director.

    Due to the ongoing violence in the region, UEFA forced Anzhi to play their previous two home Europa League ties this season at the home of FK Saturn – situated on the outskirts of Moscow. (Visa required).

    Tromsø lies in the far north of Norway and their Alfheim Stadium has an artificial playing surface.(No visa required).

    Neftci hail from the Azerbaijan capital Baku and play their European games at the 6,500 capacity Dalga Arena in the city that opened for business in 2011. (Visa required).

    The UEFA guidance does say that the first club drawn plays the first leg at home, but that’s not set in stone, with a range of factors meaning that the tie could be reversed. That’s a long winded way of saying beware of jumping the gun on booking flights etc.

    (Thanks to .com for the above)

  64. 64
    avatar chuck says:

    Workey
    There’s a different kind of humor in the north of England?
    Thats just bullshit and you know it.
    And we divent do PC !
    My point, perhaps it’s time you did, after all one cant go around insulting people at will, when the rest of the world has realized it’s not the thing to do.
    As for meeting Joe Harvey eh! (was never a fan of Joe though his replacement Jimmy Scoular was one of my favorites)
    So I recall you mentioned attending school in Durham (Sunderland territory) and hanging out with the Sunderland manager and playing with the cup they won, sounds like some one was a serious S’land fan ?
    Hope you are not letting the cat out of the bag here ?
    As for my supposed ignorance of things regarding the UK.
    I just rattle a few bars, every so often, when i’m bored.

  65. 65
    avatar chuck says:

    Anzhi or Makhachkala, are a serious side, as stated above owned by a billionaire who’s signed some top players, for serious money, not unlike Man. Citeh and PSG.
    Unlike ourselves, with the lowballing bids and buy cheap, sell for what the market will bear, retailer tude.
    They will be tough competition.

  66. 66
    avatar chuck says:

    Where is “CLINTON” ?
    The sophisticated Batty of .org.

  67. 67
    avatar maze202 says:

    Newcastle are away against Atromitos FC (Athens). Not bad! 4th in the Greek Super League.

  68. 68
    avatar AndyMac says:

    As you say Maze, not bad and easier for travelling fans.

  69. 69
    avatar AndyMac says:

    Would have been nicer to have got Hearts, jammy bin dippers :lol:

  70. 70
    avatar AndyMac says:

    chuck says:

    “Unlike ourselves, with the lowballing bids and buy cheap, sell for what the market will bear, retailer”

    Here you go Chuck summat to set your keyboard on fire :)

    http://hereisthecity.com/2012/08/09/lack-of-ambition-the-3-million-net-spend-of-four-of-the-chasing/

  71. 71
    avatar GS says:

    Chuck @53: will it ever be clear to you that I am just farting around some of the time? Probably not.

  72. 72
    avatar GS says:

    Yes Worky, there is a certain different humour from the North of England. The fuuniest thing to me is that Liverpool have a reputation for a sense of humour (maybe from the Beetles films). BUT, everybody from Liverpool thinks they have to be a comedian even when they are a boring w@nker like Chuck :)

  73. 73
    avatar GS says:

    Sorry about my post @72, I may have stepped over the line. Better get back on the Meds.

  74. 74
    avatar GS says:

    And Chuck, if you tell me to get on anti-depressant medication you might get some comeback. You cant just say whatever you want and pretend it is just the way you are, and say – so deal with it.

    You have some interesting views, but you constantly repeat yourself. At least I try to say something different now and again.

  75. 75
    avatar GS says:

    And Clint is funny and if he decided not to contribute any more it would be a big loss.

  76. 76
    avatar workyticket says:

    maze202 says:
    August 10, 2012 at 12:55 pm

    “Newcastle are away against Atromitos FC (Athens). Not bad! 4th in the Greek Super League.”

    Good job we missed moneybags Anzhi Makhachkala with their Guus Hiddinks, their Samuel Eto’os, their Yuri Zhirkovs, Chris Sambas, Lacina Traorés and so on. Atromitos of Athens should be something like like an upper middle Championship team, a bit like our next friendly with Cardiff really.

  77. 77
    avatar AndyMac says:

    workyticket says:

    “Atromitos of Athens should be a bit like like an upper middle Championship team, a bit like our next friendly with Cardiff really”

    Looking back over some of the topics I missed,

    workyticket says:

    “I’m not exactly inspired by the performance so far. Den Haag should be about the same as Huddersfield, Watford, Millwall, Ipswich or some team like that..”

    and we thumped Den Haag 0-0 :)

  78. 78
  79. 79
    avatar GS says:

    AndyMac: Chuck rants at the sky being blue, so I am not sure if you take his word for anything.

  80. 80
    avatar AndyMac says:

    GS says:

    “AndyMac: Chuck rants at the sky being blue, so I am not sure if you take his word for anything”

    You dont wanna make him angry GS !!!

  81. 81
    avatar workyticket says:

    AndyMac says:
    August 10, 2012 at 3:34 pm

    “and we thumped Den Haag 0-0″

    Aye Andy, they’re about the same as well on my special compared with English teams scale (TM). That was a friendly though, which of course is entirely different. Though we could come a cropper if Pardew takes it too lightly and sends the same kind of teams out to save the big guns for the Premiership.

  82. 82
    avatar AndyMac says:

    If he puts that same team out in a 4-4-2, I’d guarantee we’d get our collective asses well and truly spanked.

  83. 83
    avatar workyticket says:

    Lee Ryder in the Chronic keeps repeating the same thing over and over again about the aborted Debuchy deal:

    “United have already hit trouble this summer in the transfer market having agreed personal terms with Mathieu Debuchy and believing they had come to an agreement on a fee, only for Lille to move the goalposts on a deal.”

    http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/newcastle-united/nufc-news/2012/08/10/newcastle-united-back-in-talks-for-vurnon-anita-72703-31590802/

    And yet it is completely and utterly untrue.

  84. 84
    avatar workyticket says:

    AndyMac says:
    August 10, 2012 at 4:14 pm

    “If he puts that same team out in a 4-4-2, I’d guarantee we’d get our collective asses well and truly spanked.”

    Cheerful Charlie Chester’s back. Where’s Sir Jason Gloom and Doom?

  85. 85
    avatar AndyMac says:

    “And yet it is completely and utterly untrue” ???

    Aye WT and there is no Santa Claus, nor a Tooth Fairy sorry to have to let you learn the harsh facts of life !

    Cheerful Charlie Over and Out :)

  86. 86
    avatar GS says:

    Thank God it is a Greek team, a nice day or two away. That we might have drawn an Azerbejain team reminded me that my ex-father-in-law went there. As a going away present he bought the people he stayed with a cow, and they lived in the city. Not flowers, not a TV, a cow!

    I think that place would make Sunderland seem cool.

  87. 87
    avatar AndyMac says:

    Just heard about the poor girl in Croydon, not so fecking cheerful now.

    Feck the bastad, lets hope he learns the true meaning of “banged up” when he reaches prison.

  88. 88
    avatar jack72 says:

    With the lack ov ‘big name’ signings coming through the doors ov SJP,would it be such a big deal if we got knocked out ov europe in the qualifiers?me personaly would rather see us have another good league season.rather that than a poor season all round wiv to many games wiv such a small squad.dont get me wrong lads i would love a good run in europe but if it means we struggle in the league,i would rather we just used europe to give the kids abit game time n match experiance..

  89. 89
    avatar GS says:

    Jack72: you make a very good point. For what Liverpool are spending on Allen though, we could probably get Debuchy and Anita. I mean, a little bit of investment and we could be OK in Europe.

  90. 90
    avatar tunyc says:

    We cannot get Debuchy & Anita for 15M. Lille want 8-10M for DeBuchy. Anything else = no dice.

    False dichotomy alert @ 88: what’s the point of having Europe as a goal if you just punt it to “concentrate on the league” and…try to make Europe again?! I don’t believe in not trying to win competitions.

    Worky @ 83: anyone with eyes to see such things knows Ryder parrots whatever AshleyCo tells him verbatim. Those who can’t/won’t/don’t realize such things will never ever be looking at, say, the French press to get Lille’s side of the story. Kinda like how AP keeps mentioning that “other PL sides” haven’t brought in players. Check out that piece linked by Andy @ 73. Difference between us and the other teams on the list? We’ve brought in not one single first-team player; the others have low net spends because they’ve sold players for bigger fees. If memory serves they already. But certain people can’t let their gleeful consumption of rhetoric and propaganda get bogged down in all those pesky facts.

  91. 91
    avatar workyticket says:

    We could have had Debuchy, a player who has been estimated to be worth up to £10 million for £6.3 million. But we refuse to pay more than £4.7 million.

    It is interesting (well, it is to me anyway) that the figures are exactly the same as those for Cabaye. We purchased him for exactly the same amount as we’ve bid for Debuchy (€6 million – £4.7-4.8 million) when he was estimated to be worth as much as £10 million (like Debuchy now) even though Debuchy doesn’t have the same absurd release clause, and has three years left on his contract.

    I shudder to think that Llambias thinks he can do exactly the same thing he did with Cabaye (and Cisse) with every top quality target we bid for, even when the players are on long contracts with no release clause (or far higher ones), and their clubs are top Champions League and Europa League sides like Ajax, Lille and FC Twente, not clubs which are facing relegation as Freiburg were when we waited for Cisse.

  92. 92
    avatar workyticket says:

    jack72 says:
    August 10, 2012 at 5:35 pm

    “With the lack ov ‘big name’ signings coming through the doors ov SJP,would it be such a big deal if we got knocked out ov europe in the qualifiers?me personaly would rather see us have another good league season”

    Aye jack, I know what you’re saying, but league or Europe, but when Shola started limping against the monkey hangers, we had two first team strikers. I know that Big Lad is ok now, but even if it’s just for the League, that is scary.

    tunyc says:
    August 10, 2012 at 6:57 pm

    “We cannot get Debuchy & Anita for 15M. Lille want 8-10M for DeBuchy.”

    tunyc, they wanted €8 million for Debuchy, which is only £6.3 million.

  93. 93
    avatar tunyc says:

    Ah, that fancy European money…got it.

    Anyone think we could be the club getting Lukaku on loan? Grasping at straws here, I know.

  94. 94
    avatar workyticket says:

    tunyc says:
    August 10, 2012 at 7:35 pm

    “Ah, that fancy European money…got it.”

    Clowns like Lee Ryder in the Chronic have been consistently taking Euro figures and quoting them as Pounds Sterling figures to make the bids look like more than they really are. It’s a good job that I still have a bit of very rusty French left in my knackered old brain, and have been able to follow this from the French side.

  95. 95
    avatar tunyc says:

    Whether pounds or Euros, it ain’t enough and that’s the same in any language. I don’t understand those who satisfy themselves with “oh well they want too much.” We still have needs-move on to another target then already…

  96. 96
    avatar tunyc says:

    Yep, there it is: Lukaku to WBA and Allen to LFC.

    Very dull window so far.

  97. 97
    avatar workyticket says:

    tunyc says:
    August 10, 2012 at 8:22 pm

    “I don’t understand those who satisfy themselves with “oh well they want too much.”

    tunyc, you can convince enough people of anything if you give ‘em fallacies and bogeymen.

  98. 98
    avatar chuck says:

    Jack 72
    If you want regulars on this blog to read your comments, perhaps you should try english, instead of gibberish.

    GS
    I told you on fishing trips one has to have both the right bait and be able to present it, else nada !

    Andy Mac
    Who gave you permission to display my video ?
    Talking bout the grisly who thought he could kick my ass and grab my salmon !

    Doubt if Llambias actually has much to say about transfers or has any authority to make deals, just an Ashley mouthpiece, same with Pardew.
    Suspect its all Carr and Ashley.
    Now if Ashley wants to go after players in their final year, free agents, or those with release clauses, do it.
    Just stop these obvious bullshit lowball bids for quality players.
    As it ends up we dont get the player, create a situation where both club and player end up pissed, when everyone could have been happy with an equitable deal.
    I mean is this a slow learning curve on deal making, or does this guy reall think he can bulldoze any deal he wants through.

  99. 99
    avatar Kamar says:

    Chuck @ 98

    ‘..Suspect its all Carr and Ashley..’

    Therefore does Llambias and Lee Charnley only go along for the ride?

  100. 100
    avatar workyticket says:

    chuck says:
    August 11, 2012 at 1:54 am

    “Jack 72
    If you want regulars on this blog to read your comments, perhaps you should try english, instead of gibberish.”

    Jack, don’t mind me, just don’t use any very rude words or the blog’s filter might pick them up and put your comments in moderation. ;-)

    Chuck, people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. Your own spelling is absolutely appalling (as is your behaviour sometimes) but people have had the good grace not to berate you for it. You don’t speak for me, and I’m pretty sure you don’t speak for the other “regulars” on here either. I have no trouble whatsoever understanding Jack’s posts, I like them and he makes some good points too. You’re just being obnoxious (again).

  101. 101
    avatar chuck says:

    Workey
    If you have to use abreviations, try and keep them to the minimum, abreviated english is not yet the acceptible
    use of lanuage, just because a number of people use it to save time and money while texting.
    And is an imposition on those who use the official use of the language and just because you think it’s acceptable, does’nt make it so.
    And by the way , you can be just as obnoxius yourself, “Mr. Perfect” tell me when was the last time you admitted to being wrong, thats right, never!
    At least i have admitted (on very rare occasions) to it.
    Afraid you and your ego dont allow for that, too bad really!
    Perhaps you should lighten up a bit, life is not that serious, you just dont get a certain amount of others tongue in cheek shit ! ah well!

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