Archive for category: Derek Llambias.

Newcastle United, Mike Ashley and eternal recurrence

July 1st, 2015 | 335 Comments |

Steve McClaren
Meet the new boss, same as the old boss
Let us think this thought in its most terrible form: existence as it is, without meaning or aim, and yet recurring inevitably, without any finale in nothingness: “eternal recurrence.”

Friedrich Nietzsche – The Will to Power

I quoted the great proto-existentialist philosopher there because it seems such a perfect summary of all that Mike Ashley has to offer Newcastle United fans, in the past, the present and in the future; existence as it is, without meaning or aim, and yet recurring inevitably This includes the humiliation of being lied to and treated as fools on a regular basis, and paying hundreds of pounds for the privilege in many cases. Mike Ashley’s latest alleged overhaul is just as superficial and dishonest as the previous ones, which is why everything coming out of the club must be so strictly controlled. In his hubris, Ashley still hasn’t learned that a Premier League club the size of Newcastle United has to be like Rolls Royce, not Sports Direct. The faces might be different, but the thinking which has taken Newcastle United nowhere is still the same, recurring inevitably. (more…)


Will John Carver be told who to play at Newcastle United?

February 5th, 2015 | 363 Comments |

John Carver
Is Carver under orders like McDowall?
By his own admission, Rangers’ current caretaker head coach, Kenny McDowall, has been told not only that he has no say in the players they sign, but also that he will only have a limited input into team selection too.

According to McDowall himself, he has been ordered by Mike Ashley and his henchman at Rangers, Derek Llambias, to play ALL of the five new Rangers players (Vuckic, Ferguson, Bigirimana, Streete and Mbabu) on loan from Newcastle. Speaking in an interview at Rangers’ Murray Park training centre, McDowall, who wants to leave at the end of the season said:

“When I was given the job I was told players incoming and outgoing wouldn’t be my responsibility. I take the team and coach the team and I am more than happy to get on with it.”

Which is hardly news to both Rangers and Newcastle United fans. However when pressed on whether he was obliged to play them, he dropped his bombshell, replying:

“Yes” (more…)


Bashing the Bishop: Newcastle United, Derek Llambias and the Z-list PR guru

October 22nd, 2014 | 120 Comments |

Mike Ashley and Keith Bishop.
“That’s another fine mess…”
Most Newcastle United fans are now familiar with the sight of Newcastle United’s PR consultant, Keith Bishop, who seems to have become a permanent figure at the right hand side of Mike Ashley. But who is he? And how did Keith Bishop PR get the job despite being a small celebrity PR company that would be totally out of its depth with a large Premier League club? Finally, what does former Newcastle United managing Director Derek Llambias have to do with all this? Below are a few answers.

First to correct a few possible misconceptions from the local media though.

Keith Bishop PR has been described as “one of London’s most well-known PR agencies” by Mark Douglas in local newspaper, the Chronicle. In reality it is more of a C-Z list celebrity PR outfit than a proper PR company like Bell Pottinger, Edelman, Ogilvy PR and others who are commonly retained by top companies, including large Premier League football clubs. Bishop is more like a poor man’s Max Clifford, more suited to representing celebrity has beens and wanabees than a large Premier League football club. When asked by ‘Features Exec’ in April 2013 “Who are some of KBA’s most well-known, or respected clients?” he replied “Newcastle United, Glasgow Rangers F.C., Flavia Cacace, Kristina Rhianoff and a few soap stars!” Other top clients of Bishop are Les McKeown of the Bay City Rollers (he’s still going!), Sven’s ex, Nancy Dell’Olio, Pat ‘the mullet’ Sharp and Lord Brocket from “I’m a Celebrity”, North East Sky Sports reporter David Craig and Gary Newbon. The figures of Keith Bishop PR also indicate it is a quite a small time operation too. Whilst it is true that Bishop can also boast of having Leeds United and Rangers on his books, like Newcastle, they are also something of a PR disaster area at the moment. (more…)


Is Ashley planning Udinese style selling club network at Newcastle, Rangers and Oldham?

October 16th, 2014 | 23 Comments |

Udinese owner Giampaolo Pozzo.
Udinese owner Giampaolo Pozzo.
Is Mike Ashley using Giampaolo Pozzo’s selling club network of Udinese, Granada and Watford as a model for Newcastle United, Rangers and Oldham?

To begin at the beginning though, let’s take a brief stroll down memory lane. In the aftermath of Kevin Keegan’s acrimonious departure from Newcastle United in 2008, an under fire Mike Ashley made a statement. In this, among other things, he attempted to outline what subsequently became known as his ‘Arsenal model‘ for the club. In Ashley’s own words:

“My plan and my strategy for Newcastle is different. It has to be. Arsenal is the shining example in England of a sustainable business model. It takes time. It can’t be done overnight. Newcastle has therefore set up an extensive scouting system. We look for young players, for players in foreign leagues who everyone does not know about. We try and stay ahead of the competition. We search high and low looking for value, for potential that we can bring on and for players who will allow Newcastle to compete at the very highest level but who don’t cost the earth.” (more…)


Do Wonga actually pay anything for St James’ Park naming rights?

July 31st, 2013 | 70 Comments |

Wonga.
.
“It’s a big statement by Wonga to say: ‘We want the naming rights and we’re going to give it back to the fans and the community’.” gushed Derek Llambias.

Alan Pardew also chimed in, exulting:

“Getting the St James’ name back is fantastic. It is a clever move in terms of getting fans in a good place.”

“For so long, Llambias and owner Mike Ashley were associated with taking unpopular decisions (“We started off poorly,” he admits) but the announcement of a controversial deal with Wonga yesterday was significantly sweetened by news about the stadium name.” purred the Journal’s Mark Douglas.

Yet the sums just do not seem to add up. It was trumpted by Llambias that the new sponsorship deal with Wonga would be the club’s “biggest-ever commercial deal.” and when asked if the total deal amounted to £8 million per season, he acknowledged that sum was “not far off.” £6 million of this is going into the main shirt sponsorship side of the deal. As I pointed out in this earlier piece, this is actually slightly below the mean figure of £7.36 million for Premier League shirt sponsorship. However both Wonga and Llambias have made much of the fact that a further £1.5 million will go into the club’s Benton Academy and the Newcastle United Foundation, where Wonga will be getting involved with future customers local youngsters from underprivileged families. (more…)


Joe Kinnear: It’s time for the playground bullying to end

June 25th, 2013 | 103 Comments |

Joe Kinnear - Newcastle United.
Kinnearophobia is really getting out of hand now.
It’s time for this ridiculous circus to end.

Criticism is one thing, but what has Joe Kinnear supposed to have done to deserve the vilification which has been heaped upon him in the last few days? Has he renamed the Newcastle United’s stadium the Joe Kinnear Arena? Has he sullied Newcastle United’s name by associating it with the UK’s most infamous loan shark? Is he swallowing the club’s identity by turning it into a gigantic free billboard for a retail chain so tacky it makes Poundland look like Harrods?

No, he has come in as a Director of Football to help with recruitment and act as a bridge between the football and the non-football sides of Newcastle United, something which might even turn out to be a good thing. Oh! and he has also given a couple of interviews containing some admittedly ill-chosen words since his arrival. That’s about it really.

All the important, substantive things mentioned above, things which have affected the very fibre of the club have been forgotten now in an orgy of blind hatred for one man who caused none of it. (more…)


Has Joe Kinnear made us forget the real problems at Newcastle United?

June 18th, 2013 | 69 Comments |

Joe Kinnear - A lightning rod?
Joe Kinnear – A lightning rod?
Last season seems like a dim and distant memory now.

Things like a sixteenth placed finish, Alan Pardew’s abysmal tactics and even more abysmal excuses have all been completely forgotten. Forthcoming delights such as the arrival of Wonga and all the opprobrium that will bring have been completely forgotten too, all because of a few interviews from Joe Kinnear as Tyneside finds itself once more in the grip of “Kinnearophobia.”

Is it pure genius?

Strangely, the “local” Mirror Group media, the Chronic and the Journal, have seemingly abandoned their usual sycophancy to the current regime, and have happily been laying into Newcastle United’s new Court Jester at every opportunity. It’s almost as if they’d been given the go ahead to be as brutal as possible by Newcastle United’s Managing Director, Derek Llambaisie Llambias.

Personally, I do not share the antipathy to Kinnear held by many fans, and some of the stuff has been shameful, like the headline in another Newcastle United blog which read “Gan On Kinnear – Have Another Heart Attack!.” I’m not as horrified at his appointment as some claim to be and have alot of respect for what he has achieved in his football career in the past. (more…)


Kinnear – Why is there still no official confirmation from Newcastle United?

June 17th, 2013 | 113 Comments |

Uncle Joe: Why no word from the club?
Uncle Joe: Why no word from the club?
Since yesterday evening, there has certainly been no shortage of statements from Joe Kinnear on being appointed as a new Director of Football at Newcastle.

Like his new colleague Alan Pardew, keeping his mouth buttoned has never been one of Kinnear’s stronger points, though even he has surpassed himself this time with a verbal Tsunami of what he is going to do at Newcastle United over the next few months.

However, at the time of writing, there hasn’t been one word of confirmation or denial from Newcastle United.

Bearing in mind Kinnear’s previous, the club could perhaps be forgiven for not arranging a full press jamboree with Simon Bird in attendance to unveil their new key member of staff. However, at the time of writing, there hasn’t even been a small announcement in the news page of Newcastle United’s official website. Is it just me or is this rather odd?

To borrow the words of Marvin Gaye “What’s going on?” (more…)


Newcastle United’s full accounts online and broken down

April 13th, 2013 | 10 Comments |

Newcastle United accounts.
NUFC’s latest accounts: Turnover up, profit down.
As many of you out there will be aware, Newcastle United recently announced their figures for the year ended 30th June, 2012. This corresponds to our second season back in the Premiership which, of course, is last season.

In the last few days the accounts were finally made public thorugh Companies House, and as usual, I obtained a set there to publish online here. You can peruse these at your leisure by downloading them from the link below:

Newcastle United 2011-12 accounts.

Below is a fairly easily digestible (I hope) breakdown of those figures.

Profit.

Profit declined by 96% from £32,619,000.00 in the last set of accounts to £1,365,000.00 in the latest.

Revenue.

Total turnover is up by 5.4% from £88.5 million to £93.3 million. (more…)


How the Wilfried Bony to Newcastle United story started

March 26th, 2013 | 149 Comments |

NUFC Blog's latest blog on metro.co.uk is out now!
NUFC Blog’s latest piece on metro.co.uk is out now!
This is a fairly brief note to let you all know that my latest blog for Metro.co.uk is now published.

Entitled “How the Wilfried Bony to Newcastle United story started,” it takes a look at how a piece on this site extolling the virtues of Vitesse Arnhem’s prodigious striker eventually led (via the Telegraph) to a full blown Newcastle United transfer rumour which even incurred the wrath of Derek Llambias according to the Journal (which made my day incidentally).

It is not a rare occurence by any means, with so called journalists from virtually all the major media organs constantly taking their inspiration for specious transfer stories from the most unlikely sources, then trying to give them a veneer of respectabilty by using stock phrases such as “sources close to the club,” “it is understood that…” or whatever. (more…)