Shearer appointed.

Posted on October 2nd, 2009 | 14 Comments |

Sallying forth
Sallying forth
After much speculation about who will be Newcastle United’s next manager, Alan Shearer has finally been appointed …

… as Deputy Lord Lieutenant of Northumberland. His job will be to stand in for the Lord Lieutenant of Northumberland – currently the Duchess of Northumberland – when she’s away slaying insurgents elsewhere.

The role of Lord Lieutenant was created by Henry VIII in a rare quiet moment between marriages and beheadings and its purpose is to command the local militia in times of emergency (such as relegation).

The appointment means he’s a representative of the Queen and will have to start saying things like “mine wanges werken me full wo“, although in the end Shearer settled for saying:

“I look forward to assisting the Duchess of Northumberland in her official duties.”

The first of those duties will of course be to take command of the Toon Army when Barry Moat buys the club in a few days/weeks/months/years (delete as applicable) time.

What can I say? It’s a slow news day.

NUFCBlog Author: Hugh de Payen I'm a baby-boomer of the punk rock persuasion, currently exiled in Somerset for crimes committed in a previous life where locals keep trying to poison me with something called 'scrumpy'. Hates sprouts, coat-hangers, Cilla Black, ornaments, Steven Seagull movies and 50 Cent (he's not worth 10). Hugh de Payen has written 634 articles on this blog.

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14 Responses

  5. Does this mean that Shearer will have a MOAT around his castle soon……….

    Ah na best I could de for a Fridi like

  8. Apologies to all for the cheap shot with the headline. If it helps I’m thoroughly ashamed. Even the dog ran off and wanted nothing to do with me this morning.

  10. luckily i read this last night on the guardian website so didn’t fall for your dirty trick.

  11. summerof69 says:
    October 2, 2009 at 10:14 am (Edit)

    off topic but why do celtic hate austria vienna so much

    ====

    Probably has a lot to do with the fracas in the 80’s when a Celtic win was voided due to trouble from the crowd and Vienna won the rematch.

    Supposedly a Vienna player was hit by a bottle but a lot of the Celtic fans reckon he made it up.

  14. Completely off topic, but I’ve just ordered a replica shirt like the ones we wore at the Ipswitch game. Not cheap, but the genuine Ipswitch ones are going for a grand on ebay. Ok, so it’s not been worn by a player and it’s not been signed by them, but I’m not going to pay daft money for a shirt! You can get the scarfs too for £6 if you can’t stretch to the £55 for a long sleved shirt.