Ladies & Gentlemen, for your reading pleasure…

Posted on November 4th, 2010 | 87 Comments |

The scene in a typical Mackem home.
The scene in a typical Mackem home.
Most of us are still floating around on cloud nine after the demolition derby last Sunday, and with good reason aswell as it’s always nice to completely batter your local rivals.

So how can we continue the fun? Simple, let’s have a laugh at their misery.

A lot of you are aware that I visit quite a few ‘blogs, fanzines and forums belonging to other teams, and most of the time I go on there with the sole purpose of winding people up. It works a treat, and I was really looking forward to going onto the Sunderland sites, the ones that I’m not banned from, and rubbing a bit more salt into the wounds of their fans. It turns out that I didn’t have to do anything except read their own self-pitying remarks, some of which I have collated into this article for you.

First up I visted Sunderland fanzine, ‘A Love Supreme’. This is where Louise Taylor made her name before being picked up, for some bizarre reason, by The Guardian. Interestingly, if you haven’t read the match report from The Guardian, penned by Louise Taylor herself, you can do so here. It’s quite possibly the shortest match report ever recorded, especially for a match that contained six goals, a sending off and a penalty. I wonder why…

Anyway, where was I? Ah yes, ‘A Love Supreme’. If you have a look on their ‘letters’ page you will see some amusing accounts of events on Sunday.

One common theme is that Newcastle don’t get any credit, which is to be expected really, but one letter took things a bit further and blamed the referee for the entire result. Another one, which I will quote below, manages to get a bit closer to the truth. We have had to listen to how massive Sunderland are for a couple of seasons now, and that cockyness hit them squarely in the face last weekend. They will think twice before thinking like this again;

“Before the match, looking at our team on paper you’d think that there was no way we could go leave this game as humiliated as we did. Frustratingly, for the first time in my years of supporting Sunderland, and like many others, I actually believed that we were going into the derby the stronger of the two sides. A solid defence, a creative midfield and a strike force valued at near £30 million, one of whom had just been nominated for the Ballon d’or. It seemed to me that leaving St James’ Park without at least point was extremely unlikely.”


There are some belting letters on that site describing the pain they are going through, and it is lovely to read if I’m being honest.

Now for a demonstration of outright cockyness, let’s head over to ‘Ready To Go’, which is arguably the biggest Sunderland forum on the net. Have a read of this to watch a Mackem getting egg on his face, and I don’t mean because it has dribbled out of his mouth either!

Alternatively, to see their tiny aspirations crushed you can have a look through their equivalent of our match banter articles here.

All in all it has been a fantastic week for us, and laughing at the inbreeds from down the road is ensuring that the feel-good factor continues.

If you happen to see any whopping comments from the mackems, please feel free to share them so we can all laugh at their misery and misfortune.

After all….

We’re Geordie boys (and girls) and we take the piss….

NUFCBlog Author: toonsy toonsy has written 643 articles on this blog.

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87 Responses

  1. I feel like crying. This stuff is brilliant :). Definitely bookmarking these sites for when a result goes against us, pretty sure it could cheer me up out of anything.

  2. I tell you what though. I’ll give a lot of them credit for taking the flak fair and square. However, there is the odd comedy gem in there to brighten up even the darkest November night :)

  3. my laddie just got tickets for some group that is on at the st/of/shite in june,told him ill pay for the tickets,if he gets caught short on the pitch,
    ive got a deal :)

  4. mate, thank you a million times for those links i am so happy right now. im on page 14 of the match thread and according to their comments nolan just scored his 2nd. the dirty monkey mackems were talking so much shite before the match started about how newcastle will be playing 2nd fiddle to the scum for now on, laughable. i can picture these unwashed bastards crying while typing their comments of pain. i may not leave the house today, may just sit and read these comments all day. once again thank you for making my day…

  5. Aaargh….just had an almighty fight with some peanut size headed manu seems according to them our 5-1 was cause we were playing a small team in sunderland and not cause we played well and when asked why they didnt then beat the same horrible team 20-0 or something and instead scrapped a pathetic draw,the pathetic idiots just say it as a slip up and ask me in return abt the 1st day result.its not nice being outnumbered 20 to 1.i told them to fcuk off and reminded them that i requires big balls to support a team that is not doing too well and it doesnt require any to support what presumably is the greatest club in the world

  6. Deepak – You should know better than to expect any sense out of a glory hunting Manc fan ;)

  7. gets really good around page 25 on the derby thread. the scum start turning on eachother cuz they are so humiliated and battered. this is pure bliss

  8. the goverment are thinking of putting v.a.t.up to 25% on soap in the sunderland area to help re-vamp some run down estates,hope to raise £2.50 by 2020

  9. You are right toonsy,but sometimes they irritate me so much that,i just chelski fan got it properly from me when we were winning 5-0 and he came behind me and started sprouting crap abt really made the others and him sit quiet then

  10. jesus that board is brilliant, they sound like a right bunch of numpties! Turning on each other and that, someone even said nee way was it a pen hahaha mongs.

    And people say we’re deluded! You know what it is, even I said Sunderland were slight favourites, but their over confidence before the match was astounding.

  11. I know a 24 hour pool club in brum if you feel like getting lashed before west brom match toonsy :)

  12. I’ve had to take unpaid leave, got to make it back somehow, my mortgage is enough as it is :)

  13. Gotta love how they slag off both Carroll and Nolan pre-match..cheeky look at prem stats to see Nolan joint top scorer with 7, Carroll with 5 sandwiching “one man team” Bent on 6, pft! Bent for england? More like Caroll/Nolan partnership :)

  14. Jay Toonsy wouldn’t last 24mins never mind hrs, Icedog has spilt more drink down his tie man.
    Jay M+S pork pies take some beating ;)

  15. BIG DAVE dont talk to me aboot BATTY,sold me a case of white rum £30 it turned oot tonic water,rat bag :)

  16. anyone else noticed how the media simply construct reality when it comes to football?
    I mean, before the Inter game, no one was interested in Bale, now all of a sudden, cause he had a couple of good games, everyone is interested, according to them. Redknapp was even asked straight after the game about it, how could the media possibly know straight after the game?
    They make it up and go with it until people actually believe it.
    I can see the same happening with Mancini at City now, saying he’s under pressure, no he isn’t! He has been given one task, qualify for the champions league, which he is on target to do, where’s the pressure?

    Said it before, we need to not only be careful about what the media say is legitimate, but also, and more importantly, how they legitimise what they constitute as news!

  17. Ice maybe thats why he give you the tonic water, he was afraid incase you used the Rum on your scooter and got badly burned. So that would show that he cares about you ;)
    Well young Batty lad hows you, what type of pork pies do you like :lol:

  18. I Love Mike says:
    November 4, 2010 at 8:10 pm

    “anyone else noticed how the media simply construct reality when it comes to football?”

    Football is no different to anything else, I love Mike. The media construct reality when it comes to anything, whether it is football, or coverage of a disaster.

  19. workyticket says:
    November 4, 2010 at 8:54 pm
    I Love Mike says:
    November 4, 2010 at 8:10 pm

    “anyone else noticed how the media simply construct reality when it comes to football?”

    Football is no different to anything else, I love Mike. The media construct reality when it comes to anything, whether it is football, or coverage of a disaster<<<< aye ya right for once wiki worky :)

  20. Let’s see, NUFC conceded 4 goals at home to Arsenal, so what will the genetically mutated black cats have to say if the Mags leak a half-dozen in London & they beat the Stoke Cloggers? They will be back above NUFC in the tables, and the Derby disaster will be all but forgotten, or remembered as a sly trick by Bruce to build a long term fire under the Mackems.

  21. BeeGuy I cant see us leak to many to the Arse I have a feeling we will comeback with a point ;)
    Batty the worms add to the taste mate :)

  22. Beeguy – The derby day will never be forgotten. It will be burning them like a severe case of herpes for some years to come.

    Besides, lets put it in perspective. We weren’t the ones championing our team for “europe” and saying we were at the “next level” and how much of a “better team” they have after thay spent “massively” on “world class” players.

  23. Worky its a bit of a long story mate :lol:

    Toonsy > It will be burning them like a severe case of herpes for some years to come
    Is that what your going to the hospital for :) and I didn’t know they burn’t ye :lol:

  24. Big Dave says:
    November 4, 2010 at 9:42 pm

    “Toonsy > It will be burning them like a severe case of herpes”

    I thought he was writing from bitter experience there, Dave.

  25. TGS – I’ve been laughing at them for days now and realise that some people may not know where to go so I thought I would point them in the right direction ;)

    Dave – I don’t know whether he had the full match, but Magpie_May13 pointed me to where I could get them so it’s sorted :)

  26. Big Dave says:
    November 4, 2010 at 9:49 pm

    “Toonsy did you find out about the 5under1and game file ? was it AndyMac”

    I think it was “pearceet”?

  27. TGS – Be careful on that RTG. They can be quite harsh at times :lol:

    I’m banned off there like :lol:

  28. Worky – Aye, those are the links MM13 gave me. That blog isn’t bad actually. Perhaps we should send the heavies onto his site and kidnap him for here :twisted:

  29. batty says:
    November 4, 2010 at 10:05 pm

    “worky well leaky arse is stu , and a bet ya he still hasent donated the leaky arse fcker”

    Toonsy said he was gannin’ to ban him, batty.

  30. He is still here isn’t he? I’m not giving him assurances, much like I wouldn’t give assurances to anyone else….

  31. I know football is all about opinions…but,

    “…A solid defence, a creative midfield and a strike force valued at near £30 million…”


    Just what do these Mackems see when they look at Cattermole, Henderson and Malbranque? It certainly isn’t what I see. Their only proper creative midfielder is Elmohamdy, but we all know what he was up against so that’s a non-stater ;)

  32. toonsy says:
    November 4, 2010 at 10:21 pm
    He is still here isn’t he? I’m not giving him assurances, much like I wouldn’t give assurances to anyone else…<<<< aye toony he huffed and puffed liked a big kid ,and he still hasent donated ,t0sser stu

  33. BeeGuy-Nothing wil ever change this result, ever. It doesn’t matter what the Mackems do at the weekend or what we do, unless they put 5/6 past us at home they’ll never recover from this. Never ever seen of heard of a hammering like that in a Derby game. There’s literally no plus points or retaliation to a battering like that, which is what makes it so special :D

  34. toonsy says:
    November 4, 2010 at 10:32 pm
    Batty – His choice, but like I said, he is still here isn’t he?<<< think hes on his anual hols ,a week in redcar

  35. I divnt think it’s very nice laughing at the misfortunes of others like lads,mackems are humans too!

  36. ah f*ck it I’m wrong on both counts, it is more than nice and they’re not human, dirty, smelly, inbred bottom feeding pondlife :lol:

  37. I just like how some of them say something along the lines of “fair play, they deserve it”..I dont think I would EVER give the scum credit, especially not for how they play against us. A result like that, they can’t even try to justify. There are no excuses, no silver lining. It’s a straight up thumping from your biggest rivals. Some smelly tramp would probably tell me they’re classier than me for that very reason and I couldn’t care less.

    Was anyone else in the SJH corner/Level 7 or there abouts? A perfectly timed advert containing a group of monkeys was shown at half time on Sky and when it beamed out around the bar on the tellies, the entire place erupted into ‘F*ckin Monkies Heed’, was brilliant like.

  38. I was talking to a lad today on the phone about the match…still with a big grin on my face :-)
    Whey thats me all packed for Deutschland tomorrow…just about.

  39. Ross

    I agree. A lot of the Sunderland fans are trying to play it down and take the moral high ground. You know, the old “We won’t sink to their level” or “Fair play to them. We will still finish above them” sh**e! The seem to think they are 2 or 3 ranks ahead of us.

    They say we’re deluded, yet they are the ones who believe their squad to be so superior to ours. It’s crazy. Considering we were in decline for about 4 seasons prior to getting relegated it is nothing short of criminal how little difference in quality there is between the two sides. They still rely on Bent and lack quality in midfield.

    I really don’t think it’s a given that they will finish above us his year. In fact, I think there will only be 3 or 4 points between the two teams come the end of the season.

  40. Toro-Within 10/15 minutes of the game I said to the lad infront of me that they were resorting to route one football, hoofing it to Bent and it was failing. They couldn’t deal with us at set pieces, anytime a ball went into the box for that matter and that also, was blatantly obvious. with an extra man in midfield they were nullified by the likes of Barton and Tiote to the point it was laughable. They just forgot about the 5 in the middle.
    Titus’ long balls down the flanks, the majority of them bouncing pathetically over the touchline, were hilarious.

    As for the whole “we’re classier than them” argument, daydream believer was played the moment the full time whistle went, obviously met with a chorus of “cheer up Steve Bruce”, I checked the mackem boards that night and that was all they were banging on about, how tasteless and pathetic it was. I personally thought it was fantastic and took great pride in singing at the Thousand or so (max), who had stayed to watch the 4th and 5th go in. The majority of them did their best to sneak out at half time, 3-0 down, game over. :D

  41. Ross

    Mate, that was no last resort, that IS the actual Sunderland game plan. Prior to our game I watched them against both Blackburn and Villa. They have no passing ability in the middle of the park and the central midfield is their simply to apply pressure and win the ball back. Put the ball at their feet and they don’t know what to do with it half the time. 90% of their attack goes through their full-backs who either overlap or play long diagonal balls through the channels in the hope Bent will get on the end of one. They are a skocking side.

  42. Toro-I liked the small portion of fans in the pre match thread that quite bluntly said “take away a couple of penalties and goals at 90mins+ and we are a thoroughly average side”..Doubt they felt much better after they shipped 5 against us. Back down to earth with a serious bang for that lot.

  43. ~ El Toro ~
    I’ve got a bet on at work that we will get 15 points or more away from home and we will finish above the scum!

    I’m still feeling confident :D

  44. Loved the photo with this article. LMAO. Thanks for the links to the Scumberland blogs. Cheers, Jilly Bean

  45. Tend not to gan into places like that Toonsy… it feels like ganning into a gay bar or a blinkin mosque!

    Many thanks to the uploader and to Worky for the link to the download.

    I always had a good feeling about the Sunderland game, was thinking about revenge for the last time we played them. We did exactly the same to Villa as well. So all things being equal, the Arsenal game’s looking canny at the minute! :)

  46. Ross, i agree, they are deluded by dismissing this result as a one off, or a freak, despite their unwarranted positive attitude coming into the game on Sunday, the evidence actually did point to us winning.
    We have been playing well and could have had an even bigger points haul, they have been nicking points here and there and against Villa were very lucky with an own goal and should have had Bramble sent off early on.
    It was all bluff, they are obviously burying there heads in the sand and will pay for it, repeat performances like last Sunday will send them into free fall and some players are frightened to come out of the house for gods sake. ( mind you, they will probably be living in Newcastle)
    Words are cheap, performances are everything.

  47. Bbb-agree completely. Like I said even some of their fans admitted before the game had they not got slightly lucky here and there they could be in a far worse position like. We showed them up and it was brilliant, every minute of it.
    As for players not coming out their house, they’ll all live in Newcastle I reckon. They claim they’re a bigger/better city, why do their players live at our end then? Why do they go out in Newcastle on a weekly basis?, Cisse opened his shop in Newcastle or whatever it was. Sunderland city council even went as far as to use a picture of the millennium bridge with a tag line “welcome to Sunderland” in an attempt to be a world cup hosting city, embarrassing!

  48. Oi Oi Doylems!!
    Am owa the moon the firemen have called off their strike the neet!! It wouldn’t be the same without hoying baked tateys at them and launching rockets at the fire engines! Ha! Ha! Ha! Seriously like, a swear on me dogs eyes that a love the firemen like cos a only dee it so the bizzies turn up and a set off fire crackers under their cars!! Woo hoo hoooo hoo! Pure liberty takers man!!
    Anyways, Big Mick is staying in the neet and is having rave at his ken. He reckons he’s got loads of tac, phet and hundreds of bags of monster munch and space invader crisps!! Proper top bloke Big Mick like . He reckons Dean Gaffney is coming roond and possibly that kidda who was on celeb get me out of here, Joe Squash! A thought they were the same person but Dekka reckons not. He reckons squashy is a pure mental heed on the gear like!
    Anyways, am off to the shop to chore some shin pads from Sports Direct ! It’s great when the bizzie hits yi in the shins wi his truncheon and yi just stand there and smile and say summit like , ” HOO MAN YI PROPER DIVVY, TRY THAT AGAIN AND I’LL KNOCK YE OOT MAN”
    Aal the bizzies kna ave got the hardest shins in the Toon so they gan for me arms noo but am ganna put some shinnys doon me arms the neet and just pure laff at them when they realise am just totally proper solid like!
    Anyways, laters gaters!! Toon ! Toon!

  49. hopefully we’ll be able to beat them at the SOL.we don’t have to whoop ’em with a massive scoreline.1-0 is fine by me as long as we don’t let ’em have so much as a sniff of the ball.and then SKY would hopefully have a panning shot of the stands and it’ll be animal planet!oh how i’d love to see the looks on the faces of the mackems if we do that.