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Stoke City vs Newcastle United match banter!

Posted on November 28th, 2012 | 136 Comments |

Stoke City vs Newcastle United.
Toon travel to the land of the giants.
Venue: Britannia Stadium, Stoke.
Date: 28 November 2012.
Kick off: 7:45pm.
Referee: Howard Webb.
UK TV: None.

Hello, good evening and welcome to our “match banter” feature for this evening’s game, which sees Newcastle United facing the biggest, roughest, toughest, meanest hombres in the whole of the Premier League, the “Potters” of Stoke City.

Ti say that we need a win would be an understatement, with our last one in any competition coming exactly a month ago, a 2-1 demolition of West Bromwich Albion. The winning goal in that one came off Papiss Cisse’s backside in the last minute of injury time, and we may need that kind of luck this evening as no one else has managed to break the Potters at their Britannia Stadium home in the last 13 attempts.

Speaking in a rare interview before the game, Magpie manager, Alan Pardew, has suggested that this evening might well see the unveiling a new approach, with the Silver Supremo possibly abandoning the scintillating, fleet footed style we had before our two twinkle toed creative fulcrums, Hatem Ben Arfa and Yohan Cabaye, were cruelly struck down by the football gods.

The Grey Gaffer had this to say:

“The bottom line is that as a football team you have problems and you have to acknowledge them, otherwise you will not solve them. We’ve looked at all the problems we have, including set-pieces, and we are going to have to change and work with a different team.

“A big creative force of this team is in the treatment room, Hatem Ben Arfa and Yohan Cabaye are two big players for us in terms of imagination. You cannot suddenly say to a team, start and deliver the type of imagination they give us. So we have to come up with a different game plan to win games”.

I’m sure that the whole of Tyneside will be awaiting this new creative direction from our Silver Supremo with bated breath. But anyway, if it’s an in depth look forward to the match you are looking for, may I suggest that you could do far worse than checking out my extensive match preview which I prepared earlier.

So for now I will wrap things with my usual reminders that I shall be updating this piece with the team sheets for the game when they become available, as well as a list of links for the game, which will not be broadcast live in the UK. When the carnage is over, I will also be posting highlights of the match soon after the final whistle, and possibly a video of the whole match in the fullness of time.

Which only leaves it for me to say:

Howay the Lads!

Team sheets.

Stoke City (4-5-1): Asmir Begovic (G), Ryan Shotton, Ryan Shawcross (C), Robert Huth, Geoff Cameron; Jonathan Walters, Glenn Whelan, Steven Nzonzi, Charlie Adam, Matthew Etherington; Peter Crouch.

Subs: Thomas Sorensen (G), Matt Upson, Wilson Palacios, Michael Kightly, Cameron Jerome, Kenwyne Jones.

Newcastle United (4-4-2): Tim Krul (G), Danny Simpson, Mike Williamson, Fabricio Coloccini (C), Davide Santon, Vurnon Anita, Cheick Tiote, James Perch, Jonas Gutierrez, Papiss Cisse, Demba Ba.

Subs: Rob Elliot (G), James Tavernier, Shane Ferguson, Gael Bigirimana, Sylvain Marveaux, Sammy Ameobi, Nile Ranger.

Poll

NUFCBlog Author: workyticket workyticket has written 1055 articles on this blog.

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136 Responses

  1. paddy power are giving 6/4 that the toon don’t score the neet – i can’t resist having a ton on that one.

    money for old rope.

  2. i just hope what ever tactics pardew has worked on are the right ones carnt see it some how hope im wrong and he gets us a must needed win

  3. Whatever can he mean, will we end up playing a 50’s style hoof it up the middle game, or will we resemble the present Barca. side, all passing & possession football, with goals coming from unexpected players?
    Somehow i think we will be subjected to more of the same and will probably end up with both Cisse and Ba , getting in each others way as usual.
    Niether one willing or perhaps capeable of playing a supportive role.
    We cant continue to expect all the scoring to come from these two, others have to pick up the slack, but i just cant see it happening.
    There’s no Nolan, no Robert, no Nobby, nobody who can put the ball in the net regularly.
    It’s just slip sliding away, got that deja vu feeling, much like the relegation season.
    But we must trust in Ashley and Llambias, those two knowledgable footballing geniuses, they will not let us down.
    We may be in the second tier again next season, though Pardew sez, it’s not yet time to panic, which really means it is, so i’m panicking.
    Where did it all go wrong, people’s expectations were high before the season began, we were going to break into the top four, appears we will do well tostay out of the bottom four, ah well!

  4. “A big creative force of this team is in the treatment room, Hatem Ben Arfa and Yohan Cabaye are two big players for us in terms of imagination. You cannot suddenly say to a team, start and deliver the type of imagination they give us. So we have to come up with a different game plan to win games”.

    I don’t understand this crap. Is Pardew saying that the team were imaginative before but that we’ll have to learn to do without that now?

  5. toontony

    this is the same as it was with all our ‘purples’.

    simply a continuation with a few replacements in there

  6. Thanks for the links Worky

    I m hoping Perch is the word
    I think in terms of character, mental and physical toughness, its his time.

    Let s see!

    He might start Anita but against Stoke!! That could be a v tough game for the wee man.

    htl

    Jon
    nyc

  7. toontony says:
    November 28, 2012 at 7:30 pm

    “I don’t understand this crap. Is Pardew saying that the team were imaginative before but that we’ll have to learn to do without that now?”

    That’s eactly what I thought when I saw it Tony, but I’m still scratching my head.

  8. mattyNUFC says:

    simply a continuation with a few replacements in there

    Well he doesn’t have many replacements thanks to Ashley matty, but it just looks like the same old same old looking at the formation. i hope not though. :-(

  9. I think he has developed a new formation, 4 right backs – Simpson, Perch, Anita, Santon – at least they have all played right back this year.

  10. Is it really 4-4-2? So who’s the other wide man-Perch? Anita? Santon? I don’t get it. Had hoped for 4-3-3 when I saw the squad…

  11. tunyc says:
    November 28, 2012 at 7:59 pm

    “Is it really 4-4-2? So who’s the other wide man-Perch? Anita? Santon? I don’t get it. Had hoped for 4-3-3 when I saw the squad…”

    Gutierrez left, Anita right, tunyc.

  12. Wow. He’s taking shoe-horning players into inappropriate positions to a new level. Anita at LB and Santon at RM seems a more natural fit to me.

  13. tunyc says:
    November 28, 2012 at 8:14 pm

    “Wow. He’s taking shoe-horning players into inappropriate positions to a new level.”

    Well he’s done it with Tevez before to fit in Marlon Harewood. :-)

  14. Phisix says:
    November 28, 2012 at 8:24 pm

    “Looks the same to me, Worky.”

    Well Pardew did strongly suggest that we were breaking out in a new direction now we can’t play the scintillating football we played when Benny and Cabaye were in the team.

  15. Phisix says:
    November 28, 2012 at 8:32 pm

    “The direction looks absolutely the same, so this new direction must be following the old route.”

    I can’t see a huge difference Phisix. We’re still being dominated in the midfield.

  16. The midfield is very defensive. I think we could play all night and not create anything. If they score we’re screwed basically. Maybe Marveaux could add some creativity because none of the four mids on the pitch will create anything.

  17. Looks like I am missing another Partridge Classic tonight…certainly living up to expectations :lol:

  18. We’ve set up to get a point, nothing more. The long balls are less frequent tonight, only due to Pardew holding off that style because he knows Stoke will mop them up easily. Looks to me the lads can still pass the ball. If only he let them pass it more regularly. HBA and Cabaye would thrive when the team is told to keep it on the deck, shame when they’re back and we’re not playing Stoke he’ll get the back line to hoof it again.

  19. Tino was innocent!

    Ironically it was probably Keegan’s attempt to think about defence for once by shoehorning David Batty into the team which may have been the tactical thing which cost us our League title.

  20. I wish we would stop passing back as much to Krul. It always allows the other team to press into our half and just keep their centre backs 10 yards in their half to mop up the hoof. Only Williamson should be allowed to make default back passes.

  21. GingerMag says:
    November 28, 2012 at 9:02 pm

    “Robert Huth’s porno tash is the most creative thing in this game”

    Have you seen Rob Lee’s “porno tash” GingerMag? It’s worse than that one!

  22. “Have you seen Rob Lee’s “porno tash” GingerMag? It’s worse than that one!”

    Alas i haven’t had the pleasure, either way they’re both undoubtedly better than my “Movember” attempt which bares an uncanny resemblance to joey barton’s ‘lip warmer’ of yester-year before he went all french.

  23. GingerMag says:
    November 28, 2012 at 9:11 pm

    “Alas i haven’t had the pleasure”

    You can see it on ESPN when we play Europa games GingerMag. He looks like a Mexican desperado cum porn star.

  24. workyticket says:
    November 28, 2012 at 9:18 pm

    “He looks like a Mexican desperado cum porn star.”

    Such a crude pun, who’d of thought it had place in an upstanding blog such as this.

  25. I checked the score website and noticed we were leading 1-0 and decided to tune in for the last 10 minutes. 20 seconds later it’s 1-1.

  26. I’m done watching this shite I ain’t even gonna watch next week’s game time to paint that room I been holding off fook alan pardew

  27. Tiote has been utter gash all season. His fault certainly for the first. He didn’t even bother tracking Walters. His passing has been woeful too.

  28. Pulis brings subs in midway through second half and rewarded with two goals…what does pardew expect with 5 mins left? No where near enough time for any impact!!

  29. Well this game is done and dusted so may as well air my concerns now as Ranger comes on.

    We play more long ball football than Stoke. Announcer said it himself, we’ve played more long ball than any other team in the Prem this year. Every throw in is a long one, every time Krul gets the ball its hoof and chase…. I’ve been watching for link up play and multiple passes all game and it hasn’t happened. Everytime its across the back Willo hoofs it to no one. I’ve had the City game on, and the difference in distribution between Hart and Krul is night and day… Never see Krul throw the ball, or play it short.

    Jonas looks bagged, no legs, no creativity, no runs. Tiote quite frankly has been rubbish this year, way too long on the ball. Don’t see where the turn is going to come from.

  30. CanadaTOON says:
    November 28, 2012 at 9:33 pm

    “We play more long ball football than Stoke. Announcer said it himself”

    They’re obviously been looking my Pardew long ball probes on here Canada Toon. Before those they were quoting amounts, now they’re quoting percentages. :-)

    It’s 17.9% for Newcastle (1st) and 16.3% for Stoke (3rd)

  31. looking at our next 6 games before January, if we dont get 9 points against wigan, fulham and qpr we are in trouble, and players will be clambering head over foot to get off this sinking ship.

  32. CanadaToon’s spot on. We have nothing. That’s what you get for having an owner and chairman who are not interested at all unless it’s about saving money. Squad has no depth at all. Manager has nothing in his locker to change a game.

    It makes no difference in getting rid of Pardew. They’ll only get another sap on £6.19 per hour and not release any funds to add to the team.

    As long as we float around 10th to 14th they’re happy. But you can forget about players like HBA abd Cabaye wanting to stick around.

    Shite.

  33. Phisix – it’s because we make every team we play look like Barca, we constantly gift teams possession, so it’s hard for any of our players to get involved

  34. Well its beyond worry for me… i dont think iv ever seen such a pathetic excuse of a team for a long time.. the players are there but seem to be somewhere completely different.. and pardrooop…??? Get the f#ck out and take the cowboy and his horse with u! I think id rather be QPR.. least they wanna stay in the premiership!

  35. Seriously think about it… Removing Pardew makes no difference in the long run. Short term it might. It’s like pulling weeds. Pardew’s the weed, but if you don’t remove the roots (Mike and Derek), expect the same results every time.

    I’m looking forward to Ron Atkinson’s arrival next week.

  36. He doesnt deserve a taxi paul… give him sign with ‘south’ wrote on it (cos thats the only direction he seems to go)

  37. Jimbob says:
    November 28, 2012 at 9:48 pm

    “Seriously think about it… Removing Pardew makes no difference in the long run.”

    Do you still think they might give “Big Ron” a call Jimbob? :-)

  38. The improvement from Sunday was immense and we deserved something I thought we were the better side I thought we could have a penalty at 1-0 but two sucker punches have cost us. It’s galling because we’re on this run and we’re having setback after setback and I feel sorry for the players. That team won’t go far short if we play like that. – Pardew

    Think he was watching the Swansea game personally

  39. hardiechar says:
    November 28, 2012 at 9:48 pm

    “Our luck has run out and few of the team need to run out with it!!!!”

    I know I wrote this last time hardiechar but it’s not the team, it’s Pardew. He’s trying to turn cows into ham and it isn’t working.

  40. Worky, I don’t like the Pardew, I think he’s a woeful tactician. But if anyone really believes that we’ll bring in some top drawer manager they are dreaming or haven’t learnt anything these past five years.

    I am terrified as to who they’d bring in. Seriously.

  41. Taxi for Derek – the arsehole who couldn’t comprehend Chris Hughton.

    Could we coax Chris back? That is the question, if he’d even come…

  42. Where is the top notch manager going to come from? Who is there available? Like it or not, the alternatives to Pardew aren’t all that attractive either

  43. Jimbob says:
    November 28, 2012 at 9:55 pm

    “Worky, I don’t like the Pardew, I think he’s a woeful tactician.”

    I’ve known he’s a woeful tactician since West Ham Jimbob. When I’ve written in the past that Joe Kinnear was better, I really meant it.

  44. no surprises tonight. clueless and one-dimensional. even after we scored i didn’t expect to hold on to it.

    didn’t pardew say ranger would never play for him again?

    if he stuck to his word it would least show he possessed principals. as it is there is literally nothing redeeming about the man and while i agree changing him probably won’t make much of a difference in the long run i just can’t bare to hear his nonsense or see his face any longer.

    f-off!

  45. Sounds like he’s a beaten man and knows his numbers up but I agree that we were much better than last week. I also agree that we didn’t deserve to lose it. In fairness look at the options he had tonight. I’m not defending his 4-4-2 long ball crap but that midfield was the best we could field. We have nothing in reserve. But even if we had he’d set the team up wrong anyhow. I’ve been critical of every game because he just gets it so wrong, but tonight I won’t be.

  46. Firing AP would only be a short-term fix. But if this squad doesn’t get motivated fast, we’re quite possibly going down. Especially if key players (remember Zog & Given?) decide they want out…

    Best realistic option is Di Matteo at this point. Frankly, I’m kinda thinking anyone other than AP will give us a bump at this point. It looks clear to me that the squad has tuned him out.

  47. CanadaTOON says:
    November 28, 2012 at 9:56 pm

    “Where is the top notch manager going to come from?”

    I’m sure that Llambias has a reputation in the management community as a great guy to work for now, and as Jimbob wrote above, there’ll be £6.19 an hour on offer to the lucky candidate.

  48. Jimbob-you may be letting him off easy. This game seems a lot more like a continuation of the same problems we’ve seen than anything new caused by injuries or anything else. We’ve scored four-4!-first half goals all season, joint lowest in the PL. And we’ve never won after going behind under AP. In any case, even if I thought he had redeeming qualities at this point I might can him just to motivate the squad. Because at this point, we’re in the relegation fight.

  49. tunyc says:
    November 28, 2012 at 10:04 pm

    “Huh. I say “at this point” way too much. Sorry about that.”

    tunyc, Italian managers always seem to say “in thees moment” too much as well.

  50. I might well be Tunyc. The problems are glaring and on the field it’s down to him. I have been a huge critic of formations, players, tactics etc.

  51. He was playing out the game with 20 minutes to go, hoping we would hold on. If you couldn’t see that by the players actions you saw it when he let that ball go by him when it went out for a throw.

  52. I was talking about it at work today that if we lost tonight he’d be sacked tomorrow morning. Granted I expected a 4-0 defeat tonight, but does anybody think he’ll get the bullet before Monday?

  53. 81 toon_kev: “the players are there but seem to be somewhere completely different.”

    unfortunately we’ve seen this song & dance before
    it didn’t work out well in the end

  54. Jimbob says:
    November 28, 2012 at 10:14 pm

    “I was talking about it at work today that if we lost tonight he’d be sacked tomorrow morning.”

    He’ll probably need some Imodium+ Jimbob as he’ll be shitting himelf now.

  55. What an awful game of football punctuated by one good goal (theirs!) I’m sure it must be possible to get more out of this squad, tattered as it may be. Pardew has never shown any sign of tactical skill. Even when we were doing well last year the writing was on the wall, with some of his formations but this was masked by good squad morale and lucky performances.

  56. I’m lost for words and can’t see a way out of this with the two clowns who are in charge of the club right now. worky well done for sticking to your guns when everybody was slagging you off because you were right all along about Pardew – he’s completely tactically inept!

  57. The really bad news is that the past 4 games and coming 2 are probably the easiest part of our schedule.

    What if we lose 6 in a row or only get 1 point from 6 games?

    I am worried because even when we have beaten Wigan they have played well against us. And, of course there was that 1st half debacle last year.

    There’s a fragility about our team where we are never safe.

    But, Ed said we didn’t deserve to lose so everything must be alright then.

  58. Can’t see him getting sacked unless this continues on into January… even then I can’t imagine him getting sacked after we just gave him an 8 year contract and made all these statements about keeping stability by not sacking the manager all the time. Hope there’s some get out clause in that contract that allows us to sack him without massive compensation if it does come to that.

  59. GS says:
    November 28, 2012 at 10:42 pm

    “The really bad news is that the past 4 games and coming 2 are probably the easiest part of our schedule.”

    Aye GS, we have the two Manchesters and Arsenal coming up soon. I’ll be at the Arsenal game and the Gooner mate I’m gannin’ with will probably be taking the piss non-stop by then.

  60. we actually played better in parts tonight, and in the first half, we looked like we could string a few passes together.
    i suppose pardew will point to the missed chance, as the turning point, of the game.

    i’ve said all along the pardew appointment would end in tears, and it was cringe worthy, some of the arse crawling done by pardew, and the backslapping of the lowrachy, last year.
    people like batty and toonsy were quick to call hughton clueless chris.
    chris hughton is like louie van gaal, compared to the sap, pardhoof.

  61. paulos, december is always a good time for ashley to sack some runt, then he doesn’t have to spend any money, in january.

  62. toontony says:
    November 28, 2012 at 10:36 pm

    “worky well done for sticking to your guns when everybody was slagging you off because you were right all along about Pardew – he’s completely tactically inept!”

    Thanks toontony but I still hope I’ve been wrong all along, and that the Silver Supremo will now emerge like a butterfly from a Chrysalis in his darkest hour, eventually taking us on to Champions League glory.

  63. it really makes no difference if “we played a bit better tonight” or whatever. you can’t judge a team or a manager by one game.

    pardew’s record and style of play was well known before he arrived. even if we’d won 4-0 tonight or if we went on an unbeaten run until the new year i’d still want this clown out of my club because last season really was as good as it’s ever going to get.

    this idiot said, with a straight face, on the eve of the liverpool game that he believed we were capable of 4th place this season. he just can’t stop talking sh*t.

    never wanted him, wasn’t fooled by 5th.

  64. workyticket says:

    Thanks toontony but I still hope I’ve been wrong all along, and that the Silver Supremo will now emerge like a butterfly from a Chrysalis in his darkest hour, eventually taking us on to Champions League glory.

    worky whatever pills youre taking I want some!

  65. Worky: I disagree with Toon tony @117. There have been very few people on here slagging you off. I’ll give you a compliment that they usually disappear never to be heard from again as you destroy their simplistic arguments.

  66. 2 for Routledge tonight…but he wasn’t good enough

    I watch the misery first hand at Craven Cottage on the 10th December – fingers crossed HBA will be back to drag us off the floor – he is a hugh loss at the moment.

  67. GS says:
    November 28, 2012 at 11:03 pm

    “Worky: I disagree with Toon tony @117. There have been very few people on here slagging you off.”

    There’s been a fair few GS. “MunichMag,” “Witters,” “batty,” “Big Dave” that insane Mike Ashley fan to name but a few, though some of this usually used different names later on. There was probably far more before you and toontony started posting on here though. Neither of you have seen the abusive / threatening e.mails and the many abusive comments which were blocked, or quickly deleted on here either hoping that I choked, got cancer or whatever. There has also been a non-stop stream of invective against me, this site and some of the other users on nufcblog.co.uk too, which I take as a compliment :-)

  68. Sammy J says:
    November 28, 2012 at 11:11 pm

    “2 for Routledge tonight…but he wasn’t good enough”

    I’ve been watching watching him very closely Sammy and he’s been better than his replacement, Obertan, especially since he’s been working with Laudrup at Swansea. It’s not so much the goals though as the assists. I’m not sure about now, but at one stage he’d made almost as many as our whole team put together!

  69. Watching on the replay. You’d think we were down 1-0 in stoppage with the passes that they were attemping between the 75th and 85th minute.

  70. Thing about Routledge is he wouldn’t be having the season he is if he were here. AP would chain him to a fullback and a sideline.

    People say HBA is petulant and yeah, I can see that. He also has stones and does a lot of his best work in defiance of AP’s tactics. His absence hurts the team’s morale as much as anything.

  71. Yeah ! watched it on a delayed tape.
    Sad !
    Hey! what can i say ?

    Most of you have read my comments on whats happening and for once i dont want to repeat them.
    We are now in a serious case of extrimis, where radical action has to be applied.

    We are as i said above, slip sliding to-wards relegation.
    No doubt both our “Grey Ggadgie” and both his owner and GM. are not happy chappies.

    As much as i have criticised Pardew, face it, it’s not entirely his fault.
    Though i have criticised his appointment from day one.
    And think he’s awfull, but what about the two genius’s who are self proclaimed orrible people.

    It has become obvious that they are (well Ashley)happy enough to collect the heavy duty revenues, from EPL membership, but not really interested in spending, the neccessary funds to ensure we stay there.

    I think we probably spent the least amount of any PL club on players during the summer.

    Mainly concentrating on kids for the future, that we can either sell of for a profit, or fit into the side.
    Who we are now having to rely on due to injuries.

    Face it , it’s all about making money for our owner.
    Pretty soon if our loosing streak (which i predicted) continues, there will be repercussions in the dressing room, if in fact it hasn’t already accured?

    Following that, our better players will be looking for a better situation, as in our relegation season and we will be back to square one.

    I sincerely hope Ashley has learned from the relegation year and takes early and decisive action, to remedy our situation.
    If not he will be pissed to lose out on the future big time revenues, guaranteed by the EPL, loose his star players, again have to spend from diminished earning’s in the second tier, with no guarantees.

    Basically lose a bundle, from lack of investment, which every dog in the street was aware of, except himself and wor Derick.

    Shows you how the learning curve has progressed, ah well whadda ya gonna do, aint my money.

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