Toon titbits: King Kev, Nolan, Nile and a glamour model

Posted on March 1st, 2011 | 18 Comments |

Chenade, toe nail cutter for Newcastle's Nile Ranger
Look, it was her or Keegan. Sorry Kev.
Ex Newcastle United manager Kevin Keegan has been doubting Pardew will see much of the £35m we got from Carroll, Nolan tried to drink his way to international stardom and Nile Ranger nails a glamour model.

Wor Kev has been talking to Radio 5 and doesn’t fancy Alan Pardew’s chances of seeing much of the £35m the club got for Andy Carroll. Keegan said:

I saw an interview with Alan Pardew where he said he hoped to get some of the £35 million and I thought ‘Alan, you ain’t going to get any of that’.

Well, time will tell on that front. Keegan goes on to say that he’d have sold Carroll for £35m, but he was also critical of last minute sales like that as he’d have wanted to get a replacement for any player sold. Keegan said:

I think £35 million for Andy Carroll … if I’d been manager I’d have taken it.

But how can you spend it on the last day of the transfer window?

My big argument was that we were selling James Milner for a lot of money – probably above the value we put on him – and I said, ‘Please don’t sell him before we get someone in’.

The reason I didn’t want them to put that out and to hold on a little longer was so I could get a good value signing. It’s business. It’s a sensible way to do to do it.

If you sell Milner for £11 million then they say, ‘If he’s worth £11 million, our guy must be worth £9 million’.

Keegan has a point but I wonder if part of the reason we got £35m is because we hung on until the last minute and forced a desperate Liverpool to up their price.

Personally I can’t stand transfer windows, particularly the January one. It’s like telling to a window cleaner he can only buy mops and buckets for one month in the winter and three months in the summer.

I’d replace them with something else. Penguins possibly. No, actually I’d remove them altogether – transfer windows that is, not penguins; I like penguins – and if the worry is that a club would simply ‘buy a team’ to ensure success at the end of a season (or whatever) then I’d apply some other type of restriction to stop that happening. Don’t ask me what right now though, I haven’t thought it through yet and I’m just cogitating as I write.

Moving on, Kevin Nolan has revealed that his attempts to play international football for Ireland involved the drinking of much Guinness:

The possibility of playing for Ireland has been brought up a number of times but unfortunately my grandad and my nans are only a quarter Irish, or half Irish, and they need to be fully Irish

I did try and cheat like Tony Cascarino did by going over and having 14 pints of Guinness. Didn’t work though.

I’m quite fond of Guinness myself and if drinking the stuff was all that was necessary to play international football I’d surely have knocked Lionel Messi off his perch by now.

Finally, it seems young Nile Ranger has been putting his foot in things with a glamour model called Chenade (and I assume that’s her first name – no idea what her last one is). Literally, because apparently he asked her to cut his toe nails on a date. He certainly knows how to woo a girl eh?

Is that really news? Or just an excuse to put a picture of a glamour model at the top of this post?

Actually, the subject of glamour models brings me on to something that gets my goat (he’s a keen critic). Can someone please explain to me why Katie Price is interesting enough to have so many TV programmes and so much press coverage?

As far as I can tell she’s simply a woman that became famous for her large breathing apparatuses and has no other interesting aspects. She so obviously plays up to the media that surely even to dumbest of viewers can’t be taken in by it, yet people keep paying her to plague our TV sets. The world’s gone mad. Mad I tell you.

Anyway, rant over. This is a football ‘blog!

NUFCBlog Author: Hugh de Payen I'm a baby-boomer of the punk rock persuasion, currently exiled in Somerset for crimes committed in a previous life where locals keep trying to poison me with something called 'scrumpy'. Hates sprouts, coat-hangers, Cilla Black, ornaments, Steven Seagull movies and 50 Cent (he's not worth 10). Hugh de Payen has written 634 articles on this blog.

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18 Responses

  1. Sorry…I didnt read a word of that; couldnt pull my eyes away from that lovely young ladies clevage ;-)

  2. Lets hope Keegan is wrong, as this summer could either push us to the next level and be pushing for europe next season (if we miss out this season) or if we dont spend and lose a few players we could be looking at the other end of the table…

    Seems both Adriano (being released) & Cisse (trying to get released) could be available for free soon.
    Which of the the two would you prefer to go in for (if any) with a short term contract until end of season with option to extend?

  3. I loved Kevin Keegan. Loved him….

    ..right up until the minute he walked out for the second time. Please don’t misunderstand me, I appreciate that his position was made untenable (£3m a year to manage a team that he didn’t pick? Poor lamb!), but he seems incapable of talking about football without sticking the knife into Mike Ashley. In doing so, whether he realises it or not, he is having a dig at the club, and at us.

    His latest comments made my piss boil. They sound like the sort of petulant horse shit the anti-Ashley brigade trot out (presumably having consulted their collective crystal balls). We none of us know what will be spent in the summer and I’m getting sick of a so called “legend” taking any opprtunity he can to have a pop.

    I’d prefer it if he kept his vendetta with our owner private and keep his ignorant comments about the way the club is running WITHOUT him to himself.

  4. Davies totally disagree with you mate Keegan is entitled to his opinion considering we wouldn’t even be a premier league team without him in the first place. He is obviously like anyone else talking from his experiences with Mike Ashley. How do you get that he is having a dig at the fans and the club? Keegan has always been a man of principle throughout his career and i’m sorry that you feel this shows that he had some lack of loyalty to Newcastle because I certainly don’t. Your comment smacks of an Ashley apologist who is bitter with Keegan because he won his court case. I certainly hope this is not the case and that your comments are purely based on the fact that you want to wait and see what happens in the summer because I agree with that statement at least.

  5. i dont think kevin would ever lie to the fans,and we have to remember keegan has first hand knowledge of working with these jokers llambias and ashley.
    he is entitled to his own opinion which stems from his own experiences under of working under jabba’s regime.
    talking about boiling urine,this is one of the biggest things i hate about this barrow boy regime,is their way of trying to turn fans against former players and legends.
    i wonder who distrubuted those fliers in the pubs of tyneside about steven taylor being despised at the club mmmmmmmm.. the mind boggles.

  6. well looks like the question of whether nile ranger can score,have been answered.

  7. This is my point Lualua. I want to believe that we are going to invest well in the summer and having a former manager making public his opinion that this won’t happen doesn’t benefit us as a club in any way. Quite the reverse. It’s just more negative press over something that hasn’t even happened yet.

    If it was Allerdyce banging on about it, would you feel the same?

    Keegan is, of course, entitled to his opinion, as are we all. I don’t feel that, having made us a premier league team all those years ago means that he can now come out and make remarks that fit neatly into the Daily Mail’s apparent agenda of slagging us off at any given opportunity.

    Also, I’m going to have to disagree with you on your point that we wouldn’t be a premier league team without Keegan. Who says? You think Bobby Robson wouldn’t have managed us if we were a team playing in the second tier? You don’t think he’d have got us promoted?

    Remember, the turning point in our relegation season was the much publicised and dramatised departure of Kevin Keegan. After that, everything went down hill (Food for thought: We may not have ended up being a Championship team without his help either!). I’m aware of the hoo har about why he left and that he’d been lied to etc, but try to see the whole picture. I think Ashley’s second biggest mistake was to re-employ a manager with form for walking out on the job, just to appease the fans (the second was Denis Wise). You really think that a man with that kind of form, who’d been out of the game for three years and was trying to buy Thierry Henry and Bastian Schweinstiger was going to be given the purse strings? I think Keegan would have to be more than a little naiive to believe that himself. He spat the dummy and did what he always does. I winced when I saw that he’s been re-appointed, and what happened next only proved me right(about both parties, not just Keegan).

    This would all be fine with me, and ancient history as far as I’m concerned, but it keeps getting dragged up, because Keegan keeps piping up about the owner. He has a personal issue with him and he doesn’t mind waxing lyrical about it in public. People always buy into it, because we all know what a cock Ashley has been in the past.

    I’m not an Ashley apologist at all, however, I don’t have the same seething hatred for the bloke that everyone else does, and I do believe that, despite his stupid mistakes, we are now being run pretty well. It would be nice if people, including former players and managers, would just leave us to get on with it. If Ashley’s going to trip himself up again, he’s going to do it without the help of the press, former staff, witless pundits or anyone else.

    In the meantime, whilst we are playing well and seem to moving in the right direction as a club, would it be too much to ask that everyone just butt out and leave us alone for a while??? Especially those who profess to love our club!!!

  8. Keegan is just stirring up trouble, a bit of bitterness perhaps. I’m really not interested in what he has to say.

  9. I think he has every right to speak, and knows more than any of us about what Ashley’s like to work with – but on this occasion I don’t think he’s done himself any favours; it just comes across as a bit bitter. He should take the court’s judgement as closure on this one.

  10. out of context with story but am I reading table right toon could be six from top come 6 o’clock saturday if the unclean and bolton lose since skiverpool don’t play until sunday against manue

  11. Ah, those are not breathing apparatus, they provide physical and emotional nourishment.

  12. Davies,
    eloquently put mate & bang on the money.
    KK lost, no, gave up his legendary status when he walked the first time.
    So if we’re gonna have elephantine memories, let’s proper go there.

    Like DJG said too, ‘i’m not really interested in what he says anymore’.

    Let’s move on from kk, years ago.

  13. Perhaps that’s KK’s way of helping Pardew out. By publicly stating that he thinks Ashley won’t spend the money, he’s basically challenging MA to prove him wrong. I certainly hope he does, provided we don’t waste the money with stupid buys like the past. Can’t really see that happening though. Been pretty pleased with most of our signings since MA came on board.

  14. Doug; really?

    Even when he was suing us?
    Even when he walked out twice?
    Even when he provides negative press?

    You sure?