Archive for category: NUFC Match Banter.

Newcastle United vs Everton match banter!

March 25th, 2014 | 494 Comments |

Newcastle United v Everton.
A stiff test for Carver this evening.
Date: Tues 25th March 2014.
Time: 7:45pm.
Venue: St James’ Park.
Referee: Lee Mason.
UK TV: None.

Hello, good evening and welcome to our match banter for this evening’s game aginst Everton.

Once again, miscreant manager Alan Pardew will be restrained in his Benton office, leaving assistant John Carver to handle things in the dugout once again. This time though, it will be against a tricky Toffees side who have won their last three Premier League games.

Recent form.

You can see the recent form of the two teams below for their last six Premier League games (most recent first).

Team Results Points
Newcastle United W|L|W|W|L|L 9/18
Everton W|W|L|L|W|L 9/18

As you can see, in terms of recent form in the Premier League this evening’s two protagonists coudn’t e any closer with three wins, three losses and 9 points out of 18. Could it be a tight contest this evening? (more…)


Newcastle United vs Tottenham Hotspur match banter!

February 12th, 2014 | 253 Comments |

Newcastle United v Tottenham Hotspur.
Bantam cocks vs headless chickens at SJP this evening?
Hello, good evening and welcome to a rather impromptu ‘match banter’ post for this evening’s game, which sees the Magpies at home against Tottenham Hotspur.

I say “impromptu” because I thought I had already written the last blog on here for some time at least, and that the server this blog is hosted on would run out on 21st. Well, to get to the other reason for this blog, it is to keep all you regular readers informed that after intense late night discussions yesterday evening, it was decided between myself and Hugh that the server, including this site, could stay up after all! Things are still the same with myself, ie I’ve been doing stuff on here pretty much non-stop for well over four years now and I need a break to concentrate on other things. However, despite my previous information, the server will be staying up for the forseeable future, and Hugh might even have a bash at a few blogs if he can, although he is very challenged at the moment too so we’ll see.

So now you know! (more…)


Norwich City vs Newcastle United match banter!

January 28th, 2014 | 588 Comments |

Norwich City vs Newcastle United.
Goodbye from NUFC Blog!
Venue: Carrow Road, Norwich.
Date: Tues 28th Dec, 2013.
Kick off: 7.45pm.
Referee:
UK TV: None.

Hello, good evening and welcome to my last match banter!

Please forgive me if it doesn’t follow the usual script but this piece is really just a way of saying thankyou and farewell to everyone who has read and contributed after almost five years of blogging on Newcastle United here.

A few years ago my ex-friend and colleague, Hugh, left the site suddenly. I’ve managed to struggle along on my own since then, but I now have other things to do with my life, and in the last few days, the abovementioned Hugh has also informed me that he’s going to cut off the server on the 21st February. (more…)


Newcastle United vs Southampton match preview and banter!

December 14th, 2013 | 80 Comments |

Newcastle United v Southampton.
The Saints are marching in!
Venue: St James’ Park, Newcastle.
Date: Sat 14th Dec, 2013.
Kick off: 3.00pm.
Referee: Mike Jones.
UK TV: None.

Hello, good afternoon and welcome to my latest ‘match banter’ feature for this afternoon’s game against Southampton.

This could be the last one for a while, if at all. I thought I’d do one last set of matchday blogs though to let all you regular readers know that I won’t be doing any more for a while at least as there are far better things I could be doing with my life right now.

Anyway looking forward this afternoon’s game, one intersting statistic is that Southampton are the last team Newcastle United managed to score more than two goals against in a competitive match. That was way back on the 24th February when the Magpies won a 4-2 victory at St James’ Park on an embarrassing and contrived ‘French Day’ where Geordies collaborated with Mike Ashley in reducing the entire history of one of Europe’s greatest countries down to mustachioed Breton Onion Johnnies and Can-can girls. (more…)


Manchester United vs Newcastle United preview and match banter!

December 7th, 2013 | 72 Comments |

Two teams needing to bounce back.
Two teams needing to bounce back.
Venue: Old Trafford, Manchester.
Date: Sat 7th Dec, 2013.
Kick off: 12.45pm.
Referee: Andre Marriner.
UK TV: BT Sport.

Well both teams go into this one still reeling from defeats in midweek.

For the Magpies, Alan Pardew’s four game winning streak was brought to a shuddering halt after a tactical masterclass in adversity from Swansea’s Michael Laudrup. After losing their third striker Alvaro Vazquez to a groin strain, Laudrup reacted by bringing on Nathan Dyer and using Jonjo Shelvey in a so called ‘false nine’ role. They went on to transform the game with a goal each, with Shelvey also forcing Mathieu Debuchy into scoring an own goal for a 3-0 defeat.

Newcastle United are still roughly where they should be in the league though, seventh. Meanwhile, Manchester United certainly aren’t after their midweek defeat to Everton. The Red Devils thought they’d try a grumpy Glaswegian as manager for a change, but now find themselves languishing two places below the Magpies in ninth place with only six wins from their fourteen Premier League games so far. (more…)


Swansea City vs Newcastle United match banter!

December 4th, 2013 | 128 Comments |

Swansea v Newcastle United.
Swansea: The victims of some pathetic refereeing this season.
Venue: Liberty Stadium, Swansea.
Date: Wed 4th Dec, 2013.
Kick off: 7.45pm.
Referee: Howard Webb.
UK TV: BT Sport.

Hello, good evening and welcome to our latest ‘match banter’ feature for this evening’s game against Swansea City at their place.

Poor old Swansea haven’t had much luck recently. Amongst other things they have been the victims of some of some of the most awful deciosions, and it has usually cost them points, as it did against Valencia and Stoke most recently.

Personally, I think Michael Laudrup needs to be a little more like Alex Ferguson or Jose Mourinho. They know that match officiating, like parking enforcement is one of those jobs that just attracts the wrong kind of people mostly, little Hitlers. They know that there is no point whatsoever in being nice and respectful to them as that will just make them respect you even less, you have to make them fear you. Swansea are too nice and Laudrup and his players really need to start getting in their faces a bit more. Having written all that, I do hope that the Magpies win this game fair and square this evening, rather than having to rely on some dreadful decision. (more…)


Newcastle United v West Bromwich Albion mega preview and match banter!

November 30th, 2013 | 95 Comments |

Newcaastle United v West Bromwich Albion.
Can we throttle the Throstles for four in a row?
Venue: St James’ Park, Newcastle.
Date: Sat 30th Nov, 2013.
Kick off: 5.30pm.
Referee: Phil Dowd.
UK TV: Sky Sports 1.

Could we be celebrating four wins in a row this evening?

If the Magpies do manage to wrestle a juicy three point worm from the Throstles at tea time, it would be the first first time they have managed such a feat since March and April of 2012. Back then, they beat Norwich, this evening’s opponents, Liverpool, Swansea, Bolton and finally Stoke in a 6 match winning run, before finally succumbing to a 4-0 hammering at Wigan.

Although that was in the Spring before last, the side had an unseasonal 4-3-2-1 ‘Christmas Tree’ formation with a potent ‘delta force’ of Demba Ba, Papiss Cisse and Hatem Ben Arfa up front. During the West Brom game in that run I jokingly referred to Alan Pardew as ‘Alan Pardiola.’ The Guardian’s North East football correspondent, Louise Taylor, actually took me seriously and the phrase stuck amongst spme fans for a while. (more…)


Newcastle United vs Norwich City match banter!

November 23rd, 2013 | 79 Comments |

Newcastle United v Norwich City.
Chris Hughton returns to SJP..
Venue: St James’ Park, Newcastle.
Date: Sat 23rd Nov, 2013.
Kick off: 3.00pm.
Referee: Mike Dean.
UK TV: None.

Hello, good afternoon and welcome to our ‘match banter’ feature for this afternoon’s game against Chris Hughton’s Norwich City at St James’ Park.

As usual, I will keep this one fairly short and sweet, as I have already done most of my pre-match ramblings in the Norwich City mega match preview I prepared earlier. However, if you fancied a bet on the game with some great odds available, why not try Betfair? You can also follow events as they happen throughout the game on the NUFC official website.

What the managers have been saying.

Alan Pardew: “We’ve got ourselves in a poised position – now we need to capitalise on that, something we’ve not done well in the last 18 months. If we win we can put ourselves right in the mix. For us, it’s a great opportunity and we don’t want to pass on those opportunities. They don’t come around very often in the Premier League. If we get ourselves in a good place with 50,000 (fans) that’s going to make a big advantage and we need to make sure we carry that through.” (more…)


Tottenham vs Newcastle United match banter!

November 10th, 2013 | 79 Comments |

Tottenham v Newcastle United.
Can we beat two London giants in a row?
Venue: White Hart Lane, London.
Date: Sun 9th Nov, 2013.
Kick off: 12.00 noon.
Referee: Chris Foy.
UK TV: Sky Sports 1.

Welcome to our regular ‘match banter’ feature for todays early kick-off against Tottenham.

To be honest, I’m running a bit late for this one so I won’t beat about the bush. There isn’t much to say that I haven’t written already in my extensive match preview for this game anyway. You can find all the pre match team news, form guide, interviews with the managers and lots of other stuff there.

Secondly, there are all my usual reminders that I will posting all the team sheets and links to watch the game online any second now, as well as match highlights and a video to watch the whole game when it’s all over for those of you who can’t watch it live so stay tuned. I’d better get on with that now! (more…)


Newcastle United vs Chelsea match banter!

November 2nd, 2013 | 46 Comments |

Newcastle United v Chelsea.
Will Pardew give Mourinho a good slap?
Venue: St James’ Park, Newcastle.
Date: Sat 2nd Nov, 2013.
Kick off: 12.45pm.
Referee: Lee Mason.
UK TV: BT Sport.

Of course, the Chelsea Pensioners will be huge favourites for this one, just as the Manchester Citizens were in Wednesday evening’s League Cup clash. However the Magpies weren’t too shabby at all in that one for the first hour or so and held the Citizens to a 0-0 draw at the final whistle, finally succumbing in extra time. There’s no extra time today so will the Magpies be able to keep a clean sheet against moneybags Chelsea this time?

Meanwhile off the pitch, there has been talk of another protest, this time at Mike Ashley’s banning of the biggest local media house from the St James’ Park media facilities. After that, they also banned fans organisation the Newcastle United Supporters Trust from the club’s “Fan Forum.” This was allegedly for having the cheek to take their own minutes of the meeting, though we all know, it that it was really for their involvement the recent march before the Liverpool gane back on the 19th October. Fans have been urged to take one of NCJ media’s local titles, The Chronic, the Journal or the Sunday Stun to the game and wave it at Ashley and his acolytes in the director’s box just before the kick off. (more…)