Newcastle United v Swansea City match preview

821 Responses

1. Hugh, If it was down to Ashley they would all be holidaying in Feathers Caravan Park in Whitley Bay.

   What are we in for then tomorrow?

   Sandie Shaw was off again today and yesterday using the abuse he received at Stoke, Ie the Bobby Robson Chants to try and put out another of his pathetic rallying calls to the fans.
   The idiot was trying to use “The Spirit Of Bobby Robson” to get them through and everything he had achieved etc, And will the fans back the team.
   When in reality he just wants you to leave him alone so he can try and fluke a win which he hopes will have him acting the big man again!

   Sandwiched in between all that guff was more propaganda to shift season tickets in the shape of empty transfer talk.
   Apparently we will be excited by the the targets they have lined up.
   All he is doing is trying to buy time for himself and his lord and master to get them through to the summer without upheaval.

   He was even buttering us up for more of his non football which will surely take place again tomorrow.
   He was praising Swansea’s style of football and how they frustrate you and how you have to be patient zzzzzz.
   So the plan will be sit back and defend and let Swansea have the ball for long periods and also surrender possession to them very easily.
   Stay in the game till the bitter end and hope Loic Remy or anyone else can get a goal for them in injury time.

   I have a fancy that 20 goal Bony may have a massive say on how it goes tomorrow!

2. Nice job Hugh.

   To be honest, I could hardly even remember who we were playing today. My support for Sports Direct United is on the wane every day and I don’t know how much longer it can continue. It’s not even the awful run, it’s just that it isn’t the same club now.

3. Aye, there are lots of reasons why it’s not a pleasant time to be a Newcastle supporter.

4. I’ve summoned up a little bit of enthusiasm now, but that will no doubt be crushed in short order once the whistle blows.

5. Look on the bright side Hugh. If we were born 11 miles away it could be the Mackems. Pardew Out.

6. Worky: it gets to a depressing state when I cant think that we will get a point from the Welshmen. It is a good place though, I lived in Cardiff for a while.

   They have a place named Splott. I always found that funny.

7. That’s where you have to draw the line, Are we following a Professional Football Club or are we propping up a very shady sports chain?

   Right i’m off to start up Newcastle City FC or resurrect Newcastle East End, Oh i just remembered they played in Red And White Stripes ffs!

8. Pardew has now admitted that over half the fan base want him out!
   He reckons he has been out and about in Newcastle and people have more or less told him he is finished here.
   Apparently two young lads stuck stickers of “Pardew Out” on his car lol.
   He reckons he can change the fans perception of him and he will not walk away.

9. Joe @8: it is not perception, it is reality.

10. GS, You would be better trying to tell Pardew that but unfortunately he doesn’t do reality to well.

    I think we should have a debate on the nature of reality and what that word really means, If anything!
    What is Reality?, Does it even exist?
    Is the reality we see real or manufactured?
    Seems to me we live in a prescribed reality which the construct is by someone else, So is that real reality?
    What if you go away on your own and create your own reality is that one any less valid? lol

    The mind boggles lol

11. joe hawkins says:
    April 19, 2014 at 12:52 pm

    “Right i’m off to start up Newcastle City FC or resurrect Newcastle East End, Oh i just remembered they played in Red And White Stripes ffs!”

    What about Gateshead or would crossing the Tyne be a step too far, Joe? You could probably buy it for the price of a Newcastle United season ticket.

    ps Gateshead the football team that is, not the whole town.

12. Worky, I thought you could buy the whole of Gateshead for a tenner lol
    I better take that one back or i’ll get lynched.
    Worky, Could be a goer to go and support the heed but it would also be good to set up a rival club to Ashley to create publicity like Man Utd did.
    Although losing fans to the heed would also get bad press for Fat Boy.

    I’m a bit of a Queen Of The South fan so i might go up to Dumfries and make a day of it.

13. Joe, FC United of Manchester is still on the go so they might say it was more than just a publicity stunt. There’s Wimbledon AFC though, they’re in League Two after starting from nothing.

14. Count Chukula thinks I make stuff up, but I dont.

    I will tell you a story about a Man U fan I met in Chicago. He is an Irishman from Dublin and I met him in a pub to watch the cup final during Dalglishe’s time. There was a big queue at the bar so I asked him to get me pint. He said “fuck off you Geordie c2nt”.

    Next he moved to Colarado and was arrested by the FBI for raping a woman in Manchester at a New Year’s Eve party 15 years before. Somehow they tracked him down. He was sent to Strangeways. His American wife went over there and visited him every day.

    He got his US visa revoked.

    Next, it turns out, that when he was pretending to go and Watch Man U, he had started up another family in Manchester.

15. Newcastle United (3-4-1-2): Tim Krul (G); Fabricio Coloccini (c), Mike Williamson, Paul Dummett; Vurnon Anita, Cheick Tiote, Dan Gosling, Yoan Gouffran; Luuk de Jong; Papiss Cisse, Shola Ameobi.

    Subs: Rob Elliot (G), Mathieu Debuchy, Massadio Haidara, Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa, Steven Taylor, Adam Armstrong, Loic Remy.

    Referee: Chris Foy (Lancashire).

16. Links for the game:

    http://www.wiziwig.tv/broadcast.php?matchid=253547&part=sports

17. Shola! Does anybody have a knife to stab in my eye?

18. ben Arfa is not even on the sub’s bench. He is not injured :) Him and Pards are having a fight. It sort of gets worse, doesn’t it?

19. GS says:
    April 19, 2014 at 2:16 pm

    “Shola! Does anybody have a knife to stab in my eye?”

    GS, remember those totally unwatchable games last season? I was popping stuff like Tramadol and some Diazepam I had left over just to get through 90 odd minutes of Pardew’s football. Is this living?

20. They are going to cut Shola loose and play him ahead of Armstrong? We have nothing to lose except 9th or 10th place. Or Pardew’s job, and who thinks that would be a bad thing?

21. Worky @18: Liverpool last year :) We did manage to find that level again this year with Everton, Stoke and Southampton.

    Pardew Out.

22. GS says:
    April 19, 2014 at 2:32 pm

    “Worky @18: Liverpool last year ”

    GS, I can take that (just) at least there’s something going on ie us getting crucified. It’s the 0-0 and 0-1s where we lose at death against awful teams and nothing else happens the whole match. The ones where it looks more like a tennis match than a football game match the ball just being lobbed backwards and forwards, but never in the goal. You know what I mean.

    GS says:
    April 19, 2014 at 2:30 pm

    “They are going to cut Shola loose”

    Unleash the beast.

23. There’s only a bonus to play for. And half the blasted team will be gone in the closed season so the game couldn’t be more pointless.

    And imagine the bollox Pardew will be trotting out after the game – win or lose.

    Dark days, chaps.

24. I’ll more interested in the reactions of the crowd to be honest. Especially if we concede an early goal.

25. They are showing Cardiff and Stoke over here on the main channel. It cant get much worse than that. Actually, we are worse than Stoke.

26. GS, was it you that was comparing us with Stoke the other week as if that was a bad thing? Stoke have been doing alright and are changing their style a little.

27. When a Newcastle player gets injured now, I no longer see Derek ‘Crusher’ Wright trotting out like I used to. Was he banned for completely knacking the players every time he touched them?

28. Just as well De Jong’s come off. He’s not had anything like a decent game for us yet. I’m wondering if he ever will.

29. Darth, I was watching him before he came here. He was making Cisse look like Messi.

    Bony. I did say…

30. There’s the equaliser. I bet Bony gets the winner as well.

31. worky, it was probably me comparing us to Stokerly – we hoof it like they did back in the day. Pulis seems to have turned over a new leaf though.

32. It’s Mark Hughes at Stoke now, GS. Pulis is saving Crystal Palace.

33. Worky: I knew that. That’s why I said he was turning over a new leaf. As long as Pulis and Palace send the Mackems down I will be happy.

34. Chelsea v Blunderland should be entertaining – whichever Sunderland team turns up.

    They were damned unlucky against Citeh, has to be said. Can’t see them scoring against Chelsea though.

35. Looking on the bright side, Shola has scored. We don’t get the pleasure of a Shola goal very often.

36. Looking on the bright side, we did actually score a goal.

37. penalties?

38. If they let Suarez take penalties then Steevie wouldn’t get a goal and Luis would have about 32 and be sure fire for player of the year.

39. Well that’s it then. Last minute meltdown at Sid James’ park.

    You were right about Bony, GS. He did score the winner.

40. We wuz robbed!

    I fowt we wuz the better team :)

41. That was Darth.

    He’s crazy like a fool.

42. We can’t possibly beat Arsenal a week on Monday, surely.

    Pardew would be INSUFFERABLE if his return to the dugout comes with a win.

43. Pardew is a dick and all that but you cannot legislate for one of your players doing that!
    I don’t think Emnes would have scored to be honest but i will have to look at it again on a better screen tonight.
    Well that was some protest that took place just some owld cnut with a “Taxi For Pardew” banner.

    Tiote is one brainless idiot and is the last person you want to see in that situation at the last knockings of a game.
    Although i thought it was another insipid display by a team who’s manager is under pressure.
    They offered very little in the way of urgency again and the game was played at walking pace at times.

44. Darth, The funny thing about that is Arsenal are a team that can have their slip ups, But if they bring their A game it should be an easy nights work for them.

45. I said before the game Bony would be the difference, That lad is class though and some of his touches are brilliant.
    Were we not in for him at one stage but the usual being the case with Fat Boy not wanting to part with 12 million for him?

46. Ihave the bony m thing in my head

    http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=boney+m&FORM=VIRE1#view=detail&mid=599F8971C2321D952721599F8971C2321D952721

47. Worky – you got me started with the Wilfred bony talk. It is one of the funniest videos I have ever seen though.

48. Do you remember Boney M’s thoughtful take on the troubles in Northern Ireland?

49. Not one of their better efforts and that’s being kind to them.
    Were the lyrics written by a five year old kid by any chance?
    The gadgie who was the singer was found dead in his hotel a few year back, I think it was a heart attack or embarrassment over this song!

50. Boney M are totally insane. That one was as funny as Daddy Cool.

51. I still remember them with fondness from when i was a kid but i doubt this one would have went down well at a concert at The Kings Hall!

52. We should have sweep stake to see what Pardew’s excuse will be tonight.
    “Ah Fowt Marvin Emnes has cost us today and it was a blatant dive and shouldn’t have been a penalty.
    He should have been booked for diving and that has cost us because we were the better team today”.

53. “Ah Fowt we gave an honest display and a performance for our fans and we scored a goal.
    We will just have to pick ourselves up and get a win at Arsenal because no one wants to win more than me.
    The referee going off early changed the game for us and he might not have gave that penalty.
    It was also a cameraman from The Chronicle’s fault because he took a photograph at the same time Chiek made the tackle”!

54. You all know I am normally a bit of a sh@t to chucklesberger but he did say we would lose the last 6 games. He might be right.

    We are totally sh!te.

    Pardew Out.

55. It would have been ironic if Routledge scored the winning goal. He had some chances to shove it right up Pardew for saying he wasn’t good enough and replacing him with Obertan in one of his moments of inspired genius.

56. Bloody hell.

    Chelsea 1 – 2 Sunderland

57. “I fort we didn’t deserve to lose against Swansea. We have had some tough games and some problems with injuries which have been manifested in the situation in which we find ourselves today. But I am not going to hide away from my responsibility, and I haven’t, and I am not going to hide from the responsibility I have to the team because I have to pick them up after that, as you can imagine.

    “At half-time, it wasn’t easy – we conceded in the last minute, and we conceded a really cruel blow today. Regardless of what you think of how the game went, that was a cruel blow to concede a goal in that manner.

    “I am low for the team and I am low for my staff. Sometimes I can sit here and say we deserved to be beaten, and in three or four of those games that we had before this, I have had to say that.

    “But not today, I didn’t fink we deserved to be beaten today.”

58. Worky, You have him off to a tee!
    Well done Sunderland they were good tonight and showed a lot of heart and fight.
    Pardew should have watched them tonight to show how a team fight for their lives!

59. “I wuz pleased with the crowd today, I fort they gave us a platform to win the game and I thank them for that.

    “I am just absolutely choked for them that we haven’t given them some sort of result today.” I think that’s what alot of the fans want, to see him choked but in the other sense.

    “It was a game that looked like it was going to a draw.

    “I felt we played a lot better today.

    “It was a killer goal the last goal.

    “It was a free-kick for us and there was no way we should have allowed that to happen, there were three or four mistakes.”

    “We had two key injuries in the game.“It didn’t go well for us in terms of that.

    “But we had good tenacity in the game.

    “I felt we should have won this game but an error at the end of both halves has cost us dear.”

    “I am disappointed because they’re effort was there for all to see.

    “But we are making errors and we are getting punished for it.

    “We can’t afford to do that on the run we are on.

    “We need to work hard this week and make sure the next three games we get a win.”

    “I’m pretty sure I’d have stopped that goal if I’d been there. (in the dugout)

    “But that’s how it is.

    “When a manager isn’t on the sidelines you miss those impotant moments towards the end of the game.

    “I’d like to fink I could have influenced that.”

    It’s impossible to keep up with Pardew’s drivel.

60. joe hawkins says:
    April 19, 2014 at 7:26 pm

    “Worky, You have him off to a tee!”

    That is actually him though, Joe.

61. Worky, Ha Ha, Aye i have just went to Sky for a butchers and he’s blaming the injuries to De Jong and Cisse for knocking them out of their gameplan.

62. Worky: your wrote : “I wuz pleased” and :”I’d like to fink” You cant say Joe was wrong to think it was a bit of a pis$take.

63. Jamie Carragher having another go at deluded, unrealistic Toon fans who criticise Alan Pardew and make him lose games. You’ll like it, Joe.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2607931/JAMIE-CARRAGHER-Dont-attack-Alan-Pardew-hes-doing-good-job-Newcastle.html

64. He keeps banging on about this one win before the end of the season.
    Does he naively think that one win is going to make up for the rest his ineptitude?

    There was an article in The Mag the other day that touched upon his time here.
    The person writing that particular piece was alluding to new signings made in Pardew’s tenure have just gave him a shot in the arm for a short time.
    They have been like a paracetamol that have quickly wore off then you are left with his inadequacies as a manager.

    The Mackem lass at The Guardian was using the phrase that has been doing the rounds “Pardewed” and you have to say it is right.
    All you have had during his time is long losing streaks which are then permeated by mini revivals then regressing back to rubbish again.
    How long can continue to get away with this con game?

65. Here’s a delusion for you:

    http://newsbcpcol.stb.s-msn.com/amnews/i/64/b05d88f2aeef22c9d98c48148a7/_h366_w650_m6_otrue_lfalse.jpg

    It is a micacle, I tell you.

66. Worky, I like Jamie Carragher but he has changed his tune from last season.
    I have heard him saying things like Ashley is ripping the soul out of the club.
    He was asking whether Pardew had the respect of the players and were they even taking any notice of him.

    He is just one in a long line of pundits who think they know what is going on at this club.
    Pardew can say what he likes because he never has, Never will understand the fans or the area or the club.

    Look no further than Liverpool fans, They play the biggest victims in Football.
    They are always whinging on about something and hounded poor Roy Hodgson out of the club.
    If anyone thinks they have a divine right to win things it is them!

    He’s just another person jumping on the deluded Geordie band wagon without ever asking real fans opinions about the club.
    The whole thing has just become blown up media stereotype which everyone thinks is true!
    Doesn’t matter what blog or write up you see where fans are having their say you will see it crop up.
    These fools are daft enough to run with it and are pretty sad.
    It’s just more crap that is up there with “The Geordie Nation”.

    Right i’m off to drown my sorrows.

67. Does this man, Pardew, get paid about a million pounds a year? And Shola gets about half that amount
    and is therefore paid twenty times what he is worth? I knew before, but now I am certain – the world isn’t fair – Pards should be paying us.

68. I see Cabaye’s won his first trophy with PSG.

69. Well, I hope Liverpool go on to win the title because they are fun to watch. There is nothing left for me to care about this year with NUFC. Mad Alan is (in a round about way) blaming Carver for the loss, which is pretty funny.

    I am enjoying watching football – there are quite a few teams that play exciting football in England and Spain – we are not one of them.

70. Aye, GS. I’m enjoying watching football as well. Just not us, obviously. I’ve just about had it to be honest.

    The run-in for the title is getting interesting and I’d like to see Liverpool do it.

    Blaming Carver for the loss is just about what we’d expect from that rat though, is it not? If he somehow manages to fluke something against Arsenal next week, it will be a travesty.

    The man’s now a NATIONAL laughing stock, and there’s still no sign of acceptance from him that he might be in any way responsible.

71. Darth: the papers are now making fun of Mad Alan. The Mirror and Mail are very scathing. Not that I care what the papers say, but it is almost a “Turnip Taylor” moment when they are just taking the p!ss now – we have sunk that low.

    The Mirror are using the fact that people still turn up to watch this tripe to make fun of Newcastle in general. I will post a link.

72. It was actually the Daily Hate-Mail that was taking the p!ss. That is no surprise, but if you read to the end you will see it is such condescending cr@p that they are writing, not just about Pardew, but about Newcastle people:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2608824/Newcastle-United-soulless-club-The-fans-want-Alan-Pardew-Mike-Ashley-turn-St-James-Park.html

73. Aye. I saw that one earlier, GS. It’s all agonisingly true though, isn’t it?

    As long as chubs can get 50,000 through the turnstiles near-as-dammit, he’ll take the p|ss. He hates us.

    And he WILL get the bums on seats. And the divs WILL renew their season tickets again. Freddy was right when he called toon fans SHEEP.

74. GS says:
    April 20, 2014 at 9:12 pm

    “It was actually the Daily Hate-Mail that was taking the p!ss. That is no surprise, but if you read to the end you will see it is such condescending cr@p that they are writing, not just about Pardew, but about Newcastle people:”

    It’s true though. Geordies lost their belligerance after they were neutered by Thatcher.

75. That’s the problem you have at Newcastle is the scam that was started by the Hall’s and the Shepherd’s.
    You are always going to have this so called blind loyalty because the whole stadium is nearly all Season Ticket.
    People are terrified to throw their ticket in because they may never get the chance to get back in!

    Shepherd and Co knew that from the start and i always remember when they started issuing these tickets for the last couple of home games of the promotion season.
    You had to redeem this slip of paper before you could get a ticket.
    A lot of my pals threw these slips away not really seeing the significance of them.
    You were buying your future place in the stadium with these slips.

    So when they started their season in the Prem the club sent out application forms for season tickets only to the fans who had attended the last two home games.
    I remember it disenfranchised a lot of the hardcore fans who used to get in.
    The prices then went up considerably and a lot of my pals were proper hardcore nutters couldn’t get back in the Stadium.
    It also created a haves and have not’s divide between the fans imo.
    That’s why you have seen the atmosphere dwindle over the years and you have ended up with a kind of Rent a crowd feel.
    You also get a lot of tourist kind of fans in there now who don’t really get it.

    That’s where the loyalty myth comes from it’s just people scared to lose their place and it’s basically a con imo.
    Make the stadium pay as you go and you would see the numbers go down sharpish.
    You would also see a better atmosphere and Ashley and P45DEW getting it in the neck.

    P45DEW has forever tainted himself now and he will be very lucky to get another job anywhere decent after the way he has conducted himself during his tenure at Newcastle.

    He could have walked away earlier with his dignity intact and people would have had sympathy with him.
    He could have wrote his ticket but now he will be thrown on the scrap heap after this job comes to an end.

76. Looks like Moyes is out and the only team he has outcoached recently was us. They have been cursed by a dour Scotsman out of his depth and we have a gobshite out of his depth. The problem is that they will probably get Jurgen Klopp to replace Moyes and we will end up with another out of his depth cockney like ‘Arry or Sherwood.

    No offence to cockneys :) I am sorry, I just don’t think I can take any more blather of the Pardew or ‘Arry variety that they seem to do so well in London/Wimbledon

77. Worky @73: you don’t seem to have lost much of your bellendgerance. Don’t take offence, it is just a play on words.

78. GS, David Moyes was never the right fit for Man Utd imo.
    Just because he had tread water at Everton for years and had a couple of Champions league placings with them was hardly an endorsement for a job like that.

    The cynical part of me has always thought of him being a stop gap until Fergie recovered from his knee op.
    You would have Fergie retire, Moyes to royally screw it up and Fergie in a “Return Of The King” amid a load of razzmatazz and bullsh*t for next season to unfold on Sky Sports!

79. Aye, We would probably end up with Kurgen Plopp or some other desperado!

80. Could we not even attract someone like a Leo Beenhakker who has had some success in Holland and coached some African teams?

81. GS says:
    April 21, 2014 at 4:56 pm

    “Worky @73: you don’t seem to have lost much of your bellendgerance. Don’t take offence, it is just a play on words.”

    Don’t think you can just call me bell end like that you fucking smart arsed little shit. If you said that to my face, I’d have put yours through the back of your fucking head.

82. Sorry he coached Trinidad and Tobago, I thought he had managed Cameroon or someone like that.
    He is getting on a bit now but why don’t we give someone like him a go?
    He is no mug and has had some success and has worked at International level so maybe okay with not bringing his own players in and having a small pool to pick from.

    I doubt whether it would break the bank to get someone like that and he has a wealth of experience, And being Dutch may have some good training methods etc

83. joe, there are a few good managers around. As I pointed out a while back, Fulham were seemingly down and out, yet they got a German legend who had won trophies with Bayern Munich and Wolfsburg. Laudrup’s unemployed. I’m currently watching young Oscar Garcia down at Brighton, a protege of Cruyff and Guardiola who was running the Barcelona La Masia Academy not so long ago.

    I could make a pretty long list.

84. Worky @80: calm down. I was only messing around.

    He has to sack Pardew now though? We have been so bad in so many games. Every time we go down by a goal there is a capitulation. That is bad management and bad coaching. The whole lot should go – Stone, Carver, even Lord Peter.

    Keep Kath the tea lady…

    Laudrup would be good, if only for his perfect hair. Kath the tea lady would soon forget about Pards and fall in love again.

85. What about David Moyes for us? He would keep us up and get us the 7-10th place that Fatty seems to aspire to. I am not sure if I could watch that forlorn roadmap of wrinkles for long though. It would be like having Fat Sam back.

86. GS says:
    April 21, 2014 at 6:56 pm

    “Worky @80: calm down. I was only messing around.”

    You calm down GS, you’re the one who called me a “bellend”

    “Laudrup would be good, if only for his perfect hair.”

    And his lantern jaw.

87. The worst thing I ever saw as a Newcastle United fan was Iain Dowie’s contorted face in the dugout when we were getting relegated. It’s ok at SJP where you can’t see much (though I didn’t see him there), but it was truly horrifying in HD when they did a close up. He makes Fat Sam look like George Clooney. It must have been even worse for the bairns too.

88. I think David Moyes has been found out and although he would tactically be better than P45DEW, I just don’t think Moyes would bring too much different.

    Worky, The reason i brought Beenhakker up is because he might fit within some dodgy Ashley structure.
    People like Moyes would want say over who was coming in and better wages.

    Oscar Garcia might work because they apply a similar sort of system to Ashley in Iberia.

89. “Oscar Garcia might work because they apply a similar sort of system to Ashley in Iberia.”

    He’s a Cruyff protege like Laudrup and Guardiola. Cruyff was the ultimate diva and some of his proteges can be sensitive too. Garcia’s one for the future though. I would have had Felix Magath if Fulham could get him.

    It’s so so hard to imagine anything like that happening with Ashley though. We know what’s going to happen if something happens now, something bad. If he sacked Pardew he’d only do something like give the job to Carver, or make Lee Charnley manager.

90. Worky, I’ve got a nasty feeling that “Peter Smell The Glove Beardsley” might get the gig.
    Would that not appeal to tight a**e and his cheap and cheerful way of doing things?
    It might appease some of the sheep’s heed mob of the fans by installing another “Geordie Legend”.
    It might shift a few season tickets if they think one of their of their own is at the helm.
    That is the stamp of Ashley and we all know by now what he is like by now.
    Plus Peter crawls jacksy for fun and would be another willing dupe.

    It all depends on whether he wants to drag his own reputation and standing with the fans through the mud.
    I have already heard a few calls from a few fans for him to be installed.
    I only hope Ashley isn’t reading any of these to give him any ideas!

91. What has he done to his reputation, Joe? He actually goes beyond the call of duty to get his tongue right up Ashley’s hole, where no tongue has been before. You need a sick bucket handy when you listen to or read a Pedro interview nowadays.

    He’s simple man who’s easy to please though. He’ll be sickeningly grateful to anyone (even Satan incarnate) who gives him a permanent job in football working with footballers every day at Newcastle United, Liverpool or Everton or wherever.

92. I have never before wanted us to lose a match. However, I am leaning that way for the next 3. If we lose them it would be 8 in a row. I don’t think any manager could survive that.

    And… I don’t have any problem with regional accents (except, would those scousers please clear their throats), and please Mad Alan stop saying “fink”. That is not exactly an accent thing which is why at 51 and in a prestigious and high paying job you would think someone would be capable of changing it. It makes him sound stupid, as if the prime minister finished every sentence with “you know what I mean” or “innit”.

93. I saw Shola dedicated his goal to Nigeria. I dedicate all of the games he played without scoring to the second division which is where he will be playing next season.

94. I see Klopp says he is staying at Dortmund. We’ll see how that works out if Man U or Ars*nal throw giant wedges of cash and a 200 million transfer budget in his direction.

    We will throw 20 tat Lonsdale shirts at Tim Sherwood.

95. Remember Pardew’s excuse about the Europa League for a bad run of form last year? Well, we’re not in it this year, so maybe bad management and coaching have more to do with our appalling performances? Sometimes the defence doesn’t look like they have ever been on the same field together.

96. Never thought it would happen but I now have a detached view of anything regarding NUFC. To me NUFC became “Sports Derelict Un united” when Ashley took control. I have gone from the fresh faced kid just after the war who would cycle 20 miles into Newcastle to see the games. In all weathers on a bike the same weight as a modern day small car.
    To now when I wouldn’t cross the street to see Pardews rubbish even if they paid me.
    I have at last broken that tie which holds supporters to their clubs.
    This post being my final act as the Blog holds no interest for me anymore. Not because of Chuck but others who regard me as a humourless fool without the ability of rational thought.
    As someone once said “Free free at last”.

97. GS says:
    April 22, 2014 at 1:07 pm

    “If we lose them it would be 8 in a row. I don’t think any manager could survive that.”

    He has the banning excuse, even though it was his own fault for headbutting.

98. Nutmag says:
    April 22, 2014 at 3:43 pm

    “This post being my final act as the Blog holds no interest for me anymore. Not because of Chuck but others who regard me as a humourless fool without the ability of rational thought.”

    Sorry to hear that but it was one or two comments from one user said in the heat of the moment and you were saying stuff as well, Nutmag. As for Chuck, he was saying that one of my friends who he’s never met was a neo-nazi just because he is Ukrainian. I was sick of his bigoted nasty slurs on here. He did it once too often.

99. Nutmag, Who has been giving you stick?

    I’m nearly there myself with the club these days, Any joy that i had in the past has all but evaporated.
    Ashley has crushed the life out of everything to do with Newcastle United.

    Worky, His reputation has taken a hit with his constant a**ecrawling but he still maintains a degree of respect.
    It would remain to be seen whether he would want to go fully down the P45DEW road and alienate himself altogether.
    I wonder if he would have the bottle to step up to the top job and take the undoubted stick he would receive if he dances with the devil?
    I mean P45DEW can do one back down to London while Quasimodo still lives here with the “Lovely Sandra”!

100. Don’t mention Kathy Secker.

101. No doubt he will be “Obviously Delighted”, It winds me up that after all the interviews he has done over the years he still hasn’t changed his patter.
     Every time you hear him on he utters those words, I don’t think i have seen an interview yet where he hasn’t uttered the magic words.

102. Worky, I remember hearing about the rumours of Kathy Secker although i don’t know what she saw in him.
     It just goes to show you how funny women are when going for blokes.
     I have heard Sandra is a nightmare of a woman and a trouble maker.
     You just got to look at her face she looks like a right ball breaker!

103. WORKY

     You are not only a bully (hiding behind a key board)but a liar to boot, show me where I called anyone a neo-Nazi.
     Personally I doubt if you actually have any friends, never mind Ukrainians, being you spend your life on this blog.
     Your a sad case.

104. Afternoon chaps : )

105. chuck says:
     April 22, 2014 at 7:01 pm

     “show me where I called anyone a neo-Nazi.”

     Here you go, Chuck, a sample

     “Plus acting all hurt by my suggestion, that your friend/s from western Ukraine may be politically neo fascist, what’s surprising about that, if you are not aware that the majority are, then don’t waste my time discussing the matter.”

     chuck says: April 9, 2014 at 8:12 pm

     “Perhaps you should stop listening to your neo-fascist Ukrainian so called friends, who if neo fascist , would undoubtedly deny both it and any agenda they might have.”

     “As for those fu***ng Cossak’s, they are just doing what they have always done, beat up on innocent’s.”

     “There was an incident where following the end of WW11, those Cossacks who had joined the Nazi side to fight against their own people and had surrendered to allied forces in Austria.”

     “Ended up in camps supervised by the British Army, who at the request of the USSR handed them over to the Soviets.”

     “Which resulted in most cases, their being shot, poetic justice perhaps.”

     “But it looks like a few survived, to once again continue to do their job of beating up on their own people.”

     chuck says:
     April 9, 2014 at 4:53 pm

     “The present problems arises from actions by the neo fascist groups in western Ukraine

     There’s more if you want it Chuck? Your view that you regret that a whole group of people weren’t wiped out completely is repugnant in the extreme. No normal site is going to tolerate that kind of racist sh*t. You belong on a race hate site somewhere with that kind of patter.

106. Afternoon SJT.

107. Hey Worky: I know you shouldn’t have to, but why don’t you delete some of Chuck’s inflammatory comments? You know I wind him up and he doesn’t like me, but some of his observations on football are interesting. His aggressive way of writing is why I give him stick, not so much what he says about football.

     Everything is black and white with him, Ukraine, Kenya, Rodgers. There are never any nuances, which we all know there are usually with everything.

     I thought you had banned him?

108. Shola’s spoken out on the lack of investment in the squad (albeit very mildly).

     http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/shola-ameobi-accuses-magpies-chiefs-7023585

     http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2611198/Shola-Ameobi-calls-Newcastle-bosses-right-limited-resources-Alan-Pardews-United-squad.html

     If there was any doubt he’d be leaving in the summer, I think that confirms it.

109. As I expected you put together a number of my statements , which are historically true, in a manner (out of context) that supposedly portrays me as a racist.

     The fact is Cossacks have always been used as oppressors
     by Russia and did join and fight alongside the Germans during WW11.

     As did the Rumanians, the Spanish, Italians, Fins and many more volunteers from various European countries, h including the Ukraine.

     Now Germany has achieved it’s goal, without spilling a drop of blood, through an economic dominance of Europe and setting it’s rules.

     Whether the final fate of those Cossacks handed over by the British army in whose custody they were, was deserved or not, is not for me to say, but it could have been avoided had the Brit’s refused to hand them over to the Soviets.

     Just another political decision, one of many made by the victors.
     .
     But nowhere could you find any statement where I called anyone a neo-Nazi, neo fascist yes! and I am not the only one who is aware that Western Ukraine has a large neo-fascist population, something you are also aware of but refuse to admit too, either that or you obviously don’t understand what’s going on.

     Which is it ?

     I did however get a kick outta your threat to “GS”, what was it again, you were going to put your fist through his head or something, c’mn guy, grow up FFS, we all know you can hardly get out of your chair.
     And give my regards to your non existing Ukrainian friends.

110. Darth: is it stating the obvious that if we had splashed a bit of cash for the likes of Bony then Shola wouldn’t get near the team? Same with Taylor if we had decent defensive cover. Then again, I may be underestimating Pardew’s stupidity again.

111. Did anyone see any of Don Hutchinson’s articles?
     They are pretty damning against Ashley, Pardew etc
     He is right though when he says if Ashley really cared about Newcastle he wouldn’t have ever employed Pardew.

     I know he has been a bit of a glebe and a mercenary when he played a la kissing the badge at Sunderland, But you cannot argue with that honesty.

112. I’m sure Shola would have been moved on some time ago if there’d been any commitment to building a quality balanced side, GS.

     As for the lad himself: He knows his days are numbered and he’s basically said what we all know (albeit a lot more politely than we’d have liked).

     The depressing thing is: Even if there is a significant amount of money for new signings – who’s daft/desperate enough to want to come? The state of the club is common knowledge.

113. I think the only time Shola was ever involved in anything meaningful at the club was when Bobby Robson was there.
     He was young and had some potential plus the European games suited his languid style.

     It says it all really when he has been bottom of the pecking order for much of his career.
     He has had injuries to deal with but it is also no surprise he has had a lot more involvement during Ashley’s tenure.

     It does seem now that the lad is now just synonymous with failure.
     Unfortunately for him he has become the mascot of failure and doom and gloom.
     When the club is at a low ebb or going through a bad time he is always there with one of his empty rallying cries or sound bites on the back of abject misery.
     Along with David Craig you know things are bad when you hear from them.
     They are like the harbingers of doom and you know bad things will follow when you see or hear from them.

     It is coming to something at any club when a forgotten washed up pro is at the fore front of your club.
     It really just represents a yard stick of how far your club has fallen and it is a shame for Shola to be part of an unwanted legacy.

     Apart from his early good European form and his “Mackem Slayer” title there is not much else to write home about in his career.
     Although he is a minority of Geordies who have that distinction of having scored in Derby Games so you cannot take that away from him.

     I thought he may have blagged another years extension to his contract but i fear he has now p***ed that chance away by his criticism of Ashley and his regime.
     We all know what happens when Ashley throws his toys out of the pram!

114. I think that pretty much sums things up, Joe. Although you’d have to say he’s had some pretty bad luck with regard to the injuries.

     He was having a great run in the side as we tried to bounce back after chubs managed to get us relegated – not the top flight, obviously, but he was finding the net better than anyone else in the side, and he scored some good goals until he picked up that foot injury.

     I wish he hadn’t qualified his appeal to Ashley by expressing his support for Pardew. As we all know, it’s misplaced.

115. Darth, Decent bloke who has the club at heart but if we were successful he wouldn’t be here.
     Has definitely had a nightmare with injuries which have hindered him.
     I think big lads like him always tend to not make good athletes.

     You only have to look at Andy Carroll, Duncan Ferguson, Carl Cort etc, They all tend to be fragile and spend their time lying on treatment tables.
     All unplayable on their day but those days are few and far between with all the niggles unfortunately.

     I wonder if he has been told he has no future here with the timing of his criticism of the regime?
     Yesterday it looked like he was talking about the possibility of penning a new deal.

116. I wouldn’t mind seeing him go to help out the Boro next season.
     He could still have something to offer in The Championship and they used to call him “Coca Shola”, Plus he wouldn’t have to move home either.

     Dare i say it, Could Sunderland take a chance on him if they go down.
     It is a long shot i know but he could then go under the moniker of “Shola The Mackem Player”!

     No doubt they would be in the grip of a fire sale with mercenaries like Larsson et al deserting the sinking ship.
     They will be looking to save a few bob and he could forge a partnership with Connor Whickham who would be retained no doubt.

117. Could a shellacking by Arsenal be the final nail in Pardew’s coffin? Ashley has joined the board and he could call an emergency board meeting in a London Hotel (we know he hardly ever makes a home game) before heading off to the Casino.

     Is Pardew’s touchline ban over? I hope so because I don’t want that ridiculous excuse for our losses/hammerings used again. Bony wouldn’t have scored with Pardew in the dugout, please! What a joke.

     Quite apart from the fact that it makes no sense, it is also an indictment of his choice of head coach. I think I might have said that before, but it is worth repeating.

118. Would anybody want Moyes. Over Pardew, yes, but is Moyes broken?

119. GS, Podolski will get two or three, Ramsay will get one, And Giroud will get one and Santi Cazorla with a free kick
     5 or 6 nowt nee danger lol.

120. Joe: If Arsenal score first and early it could be a slaughter. Other teams must know by now that when we have to chase a game we leave massive holes at the back and OUR usual output when doing this is nil.

     When we go down, and the midfield pushes up, it exposes how slow our center backs are. Coloccini, Williamson, and Taylor must be the slowest out there. And M’Biwa isn’t that quick either.

     You might want to have a fiver on the 5 or 6 nil. The bookies might have clicked that our score is usually nil so the odds will be about evens for both these scores. A 2-2 should be higher odds.

121. GS. Pardew will be back in the dugout for the Arsenal game (unless he attacks someone else before then, obviously).

     As I’ve said before, he would see a win at Arsenal as complete redemption. I would see it as a step towards a cheeky useless cnut getting a bonus he doesn’t deserve. I hope Arsenal get a hatfull.

     Re Moyes – he doesn’t have the qualifications. He has a spine.

122. I forgot Pardew was back in the dugout, Well that is huge relief as we will go on to win the match.
     As we all know now Alan has super powers where he can stop players from scoring goals.
     Marvin Emnes would have never got that penalty if Pardew was there, According to “The Special Needs One”!

     I am starting to believe he has that ability myself, The trouble is it works in reverse!
     He actually only succeeds in stopping his own players from scoring lol.

123. Oh i forgot to mention that Alan’s Super powers don’t stop there.
     Apparently he always protects our club by inviting bids for our best players during a transfer window, And subsequently lets Ashley sell the players and weaken the squad in the process.

     That is some level of protection that he provides for us, I wonder when he is going to break out his cape and undercrackers?

124. joe hawkins says:
     April 25, 2014 at 1:40 pm

     “Apparently he always protects our club by inviting bids for our best players during a transfer window”

     That’s how I see Pardew, as a window salesman, or car salesman or footballer salesman or something like that. I can just imagine him driving along in his his Focus or Mondeo blathering into his mobile headset.

125. Worky, He even dresses like a salesman with his dodgy ties and suits.

     How did Chuck manage to get himself back on the blog, Did he get around the security?

126. joe hawkins says:
     April 25, 2014 at 10:13 pm

     “How did Chuck manage to get himself back on the blog, Did he get around the security?”

     Joe, I didn’t ban him by blocking all his IPs and such, I just told him to apologise for his bigoted slur on my friends or not to bother coming back. If he becomes a problem, then I will deal with him.

127. Worky, I have had a look back at his comments and he is “Bang To Rights”!
     He cannot have any arguments with that although i have never seen him come out with anything like that before.
     It is there in black and white his assumption that all Ukrainians are fascist.
     It’s up there with saying all Romany people are thieves etc, And you cannot have that.

     I like chuck he is okay but he should just bite the bullet on that one and take it back.

128. Well, with Pards back on the bench, I wonder what his excuses will be this week:

     “it was the speculation about my job wot affected the players”?

129. Joe
     thanks for the endorsement, also a thanks to “Nutmag” for his support.
     But it will be a cold day in hell before I apologize for arguing a point, that I still believe is valid.
     And to be honest, I really don’t have a lot of interest, as it’s becoming a bit boring, so this will probably be my last post here.

130. GS, He must know that everyone is laughing at the excuses, and yet he can’t stop. He’s completely out of control. It’s a compulsion.

     Even when he tries and starts off with something like “Sometimes you’ve just gotta stand up, be a man and take responsibilty, but then he’ll crack in seconds and and revert straight back to the usual “but I fowt the referee blah blah, injuries blah blah, crowd blah blah, local media blah blah…

     Would hypnosis or something like that help?

131. Him getting the ‘Ruud Gullitt’ would help.

     Give him time to recover his sanity, his self-respect, and allow him to find something to do in life that he might actually be good at (water colours, proggy mats, fives and threes or something).

132. Stoke slipping up against Spurs (with a good bit of help from that d|ck Andre Mariner) is a bit of a downer – we’ll probably finish in tenth place now, looking at everyone’s remaining fixtures.

     Ridiculously, it’s quite likely that Pardew will end up getting his bonus and we’ll be stuck with the fecker for another season of mediocrity.

     Am I the only one who’s envying Sunderland their relegation battle? The last few games have been really good to watch – imagine watching them as a Sunderland fan? What was the last exciting game Newcastle were involved in?

     Where’s the excitement in bobbing around in mid-table? Why are the SHEEP still turning out in droves? How does providing financial support to a regime that needs to GO make you a ‘true supporter’?

133. Chuck, Maybe you should suck it up and retract your statement.
     It takes a man to admit when he is wrong and hold his hands up.
     There are lots of Ukrainians who are forming up militia’s because they are terrified of the Nazi’s and don’t want to live under that tyranny.

     You have right wing problems in every Country and gladly it’s in the minority.

     Worky, Has to be seen to take a stance on any kind of bigotry because his a**e is in a sling, Because he runs the site.
     What happens if you have readers and contributors who are of a different ethnic background coming on here and seeing dodgy views?

134. “Alan Pardew ‘I Have To Be Realistic'”

     http://www.themag.co.uk/the-mag-articles/alan-pardew-realistic/

     You just couldn’t make it up.

135. Darth: I looked at Sunderland’s fixtures this morning and thought they had a very good chance of staying up because they have 4 games to play with 3 at home.

     I wouldn’t trade places with them though. We have a simple way of improving our team, get a new manager. They will always be Mackems.

136. Chuck says he might takes his toys and go home because it is getting boring on here. I am shocked that ANYONE is even on here considering 5 terrible defeats in a row, Pardew blather, no heart, awful football, no goals in most games and relegation form since Christmas.

137. I have enjoyed some of the things Chuck said but he did tend to be a bit of a bully, especially against new contributors. I gave him a hard time mainly because I don’t like myopic bullies.

138. Sunderland have gave themselves a good chance winning 4-0.

139. Just go back and read the venom in some of your statements.

     Bit of a mob mentality, innit? and certainly no recommendation.

     WORKY, So have you found my statement calling your (imaginary) Ukrainian friends Neo-Nazi’s yet, or was that a lie ?

     Hell, you all deserve one another, on this dying blog, that barely survives, were it not for Worky sitting playing schoolmaster all day everyday, a real sad sack.

     With so many pretentious plans, none of which has ever been successful, couldn’t even hang onto a tuppence ha’penny job (Which he was so proud of @ METRO) writing in competition with school kids and quit because his writing was so poor, they had to edited most of it.

     Ah well, that’s about it!

     So for those who continue to find the blog in anyway interesting, please try and use a bit of imagination, something seriously lacking, now that i’m outta here.

140. Well at least you’re not bitter about anything, Chuck.

141. Showing his true colours Worky. He would always swear at me when I would not bow down to the almighty Chuck. It is funny how he thinks he is the only one who ever writes anything interesting. Did he ever write an article?

     Most of his stuff was repetitive and always cantankerous. Without this forum to vent on, I feel sorry for his “mates” down the pub where he has his Amstels. I expect they will be adding one more to the murder count in NYC.

142. Howay man chuck!

     All you had to do was take back a statement in which you labelled a whole country of people as Nazi’s.
     That is a very dodgy generalization and is not on regardless of a beef you may have with someone.

     I have seen what you wrote and your “Bang To Rights” and in the wrong 100%.
     Is that all that is stopping you from holding your hands up to it is ridiculous pride?
     You could have just put it down to one too many Amstels and moved on.
     Now you are just cutting your nose off to spite your face when it could have been done and dusted.

143. I know the club have come out to scotch rumours about Hatem Ben Arfa’s, (Cannot Believe I’m Writing This) Exile!

     Well apparently he has not travelled with the squad so i don’t know whether he is injured or there is any weight to the reports, Pardon the pun but that is meant to be one of the reasons for his alleged banishment!
     Along with his supposed attitude and constantly slating Pardew in the dressing room.

     Dissidents get exiled but it has to be a first if we are banishing players now!
     Mind you, Pardew has form for not getting along with and playing flair in his side, Opting for cloggers who run down blind alleys.

     If Ben Arfa has been slating Pardew in the dressing room he wants a medal the size of an “Ash Bin Lid” and not exiling.
     I wouldn’t put it past Ashley and his little “Snake Oil Salesman” of a manager.
     This would be a new low even for a reprobate like Ashley and his crass way of trying to run a Football Club.

     If this has any legs it gets dafter the more you think about it.
     Where do these morons think they are some dodgy dictatorship or ancient rome?
     You can just see Ashley standing there dressed in a toga with a laurel wreath on his head.
     Gorging himself on grapes and giving the thumbs up or the thumbs down.

     Your Exiled, F**KIN’ HELL MAN!

144. You could get pinched for talking to yourself on here!

     According to an article in “The Mag” Ben Arfa’s lawyer was on “Bein Sports” last night putting the boot into Pardew.
     Something along the lines of his client having his character assassinated by this man and his entourage and being made a scapegoat for his failings!

145. Stephen C aka “The Geordie Prophet” who used to be on here has got me a last minute ticket for the game this evening. The bastard!

146. joe hawkins says:
     April 28, 2014 at 2:56 pm

     “You could get pinched for talking to yourself on here!”

     Well I’ve been out alot recently. I was out of town yesterday evening and only got back today. Now I’m off to the the game by the look of things.

147. Worky, If you happen to see Ashley give him a smack in the mouth from me lol.

     Your a brave man going to watch that tonight as it could well be a towsing on the cards.

     I see Pardew has been having a kick aboot with the young’uns in Byker.
     This must be part of his self imposed punitive measures against himself which he spoke of in the aftermath of “The Nut Cracker Weak” scandal.

148. Worky, you might be alright as “Dear Leader” has had the squad lay off “The Power Work” and has instead opted for a “Technical Week”.
     Well that’s it then we have nowt to worry about Arsenal will be sh***ing the proverbial brick with the nous of Pardew to go up up against.
     This Footballing Leviathan of a manager means business and not even Wenger will stand in his way!

     I wonder who he got to spell technical for him?

149. joe hawkins says:
     April 28, 2014 at 5:00 pm

     “Your a brave man going to watch that tonight as it could well be a towsing on the cards.”

     It was 7-3 last time, Joe. Just setting off now.

150. Worky: what is the cost of your ticket? Islington has come a long way since I lived there. I was warned not to get off the tube at the Angel, and saw Mark MyWurdz at the Labour club (funniest stand-up I have ever seen). I was back about 10 years ago and it was proper gentrified like. They had even closed the upper street fish shop – all the journalists and such were eating at some Northern Indian Vegetarian place instead.

151. Remember when Pardew said ben Arfa had “matured” after he had left him out of the team AGAIN. I wonder what he thinks now?

152. That’s that then. They just gave a stat here in the US – of the 16 times we have gone 1-0 down this year we have lost 15. The other was against Stoke and we all remember they had 2 players sent off.

153. Oh God, it was a typical NUFC under Pardew goal. They all just stood there and watched as the Arsenal player knocked it in.

154. The injured players coming back and Pardew on the touchline has changed our fortunes :)

155. Nobody else commenting? I don’t blame you, this is truly awful. At least get Armstrong on to get a bit of experience.

156. Who was marking Ozil AND Giroud?

157. Shola :) Put an exclamation point on the fact that you have run out of ideas you daft cnut.

158. Worky: although you may not feel like it, can you put up what you heard in the crowd tonight? Was it resignation or anger?

159. I had a look on Ed’s blog and he still has the “in Carr we trust” t-shirt up. After Sissoko’s performance tonight I would say Carr is definitely human.

160. GS says:
     April 28, 2014 at 9:30 pm

     “Worky: although you may not feel like it, can you put up what you heard in the crowd tonight? Was it resignation or anger?”

     GS, chants like “You’re nothing special, everybody beats us,” and a variation to get at the Arsenal fans “You’re nothing special, Tottenham scored four.” Of course, there was FCB get out of our club, lots on Pardew getting the sack. I’ll write more tomorrow but I’ve got a terrible foot pain now.

161. GS says:
     April 28, 2014 at 5:56 pm

     “Worky: what is the cost of your ticket? ”

     £25 in with the Geordie away fans. Face value was £35.50 but they were cheaper through that make away tickets cheaper campaign (if you recall?). That’s what Stephen said anyway and he sorted them out.

162. GS says:
     April 28, 2014 at 9:24 pm

     “Who was marking Ozil AND Giroud?”

     I saw it another way, Arsenal had chances and even we had chances, it didn’t start so badly. Whan Arsenal had chances though they were organised and had one or two players in support to pick up the pieces if the shot was parried, spilled or hit the bar whereas we didn’t.

163. Thanks Worky. “Foot pain”, I am sure you have head pain to go along with it after that. I watched the whole game to make sure it wasn’t a dream and we were really that bad.

     A lot of these players are internationals who were well regarded before they got to us. I can only think of a few explanations:

     * our coaching staff is sh@t.

     * the French League really is not that good anymore.

     * Pardew froze out at least 2 of our best players – Marveaux and ben Arfa. Chuck’s buddy finds a way to get Coutinho in the team FFS.

     * Shola is always first sub/plan B, C and D.

     C’mon Fat Man can you not see a pattern in our total dishonour in the second half of a season. The players tune Pardew out and he alienates the talented players.

164. Worky: I was watching the game with my reverse B/W tinted glasses. I thought we were in for a hiding and anything good we did I ignored. I normally always want us to win. When I was in college in the 80s I bet an Arsenal fan a fiver that we would finish above them (that’s how deluded I am). Of course,I may as well have handed over the money before a ball was kicked. I did pay him though.

165. GS says:
     April 28, 2014 at 11:18 pm

     “Thanks Worky. “Foot pain”

     I’ve been doing boring stuff like gardening. I turned the whole garden over deep, going right down. It was all hard clay and big rocks so I’ve knacked my feet pounding a spade into it for days wearing thin trainers instead of big yacker’s boots. I’ve spent alot of the rest of the time walking and it’s been a double whammy on my right foot.

166. Update: of the 17 games where we went down 1-0, we have lost 16. The other was Stoke who were actually playing well before having 2 sent off.

     Mr. Motivator, my ars*.

     I am sure he was in the dug out during most of those games and his telekinetic skills worked about as well as they would have on Bony’s goal. What a f’kin idiot to even say something like that :)

167. Well he was in the dugout tonight giving them his psychological magic.

168. Well! looks like once again I was right, talking about the fact I predicted this end of season collapse.

     It is obvious that as much as some tv pundits, tend to excuse Pardew for the recent collapse, blaming Ashley’s
     refusal to spend on reinforcements over the last two windows.

     It should be obvious, to the fans, that it’s a combination of the two.

     It should now be , following the recent accumulative humiliation of the side to compete, for Ashley to both fire Pardew and resorting as he did a couple of seasons ago, to make some substantial signings.

     That is if he wants to remain in the PL.

     Otherwise his plan, of a permanent PL side, somewhere near mid table, will end in relegation.

     There are no magic solutions and every PL side has to either strengthen on an annual basis or face the fact they may face relegation.

     It’s not as if the league doesn’t reward clubs with more than enough funds than any other league.

     However, it appears Ashley is only interested in using the club to increase profits for “SD”.

     Which is crazy in fact, as SD would do so much better by being projected by a side with a winning image.

     Unfortunately for most home fans, we are lumbered, with an owner who just doesn’t get it, either football or the advertising business, who really should take some advice from professional sources, rather than a self belief that football is not that much different from the rag trade.

     It’s all about hiring the right people, if you don’t believe it look at Liverpool and Southampton, Everton Etc.

     It’s about image and style, not loosing seven outta the last ten games, with a proven failure of a manager.

     Instead someone who will bring back the charisma of the KK years and a style of football that not just the home fans, but the opposition can respect and enjoy.

     It’s obvious that the present situation and projection for the future are not that bright by listening to to-days game pundits, who’s analysis projected relegation in the upcoming season, without some kind of change.

     Look, watching to-days game, we have some decent players, but have to bring in some quality, that can be
     organized by a manager who understands the modern game and can make the side into both a winning and entertaining side.

     But don’t hold your breath waiting for it to happen, as we have an owner who believes he understands exactly how to run a club, mainly as an adjunct to Sports Direct.

     Which actually could happen if only he understood that both a winning and entertaining side sells better than an average or loosing one, which is what we have at present.

169. WTF Chuck?

170. Did anyone see his post match interview for Sky Sports?

     He is trying to say we are too demanding and they cannot deliver what we want.
     He has some brass neck Pardew although i think we will have to put up with him for the foreseeable because Ashley will not sack him!
     He will get his win against Cardiff City and he will be all p*** and vinegar.
     Even the inevitable humiliation which will come at Anfield will see him preside over another disastrous summer transfer window and joke of a pre-season.

     No doubt we will be fed some crap at the end of the season about a meeting and debrief between Ashley and Pardew about how the season went etc.
     There will be some crap about how tough questions were asked but at the end of it they are all united in pushing the club forward with it’s summer rebuild.

     I can see Pardew having more of an input this time and Ashley will take the Journeyman route in bringing in players from the lower leagues.
     I see names like Richard Cresswell are being bandied about.
     It may not be wide of the mark as Pardew might look to more compliant cloggers to carry out his pathetic instructions without protest.
     It’s obvious that talented and cultured players will not listen to this arrogant dinosaur of a non manager, So Pardew will look to be king among the carrion.
     Ashley will be happy signing these sort of players for 300,000 grand and 5 grand a week wages.
     I really think that Pardew has sold Ashley the look at the success of Southampton players like Lallana and Lambert success story as another cheap market to exploit.
     This might see him keeping his job for longer and more of an active role in the summer.
     Okay, You can get the odd success story but it will not work for Pardew.

     I can see a relegation battle coming next year and we will be very lucky to stay up!

171. I didn’t take Neville and Carragher long to jump onto the “Deluded Geordie” band wagon again last night.
     They seem to think Pardew is somehow getting a raw deal and has done a good job.

     Although i agree with them that 9th place is about right for us at this moment, Pardew has been poor at his job for two seasons now.

172. sorry typo!

173. workyticket says:
     April 29, 2014 at 1:09 pm

     “WTF Chuck?”

     So. In what sense is that toxic old turd actually BANNED, worky?

174. We’re getting loads of National Press after the loss to Arsenal. It is as if most of the Journalists haven’t watched any of our games in 2014 or their editors didn’t think we were newsworthy until we played Arsenal.

     The weird thing is that ALL OF THEM still protect Pardew, thinking he has done a good job. They list our woeful record and then say he has done OK with what he has. Bollocks, we were playing pretty cr@p before Christmas as well and a few narrow wins papered over the cracks and got us some points.

     This has been going on since at least the prior Christmas. He found it difficult to integrate the new Frenchmen then. You would have hoped it was because they needed a settling in period but there hasn’t been much improvement, if any. Maybe Debuchy? Gouffran looked a decent player until they turned him into a defensive midfielder covering for first Santon and now Dummett.

     We don’t get the same pundits in the US for the game but I saw Neville and maybe Redknapp were saying it wasn’t Pardews fault. They usually make sense, but have they seen a Pardew press conference or analysed his “tactics”? The 5th place was the aberration.

     I don’t want us to lose to Cardiff but if it gets Alan closer to the door it might be a blessing in disguise. Same if Liverpool needed to score a boat load if they need to overhaul Citeh’s goal difference. They scored 6 at SJP without Suarez so I think I will suffer that one at home in silence and not venture to any pub where the Scouse will be.

     It is funny how even the most humourless Scouser thinks they are funny because of the unwarranted reputation of Scousers being funny. I have two words to say to that – Stan Boardman.

175. Darth: Chuck also said he was retiring from here because there was nothing “interesting”. In what sense is Chuckles trotting out his same old rubbish interesting? I must have seen that same post @168 at least 100 times. I wonder if he just copies and pastes it from previous threads. Interesting, he’s having a laugh.

176. I also saw a journalist say Pardew had rejuvenated his career at NUFC and would have no trouble finding employment. I think it was Louise Taylor. I know she has watched us, and watched even the Mackems brush us aside. She should know better.

177. GS says:
     April 29, 2014 at 5:18 pm

     “It is funny how even the most humourless Scouser thinks they are funny because of the unwarranted reputation of Scousers being funny. I have two words to say to that – Stan Boardman.”

     The Geeermans, they bombed our chipshop!” That was all I can remember him saying, that the Germans bombed his chipshop.

     Tarby?

178. GS: I’ve really no idea what clunk posted. I’m done reading that narcissistic old fraud’s toxic bullsh|t.

     I had some idea we might be spared from it from now on.

179. Pardew probably will find another job because the other Chairman will have not done due diligence and watched a few of our games. They will see us as mid-table and not look beneath the surface.

180. Worky: Tarby, I thought he was a golfer? Judging by the TV comics from when I grew up, the Scouse reputation for humour was at best exaggerated. Give me Tommy Cooper or Frankie Howerd any day.

181. Pardew won’t need to find another job for some time, GS.

     Fifty thousand people (sheep) every week through the turnstiles. That’s all that counts. He’s even on target for his bonus, FFS.

182. Worky: did you know that Cheggers did a naked version of Runaround? They have a show called “Real Sex” on HBO here and showed a clip. I am sure they don’t even know what Runaround was but they showed the clip to make fun of Cheggers’ freakishly small penis.

183. GS says:
     April 29, 2014 at 5:38 pm

     “Give me Tommy Cooper or Frankie Howerd any day.”

     Yes, I know that Cheggers did a naked quiz show, GS. But did you know that an eider duck sounds just like Frankie Howerd?

     https://audioboo.fm/boos/1908103-the-bird-that-sounds-like-frankie-howerd

184. So radio 4 have taken up where “That’s Life” left off when I lived in Britain and are spending the License payers money on animals tricks and noises in the name of humour. Not much changes – soss-a-ges.

     Anyway. Watching Bayern and Madrid to get the bad taste of yesterdays surrender out of my mouth. I have no idea who will win as Madrid have been built to combat possession based football with Ronaldo, Bale, Di Maria and Alonso. It should be interesting for people who understand the tactical nuances of the game (which I don’t profess to).

185. GS says:
     April 29, 2014 at 6:47 pm

     “So radio 4 have taken up where “That’s Life” left off when I lived in Britain and are spending the License payers money on animals tricks and noises in the name of humour. Not much changes – soss-a-ges.”

     I’d rather have the BBC (and the license fee) than all that American drivel you have to watch. American TV, and all the other TV I’ve seen around the world is the best possible advert for the BBC.

186. @185: Some American TV is good, but the ads make it almost unwatchable. That’s why I have 3 football channels, Netflix and HBO. I can suffer through the ads to watch Stewart and Colbert.

     They have BBC America here but that is infested with ads too. There is Public TV which shows a lot of BBC stuff. Unfortunately, they are still showing reruns of “Are You Being Served”.

     The commentators over here were questioning whether Pep WOULD be sacked after yesterday’s game. That is about the stupidest thing I have ever heard. He just won the title and is in the German cup final next week. If that is failure, I would like some of that for NUFC.

187. Oh, and Worky, the Yanks have finally figured out football. They no longer have ad breaks in it. I remember watching the World Cup a few years ago and they would cut to commercial after about 10-20-30 and 40 minutes. They missed like half the goals.

188. It looks like Pardew has got his wish and the media have really turned against him now. I am sure everybody has seen the Chronic. The only people offering any defense is the eternal Pardew defender Ed and the idiot Troy.

189. GS says:
     April 30, 2014 at 1:49 pm

     “Oh, and Worky, the Yanks have finally figured out football. They no longer have ad breaks in it. I remember watching the World Cup a few years ago and they would cut to commercial after about 10-20-30 and 40 minutes. They missed like half the goals.”

     When I watched it (a long time ago) it was hard to tell the difference between the shows and the adverts. They just seem to fade in and out seamlessly.

190. I have been thinking about the press. It is not a good strategy to ban them and then wind them up. Only Alex Ferguson could get away with that as he was actually quite good. If you are a clueless, absurd excuse maker I think having the press on your side would be a good tactic. What am I on about, we all know Pardew knows nothing about tactics!

191. Worky: there are 14 minutes of commercials per hour on American regular TV, plus 8 minutes of brand appearances for a total of 36% advertising per hour (more on cable). This is why I don’t watch much regular TV and have to be armed with the remote when I do. Hocky is about the only American sport that has a flow that they don’t interrupt with their endless ads.

     They have even convinced some non sports fans and women that it is worth watching the super bowl for the new commercials that are introduced during the broadcast. There seems to be no limit to the gullibility of the American public.

     I would gladly pay the BBC a license fee to get some more quality uninterrupted TV.

192. GS, I can see where telly was invented from my window. Ally Pally.

193. GS says:
     April 30, 2014 at 6:01 pm

     “I would gladly pay the BBC a license fee to get some more quality uninterrupted TV.”

     Murdoch has really been fighting to destroy it.

194. What’s the betting on an unchanged lineup since we did so well against Arsenal? No ben Arfa, no Marveaux but plenty of Shola and Dummett. Dummett is not a premier league quality player from what I have seen.

     If the idiot thinks that we cant see through his “support the team” comments as a desperate plea for the fans not to boo him then I think he may now be believing his own BS/PR.

195. To be honest, I haven’t been following the news like I used to, though I will be watching the game tomorrow as usual. Is it war with Ben Arfa yet?

     I was at the Arsenal game with just two or three thousand away fans and the Pardew baiting wasn’t too good there. 50,000 at home would be really bad.

196. Cant beleve Shola scored.

197. I’ve just got in, Phisix. Is it 1-0 then?

198. I’m up to speed now.

199. I thought the useless fecker would get his result against Cardiff.
     You will not be able to get the thick get’s head through the door now!
     He not half took some stick today and his little respite will not last long because Liverpool will wipe the floor with them.

     We did however give them every opportunity to get back into the game and scored the other two with them getting desperate and leaving gaps.

     True to form our idiotic fan base couldn’t organize a p*** up in a brewery with some leaving on 60 minutes and other leaving on 69 minutes.
     I don’t know how many left but one kid tried to get into the directors box.
     The stewards continue to operate a kind of Neo North Korea approach under Ashley in trying to take banners from the fans.

     No real great surprise here today because Cardiff were poor against Sunderland and were easily beaten, So you knew if we couldn’t beat them then we might as well chuck it in.
     Vincent Tan has got Cardiff relegated and this might not have been the case if he hadn’t sacked Malky Mackay.
     I felt sorry for Solskjaer who looked like he was going to burst into tears.

     Pardew is a dead man walking in a football sense because he thought if he could get the win, It would cover up for everything else.
     He was wrong there because the chants were against him throughout the whole game, Even when we went a goal up.
     The out of touch idiot actually thinks Geordie’s are that stupid, And naively thinks one win will get him out of trouble.
     He has basically had it here and it’s only a question of when Ashley decides to pull the trigger.
     We might have to put up with the idiot until he no doubt louses it up early next season, But he is edging closer to the door.

200. This is the first time I have seen real anger at Pardew. He wont get the message though and will say it was a “minority” of the fans who were against him. He will gloss over the fact that probably not a single fan was for him, certainly not in a vocal way.

201. The weird thing is that we will probably finish 9th and I would have taken that at the beginning of the season. However, the capitulation after Christmas, ostracizing ben Arfa and Marveaux, no goal threat when our loanee is out, no buys for 18 months, the Joe Kinnear non-DF episode and Shola starting when it is very likely his contract will not be renewed makes me feel we were very lucky and it wont last without major changes.

202. “True to form our idiotic fan base couldn’t organize a p*** up in a brewery with some leaving on 60 minutes and other leaving on 69 minutes.
     “I don’t know how many left but one kid tried to get into the directors box.
     “The stewards continue to operate a kind of Neo North Korea approach under Ashley in trying to take banners from the fans.”

     Joe, you can’t ride the Geordie tiger once it’s roused. Anything could happen up there! The missile might hit its target or (probably) go completely out of control like when you let go of a blown up balloon without tying it first. Police horses will be sleeping uneasily in their stables again.

203. GS says:
     May 3, 2014 at 6:19 pm

     “The weird thing is that we will probably finish 9th and I would have taken that at the beginning of the season.”

     About one place below where we should have been according to my estimations. If Stoke beat West Brom and we get beaten by Liverpool, Stoke will overtake us.

204. GS says:
     May 3, 2014 at 6:13 pm

     “This is the first time I have seen real anger at Pardew. ”

     That’s what I was saying after I was at the Arsenal game, GS. It was coming once there was 50,000 there instead of just two or three thousand.

205. I will take my hat off to Pardew there!
     I have just seen Pardew’s interview and he was as cool as a cucumber and he handled himself well.
     He is under immense Pressure but he takes it on the chin and still proclaimed us “The Best In The World” despite all the stick.

     He is right there, It definitely was a strange atmosphere today.
     It was a weird feeling when you are winning but no one seems to give a f**k anymore!
     This is all down to Ashley and his running of the club, He has finally succeeded in turning it into something no one is going to want to touch with a barge pole in the future!

206. Strange scenes in Rome. They have a few fans (Ultras) on the field talking to players whilst the game is delayed. Others are throwing flares and there are reports of a shooting and a nail bomb.

     At least our protest was calm for once.

207. Joe: Pardew is delusional and oblivious to criticism. He watches a different game to the rest of us as evidenced by him saying we played well at Arsenal. His calm demeanor just proves his delusion.

208. GS says:
     May 3, 2014 at 8:12 pm

     “Strange scenes in Rome. They have a few fans (Ultras) on the field talking to players whilst the game is delayed. Others are throwing flares and there are reports of a shooting and a nail bomb.”

     Italian football hooliganism just carried on regardless after Heysel, and they’re gun mad like the Yanks. Several people were shot and one is critically wounded so far.

     http://www.theguardian.com/football/2014/may/03/copa-italia-final-shootings-napoli-fiorentina

209. GS, I think the vast majority of managers are deluded to an extent because normal people wouldn’t put themselves through it.
     Don’t get me wrong, I’m going to suddenly turn into a Pardew fan and i still want him gone.
     There is no way he will walk away when he is sitting on a pay off and he will have to be pushed by Ashley at some point.
     Some of the posters on “The Chronicle” website seem to think Liverpool will be his last game.
     I think we will have to endure more from him next season and if he catches another break early on, We will be stuck with him for the duration.

     Ashley will have told him to just go to the mattresses and ride out the storm like he has done.
     The sad thing about this is the timing off it and we will lose momentum over the summer.
     Ashley and Co have a knack of coming through things unscathed when it is against them.
     These protests should have been constant and should have been organized earlier.
     There now needs to be a consorted effort and an agreement among the fans to carry on this protest into next season.

     Ashley Out!

210. Sorry typo, Double f for f**k sake!

211. Donald Trump’s ‘Trump – The fragrance’ has got to be the best name ever for a perfume. What kind of silly slag would be daft enough to buy something like that?

212. Worky, That’s a classic case of “Lost In Translation” between Septics & Limey’s lol.
     Somebody wants to tell him before he makes a cnut out of himself with it!
     F**k him anyway, I hate the wannabe Scottish cnut!

213. joe hawkins says:
     May 4, 2014 at 12:50 pm

     “Worky, That’s a classic case of “Lost In Translation” between Septics & Limey’s lol.”

     Worst one is “I could murder a fag.” I said that to some Yanks in Cambodia once and they gave me a very funny look. I suppose “I could murder an Indian” could come across as a bit wrong to Yanks too.

214. Worky, Going beyond that i have a mate who was in the Navy and they were doing joint training exercises with the Yanks.
     He got talking to an american bloke who came out with this:

     “So Britain Is An Island Right, What Do You Guys Do For
     Entertainment, Get A Boat To The Mainland”?

215. joe hawkins says:
     May 5, 2014 at 1:12 pm

     “i have a mate who was in the Navy”

     I always hear a burst of the Village People in my head whenever I read or hear that phrase. I pass the Crouch End YMCA alot as well and the same thing happens.

216. If Pardew stays it looks like we will get the bonus of Plan B Shola for another season. I am sure Shola is a good influence in the dressing room but not so much on the field. We all know his limitations and just the fact he is on the pitch seems to encourage the hoof. Pardew has learnt nothing in 3+ years here.

217. GS, I have just seen it on The Sky Website about him being open to staying.
     Too right he is!
     More lounging around and picking up money for next to nowt.
     It’s a wonder the Nash haven’t been around to interview him in his years here.
     Surely it must be benefit fraud that he is committing!
     Are the 2 or 3 goals he scores a season the equivalent of signing on?
     If he stays it sends out the wrong message and proves their transfer policy is nothing more than a scam.
     Lets be honest there is no surprise in this as everyone knew this s**t was on the cards!

     Worky, The funniest and most overtly gay song they did was “Macho Man” for me.
     Every time i hear that it cracks me up and the video with that 70’s classic gay male look doing push ups is hysterical.
     My mate who is gay is a right p*** head and when we used to work together he would have that bad of a hang over he couldn’t do anything.
     So i always had to cover for him and do his work because he couldn’t.
     So when he was lying in the corner in a bad way i would get my own back at him by singing that song at him along with “In The Navy” lol.

218. Shola certainly spoke out at the right time and said the right things.

     Pardew can’t get enough of him now.

219. Shola can make one well timed goal go further than anyone else in the game. That header will probably get him an eight year extension now.

220. I now find this Anti-Pardew vitriol quite amusing as most of us on here have been against him from day one.
     I cannot help but think to myself, What a bunch of band wagon jumpers lol.

     I used to be fed up to the back teeth of seeing this charlatan get praised the way he did.
     Things like “In Pardew We Trust” and the moniker “Pardiola” were bandied around easily.
     Most of us on here have been putting the boot into for nigh on three years in fact i have opposed his appointment from day one!

     Now he is “Persona Non Grata” public enemy number one!
     The thing that i find worrying about our fans is, Why the f**k did it take them so long to cotton on to the fact this bloke is useless?
     The warning sign have been there for a very very long time, Talk about slow on the uptake!

221. Did anyone see him skulking in the shadows of Selhurst Park last night?
     The camera panned onto him and he looked shocked and embarrassed.
     Who the hell does he think he is though with them bins on “The Man From Uncle”?

222. Joe: I think “Pardiola” was used tongue in cheek by most.

223. I have been thinking about Moyes and dont think he would be that bad of a choice for us. He was in over his head at Man U but played some decent football at Everton. Unlike his face recently, it wasn’t all dour. He developed some good attacking talent such as Rooney, Baines and Barklay and some really good center halfs. He also did pretty well with Lukaku. I am sure people can name failures as well, but I think he would be a big step forward from Pardew if he can get his confidence back.

     He may have overemphasised nullifying the opposition but his teams did have some flair.

     He has a reputation for working on a tight budget. I am not sure if that is true or not, but it would be if he signed for NUFC :)

     The problem is he didn’t win anything, but we are used to that. I didn’t think his Everton sides were that bad to watch.

224. Erm, it just hit me that Moyes never managed Lukaku. He was at West Brom when Moyes was at Everton. Still, if he HAD managed Lukaku he would have done a better job of it than Pards :)

225. GS says:
     May 7, 2014 at 2:14 am

     “Joe: I think “Pardiola” was used tongue in cheek by most.”

     It was my fault, I started using it tongue and cheek but it caught on and others picked up on it and seemed to be serious, though no doubt most would deny it now :-)

226. GS says:
     May 7, 2014 at 2:23 am

     “I have been thinking about Moyes and dont think he would be that bad of a choice for us. He was in over his head at Man U but played some decent football at Everton.”

     He’s the definition of middle of the road football, GS. He’s ok, he’s better than Pardew but it’s the Everton thing. Everyone thinks they’re the plucky underdog with no money who punches above their weight. BOLLOCKS!

     As I’ve said several times before, Everton are the closest club to Newcastle United. We should be fighting it out for seventh place. That is pretty much what Moyes has done after a shaky, erratic start in his first few years. He has punched his weight pretty much to the ounce with some excellent players. We’ve only done it once with Pardew and punched below our weight the rest of the time (12th, 5th, 16th, 9th or 10th?)

     Looking at them now with Martinez, they are like us when we came fifth. They should be seventh again (see above) like we should have been seventh when we came fifth. However, like Liverpool and Chelsea when we came fifth, Man U and Spurs have underperformed to let Everton get another two places up the ladder too.

     http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Everton_F.C._seasons

227. Joe, reflect on the financial crash and the Euro crisis.

     Surely you don’t have to be Isaac Newton to figure out that suddenly lending loads of money to people who weren’t allowed to before due to being a huge credit risk, or that trying to put economies like Germany and France together with economies like Greece and Cyprus in the same currency zone could go a bit Pete Tong.

     And so it was with Pardew.

228. Worky, Most of our fan base were too daft to see the truth that was staring them in the face and have only started to cotton on after three year of this numpty!

     Looks like “The Chronicle” are starting to soften their stance on him in recent articles.
     You are still getting the odd pockets of “He Needs Backing In The Window”, “It’s Not His Fault”, “Who Else Could We Get…” etc

     He has had more backing than any other manager during Ashley’s tenure.
     Even when Ashley backed him with the 5 French signings it was a waste of time and you got a bit of a shot in the arm, Then the inevitable decline.

     So why can’t people see that even if you threw a load of money at him it wouldn’t make one bit of difference.
     It would be like a junkie looking for a fix, You get an initial hit and high followed by a bad comedown.
     It would be the same result again where new recruits will go backwards after being “Pardewed”.

     He really is a waste of space and Ashley should have done himself a favour and got shot of him after the headbutt incident.
     No we will be stuck with him into next season with more of his clap trap and he could take us down if he is continually given the chance to do so.

229. joe hawkins says:
     May 7, 2014 at 3:53 pm

     “Looks like “The Chronicle” are starting to soften their stance on him in recent articles.
     “You are still getting the odd pockets of “He Needs Backing In The Window”, “It’s Not His Fault”, “Who Else Could We Get…” etc

     “He has had more backing than any other manager during Ashley’s tenure.”
     “Even when Ashley backed him with the 5 French signings it was a waste of time and you got a bit of a shot in the arm, Then the inevitable decline.”

     Well as you know Joe, I do alot of research and I keep banging on that Pardew’s had a team on a par with Everton with the likes of Cabaye, Colo (who was over 10 million) Benny, Sissoko blah blah…

     We should’ve been mid table in Pardew’s first season and fighting with Everton for seventh and eighth thereafter. We’ve come 12th, 5th, 16th and 9th or 10th so he’s overachieved a bit once, underachived a bit twice and finally, he’s massively and almost catastrophically underachived once so far. But that doesn’t account for the pure misery of watching Pardew’s Newcastle sometimes. It’s like a sneak preview of death.

230. Has it occurred to anyone else that we won’t be able to actually bring in anyone of any quality in the closed season?

     Who would be DAFT enough to come?

     Even if we were prepared to pay over the odds (I know :) ) for good, proven players, they’d need to be completely oblivious to the reputation of the management of the club they’re coming to (that probably even rules out Demba Ba coming back). The only players we might get our hands on will probably be untried, untested youth players looking for a quick start in the EPL, which hasn’t worked out that well to date.

     All the talk about people of the quality of Jonjo Shelvey and Andros Townsend (well out of our league at the moment) coming is just plain bollox.

231. Worky: every 10 games or so we play a decent game of football. The rest is just defensive blah. If we go a goal down, we get hammered and are truly awful. I think you pointed out a few times that this was exactly the pattern at Pardew’s previous teams.

     The other thing he does is turn international players into donkeys. They often don’t look like they have ever played together. I gave him a bit of the benefit of the doubt in the season when we finished 5th because we had a few decent results and one or two decent performances (although the wins papered over the cracks in that respect).

     Now he has lost the dressing room, he has to go. Ben Arfa is taking the p*ss out of him now because he has nothing to lose. If he stays Pardew wont play him, if he goes it will be to a better team and he will be rid of Pardew. Win, win for ben Arfa.

     He has lost almost all the fans as well. I check a few of the other blogs and the only one I see defending him is the idiot Troy. Even Ed Harrison is hedging his bets now and he was Pardew’s biggest fanboy for a while.

     We really are is disarray – fractured dressing room, terrible run of form, fans and press against the manager, awful football, our most skillful player training with the reserves, Shola picked ahead of young talent in meaningless games etc. I see comments in the Guardian and such saying “you are 9th, what are you complaining about”? They obviously haven’t watched us play and don’t know we are on a death spiral with Pardew in charge.

232. If we had a reputable manager, of course, things might be different.

     Then again, even if that were the case, the incredibly modest ambitions of the shower of sh|t in charge of the club should still put any quality player off coming to us.

233. GS says:
     May 7, 2014 at 6:27 pm

     “The other thing he does is turn international players into donkeys. They often don’t look like they have ever played together.”

     Very true, GS. He doesn’t know what to do with real players. It’s as if he comes up with a plan to stop them doing what they do best (playing them out of position from the off being his favorite ploy).

234. Ed is running a poll asking if Pardew should be replaced. So far the results are 74% Yes, 26% No. Who are the 26%? They can’t all be Mackems.

     So, even after the past 2 years some people still have faith in Pardew. Even when we were doing OK at the start of the season we weren’t playing particularly well most of the time. Chelsea and Man U were good, but they were avenged big time in the reverse fixtures.

235. Worky, Have you seen that piece on “The Mag” under the heading “The Best Article You Will Ever Read On The Current State Of Newcastle United”?
     I don’t visit the site that often but i have seen you put the odd comment on there.
     They are a bit rabble rousing and biased but i did like that article with it’s analogies concerning “The Simpsons”.

     I had to agree with the parts that Pardew has made watching Newcastle United a utterly joyless experience.
     He has under his paymaster’s instructions tried to crush the ambition, The life, The Culture, The History out of the club.
     He is like some kind of generic John Major clone who is there to subvert and crush the spirit of everything.

     Darth, You right there!, Who is going to come here in the end?
     The whole thing has become toxic under messrs Ashley & Pardew.
     The talk has been of having a more British feel to the side this summer.
     I honestly do not know how that will work because these players will cost money.
     So i can only see a few attempts to loan players of the ilk of Zaha who have been mentioned.
     He has been poor this season though and hasn’t even stood out in a poor Cardiff side.
     I wouldn’t be in a hurry to get him and i doubt whether Pardew would coax anything out of him anyway!

     Like a mentioned in a previous post about Pardew going down the Jason Puncheon, Adam Llallana, Ricky Lambert and that lad who scored the two for Palace the other night route.
     They might try and exploit the lower leagues and pick up players who can hopefully make the step up.
     These players are exceptions to the rule although i would like to see more British players get a chance as that is what is wrong with our game now.
     Most of the time though you are going to get what you pay for, And for every Llallana you will get a Kevin Nugent.
     You just have to look at Gouffran, We paid 600,000 grand for him.
     These sort of prices would have bought Micky Quinn 25 years ago.
     The lad works hard and has had the odd decent game and scored the important goal against Q.P.R last season but he has not half missed some sitters also!

     Failing that it will be back to plundering France for more cut price players and we already know how that one has turned out.
     They will no doubt find a way to louse everything up come the transfer window.
     Either way we are knackered imo and there is going to be some dark times on the horizon.

236. I had to have a chuckle at Bobby Mug-Cur’s! latest crap in “The Chronicle”.
     He is talking about people calling him a Yes-Man on some social media sites.
     He then goes on to more or less describe himself as the very thing he is trying to refute in the first instance.
     Comments underneath the article have not escaped people’s notice, What a divvy!

237. Well, Pards says we won’t roll over at Anfield and that he expects a top performance. I expect this “top” performance will be 8 men behind the ball with Shola 10 yards in our half looking for a hopeful flick-on to Remy. So, that’s an 8 man blockade with Shola essentially being a 5th midfielder.

     Liverpool usually start fast and if they get their early goal then the above “tactics” will be changed for 10 minutes as we chase the game. After failing to reply it will be backs to the wall for the remainder of the game. Since most of our defenders are slow and most of Liverpool’s attackers are fast and tricky, we could be in for a long day.

     It would be a good game to give Armstrong a runout as we have nothing to lose and are probably in for a tonking anyway. What we will see instead is Shola, and possibly Gosling and Dummett. I think Dummett is on to take the free kicks because Haidara and M’Biwa would be better choices at left back. This is a typical Pardew/Carver move because Dummett has proved to be crap at free kicks (direct ones anyway).

238. Joe: I read Moncur’s puff piece and think he misses the point. His excuse is that based on finances, we could only expect to finish 7th at best and therefore Pardew has done a good job. We all know that already. What the fans are complaining about are the awful performances, the defensive set-ups, the capitulations, the benching of our most creative players for the likes of Gosling etc…

     He then goes on to say that if you can’t say anything nice then don’t say anything at all :) Is he a schoolboy? That would have worked well for Churchill in his dealings with Hitler :)

     Defending Pardew because he doesn’t want to say anything bad about somebody is a pretty weak argument if you ask me.

239. On Moncur: is he doing the ars*-licking because he gets in the hospitality suite or is a “club ambassador”? I don’t know, but he says he knows much more about football because he played it. True, I am sure, but he seems to have a blind spot as far as Pardew and Chairmen past and present are concerned.

     He says it is difficult to attract players to the North East. Maybe that is true, although the Frenchmen, Dutch, Ivory Coast, Senegalese that we had in the squad might refute that.

     Still, it is only an hours flight to London. You could live in Ponteland or Darras Hall and easily get to London for a night out and return on the red eye that leaves at around 8am. Hell, on their wages, they could have a flat in London if they wanted.

240. And… if we are stuck in the doldrums of 7-11 then we should at least play with some passion and style and not Pardew’s negativity. We shouldn’t be losing 4-0 to Stoke, Southampton and Swansea either, if they are supposedly on a lower financial footing.

     I can understand playing for points when it matters, like for a Champions League or Europa spot. When we have nothing to lose, we still play for points, which is what Moncur doesn’t understand about Pardew. We hardly ever entertain. He only takes the shackles off when we have a numerical advantage. We never put 2 halves of good football together in one match. This is because Pardew is basically a scared manager whose natural reaction is to shut up shop.

     The most damning fact is that we never hammer anyone (except Stoke where there were mitigating circumstances) and often get hammered ourselves. Football is supposed to be entertainment, fun. Under Pardew it is usually an unsatisfying slog at best.

241. How will we know that Alan Hansen has retired? He watches football for a living and spends 5 days on the golf course. He has to go into the studio 2 days a week, poor lamb.

242. Well the rumours about Christophe Galtier being linked with Pardew’s job haven’t been refuted by the club yet.
     Although it is all just speculation which you would expect With Pardew being under pressure.
     Apparently his services have been offered to the club in the last few days and he is keen to manage in England.
     I don’t know much about him other than he was Alain Perrin’s no 2 at Portsmouth and he has done well at St Eitienne.

243. Rolf’s been convicted. They’ve been talking about the “Dark side of Rolf.” I’ve heard about his dark side. I knew a journalist who did an interview with him a long time ago and Rolf threatened to “beat the sh*t” out of him.

244. joe hawkins says:
     May 9, 2014 at 5:09 pm

     “Well the rumours about Christophe Galtier being linked with Pardew’s job haven’t been refuted by the club yet.”

     Christophe Galtier sounds like one of those cheap, phoney designer labels.

245. GS says:
     May 9, 2014 at 4:12 pm

     “How will we know that Alan Hansen has retired? He watches football for a living and spends 5 days on the golf course. He has to go into the studio 2 days a week, poor lamb.”

     Lineker, Shearer and Hansen get paid like the Premier League footballers they are watching as well, millions per year.

246. workyticket says:
     May 9, 2014 at 6:16 pm

     “Christophe Galtier sounds like one of those cheap, phoney designer labels.”

     How could chubs possibly resist? Pards is as good as gone :)

247. Oh well, one more game the morra and that’s it. We do have transfer hell to look forward to again though. Of course, there’ll be lots of playing “hardball” and refusing to be “held to ransom” over players, along with all the other key phrases we’ve come to know and love post Ashley.

248. Worky, Your mate David Icke has been going on about Paedophiles at the top levels of society for years.

249. joe hawkins says:
     May 10, 2014 at 10:12 am

     “Worky, Your mate David Icke has been going on about Paedophiles at the top levels of society for years.”

     Joe, we pretend that our attitude and level of revulsion to Paedophilia has always been the same, but it hasn’t. With all the ‘Yew Tree’ stuff, society is, in a sense, taking 21st century attitudes and transplanting them back to the 1960s and 1970s but how far should we go? Should we start disintering ancient Greeks and start putting their remains on trial for pederasty? Of course, paedophilia is very wrong, but you always find yourself coming up with some mindbending contradictions when you get into tackling the subject retrospectively.

250. We’ve only got five wins and a draw from our last twenty games. That’s 16 points out of 60, 30 points a season relegation form for more than half the season, and yet we are still ninth with a two point cushion over a rampant Stoke going into the last game. I don’t quite know how Pardew does it?

251. Worky, It is certainly a tricky one to tackle.
     I think we do forget that when a girl reaches around thirteen they are considered a woman and able to reproduce unless they are a late starter.

     You then get those who say but they are not mature enough to handle an adult relationship.
     Then that just contradicts what i said above because they say a woman is fully mature and developed at that age and they do not develop further.
     It really is a minefield that you cannot negotiate and the term “Jail Bait” was used in “Rock n Roll” circles until recently, Jerry Lee Lewis anyone!

     That Pederasty was a funny one indeed, Learn your apprenticeship by being bummed by your gaffer, But don’t worry it will make a man out of you!
     I’m glad i wasn’t doing on the job training back then lol.

252. It’s a shame, As i used to love “Rolf’s Cartoon Club”
     “You Can Join Today” Will i f**k!
     All your left with now is the image of him shaking that card and giving it “Um Diddi Em Diddi” as old octopus tries to letch after some young lass!
     That’s why i never hero worship anyone because they are never what you think.

     My illusions were shattered early on in life with so called celebrities.
     I was a massive “Big Daddy” fan like most kids of that era and one day he came to Exhibition Park.
     I queued up with my mother for a hour to get him to sign an autograph only for him to stop and say that he didn’t want to sign anymore kids books.
     He was being stroppy and was a right prick and my mother does not take any s**t from anyone.
     As he tried to walk away my mother rushed past his security and starting poking him in the chest and calling him a disgrace to his fans.
     Well old Shirley Crabtree didn’t know where to put himself and everyone was cheering my mother.
     It was embarrassing for me as a kid but when i look back she was right to do it.
     Your parents are your real heroes and from that day forward i have never put anyone on a pedestal as some do.
     They are just people doing a job and no one should a**ecrawl them.

253. Joe: how did your mam find Shirley’s chest? His belly started at his neck.

254. “If there’s grass on the pitch, it’s time to play” is one expression.

     I wonder what Rolf’s patter was like? “Can you tell what it is yet? Yeah, it’s a pink snake lookin’ after its two little hairy eggs. Do you wanna touch it?…”

255. GS, She just poked at the flab lol
     It was crazy when i look back now as my mother come across like one of them old bints who hit the wrestlers with their hand bags or brollies.
     It had all the farcical quality of a wrestling match and i wonder whether the crowd thought it was a set up lol
     My younger brother was only a bairn at the time in his push chair and was getting thrown all over the shop.

256. Worky, It doesn’t bear thinking about when another “National Treasure” so to speak, Ends up being a nonce.

     One of the more vulgar one’s i have heard is:
     “Old Enough To Bleed, Old Enough To Breed”, I cannot believe i’m typing this ffs lol

257. “Two Little Boys” now takes on an even dodgier image in the mind.

258. It is a pity that some of the entertainers we grew up with turned out to be sleazy. I could never imagine anybody wanting sex with Rolf Harris so I guess he took it where he could get it, forced or otherwise.

     The strange thing is that there don’t seem to be any characters in this new generation of entertainers. No Frankie Howerd, Tommy Cooper or even Stephen Fry. I am getting old? They are all bland and boring taking after the Tony Blair and David Cameron Britain. And don’t say Frankie Boyle.

     Ainsley Harriot is a TV “personality” FFS.

259. “Jake The Peg” and the extra leg saw plenty action!

260. Have there been any revelations about Christopher Biggins yet?

261. I have to admit I got a sort of perverse pleasure when the Blue Peter Garden was vandalised. Even when i was 10 I couldn’t get my head around why people would want a Blue Peter Badge.

262. GS, It’s not a case of getting old they are all a load of tossers today.
     All the old characters are casting off their mortal coils and we are left with a plethora of clones or zombies with nowt to say for themselves.

     In years to come jokers like Muse, Cold Play etc are not going to be remembered.
     I saw a documentary on Sky Arts last week about The Mamma’s And The Pappa’s.
     The song writing by John Phillips was brilliant and you don’t get nothing like that now.
     Give me people like Jake Burns, Paul Weller, John Lydon, Joe Strummer and the like over Chris Martin any day of the week!

263. Joe: if I met Rolf it would have been didgeree-don’t and stop the f@cking heavy breathing as well you perve.

264. I suppose the only sort of Punk band that is in the mainstream now saying something are Green Day.
     The trouble with them is they did everything the wrong way!
     They started off as a Punk band but sold out to one of the majors and became more of a Pop Punk outfit.
     That’s okay, And they did go on to do some catchy songs, And are a good band in that respect.
     As soon as they made their money though they decide to be a protest band again with “American Idiot”.
     A lot of proper punks didn’t like it though because it is easy to be a rebel with a few million quid in the bank!

265. Joe @262: you mean Radiohead 1 and 2? I know it has always been done, Cliff Richards used to curl his lip like Elvis. But Muse took it too far. They seem to have talent and wasted it copying Radiohead.

266. GS, It was Les Ferdinand who did that when he was an apprentice at Q.P.R lol.

267. NBC own 10 TV networks over here. They are showing all the premier league games live tomorrow. It is really weird. I go from not seeing any football 10 years ago to having every premier league game and most La Liga games available live.

     I never thought I would say this, but I want us to lose. I want a 6 or 7 nil to put the final nail in Pardew’s coffin. I know I cannot trust fatty to do what is right but another slaughter might help him make up his mind. Sacrificing one game for the greater good!

268. GS, It is waste of talent what some of the bands are doing now.
     Don’t get me wrong i have respect for anyone who gets up there but why waste your time making crap music?

     Coldplay make the Prog Rock Movement seem exciting and you can remember how bad it was getting then.
     The World is definitely waiting for another kick up the a**e, But i don’t know whether today’s youngsters could be trusted to do it.
     It might have to take a group of older people to show the young where they are going wrong.

     When you look back to “The Old Grey Whistle Test” some of the bands on there were amazing and there was loads of them coming through.
     There is a dearth of decent bands coming through now and not much variety to them either.
     They have even ruined Heavy Metal now and replaced it with kids who look like choir boys but screech like the possessed lass off “The Exorcist”.
     I mean what the f**k is all that about!

269. “And don’t say Frankie Boyle.”

     I used to watch Jerry Sadowitz decades ago so I don’t need to watch Frankie Boyle.

     Jerry Sadowitz on Jimmy Savile in 1987

270. The technology we have now has made us lazy and complacent!

     It could be a funny game at Anfield tomorrow with the crowd on edge.
     It would just be Pardew’s luck to pull one out of the fire when he needs it with Liverpool having the jitters.

     If they get an early goal though, Pardew will have to put on a helmet and build an air raid shelter never mind a dug out!
     If it goes to plan though you can see Pardew on the receiving end of another humiliation.
     I still think Ashley will keep him on despite his record getting worse.
     It’s the bottom line for Ashley and a top ten finish will be easy enough to please him.
     I fully expect to see Pardew working in an increasingly toxic atmosphere next season with everything collapsing around him!

271. Worky, I have heard that before and i remember Louis Theroux confronting him on that documentary and he didn’t exactly deny it!

272. Looks like old Rolf is that depraved that tying a kangaroo down now is for other purposes.

273. joe hawkins says:
     May 10, 2014 at 5:53 pm

     “Coldplay make the Prog Rock Movement seem exciting and you can remember how bad it was getting then.”

     Some prog rock was great!

274. Joe: Rolf did leave himself open to a bit of ridicule. His most famous songs were “two little boys” and “tie me Kangaroo down”.

275. I am not sure that Ashley wont listen to the fans. Everybody says he is tone deaf when it comes to managers but he did sack Allardyce because of his terrible football, so why not Pardew? Ashley seems to me like he blows hot and cold on NUFC so he might get some enthusiasm again. I would, he must get sick of managing his tat shops no matter how rich they have made him. He’s a gambler and might just want to take another punt on NUFC.

276. GS, you forgot about Jake the peg with his extra leg, which only makes it worse LOL.

277. Aye Worky: Joe mentioned that. If I was the Barrister my closing statement would be “M’Lud, just look at his songbook, he is obviously guilty of something”.

278. RE Rolf:

     The story of the missing verse for ‘Tie Me Kangeroo Down, Sport” always makes me laugh.

     Let me Abos go loose, Lou
     Let me Abos go loose
     They’re of no further use, Lou
     So, let me Abos go loose.

     It’s so awful it’s bloody hilarious! What the hell was he thinking of? In any case, it should have been ‘Bruce’ – not ‘Lou’ :)

279. And Citeh have put up a banner of “This Charming Man”. I know it is a reference to The Smiths and The Smiths are from Manchester, but Morrissey’s lyrics mean nothing to nobody (anybody) but him:

     Punctured bicycle on a hillside desolate. Will nature make a man of me yet?

     When in this charming car this charming man…

     Why pamper life’s complexities when the leather runs smooth on the passenger seat – a jumped up pantry boy, who never knew his place, he said, return the rings, he knows so much about these things.

     SUMS UP PELLEGRINI, DON’T IT?

280. Darth: he didn’t really write that did he? He was probably repeating some song from the 19th century, right?

281. No, Rolf wrote it, GS.

     He also wrote ‘Sun Arise’ which Alice Cooper did a more than passable version of.

282. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tie_Me_Kangaroo_Down,_Sport

283. Changing times Darth. I bet a lot of people spoke like Rolf in Australia back in 1957. The Aussies are strange. They all feel they have to travel for 2 or 3 years to round out their life. Most of them shouldn’t, they would be much better suited sitting at home (he said, making a massive generalisation). When I have travelelled and met Aussies they always bitched about everything.

     I worked on a campsite in Munich once and the Aussies came in on buses. I asked them what they wanted from their European adventure – as one, they said “a beer belly”.

284. The other thing about Aussies: they don’t see the irony about saying “whinging poms”.

     I don’t think I have to point it out on here but I will anyway. They are whinging about people whinging.

285. GS says:
     May 10, 2014 at 9:36 pm

     “The other thing about Aussies: they don’t see the irony about saying “whinging poms”.”

     I’ve noticed that one as well, GS.

286. Aye, I’ve met a few of them professionally, GS. They’ve all been pretty decent folks.

     Another Rolf classic

     https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoUHjLlK8EI

     I used to love that one when I was a nipper :)

287. Further to my post @283: They said “a beer belly, mate” and that was just the women.

288. Darth: they are a strange lot, Aussies. In my experience they are good when they are not with other Aussies. I went on a 3 week trip to Egypt and half were Aussies. They all got together and tried to get the guide fired because they thought they weren’t having as much fun as the other group they were travelling with.

     They wrote a letter to the management to get a perfectly good guide fired. Me, my ex-wife and a few others wrote a letter to say they were full of sh@t and maybe it was the fact that they were on the trip that took some of the fun out of it. This was 25 years ago, and how could you not enjoy Egypt back then when there was a lull in the religion sh#t.

289. GS says:
     May 10, 2014 at 9:52 pm

     “Further to my post @283: They said “a beer belly, mate” and that was just the women.”

     Get your coat GS :-)

290. Not much football talk :) We have all given up. If he stays we will be in for another season of defending a 1-0 lead or getting hammered. That’s no good.

291. Worky: you didn’t ban Chuck did you? He will go to other boards if he cant complain on here, but I haven’t seen him there. Maybe he is a fair weather fan. I would have expected him to be f@cking gloating about Brendan though, even though nobody really questioned that he was good, just that he was unproven and a bit of a nob. He turned out to be quite a funny nob though, and if it wasn’t for the Chuckster I might have said nice things about Brendan.

     YNWA – – tomorrow anyway. Here’s hoping for the worst tomorrow and then the best in the long run.

292. GS says:
     May 10, 2014 at 10:20 pm

     “Worky: you didn’t ban Chuck did you?”

     I can’t have him calling my mates neo nazis, GS. I didn’t ban him straight away but he was still chuntering on about it after I finally banned him. He went too far.

293. My last Chuckerism. He had no sense of humour. He would say really bad things and then explain them as if he was making a joke (which he wasn’t, except in hindsight when he realised he was being a jerk). I really felt sorry for the guys he was having Amstel with in NYC.

     I once said there could be a community like feel on here and he said I was full of sh@t. Well, there can be a community like feel on here when he is not around. I really think there is a Geordie sense of humour that he doesn’t get.

     Anyway, it is a pity that you are not doing the match previews anymore.

     Oh God Worky: you could do such a great cynical Geordie bastard one for tomorrow’s game. One last kick in the balls for Pardew before he hopefully gets a kick up the ars@ on the way out.

294. You would think that someone who writes 3 NUFC blogs a day would know what they are talking about? Not so. Ed’s latest is quoting a paper and saying that ‘coz they say so that Pardew will remain as Manager. Maybe he will, but not because some hack says so. He also said that we are stuck with Ashley because he would want 300 million now whereas nobody would even pay 80 million in 2009. Notwithstanding that in 2009 we were in the 2nd division and there was the worst financial crisis in 70 years, I think Ashley wanted 80 million PLUS the assumption of his debt. Worky, you have to write a few more blogs because then I wouldn’t have to read Ed’s shite.

295. GS says:
     May 11, 2014 at 8:25 am

     “You would think that someone who writes 3 NUFC blogs a day”

     The uziblogger writes, or rather, he copies and pastes over 10 a day, GS. The content is absolutely awful, but that isn’t the point (except for the frequently misleading titles). It may as well just be forum on there.

296. Worky, No doubt the bands involved in “The Prog Rock” scene could play.
     I think that was the problem though, It got to the point of musical snobbery and arrogance.
     They were all “Hey, Look at us, We can really play well”!
     And they all seemed to be trying to outdo each other with longer and longer opus like pieces of music, Which ended up sounding like jam sessions.
     “Yes” were one of the biggest offenders and they used to do my head in.
     Pink Floyd seemed to get away with it because they were doing it before anyone else.

     Too many blogs on a site can be off putting as well because there ends up being loads of different conversations.
     You no sooner get involved in a topic when along comes another piece.
     Ed was murder for doing that and it used to get on you nerves.

297. Worky, I don’t mind stuff like Can-Mother Sky because it is more on the side of the Psychedelic thing and has a touch of “Shocking Blue” and “Jefferson Airplane” to it.
     You can drop a couple to this though and go on a kind of a journey, If you know what i mean lol

     Like i said previous it was the likes of “Yes” and “Emerson,Lake and Palmer” who done my stack.
     I liked “Ian Anderson” and “Jethro Tull” and thought they were good.
     From that era i preferred bands like “Free” and Power Trio’s like “Robin Trower” with the brilliant Jim Dewar R.I.P

298. Joe, I was more interested in German prog or “Krautrock” as it was sometimes known. I also find it quite ironic that some of the ‘coolest’ most influential bands ever were hairy 70s German prog hippies! Johnny Rotten may have once famously expressed his hatred of Pink Floyd in a T-Shirt, but he was actually influenced by bands like Can, the french prog band ‘Magma’ and others. Listen to Public Image Limited’s amazing ‘Metal box’ album.

299. Only a few hours to go and another season’s over with. Can we stand another one with Ashley? And if we can’t, what’s going to happen?

300. Denim, for men who dont have to try too hard.

301. Worky, I have heard of the “Kraut Rock” movement and remember seeing a bit of footage of a band on Musikladen or one of the other German shows.

     I think Ashley & Co will walk away from this train wreck of a season because the protests have come along too late.
     You know what our mob are like for their football and a summer without it maybe a case of “Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder”, And they have a renewed vigour for it.
     I think we will get our customary hiding by Liverpool but Pardew will be off to sunny climbs and go underground.
     Whether this will leave a festering wound or all will be forgotten remains to be seen.

     Hopefully the media will keep the pressure on Pardew and the regime, And fan protests gather a momentum so Pardew walks into a cauldron of hate for the first home game.
     Even if he gets a break they should keep on at him because we have to rid ourselves of a man who is propping up this regime and defending them at every turn.

302. If Pardew gets sacked, do you think they might do it at the worst possible time, when absolutely no one good was available or willing again? Ashley always has that terror threat up his sleeve. If Pardew is sacked, who on earth would a madman like Ashley choose next? A return to management from Big Ron Atkinson? the third coming of Kinnear? Peter Reid? Lee Clark if Birmingham sack him?

303. Happy days. Shola upfront on his own.

     Newcastle United (4-4-1-1): Tim Krul; Steven Taylor, Mike Williamson, Fabricio Coloccini, Massadio Haidara; Mathieu Debuchy, Vurnon Anita, Cheick Tiote, Yoan Gouffran; Moussa Sissoko; Shola Ameobi.

     Subs: Rob Elliot, Davide Santon, Paul Dummett, Lubomir Satka, Mapou Yanga-Mbiwa, Sammy Ameobi, Luuk de Jong.

304. Links:

     http://www.wiziwig.tv/broadcast.php?matchid=257295&part=sports

305. 3 center backs :) I think we can guess where this one is going. Finally, Pardew realises that Dummett is not very good.

306. What do we have to gain by playing 3 center backs and Shola? Why not start Sammy and M’Biwa? Pardew baffles me.

307. Stunned. How does he do it?

308. Shola is the new Gerrard.

309. I meant Pardew before. Shola’s been playing for a new 8 year contract.

310. where the fook has this team been the last month?

311. dokkyd says:
     May 11, 2014 at 3:48 pm

     “where the fook has this team been the last month?”

     Could say the same about you Dokky :-)

312. Well, normal service resumed. The usual abysmal defending from set pieces and then some comic relief from Shola.

313. haha worky, i moved and aint even had the internet, only just got it put in, pretty glad i havent had to watch it to be honest, normal service has been resumed

314. You see, Phil Dowd lost a bit of weight at the start of the season but now has his belly back. Unfortunately for us he continues to wear the same shirt which is now way too tight.

     Any decent team would have taken advantage of Liverpool being so flat. We manage to get 2 sent off after some encouraging signs.

315. I suppose having the season end in defeat and double disciplinary disgrace is only to be expected really.

     I haven’t been bothering with the site very much recently, Dokky. Good to see you on here again.

316. The sad fact is that was one of our better recent performances. The usual set piece debacles aside, we played OK, especially after the sendings off. Liverpool hardly created any chances from open play.

     It has come to something that I am happy at not getting thrashed. Pardew Out.

317. Liverpool were under immense pressure and it showed in the first half.
     Liverpool played into Pardew’s counter attack game plan in the same way Hull City did earlier in the season.
     We were right in it but the only way we were going to score was from a situation like an own goal.
     Sandie Shaw must have thought all his Birthday’s had come at once and that would have been his dream scenario, (Knackers words not mine)!

     You knew Pardew would try and sit on the one goal lead and do very little else.
     Rodgers who started off as Pardew’s apprentice and has now surpassed him in a few years brought on Coutinho and that was that basically!
     It’s been demonstrated time and time again Pardew’s ineptitude and resistance to do anything proactive.
     For someone who scribbles in that black book more than anyone else alive, The more he does it the less he seems to effect a game.

     Lets be honest though they were diving all over the shop and it’s a wonder you didn’t see judges holding up score cards!
     Coupled with two nothing sending offs and the misery was complete.
     If Liverpool hadn’t thrown away their 3 goal lead at Palace they would have smashed the granny out of us today!

     Fair play to our esteemed leader though for telling the truth for once.
     He said we couldn’t compete with Stoke City who went on to finish above us, So at least it’s start lol

     Doesn’t really matter in the end though because your Citeh’s of the World can keep their trophies because our spread sheets and bank balances make us World Beaters.
     We should have a proper open top bus parade through the City to display our cheques for 35 Million for Carroll and 19 million for Cabaye and all the other players we have sold like Enrique and open up cabinet so the public can have a look at the true triumph!

318. Just looked on Footymad’s site and according to one of the posters is Pardew has done one of his flounces and walked out on the interview.
     I don’t know whether Wendy was involved in the situation but it occurred when the extremely handsome, Debonair, Pulitzer prize winning Journalist Lee Ryder put some questions to him and apparently he didn’t like it, Oh well…

319. This was not the Champions League final where the ends might justify the means, it was a pretty much meaningless game for us and yet we played 3 f@cking center halfs and Shola.

     Can there be any more proof that Pardew is only concerned about his money and ego and plays such a soulless brand of football that we are all wasting our time watching it?

     The fact that Phil Dowd is incompetent doesn’t matter. We would still have found a way to lose even if Liverpool didn’t have the cheating fat c@nt’s help.

320. http://www.thickaccent.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/BnWgqn9CQAA_ipf.jpg

321. The result today was never going to matter. And how the team played today was never going to matter either as half of them will be gone next season.

     And we won’t be able to bring in anyone of any quality to fill the gaps because no one in their right mind will come to us – maybe a couple of sprogs looking for a start in the EPL.

     Add to that the fact that there’s actually a bonus to be paid (for finishing tenth, FFS!); Ashley’s sticking with Pardew; Charnley’s still rabbiting on about bringing in ‘one or two players’ a year; they’re still getting a 50,000ish sheep through the turnstiles every week – and that adds up to the bleakest finish to a season I can remember.

322. GS: I’ve trimmed that jpg and it’s now my desktop :)

323. Thinking of Sir John Hall’s comments recently to the effect that Ashleys’s stated reason for buying NUFC was “to market their sports goods in the Far East and [they]would use the club to help do this”:

     Why wouldn’t he build up the club to promote the brand? Why would he make us the poster boys for mediocrity then stick his company’s logo on everything from the roof to the sh|thouse doors?

     Honestly, he might be worth around £3bn but I reckon there’s more than a touch of Homer Simpson about Ashley.

324. I am watching the Athletico Madrid game and it reminded me so much of that Man U 0-1 loss in Keegan’s days in the first half. You know they are supposedly cursed, just like us? I didn’t want to say anything on here for fear of jinxing them even more. Then Malaga score. F@ckin’ Hell.

325. Well, I am glad I wrote that @324. They just scored, so I might have lifted the curse by comparing them to NUFC.

326. GS says:
     May 11, 2014 at 7:24 pm

     “I am watching the Athletico Madrid game and it reminded me so much of that Man U 0-1 loss in Keegan’s days in the first half. You know they are supposedly cursed, just like us?”

     GS, If you mean Athletico Madrid, they win trophies. Copa del rey, Europa League, UEFA Super Cup in the last few years.

327. Now this is entertainment. La Liga going down to the final day, with Barca going twist or bust. Real doing La Decima and the double or losing to their local rivals. Shakespeare couldn’t have written any more plot twists than this.

328. Worky @326: I do know that, good point :) I suppose I was thinking that if you don’t win the league of Champions League you are not really successful? Even Liverpool fans think they have underachieved and they have won many cups and even the Champions League in the last 10 years.

     You are right though – perhaps it was having to live up to the standards of Real that made me think they were unsuccessful.

     I was watching some stuff over here and they were saying Athletico were cursed. I am tainted by watching us, we are cursed.

329. Predictably Pardew is blaming Phil Dowd for not controlling the game so there is no surprise there.
     He reckons we have had a good season in terms of performance, How this idiot keeps his job is beyond me but unless Ashley has a look at the big picture we are in for more of the same.

330. Joe @329: I can think of only 3 games when we won and weren’t cr@p – Chelsea, Hull and Man U. Stokerly, f@ck Stokerly, they had 9 men.

331. Joe @329: For once, I agree with Pardew. If what Shola said is correct then Dowd shouldn’t be a Ref – even forgetting the fact that he is too fat and can’t run.

     I thought Refs were supposed to be the grown ups here and keep their emotions out of it. From what Shola said, Dowd acted out of spite at a throw away remark. He is a disgrace. I still don’t think it would have affected the result.

332. I just watched the Man City game. It didn’t take them long to give up on the Poznan celebration.

333. City just scored their second goal and the fans remembered they were supposed to do the Poznan when they score :) That is so lame, they copy another team’s celebration and then forget to do it, but then, wait, we forgot, we are supposed to do the Poznan when we score!!!

334. Man City are going to be expanding their stadium to 60,000 over the next couple of years. The new seats are £299 for a season ticket. Is it generous? Or do they still need to make it that cheap to fill it up even though they have brought the cream of the world’s footballers there now?

335. Worky: In fairness to City, they’ve always been able to put bums on seats – even when they were sh|te.

     And even if chubs brought down the season ticket price to £299, you’d still have to say the sheep were being robbed. It’s staggering to think that a regular gate of 50,000 for home games doesn’t get us any more than excuses as to why the transfer budget is so tight.

336. I think the Arab owners of City said a couple of years back that they would increase the capacity and make football affordable for all.

337. Joe, you should always bear in mind that the owners of Manchester City are lying, brutal, vicious, human rights abusing c**ts and people like that usually don’t do stuff like that out of the kindness of their hearts.

338. DarthBroon says:
     May 12, 2014 at 2:54 pm

     “Worky: In fairness to City, they’ve always been able to put bums on seats – even when they were sh|te.”

     Aye, I remember. Maine road, almost 20 thousand a geme in the third tier. On the other hand, they’ve had empty seats at a 48,000 stadium with a team like Real Madrid’s.

339. Worky. Apart from that they are canny lads lol

340. I just remember them say a couple of years back that they would like to build a huge stadium and charge low prices to get in.
     The thinking was the fan base would grow quickly with the mantra of affordable football and the need to hold onto fans throughout their life time.
     I think they were talking about a 100,000 seater stadium at one point.
     You can see the way the Etihad is built for the natural progression up to 60,000 behind each goal.

     The Stadium Of Light is geared up for further expansion but that will never be needed by the looks of things.
     We should have had a new stadium years ago and we are now going to get left behind again because fat boy will never deliver anything like that!

341. Funny enough the old joke about them having no fans used to do the rounds in that part of the World:

     “Why Has Man City not got as many fans as Man Utd ?,
     Because when they are young their mothers told them to keep away from the Maine Road”.

342. The Oligarchs and the Sheikhs seem to get little scrutiny from fans or press. I think someone on here said Abramovich basically stole his money by being a corrupt politician and is now running essentially forced labour camps. I doubt if the rest of the Russians are much different given the “land grab” that took place post communism.

     Of course, our fearless owner increases his margins by using far east sweat shops, but that is not much different to Apple.

     The Sheikh’s are a mass of contradictions wanting strict religious laws and the benefits of Western decadence. I just find it weird that the Citeh fans unfurled a banner with Mansour’s picture on it this weekend. I would be enjoying success while holding my nose if I were them.

     The funny thing about this is that ourselves (well Pardew) and Liverpool plead poverty. Liverpool are run by a billionaire hedge fund manager FFS and their fans still bleat.

     And arn’t the Premier League supposed to have a “fit and proper” test for owners. Well, the glorified middle manager types at the FA and Premier League wouldn’t want to rock the boat and jeopardize their massive salaries.

343. GS says:
     May 13, 2014 at 5:06 pm

     “The Oligarchs and the Sheikhs seem to get little scrutiny from fans or press. I think someone on here said Abramovich basically stole his money by being a corrupt politician and is now running essentially forced labour camps.”

     Going back to Yeltsin’s wild East, very roughly, he extorted his workers out of the shares they had been issued by the state for a fraction of their real worth. He did it by not paying their wages and leaving them to freeze and starve in places like Siberia. The workers eventually sold Abramovitch the shares they had been given for a fraction of their true worth just so they and their families could stay alive. That is what took him from being a multi millionaire to being a multi billionaire. He’s a cockroach.

344. Pardew is staying. The Tyneside Samaritans hotline will be engaged all day.

345. Pardew staying was nailed on and the pathetic Fans Forum outcome was predictable also.
     So it is business as usual throwing games because there is no money in it and all the other continued crap!

     It really comes down to a simple choice in the end because we might as well not exist as a Football Club with the attitude of this regime.
     They should even be investigated for match fixing because that is more or less what they are saying.

     Fans have to start to stay away from the club for good as it is the only way to force any kind of change.
     Anyone who is willing to put up with this has serious issues and will get no sympathy from me!

     I kind of glad Daft Pardew is staying in a perverse way because he will make a right balls up of proceedings!
     There is all the evidence there for Ashley to see the impending disaster while they rearrange chairs on the titanic.
     If they cannot see a steady decline and the rot set in then they deserve to suffer.
     At a fundamental level you have a manager who cannot motivate him team onto anything resembling a performance and this has steadily worsening over time.
     The good lord above only knows what levels of despair this bloke will take this club to next!

346. Sorry typos aplenty lol

347. How many were sucked into season tickets for another season in hell?

348. Well Sunderland will not be complaining because that is a six point start to the season for them!
     Lets be honest Pardew will never win another Derby game at this club!

349. NUFC is dead.

350. SJT, Too true i’m afraid!

     I honestly do not know where they are coming from with this talk which more or less identical to last seasons guff.
     Do they think that honesty is the best policy and the fans will understand somehow?
     Or are they just peddling the worst case scenario to dampen expectations?
     Because it is cack handed at best and you cannot hope to hold onto your fan base with this defeatist attitude they have going on
     They are basically asking fans to shell out money on a club that doesn’t want to achieve anything!
     Although i am never surprised by Ashley and his actions i find this as self destructive for them in the short and long term!

351. Pardew wants four or five in. I assume that is total and includes replacements. If so, that will leave us with an even smaller squad than this season as I think we will at least lose:

     Shola
     Ben Arfa
     Marveaux
     de Jong
     Remy
     Obertan
     Gosling

     Maybe Debuchy, Santon, Krul and Taylor as well.

     94% have renewed their season tickets. They have no clue who they will be supporting personnel wise. Sunderland and to a lesser extent Spurs, showed it is difficult to make wholesale changes in the premier league.

     The French experiment looks like it is being reined in and the mutterings are to buy British. So, Pardew’s reward for the terrible second half is to have MORE say in transfers. He managed to alienate our flair players because he didn’t know what to do with them. I hope I am wrong, but we might end up with some British or Dutch cloggers so Pardew will play his preferred style – The Big Sam way. The difference is that Allardyce’s teams actually score from set pieces.

     It is going to take a f@cking miracle for us to survive unless we get a few more than 4 or 5 in. They repeated the mantra of “not overpaying” so I am not holding my breath.

352. “Not being held to ransom” over a player as they usually say.

353. Maybe the kid Armstrong will save us. He is supposedly special but I have never really seen him as Pardew brought on Shola in a lost cause and played Armstrong for 2 minutes.

     I know my list had 2 loanees and 3 players that hardly saw any playing time in the 2nd half of the season. But the fact remains that we did sh@t in the second half of the season and even then Pardew didn’t use his full squad. Do we trust him not to fall out with other players next year? He probably had ben Arfa running laps to work on his stamina because he knew he would be chasing the ball and wasting his talent.

     My guess is they are thinking 4 or 5 first teamers (formerly known as Purples), but they will settle for 3 and a couple of loanees. The justification is that they want to give youth a chance (see above) and that those that left were peripheral anyway. They would have a point, but that is only because they weren’t good enough when they were bought on the cheap (Obertan, Gosling, de Jong) or Pardew didn’t know what to do with them (ben Arfa and Marveaux). Marveaux was even injured when we bought him and ben Arfa was perceived as a trouble maker – all part of the “Let’s Make a Deal” transfer policy.

     Lastly, will Ed be taking that “in Carr we Trust” shirt off his website now?

354. No way these toe rags will buy British because of the inflated prices.
     The only way this will happen is if they start trying to buy from the lower leagues for players who are 300,000 grand and the like!

     I wonder if Pardew will somehow disappear one day like “The Iraqi Minister Of Information” who kept telling the media everything was okay.
     Hopefully one day we will wake up and he just won’t be there anymore…

355. I wonder if they came up with the idea of “Purples” because they are all a bunch of tight fisted w*nkers?

356. How you keeping Joe?
     Ashley OOT !!

357. joe hawkins says:
     May 16, 2014 at 1:17 pm

     “I wonder if Pardew will somehow disappear one day like “The Iraqi Minister Of Information” who kept telling the media everything was okay.
     “Hopefully one day we will wake up and he just won’t be there anymore…”

     Like Derek Llambias? Thing is they usually find one of the very few people who are even more unpopular. In the end, Newcastle United will be run by a team of Kim Jong Un, Ayman al Zawahiri and Mike Ashley.

358. SJT, Fair to middling, Hows yourself?

359. Got a short break from working away and been catching up on the blog and the news.

     I continue to be amazed at the massive gap between the views of people who contribute on this blog (myself included) who feel that renewing season tickets in the current climate is madness, and the news that the season ticket renewal rates are about 94 percent.

     When I started reading about the demonstrations etc I had some hope, that something might change. This hope has now evaporated with the news that Ashleys pocket is entirely unaffected.

     “business as usual then”. I really do fail to understand why so many people are renewing with the clubs current stance on what it is they want to achieve.

     The knock on effect is which “good” player would want to come to a club for a knockdown price with no ambition?.
     I despair. !

     Relegation fodder next season I fear.

360. Worky, That Kim Jong Un just looks like a puppet and the military are running the show there.
     They have got to a point where they have to keep up the cult because they will all get bumped off the way they have treated the people.

     That’s just my opinion on what that country looks like now.
     It seems like it has lost itself and has to carry on with the sham with it’s crappy threats to The World now and again.
     I don’t know how much longer they will be able to keep it up before the people turn because the young’un looks p*** weak!

361. Joe, your view of Kim Jong Un and North Korea is exactly the same as your view of Alan Pardew, Mike Ashley and Newcastle United.

362. DissilusionedToon says:
     May 16, 2014 at 5:25 pm

     “I continue to be amazed at the massive gap between the views of people who contribute on this blog (myself included) who feel that renewing season tickets in the current climate is madness, and the news that the season ticket renewal rates are about 94 percent.”

     Mike Ashley’s a billionaire retailer though, Disillusioned. He knows how to draw them in just enough to grab their money off them when it comes to the crunch.

     Good to hear from you again after all this time.

363. DissilusionedToon says:
     May 16, 2014 at 5:25 pm

     “…and the news that the season ticket renewal rates are about 94 percent.”

     There’s always the chance that this will turn out to be a pack of lies – or at least an exaggeration. It’s staggering to see there’s so many SHEEP among us. Some people just don’t know when they’re being taken for a ride.

     As for us going down next season – so be it. If the sheep are happy bobbing around in mid-table, they won’t be quite so chuffed about seeing us in the Championship. And chubs won’t be happy with his company’s logo plastered all over the ground of a side in the second tier (then again, he seems content with having Shorts Direct associated with us at the moment, as mediocre as we are, so who knows what his take on things would be).

364. Newcastle United is worth next to nothing to Ashley and Sports Dire in the Championship, Darth, not compared with the Premiership anyway.

365. We have become Stoke, except Stoke spend money. Content in mid-table mediocrity and anonymity. The domestic cups and Europa league will be sacrificed for the sake of the bottom line.

     I never really got how this helps Ashley’s tat Brand as you would think an exciting team in a high profile competition would help, regardless of prize money? It must all be about economics and marginal cost. The marginal cost of getting us to the next level must be too high for Ashley as he gets his free advertising and drains what he can from revenue.

     Still, I dont get sticking with Pardew as he has proven he can send us into a tailspin (twice) and can ruin all of Ashley’s best laid plans. As Worky said, a Championship team is no use to Ashley.

     F@cking Hull, Swansea, Wigan and Sunderland can reach cup finals. It seems easier than ever to get to a cup final as the bigger teams concentrate on Champions League. How wouldn’t the tat brand be enhanced if we went to one? Oh, it is what happens next. Then we would have to invest in the squad for a European campaign.

     It is sad really. If we are to be mid-table and have no ambitions in the cups, do we also have to put up with Pardew’s brand of anti-football? 94% say yes.

366. GS says:
     May 17, 2014 at 2:09 pm

     “We have become Stoke, except Stoke spend money. Content in mid-table mediocrity and anonymity. The domestic cups and Europa league will be sacrificed for the sake of the bottom line.”

     Didn’t Stoke get into a cup final fairly recently though?

367. On cup finals, you need the luck of the draw to go deep. The sad thing is that we have mostly had the luck of the draw – Brighton twice, Stevenage, Cardiff. Yeah, I know Man City. We even beat Chelsea reserves against reserves but that was a fluke.

368. Worky, did Stoke get into a final? I can’t recall. That only makes things worse because it would have been with Pulis and his one trick pony routine of long throws at the time.

     (I haven’t watched enough of Palace to know if he has changed his approach).

369. You are right as usual Worky. Stoke were FA cup finalists in 2011. Pompey and Cardiff have also been recently and during Ashley’s tenure as our owner. That’s depressed me even more :)

370. I am watching Barca/Athletico anyway and recording the Cup Final :)

371. GS says:
     May 17, 2014 at 2:18 pm

     “On cup finals, you need the luck of the draw to go deep.”

     Hull had the luck of the draw, Sunderland was the Premier League team they faced. Arsenal had a succession of other top teams to beat though. If they win they would have earned it.

372. Worky: I meant luck of the draw in our case. The elite teams like Arsenal always have a chance whoever they face.

     I still don’t get how a cup run would hurt us. How many extra games to get to a final is it, 4? You don’t count the 3rd round game as you have to play that anyway even if you are knocked out. It makes no sense not to target the FA cup. It is not like Europe with the Group stages, possibly Thursday games and travel to unfamiliar places.

     It is downright illogical not to target the FA Cup given the feel good factor that can go along with it. People mention Wigan getting relegated but they had a thin squad and no goalscorers so I think they are the exception. Same with Birmingham, they had a timid manager, so there are extenuating circumstances, I think.

     I haven’t looked at it in too much detail so you might disagree. But only 4 extra games to win a cup. That is highly unlikely to impact our season. Our Owner and Manager must think we are stupid to swallow their BS. Kuntz.

373. Hull take the lead in the final, Scratch that it is 2-0 to Hull!

374. Hull will be crapping themselves now as they will surely go down having been in the final because Ashley and his crack team of experts say so!
     Mutha F**ka’s have never been right from day one!

375. I just checked and it is 5 extra games to win the FA cup. That’s nowt unless there is absolutely no squad rotation.

     We would probably even be content with a semi-final at this point anyway.

376. Oh, and the FA cup final is after the season ends, so that is only 4 extra in-season games. As I said, our management are really thinking we are all stupid.

     Amazing Barca goal. I really hope Athletico get something out of this season, but it may be heartbreak, especially with the injuries they have suffered today.

377. Here’s something for you Worky. Before the final game some Journalists were calling Man City “Champions Elect” even though Liverpool could still be champions. You would think that highly educated journalists would know what they are talking about. The “elect” status in politics comes from the fact that elections are held in November but the President doesn’t take office until January. Using “elect” status in football would only possibly make sense after a team mathematically secures the title. I am not even sure if it would apply here either as they can be crowned champions early, can’t they?

     It is another example of journalists trying to be smart but really not knowing what they are talking about.

378. GS says:
     May 17, 2014 at 5:55 pm

     “You would think that highly educated journalists…”

     Highly educated journalists? Where? We’re not discussing Robert Fisk’s coverage of the Middle East, we’re discussing people like Anal Oliver, Lee Ryder and Louise Taylor.

379. The Heed are the architects of their own downfall losing 2-0 now ffs!
     You could see it coming a mile away though with conceding 18 headed goals this season.
     They are clearly the better footballing side and Cambridge are a bunch of cloggers who have just played to their strengths.

     No surprises the first came from a good cross into the box which wasn’t defended and they scored with a free header.
     The Heed’s skipper gave away a free kick just right of centre of the d and a “Geordie” Donaldson stepped up and smashed a cracking shot into the bottom right hand corner.

     It is now 2-1 yipppeeee!

380. Useless cnuts blew it!
     I have never seen a football team hit the first man as much as Gateshead did today.
     What is it with modern footballers not being able to cross a ball?
     They bossed possession and really should have won the game but fair play to Cambridge they took their chances when they came.
     Gateshead had a chance right at the death to equalize with Curtis just putting it wide.

     Only have themselves to blame though and could have been playing with nine men after some ridiculous actions by Oster and Maddison in the first half.
     The best team lost in all honesty but Gateshead were really poor in the final third.

     At least i have found the level Alan Pardew should be operating as a manager and it is Non League without a shadow of a doubt!

381. joe hawkins says:
     May 18, 2014 at 6:08 pm

     “I have never seen a football team hit the first man as much as Gateshead did today.
     “What is it with modern footballers not being able to cross a ball?”

     But at least it was Gateshead doing it, you might expect that. It’s wasn’t Obertan doing it in the Premier League.

382. Worky, Gateshead should have won that game yesterday against a poor Cambridge side who looked like they were “Pardewed”!

     I know Gateshead are Conference standard but crossing a football is a fundamental part of the game.
     At all levels of the game now you see teams constantly hitting the first man when trying to cross.
     We were taught when we were young to take your man on and when you get that little step ahead of him you whip it in to the box.
     For some reason they don’t do that now and they either try to change foot or end up going backwards.
     They are try to walk the ball into the net which is making for some frustrating viewing.

     The only thing i can think of is the defenders are a lot fitter than the early 80’s players i was weaned on.
     Gone are the days when you could skin a fat John Bailey who had too many pies and pints.
     The players must be that fit now that an attacking player finds it too hard to get away from them.

     There is a lad i know who used to work for one of the universities somewhere down the country.
     He ended up meeting some sports professor who he got talking to.
     The subject ended up getting around to football and this professor who is an expert in sports sciences or something like that, Reckons modern footballers are too fit for the sport.
     This professor reckons you only need to have a certain level of fitness to play the beautiful game.
     He was comparing boxers, Rugby League and Union players who get their bodies into shape to take big hits and punishment to the body which is required.
     This professor reckons because of the nature of football with the actual ball doing the work you don’t have to be a highly developed athlete to play the game like other sports.
     He seems to think footballers are over trained to the point that their muscles are too tight and that is how there are so many injuries, Especially torn ligaments and hamstrings etc

383. According to “The Chronicle” Shola is on his way to Hull City which would be a better move than i thought he would have had available to him.
     Good luck to him if he can agree a deal with them because i thought he might have ended up in “The Championship” or lower.
     That has surpassed my expectation of where he might have ended up if it is true.

384. Joe, are they just saying that because Hull already have an ex NUFC ‘senior’ with Harper? That’s the way a hack’s mind works usually when they have to knock out a story for the sake of it.

385. There’s one of the NUFC sites that keeps a running total of transfer links for us. I think their f@cking heads will splode this year with all the people leaving, the World Cup and Shola’s new employment.

386. We are Sunderland now. The fat man and Alan have made us a team that nobody cares about, isolated in the North. Our Gallic mercenaries are leaving to be replaced by equally mercenary Jonjo’s. It will be interesting to see if the players that were Pardewed will ever get their mojo back?

387. Further signs that the nationals are finally taking an interest in the goings on at the toon under Ashley:

     http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/what-point-supporting-newcastle-united-3562279

     Best article yet, I’d say.

388. Worky, It is all hearsay during silly season but it would be a good move for him if it was true.
     I’ll be honest i was surprised when i seen it and could be a way of drumming up interest by certain parties who will then give him an extension and herald him like a new signing!

     Darth, I read that one the other day and it is hard to disagree with any of it.
     At least the media are starting to put this regime under the microscope who have had a relatively easy ride in the last few years.

     There are reports about this youngster Ayoze Perez about to put pen to paper.
     This kid has bee plying his trade in the second division of Spain.
     Forgive me for being cynical but we got Amalfitano from the second division of France and that was hardly a roaring success.
     Lest we not forget Xisco the gay cowboy who was much maligned during “Keegangate” and rarely did anything in the shirt apart from maybe lift a few by reports lol.

     Does anyone know anything about this kid because i have never heard of him apart from his name cropping up earlier in the season.
     The way the club is going are we about to come full circle and repeat the same mistakes of when we went down.
     Could Perez become the new Ignacio Gonzalez who could create another catalyst to force another kind of change?

     I just hope this kid hasn’t been recommended by some youngster who walks dogs for a living.
     Those were the days when we appointed a steward from Chelsea and catapulted him into the high echelons of a football club, A certain Tony Jimenez lol.

389. All good Joe cheers : )

     You UziBlogging next season Worky?
     Keep us upto date on the relegation struggle?

390. SJT, Just trying to do my bit lol

     FFS, I sound like someone off “Starship Troopers” although Ashley is running something along the lines of that very film!

391. According to Tenerife the deal is almost done to bring Ayoze Perez to Newcastle.
     He trained with his club this morning and Barrack Road is keeping schtum but apparently it’s a done deal around the 2 million mark.
     I am not so sure about the kid and i have a bad feeling about this being an omen for things to come.

392. I have had a look at him on a Youtube scouting video and i hope to God Ashley and Co are not up to their tricks of signing players on the basis of watching them on dodgy grainy videos.
     We all know they have form for this kind of thing and that was the catalyst for “Keegangate”.
     I just hope they are not taking this kid as a sweetener like Gonzalez.

     The lad looks pretty pacy and seems to thrive on long balls and that sweeping counter attack style so there are no surprises of why Walter Mitty wants him in his side.
     This lad is playing on his island though and looks in his element.
     You take him away from the sun shine and paradise and bring him to the hail and snow of a Tyneside winter and you could be looking at another potential dud.
     Added to the fact of the inferior opposition he is up against and what he would come up against here, It is a risk to say the least!

     Is he being bought as someone to come straight in to the first team or the development squad?
     Because he looks like someone who will need a lot of time to settle in and get used to the English game.

     For 2 million pound it is not bad for a player who may have potential but if this is being done as a replacement for Remy or even Shola then we are playing with fire!
     If this is part of Walter Mitty’s grand plan then i am not very impressed to be honest.
     We need good calibre signings who can come in and do a job straight away.
     If this is the road we are going down judging by the price paid then this could be one almighty nail in the Pardew coffin before a ball is even kicked!

     If this lad is that good then why are more prominent Spanish clubs not interested in him?

393. Darth @387: Pards must have convinced Chubby that we have too small a squad to go after a cup. WE DO, ACTUALLY. Because the stupid tw@t won’t play ben Arfa, Marveaux and M’Biwa. And insisted on playing Dummett, Shola and Gosling.

     I mean, what is the point of playing players that are about to leave when we were safe from relegation?

394. Any team with Shola, Gosling and Dummett in it will be cr@p. Joe said he was shocked that Shola might get a job above the 2nd division, Gosling goes on holiday to the South Coast and I wouldn’t be surprised if Dummett goes on loan to St Mirren next year.

     That’s a quarter of our outfield team that Pards started in meaningless games. FFS if you know that Shola is leaving, start Sammy or ben Arfa.

395. Well it least his name gives you something to lampoon if he turns out to be another Xisco.
     I mean how long will it be before he is known as Dozy Perez or something similar?

396. Another NUFC website is asking whether Shola should get a testimonial – of course he should, and they pretty much say that too.

     He is not Shearer and he only ever played well against Mackems and in Europe. But that is OK for me, don’t play him every week Pards. Luckily, the go-to 65 minute substitution will be taken out of Pards’ hands. If Pards still has a job, he might have to do some f@cking tactics now…

     Erm, we’re down 1 nowt, Tim, kick it up to Shola who will flick it on to no-one in particular. 2-0. He is good at penalties though.

397. If they give him want he wants then we should change the name of it to a “Testimoanial” because like most of his career he has divided opinion.

     I don’t think he is a bad player rather than his style does not suit the Premier League.
     There is no surprise to me that his record in Europe is good because that football compliments his game.
     If Shola had of played in France for instance he would have done really well.
     The slower paced games would have seen him shine more and it’s his distinct lack of pace in the English game that finds him out!

398. sirjasontoon says:
     May 21, 2014 at 1:55 pm

     “You UziBlogging next season Worky?
     Keep us upto date on the relegation struggle?”

     I’ve been getting into one of my old hobbies / livings recently in my spare time, classic watches. I might get into repairing and selling them again.

     Lets just say I’m confused about the future right now and don’t know what it holds for me (apart from death obviously like all of us). :-)

399. “I don’t think he is a bad player rather than his style does not suit the Premier League.”

     One name to throw into a Shola discussion to provide some context is another big frontman who usually got it in the neck for not scoring very much, but often played a role as a big lump creating havoc so the other striker who did (Shearer, Owen etc) could move in and pick up the pieces. Of course I’m referring to Emile Heskey.

400. : ) Cool Worky whatever you do – do it good is my motto.

401. Worky, I blame the T.V show “They Think It’s All Over” for Heskey getting as much stick as he did.
     It started on there with Rory Mcgrath who used to put the boot into him every chance he got.
     Although i will never forget the identify the Sports Star round by drawing pictures in which Mcgrath drew a golf club and a pair of tits to which his team correctly identified Colin Montgomery lol

     Had a quick look at The Chronicle to see what is occurring at Mike Ashley’s “Ponzi Scheme” of a Football Club.
     Apparently Lazio’s Stefan Radu’s name has been mentioned and it’s about time a Centre Half’s name made the rumour mill instead of strikers.
     We could definitely do with another central defender even if it is paper talk because that’s all we have at Newcastle United under squire Ashley’s tenure!

402. David Moyes has been arrested for assaulting a 23 year old.

403. That means hitting a gadgie, not sexually assaulting someone BTW.

404. Worky:

     Here is the description of the bar from The Guardian report

     “The Moor Lane bar, in the fashionable centre of Clitheroe, bills itself as “half coffee shop, wine bar and brasserie; half interior design superstore”, offering “an unique, intoxicating lifestyle experience”.

     It adds: “Our descriptions are in plain English and reassuringly free of pretentious waffle. We hope there is something for everyone on the wine list. Some of the selections are a little obscure but they certainly reward the adventurous with their quality and value.”

     So,

     1. How can a bar call itself free of pretentious waffle when they are full of pretentious waffle – HALF COFFEE SHOP, WINE BAR AND BRASSARIE, HALF INTERIOR DESIGN SUPERSTORE?

     2. What part of half do they not understand? If they are Half coffee shop, wine bar a brasserie – wouldn’t that make it 16 and a 32rds of each if they were to fit in the totally unpretentious sounding “interior design superstore”.

     3. I think the 23 year old and Moyes should both be arrested for being in Clitheroe in a shite place.

405. 2/3rds – I am falling into the trap of criticizing others and making mistakes myself.

406. The sad thing about this day and age is you have to look twice when the David Moyes story came to light.
     With so many characters getting done for noncing up leaving you with your head spinning, You don’t know what to think!

     Probably some young’un giving him stick about getting the Roberta Flack from Manure so he digged him lol

407. Well, I don’t know how the Police will sort out Moyes-gate. Everything with a hint of scandal gets a “gate” attached to it over here.

     I have read 3 reports and each has a different story – one has Moyes grabbing the guy by the neck and pushing him into tables, another said he pushed him and the 3rd (the Mail) said he hit him with the bottle.

     It sounds like Moyes overreacted, whatever the full story. However, the stories say Moyes reacted to the guy giving him some stick about Man U and having a bit of banter. Since when has being a pr!ck been banter? I know that there is a culture at football matches of taunting, but the guy’s Mum says he doesn’t even like football.

     I don’t know who is the bigger idiot in this case but it is taking my mind off the non-events at NUFC.

408. The Chronicle understands that Shola Amoebi will be leaving the club when his contract expires.
     So after 14 years of service it is finally over for the much maligned striker.
     I thought he might have got his year extension which Parnocchio was pushing for.
     So they have landed the first blow to puppet boy and along with that Remy and De Jong have also left the club.

     Apparently Remy wasn’t interested in staying at the club which is understandable if we’re honest.
     So much for Parnocchio saying they were doing their best to sign him.
     Alan wouldn’t tell any lies as he has always been honest during his stint.
     No wonder this coward keeps his job the amount of times they make him look stupid and weak!

     This club at one time would have had no problem in signing and keeping hold of players like Remy and Cabaye and just shows how far we have fallen under this parasites tenure.

     Of course Parnocchio had to pipe up on the club website to thank Shola for his loyalty etc.
     That man never misses an opportunity to a**ecrawl and curry favour.
     Why doesn’t he just give up because no one can stand him and his constant smarm and lies?

409. GS, Just to ramp it up even further the alleged victim has come out with a predictable over the top statement about how he though he was going to die ffs!

410. Joe: Pards is being rewarded for a half season of mediocrity and half season of utter shite with a full blown purge of our gallic hordes. We have Remy, ben Arfa, Amalfatino, M’Biwa, Hadiara, Marveaux, Obertan and possibly even Sissoko on their way out. This, after our main play maker is gone (not to mention Shola and de Jong).

     I have said this before, but it might be time for Ed to take that “in Carr we Trust” t-shirt down from his website :)

     Pardew now has the power. F@ck knows why a supposedly savvy businessman cannot see his incompetence. It is demonstrated every week from the ineptitude of us converting and defending corners to the fact that Carver and Stone still have jobs.

     I may be sounding like a broken record, but I don’t think so. Before there was a bit of hope that the talented Frenchies might make up for Pardew’s total lack of leadership and coaching ability. Now all we have to look forward to is a bunch of British cloggers.

     I suppose the Frenchies have not lived up to their reputations, but my guess is that has a lot to do with bad coaching – these guys were full internationals before they came here.

     If history is any guide – Reading, Southampton, Charlton, West Ham – Pardew will have about as much success with the journeymen Brits as he had with the talented Frenchmen. And if they are so crap, then why is he taking credit for a successful (points wise) first half of the season when he played a lot of them?

411. The ben Arfa situation is a complete joke and a microcosm of Pardew’s management “skills”. He plays him and he changes a few games, but then has a bad game or two so he sits him for not tracking back. He praises him for having a “mature attitude” and then does all he can to annoy the guy. One minute he is saying ben Arfa is a game changer, the next he is playing Obertan, Shola or Gosling ahead of him and having him train with the reserves. No wonder ben Arfa got a strop on.

     ben Arfa is better off away from this club, and us as fans will be the worse for it. I am not saying he is Messi, but he is a hell of a lot more entertaining than de Jong or Shola.

412. Do we have any direction at all?

     Pards is rewarded with more power after the 2nd worst 2nd half of the season (only Cardiff were worse, and coincidentally they were one of the very few teams we could beat)

     Kinnear is hired and fired from probably the second most important job at the club.

     Charnley, a glorified accountant, is now boss of the boardroom.

     Seemingly, two thirds of Carr’s hires will be dumped.

     Shola starts or comes on ahead of a promising youngster. If you knew he wasn’t being offered a new contract then what is the point of playing him in meaningless games?

413. What’s an “intoxicating lifestyle experience?” It’s just meaningless verbal garbage which could be lots of totally different things. Being a heroin addict or an alcoholic is more of an intoxicating lifestyle experience than looking at curtains.

414. Remember the five year plan of moving forward to get to the Champions League at the end of the day? Or changing the ground name, or firing Joey Barton after he was player of the year. Or hiring and firing Keegan or letting Shearer hire Dowey.

     It sometimes seems that Ashley is deliberately doing what would make NUFC fans most unhappy. Like he has some malevolent bent and puts up ways to annoy NUFC fans this week on a dart board and randomly throws darts at them like he is at one of those stands at the Toon Moor. The fans have about as much chance of winning anything other than a goldfish. Yes, this week I will give Pardew more power, completely change direction and everything we have said for 7 years and get rid of the fans favourite player.

415. It’s just that he’s made billions with Sports Direct and he’s going to run newcastle United as a cheap and nasty subservient enterprise to that with a bit of an earner picking up players cheap and selling them for a profit on the side. Obviously that isn’t what we want though.

416. Worky @413: I thought you would appreciate that. Who writes this stuff? It is like they intentionally come up with phrases that have no meaning except to Tony Blair and Alistair Campbell.

     The name Clitheroe always made me think of flat caps and Lowry paintings. Now it has an upscale downtown and enotecas for the pretentiously unpretentious.

417. GS, You only have to look at the second last home game against Crystal Palace where Ben Arfa pin point crosses the ball onto Cisses head.
     They win 1-0 and that’s what Hatem brings to the team, It’s just a shame that a p*** poor excuse for a manager cannot see the wood for the trees!

     NUFC.COM are reporting nine players confirmed as leaving the club:
     Shola Amoebi.

     Loic Remy.

     Luuk De Jong.

     Dan Gosling.

     Conor Newton.

     Michael Richardson.

     Steven Logan.

     Brandon Miele.

     Jonathan Mitchell.

     Some of them have not been involved in the first team and some are not up to snuff but that is a lot of players to lose and replace.

     I don’t know what will happen with Ben Arfa but i expect he will be offloaded to the highest bidder.
     This has all the hallmarks of last summer when we lost a lot of players and we all know what happened there!

     I don’t what puppet boy is going to do without anyone to bail him out of the brown stuff next season, Because i cannot see us signing anyone of any kind of note!

418. Joe: that list are the ones that are confirmed to be leaving. We all know he has frozen out ben Arfa, Marveaux and Obertan. In addition, he doesn’t know what to do with M’Biwa and plays Dummett ahead of Hadaira.

     I don’t want to be too critical of Dummett but he seems to be left upfield a lot for a defender and hits the first man every time for a free kick and corner taker. He must be really good in training, because I don’t see what they see in him on match day.

     Will we even have a squad next year? Or are Jonjo Shelvy and Fabian Delph coming to the rescue (they are not that bad but I am not sure if they are better than what we have)?

     So it’ll be 13 out and 3 in :) Will make not going for it in cup games seem validated.

419. I forgot about Jonas. With Steven Taylor also possibly moving, plus Coloccini constantly crying about Argentina until he sees his bank balance go up every month, and Williamson hawked to the Championship last year, I am not sure if we will have many players at all.

     Oh, and Krul and Santon are always rumoured to be leaving to Turin, Milan or Rome.

     And Debuchy was named in the European top XI.

     So, by my count that leaves us with Sammy, Tiote, Anita, Gouffran and Ryan Taylor as the fit senior players. Good luck with that fat man. I know chubs is a gambler, but it seems he will be rolling the dice with Mr. Pardew placing the bets.

420. I’m not missing Newcastle United games at all now the close season has started. I’m actually pleased that the season is over and I don’t have to sit though the games at the weekend and I know I’m not the only one.

421. Jonas is the living breathing embodiment of Mike Ashley’s tenure at Newcastle.
     He came in cheap under dodgy circumstances and had to buy himself out of his contract at Mallorca.

     Another player who is a case of you get what you pay for and one of Pardew’s favourites until the puppet master put the block on him because of a clause in his contract.
     There is no doubt Parnocchio would have carried on playing him if the contract problems hadn’t arisen.

     Another ineffective player who Parnocchio likes because he doesn’t question him and runs down blind alleys!
     Another player who demonstrates Ashley’s pathetic transfer policy does not work and has gone into Shola territory when fans will argue his loyalty to the club over actual ability!

422. workyticket says:
     May 24, 2014 at 11:38 am

     “I’m actually pleased that the season is over and I don’t have to sit though the games at the weekend and I know I’m not the only one.”

     No. You certainly aren’t :)

     I wonder if the sheep forking out for season tickets and the other punters turning out week after week view the closed season as a pleasant break from being ripped off. Or, do they even notice. Or, do they even care.

423. Against all odds, this has to be the worst Champions League final I’ve seen for 10 years – just come to life in 5 mins of time added on. Hope extra time is worth watching.

424. Darth: I am guessing you didn’t watch the Chelsea smash and grab, or Man U/Barcelona where it was only ever one team in it.

     I thought Bale was having a bit of a ‘mare and then he scores the winning goal. If there was ever any doubt about Ronaldo’s ego then the muscle flexing and posing in front of a worldwide audience put paid to that. He put his shirt on for the restart and then took it off again for good measure.

425. The only form of entertainment that exists at St James’ Park is watching Alan Pardew’s constant “Houdini Act”!
     They have killed the ambition and the enthusiasm of the club and the fans altogether!
     So anyone now buying or renewing their tickets is basically only signing up to watch one man constantly dodge the bullet.
     If people find that entertaining along with his Iraqi “Minister Of Information” routine then hand over your cash!

     That is the only source of entertainment which is on offer so lets us see how many people want to pay for the privilege.

426. We have no idea what team we will start the season with. It is impossible for them to get rid of all of the players that are being talked about. But that is terrible psychology because we will be stuck with disgruntled players who knew they were being peddled around Europe like so much tat from back of the fat man’s van.

     I find it astonishing that they are giving Pardew all the rope to hang himself with after the past two seasons. It is basically a vote of no-confidence in Carr and doubling down on Pards. Steve Sidwell?

427. GS, The daft thing about this whole sorry situation is if Pardew is given more say in who comes in this will only hasten his departure imo.
     Any team in which Pardew has a hand in putting together will struggle even more than the players brought in by Carr.

     At least in the past he has had players like Ben Arfa, Ba, Cabaye, Remy, Cisse etc, Who have basically pulled him out of the clarts from time to time.
     The mind boggles to think what kind of mess he will make if he is left to his own devices!

428. QPRs wage bill is bigger than Atletico Madrid’s according to the BBC.

429. Worky, I have heard over the last few days that our turn over is bigger than Athletico’s.
     They have won the league containing two of the World’s biggest clubs yet we are told we cannot achieve anything.
     It’s not about spending absolute fortunes but good recruitment and i think we forget this at times.

430. Joe, I it was £100 million, then just under £125 million, so a little bit more than Newcastle, but tiny in comparison with the really big clubs in Europe. Their stadium’s about the same size as SJP. It’s like that story wotsisname did about Spurs, where he showed them overtaking and pulling well ahead of Newcastle in the years since Ashley’s been here.

431. joe hawkins says:
     May 26, 2014 at 4:43 pm

     “It’s not about spending absolute fortunes but good recruitment and i think we forget this at times.”

     No one’s forgotten anything, Joe. Certainly not Ashley. You need to actually WANT to WIN something. When you WANT to BUILD something of consequence, you recruit the right people for the job.

     Ashley’s got exactly the personnel HE needs to do what HE wants – people who’ll sit on their hands while he creams off the profits that the club generates, raking in the gate money, the TV money, and the profits from selling any player that makes an impact for us (thereby leaving is in the sh|t).

432. A story coming out of France in L’equipe this morning concerning Loic Remy.
     Remy says he wasn’t injured for Newcastle’s last game against Liverpool and didn’t want to play as there was nothing to play for, And didn’t want to risk himself.
     Pardew agreed with him and let him stand down for the day!

     It just goes to show how spineless Pardew is and it would only happen at Newcastle United.
     I couldn’t imagine an Alex Ferguson or even Fat Sam putting up with that type of attitude.

     Worky, I never really looked into it myself and was just told in passing by someone i know.
     The figures there though show not much between them and demonstrate that Ashley and Co are definitely are “At The Hurry Up”!

     Darth, How many times have clubs paid big fees only for the players to monumentally flop?
     In this corporate World which Football now finds itself we are constantly bombarded with crap about not being able to compete money wise etc

     Clubs like Athletico show it can be done without spending loads of cash.
     Was there not a cheaply assembled Dortmund side that also did well recently?
     Granted if you have the cash you are in a better position to buy the top players but they cannot buy them all and the rest have to play for someone.
     Good recruitment can get you a long way if you can get together a good group who will pull together and play for each other.

     I don’t think we have had bad players here in recent times rather than Ashley’s recruitment on the management side leaves a lot to be desired.
     I think Ashley is insane if he thinks Pardew can keep them up year on year because he will take them down sooner or later.

433. joe hawkins says:
     May 27, 2014 at 12:03 pm

     “Darth, How many times have clubs paid big fees only for the players to monumentally flop?”

     Well, you can’t accuse Ashley of that, Joe. He offers BUTTONS for all of our transfer targets (unless he gets them on a free) and they either flop or they’re sold on if they’re any good – the dross we’ll keep, of course.

     “Clubs like Athletico show it can be done without spending loads of cash.”

     Clubs like Atletico are actually trying to build a successful side. They’re working to a plan where winning is the end product and they’re buying players to fill positions accordingly – they’re not just looking to buy up cheap, very young prospects and sell them on when/if their stock rises.

     Athletico Madrid wouldn’t have sold their best player in the middle of a promising season without replacement. Like I said: You have to WANT to win something. Chubs couldn’t give a fukk.

434. Atletico sold their top striker for over £50 million last season, then their their other striker became a top striker and now they’re talking about selling him for another £50 million+ to Chelsea or someone like that, yet they still win big trophies over teams like Barcelona and Real Madrid. It puts the Newcastle scouting machine into perspective.

435. Darth, I’m just talking about clubs in general because we all know Ashley couldn’t give a toss.
     There should be no reason why Newcastle United should become a success.
     I’m just highlighting that it can be done although we know Ashley will never do what is required to make it happen.
     I still think we have some decent players in our squad who we could get more from.

     Personally i think Sissoko is a much better player than the one we see under Pardew and should be played in centre midfield as competition for Tiote.

     Ben Arfa is a player that can make things happen but has been treated badly.

     Marveaux looks like a good player but hasn’t been given enough of a run in the side.

     The list goes on with players like Bigi who get nowhere near the first team who looked like he had something to offer.

     That Tavernier looks like a cracking player and couldn’t do any worse than some at the back this season gone.
     He looks like he wants to be away but i have watched a decent footballer during the play offs.

     Pardew has come out to defend himself in the wake of Loic Remy’s latest revelations and he refutes all claims.
     Well he isn’t going to say anything else is he!

436. Well, here’s something that is doubly depressing. The Chronic are rating the players we are going after:

     Zaha
     Sidwell
     Colback
     Pierre-Michel Lasogga
     Mike Havenaar

     Not only are they 2nd or 3rd tier players but the Chronic say we have little chance of getting any of them. There is no mention of the more highly rated players we have recently been linked with like Cabella and Gomis.

437. How about a loan move for Cabaye as he will probably be sitting on the PSG bench unless he has a great World Cup. He might end up being one of the first players on his National team sheet but unable to get a game for his club?

438. I wasn’t serious about a Cabaye loan, we all know that would never happen.

439. GS says:
     May 28, 2014 at 2:11 pm

     “How about a loan move for Cabaye as he will probably be sitting on the PSG bench unless he has a great World Cup.”

     People have been saying he’s sitting on the bench at PSG most of the time but he isn’t. He made 20 appearences for Newcastle last season and 21 for PSG.

440. Worky: I watched a few PSG games and he usually came on as sub. The problem now is they are talking Yaya or Pogba for his position. It probably wont happen, and I was sort of making a joke about our lack of options.

441. GS, he played 1024 minutes in half a season. That’s over eleven full games and he got seven starts. That’s not unusual in a superstar team like that unless you’re a massive player like Yaya Toure. They might need a right back more and take Debuchy this time, and Ashley will get a free / next to nothing in and pay the wages over his contract with the Debuchy booty.

442. Worky @441: As Debuchy’s replacement I heard there’s a decent right back at QPR, or an up and comer at Rotherham. Maybe an attacking full-back at NUFC who always cuts in onto his right foot when played on the left?

443. Aye, QPR. The Joey Barton show will return to the Premier League.

     They might say that MBiwa, Anita and Ryan Taylor can fill in at right back.

444. Not a good day for One Direction. They were engulfed in scandal after film emerged of them smoking cannabis in Peru, then they had to go and play a gig in Sunderland.

445. I’d take one direction and that would be outta Sunderland.

     Yeah, I know. Just awful.

446. The Joey Barton Show will be on ‘Question Time’ this evening.

447. It shouldn’t be held against them because it is understandable to have to get absolutely wrecked before you go to Sunderland.

     When i was younger me and my pals took a sicky from work and had to get stoned in order to drive around Peterlee so you can see where i’m going with it!

     I think it is very apt that they named this fake non entity of a group “One Direction” because in 18 months time their career will only go in “One Direction”!

448. Is that right Worky that Joey will be on Question Time tonight?
     I wouldn’t normally watch that stage managed bilge but it will be worth it this once to watch Mr Barton in action.

     As Chuck would say, “It Is Red Stripe Time In The City”!

449. Joe, they did it in Peru a while ago, but the film only emerged the other day. I was listening to the story as they were preparing to play (or mime) a gig in Sunderland with the press pack baying for blood.

450. Worky, I want to see them getting stoned and wearing coloured poncho’s, Boots, Hats and playing those pan pipes and piccolo type of instruments they have there.
     Followed by them getting the munchies and snacking on Guinea Pigs!

451. Speaking of Peru has anyone see the groups of orphaned street kids you get in Lima called “Piranha’s” i think?
     I was watching some kind of documentary one night and seen these gangs of desperate kids.
     I was both fascinated, Perturbed, And found it strangely humorous at the same time.

     In broad daylight these gangs of kids roam the city centre trying to rob people with a method i have never seen before.
     They basically jump on the intended victim with sheer weight of numbers hang onto their legs ,Arms and pull them to the ground whilst trying to strip the person of their valuables, Trousers, Footwear etc hence the name “Piranha” i suppose.

     You actually see the victims trying to fight these kids off and other members of the public helping also.
     Sometimes these kids are punched, Kicked hit with sticks, Clubs etc but it doesn’t deter them because they are so desperate to survive.

     I just remember sitting there opened mouthed because i have never seen anything as strange as that because it is another of those situations that has a comedic quality to it!

452. This is depressing. I was hoping that out of the blue Pardew would be sacked but the announcement that the frozen out Frenchies are for sale means he is in charge now, with no Plan B. He has been told he can have the proceeds to buy, but who will come? Plus, what happened to the Cabaye transfer money and the millions from TV.

     They are doing a complete overhaul of the squad on a shoestring when everyone else has the TV money and will spend it.

     With Debuchy also likely to go, we are probably relegation favourites along with 2 of the promoted teams.

     Pardew would probably argue that Marveaux, ben Arfa and M;Biwa are fringe players anyway. But, how did that work out for us at the end of last season?

     As I have said before, I can see us signing a maximum of 4 first teamers with a couple of loans. We need a minimum of 1 fullback, 2 center halfs, 2 attacking midfielders and 2 strikers. And that is before replacing backups, squad players, whatever you like to call them. I suppose the return of Abeid will be “like a new signing”.

453. joe hawkins says:
     May 29, 2014 at 3:46 pm

     “They basically jump on the intended victim with sheer weight of numbers hang onto their legs ,Arms and pull them to the ground whilst trying to strip the person of their valuables, Trousers, Footwear etc hence the name “Piranha” i suppose.”

     Like being attacked by 100 mini Nobby Solanos.

454. That’s exactly what it is like Worky!

     They also carry knives to slash at peoples clothing to release valuables although no one is ever stabbed.
     It is a crazy surreal experience watching them but also highlights what people will do when they are desperate.

455. Looks like Sunderland have got into the Mike Ashley spirit of things with their two latest additions.
     Jordi Gomez and Billy Sharp are straight out of the fat man’s bargain basement philosophy!

456. Sunderland bought a whole team of mediocre players with DiCanio, I thought they’d go for quality over quantity now.

457. Jordi Gomez is a decent squad player who can do a job on a given day.
     I just don’t know whether he can do it week in week out for them.
     I don’t know too much about Billy Sharp but it looks like the days of Ellis Short wasting vast sums are out of the window now.
     Steve Bruce and Roy Keane not half gave his wallet some stick to no avail.

458. It looks like Pardew has been told he has to sell to buy. I can’t see any other reason to sell ben Arfa, Marveaux and M’Biwa.

     Actually, maybe I can. It is because Pardew is a weak manager. He doesn’t know what to do with these players because he is not used to having talent and the associated egos. In ben Arfa’s case it seems Pardew has let others in the team dictate what he does. So what if ben Arfa doesn’t always put in a full shift in training or track back. They should be looking at their own game as not many of them covered themselves in glory last year. F@ck it, who wants a team of grafters, we may as well be Stoke.

     I read an article about Chris Waddle today. He never tracked back ever, and always looked knackered. You would have him in in your team though. All players aren’t Peter Beardsley who would chase every lost cause and Pardew should realise this. He wont though because he is shite.

459. I hate to repeat myself but it is a dirge coming from SJP. How are we supposed to get on Pardew’s bandwagon when it is a funeral march? We might sign Cabella, but we will still be hearing that me might get one or two over the line come August.

     Isn’t it difficult to sign anyone in a World Cup year as they all take off for holidays immediately after they are eliminated?

     How was Joey Scouser on Question Time?

460. GS, He made a sexist comment about people voting for UKip being like choosing the best of four ugly birds on a night out and got the feminists on his back straight away. He settled down a bit after his yellow card though.

     “Isn’t it difficult to sign anyone in a World Cup year as they all take off for holidays immediately after they are eliminated?”

     If they’re good in the WC, their price goes right up, but Ashley only likes it when prices go right down.

461. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2643386/Voting-Ukip-like-picking-best-four-ugly-girls-Footballer-Joey-Barton-apologises-offensive-remarks-Question-Time-BBC-hits-new-low.html

462. I watched “Question Time” unfortunately but it was always going to be entertaining watching Barton.
     As soon as the words left his mouth you knew the score and how it would all be blown out of proportion by “The Media”!
     That’s probably why they invited him onto their North Korean style show of non free speech because he would say something they could use against him.

     Yes “Question Time” is a show of democracy in action where nothing is spontaneous and the questions are vetted before the show even starts.
     Does David Dimbleby actually work for MI5 by any chance?
     It seems to me his only function is to perform a kind of “Red Adair” putting fires out and controlling the flow of the debate and information like some “Propaganda Minister”.

     I’ve heard a few rumours over the years that when news readers or presenters start out at the Beeb they are approached by that mob to pedal propaganda for them.
     I am starting to think they might have been true with characters like Dimbleby.

     No one should pay them a license fee because they do not remain neutral like they are supposed to.
     The way they have reported on the conflict in the Middle East over the years has been biased to say the least.
     From when you are young you are led to believe that a bunch of youngsters throwing stones and the adults with glorified fireworks are the greatest threat to humanity ever.
     At the same time these people are walled in and shot like fish in a barrel by a bunch of characters who are armed up to the teeth with foreign money.

     Everyone in the country should say enough is enough and stop paying for the license until these f**kers start being impartial.

463. Worky: I am not really sure if that is sexist. Beauty has always been valued.

     Now our Joey comments on ugly birds all the time. Remember he was spouting off about Lucian Freud in The Guardian.

464. You know what might happen – we might not be able to get Ashley’s asking price for our frozen out players. We then get only 2 or 3 over the line and end up with a decent squad by default. I know it is wishful thinking.

     Hopefully, Pardew will continue his grudge and be gone. Totally wishful thinking :) But that is the only bright side I can see.

465. On the subject of Lucien Freud, I used to paint naked ladies all the time when I was at art college, and the fat seaside postcard types were usually more interesting subjects. Sorry to sound a little arty and pretentious but big blobby shapes are just nicer to paint or draw.

466. Worky @465: give me beauty any time. Most naked people art has featured the young and beautiful, except self portraits.

     Lucian Freud is different, he seems to like big blobby shapes with washed out colours.

     I watched “the Monuments Men” last weekend. What a waste of a good movie idea!

467. Anyway Worky, you gonna put up a new thread for next season? I am looking forward to the world cup to take my mind off the non-events at NUFC, and the inevitable bad start to the season and Pardew firing.

468. You know these hall of fame things are usually a haul of shite? The Rock and Roll hall of fame have now completely run out of ideas. This year’s inductees include Linda Ronstadt, Kiss and Darryl Hall and John Oats. If there was one concert I wouldn’t want to go to it is that one.

     And the E Street Band. Back up groups now?

469. This site is usually full of guff (the one linked below not this site!) but I never quite understood that thing about Luis Suarez with his alleged £40 million release clause which was triggered by Arsenal. I didn’t understand how, if it was real, it could be just brushed aside by Liverpool’s owners saying contracts don’t mean anything.

     http://www.givemesport.com/462839-the-fa-must-deduct-liverpool-13-points-for-cheating

470. I thought I would change the subject since Joe knows a lot about music and I think Worky was a producer amongst his many other activities/jobs?

     Anyway, these Halls of Fame things are just wank. The Rock and Roll one is in Cleveland which is about as far away from Rock and Roll as you can possibly be. Yeah, R&R started in the US but quickly made its way to the UK.

471. Back in history you will see all the classic paintings with plump women on them because that’s what was desirable at the time.
     The more buxom the better i believe was the cry, Nowt wrong with bigger formed women anyway.
     There’s more cushion for the pushing and they are a good root the one’s i have had in my time lol.
     You cannot go knocking about with beauty queens all the time unfortunately.

     You don’t go looking at the mantle piece when your poking the fire!
     Anyway it’s great when they on top smothering you with ample breasts lol

472. They are dead appreciative and it only costs the the price of mince pie and xtra large potion of chips.

473. Anyone got any interest or predictions for tonight’s farce, I mean fight?

     I think the best chance the big mouthed carrot top is to keep on the back foot and out box Carl for the 12 rounds.
     I don’t see him landing as good of a shot as he did in the first fight.

     If he is daft enough to go for the K.O then he will only be dangerous early on.
     That’s why his trainer has been saying we have a plan to win in 6.
     George has a stamina problem for me and the longer it goes i can see Froch walking through what he has and getting to him late on again.
     Only this time the referee will be terrified to step in and Groves could get hurt and derail his career.

     Froch for me with him not taking his opponent as lightly and stopping him convincingly late on.

474. I see things going pretty much the same way, Joe.

     Dunno what all the fuss was about after the first fight. I think Froch won fair and square. Hardly his fault that the ref thought that Groves was taking a beating he couldn’t come back from – pity he stopped it when he did because I was enjoying seeing the gobby little sh|te getting duffed :)

     I’ll be watching tonight.

475. GS says:
     May 31, 2014 at 3:31 pm

     “Anyway, these Halls of Fame things are just wank. The Rock and Roll one is in Cleveland which is about as far away from Rock and Roll as you can possibly be. Yeah, R&R started in the US but quickly made its way to the UK.”

     Isn’t a hall of fame just like a Madame Tussauds with just rock stars and a few other of their bits and pieces? I don’t know, I can’t remember ever being in one.

476. Joe, I didn’t know you were a chubby chaser.

477. Hall and Oats? The p!ss stain on the couch of music are making it into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It is like Madame Tussauds, Worky. A waste of time visited by fat Yanks.

478. GS says:
     May 31, 2014 at 5:43 pm

     “Hall and Oats? The p!ss stain on the couch of music”

     I always think of Brass Eye’s “Paedogeddon,” when I see Hall and Oates now. Chris Morris fools Sebastian Coe into branding them as paedophiles as he holds up two of their most famous pictures.

479. Worky, Sometimes it pays not to be too fussy lol.
     All joking aside it’s about personality and that goes a long way, Especially when you start getting older and everything starts going south lol.

     That’s my excuse anyway lol

     Darth, The fight went as expected and he got a mug made out of him although he reckons he was ahead before the stoppage.
     He really is deluded is wor George and living in a dream World!

480. Is this the worst concept for a band ever – McCauley Culkins’s band, Pizza Underground, cover Velvet Underground songs but change the lyrics so that they include Pizza? I read it in The Guardian and I am not sure if they are making it up to take the p1ss?

     It looks like we will be in for a few more pastings next season. Arsenal, Man U and Chelsea seem to be going on spending sprees to compete with the still strong Citeh and Liverpool. Add Spurs and Everton to the mix and we might be in for a torrid time.

     What we can look forward to is Pardew’s safety first attitude which usually results in us limiting the score to 3 or 4 nil. We can depend on us to get our customary “nil” but Pardew can’t even park the bus properly. It is lucky that Steven Taylor wants to be our savior and sign on for a few more years :)

     Seriously, do we have any idea what we are doing? We seem to be a shambles. I mean, what happens when we sack Pardew 10 games in with the transfer window closed? The saving grace might be that we cannot offload the Frenchies that Pardew has fallen out with.

     Our defense proved that it was one of the worst in the league during the second half of the season and we are not f@cking being linked with any defenders !!! We have the worst coaching staff in the league as proved by our appalling set play record and the fact that Pardew looks after the defense and we ship goals to any half decent team. Sometimes the other team just stroll around and take the p!ss like the second Arsenal and Chelsea games. It is not that we don’t have anything to offer, it is the bunker mentality. If the other team knows we are not even trying to score it is open season.

481. GS says:
     June 1, 2014 at 5:08 pm

     “Is this the worst concept for a band ever – McCauley Culkins’s band, Pizza Underground, cover Velvet Underground songs but change the lyrics so that they include Pizza? I read it in The Guardian and I am not sure if they are making it up to take the p1ss?”

     GS, it’s real. Their UK dates were cancelled though because they were getting beer thrown at them.

     http://www.nme.com/news/various-artists/77631

     “Our defense proved that it was one of the worst in the league during the second half of the season and we are not f@cking being linked with any defenders !!! ”

     Sometimes we have a good defence, sometimes we have a terrible defence, but that’s Pardew. He’s had these terrible depressions / losing streaks with different defences at different clubs. He already has form for taking top players and putting them in odd positions and stuff like that.

482. GS says:
     June 1, 2014 at 5:08 pm

     “Is this the worst concept for a band ever”?

     I can think of at least one that was worse, GS.

     http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Moors_Murderers

     I’m sure I’ll think of a few more when I have time (Sigue Sigue Sputnik just sprang to mind) :)

483. I have some records of bands with rather dodgy concepts. One I have is the Pretty Paedophiles EP by Raped.

484. I have just heard from someone i know about rumours of Pardew getting sacked.
     I cannot honestly say i have seen anything online about this, Has anyone else heard anything?

485. Are you sure it wasn’t just a dream, Joe?

486. Worky, No it’s a bloke i have known for years and he is normally bang on with the stuff he comes out with.
     Although i don’t know where it is coming from and he was passing the info onto me through people he knows.
     He was more or less saying it wasn’t from his usual sources and it’s just speculation on their part, And was asking if i had heard anything.

     I cannot find anything to back it up with and i haven’t a clue what he could have done to get his marching orders.
     Probably a load of crap but here’s hoping!

487. LOL Joe. You sounded just like some of the people on Ed’s blog except for the last paragraph there :-)

488. Worky, Seriously this bloke is connected to a certain family who used to own the club.
     I just do not want to name drop or put the bloke in a dodgy position.

     He told me himself that it was just a rumour conveyed to him through someone he knows and not his usual contacts who he usually gets his info from.

     When i first got to know him he told me at the start of Keegan’s promotion season that David Kelly would not be given the chance by keegan if they were promoted.
     He has always been spot on because these said people are in his family.

489. I wonder if Fatty has woken up to the fact that sacking Pardew is our best transfer policy. It would give a second chance to the players that have been mismanaged by Pardew and Ashley has spent a lot of money on. At the moment it looks like he would only recoup his money on Debuchy.

     Fatman is a bottom line kinda Guy and at the moment it would be cheaper to sack Pardew and have a fresh start than buy a whole new team. Someone should have a word in his ear and tell him his net worth has more than doubled since he gave Pardew that stupid contract so he can afford it.

     Laudrup is one of the studio panel over here for the world cup. Maybe fatty and Charnley might enjoy a holiday in America?

490. After the literally millions of times it has been pointed out that literally is often not used correctly, why do people continue to use literally incorrectly? Especially football players?

491. I can’t be bothered to talk about NUFC transfers, because most look like invented BS for people I have never heard of.

492. I remember reading Private Eye 30 years ago and about half the Colemanballs were about the use of literally – “he was literally shooting for the moon”, or “he was literally tied up in knots” etc.

493. he is literally a little boy in a man’s body, he literally couldn’t hit a cow’s ars* with a banjo! Every cliche is just so much better when you add the word “literally” to it, and footballers, especially ex-footballers who are now experts, are even more expert at adding “literally” to a cliche.

494. Nope! i cannot find nicksy about Pardew getting The Tin Tack so i have no idea where this rumour was circulating from.
     Probably some idiots on Twitter or some other social media s***e!

     GS, Did you see the transfer rumour about Nicklas Bendtner?
     That would be all we need signing that divvy although it would be a classic Ashley signing if it came off!

495. joe hawkins says:
     June 2, 2014 at 4:50 pm

     “Worky, Seriously this bloke is connected to a certain family”

     Aye Joe but I used to be “connected” to use your word and if you are connected, you never say f all to anyone or you won’t be connected for much longer. Hence I do tend to have a natural cynicism for that sort of thing, but who knows?

496. GS, Geoffrey Boycott and Katy Perry finally get to meet.

     http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/celebritynews/10847633/Geoffrey-Boycott-meets-tops-singer-Katy-Perry.html

497. Aye, Worky. He had never been to a concert before??? And I bet his grandmother could hit a note better than Katy Perry. It is sad really that Geoffrey likes her better for her singing than her t@ts.

     It is also sad that Botham has a knighthood, Coe is a Lord and Bradley rides fast a lot is a Sir. And “Sir” Geoffrey is not a Sir. There’s misplaced agenda here somewhere, especially when every banker gets a knighthood before they are unfortunately found out to be frauds.

498. Joe @494, we may end up with Bendtner if Pards stays. Good for the hoof. Didn’t Sunderland have him on loan?

499. GS says:
     June 3, 2014 at 4:34 am

     “It is also sad that Botham has a knighthood, Coe is a Lord and Bradley rides fast a lot is a Sir. And “Sir” Geoffrey is not a Sir. There’s misplaced agenda here somewhere, especially when every banker gets a knighthood before they are unfortunately found out to be frauds.”

     Ah, you might not know about that, GS. You’ll have been over there but it was a long, long time ago now, just before this century sometime at the end of the 90s.

     It’s because of the case with his ex-girlfriend. She accused him of assault and took him to court in France. The case was a bit dubious but I seem to recall that he got a female French judge was a feminist who seemed sure he was guilty and determined to get him convicted, but he was convicted so he doesn’t have a knighthood.

     He did have to go into exile for a bit and was relieved of his commentating duties, but no one in the cricket world believed it really and he was rehabilitated quickly under the circumstances because everyone seemed to think there was something a bit wrong about his conviction.

500. Here we go, GS.

     http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/211569.stm

     http://www.independent.co.uk/news/boycotts-sticky-wicket-i-didnt-hit-her-i-didnt-push-her-i-didnt-make-her-fall-1179565.html

501. ps GS, Boycott didn’t go down very well with the French in the courtroom either, especially when he told them all to “Shut oop!” at one stage. He later explained he did that because “they were all talkin’ bloody French!” LOL.

502. That sounds like Sir Geoffrey. I am just saying if you make everyone a knight who has appeared in Lord of the Rings or captained the Star Ship Enterprise then Geoff should have a shot as well. They dropped Sir Geoff after he scored 200 in a warm up match.

503. Thanks Worky for The Independent link. I could think in my mind’s eye Geoffrey saying – me Mam could throw shoes and socks out the window better than that, give over.

504. Speaking of so called privilege and titles i see “Lizardbeth” has sold the British People down the river with her speech involving “Fracking” to take place on private land without the consent of the owners.

     I knew she would and it only goes to show that democracy does not really exist and it is just a word!

505. Nothing to do with her really, Joe. The Queen’s Speech is written by the government of the day.

     She’s even supposed to read it in a flat, neutral tone to suggest she neither agrees nor disagrees with the plans of “My government” – the monarch’s not supposed to interfere in UK politics.

     I imagine she generally doesn’t give a fukk though – we won’t be seeing any fracking in the grounds of any royal palaces.

     And I don’t care where they frack as long as my fuel bills come down to be honest.

506. The club’s extended the season ticket deadline again.

     http://www.nufc.co.uk/articles/20140604/season-ticket-renewal-deadline-extended_2281670_3881586

     So we can expect a few bullsh|t transfer rumours and silly low bids until the 14th. Krul, Debuchy and Santon will probably be on their way on the 15th.

507. I am watching the England game – all the Ecuador players had their hands on their hearts for their shit (footballing, that is) country. I am guessing they are singing their crap national anthem as well. Go for it Roy :)

508. Oh F2ck – we have Ian (very little) Joy commentating here. He never did anything football wise and thinks he can commentate.

509. I was out and only saw the highlights later. Didn’t look like I missed a classic game.

510. My National Anthem reference above was because Roy thinks belting out God Save the Queen will make our footballers better. I doubt it. For every Brazil or Argentina there is a Mexico and Paraguay. I don’t see any connection between singing of the National Anthem and success at the World Cup.

511. Well they just stick a mic in front of England managers and they just have to come out with some guff or other that sets the right patriotic tone before the World Cup.

512. There are no celebrities left from the 70s to arrest for child sexual abuse now, so they’ve now gone full circle and arrested Gary Glitter again.

513. Dave Lee Travis was arrested and let go? He wasn’t really a celebrity anyway. Ken Barlow as well.

     I think the Police never solved any real crimes in the ’70s – took them 15 years to find the Yorkshire Ripper. Now they have CCTV everywhere to arrest people for p!ssing on the street and let the real criminals from the City go.

     Oh well, I am getting to sound like the Chuckster.

514. GS, do you remember the Mackem ripper as well?

515. The world cup is about to start though. There will be hundreds of players to see that we will never sign.

     My Dad was taken in for questioning for being in possession of a Geordie accent and travelling to Yorkshire. Almost Sherlockian inspectatorial skill they had in the 70’s. Lucky for Jimmy Savile and Peter Sutcliff.

516. @514: the tape! It supposedly talked about details that only the real ripper would know. And then turned out to be a total fraud. Makes you think that shooting of the Brasilian guy in the tube station might have been a mistake as well.

517. My brothers and me used to take the p!ss out of my Dad that he was arrested for possession of a flat cap, a whippet and a couple of pigeons (he had none of them, but that was part of the fun).

518. GS says:
     June 5, 2014 at 8:25 pm

     “The world cup is about to start though. There will be hundreds of players to see that we will never sign.”

     I remember watching Tiote in the last World Cup, which I seem to recall was not long after we signed him.

519. Joe: you inspired me. I asked a good friend of mine to have a f@ck date and she said yes. Said her husband isn’t interested in sex and wasn’t ever any good at it anyway. She’s not fat though.

520. Well I’m glad you’re happy today, GS. I’m more misrable than Morrissey now.

521. Worky, I am happy most days. Pards is the one that depresses me. Luckily it is the off season and he is on holiday, so I don’t need to listen to his tripe every day.

522. GS, I’m miserable because I bought a 60s Zenith watch. I got it this morning and it’s a dud. When I first looked at it the watch looked great but when I gave it a proper inspection under a loupe, the face has been slightly bent, the crown won’t wind like it should and it won’t move the date wheel. Zenith are a fortune to repair as well. Even if I get my money back it’s going to be a rigmarole.

523. Well are yiz aal cock a hoop ower wor new signing Ayoze Perez?
     It’s embarrassing the way “

524. Hit the wrong button there ffs!

     It is embarrassing the way “The Chronicle” are reporting this story.
     Is this how far we have fallen under this regime when we are waxing lyrical over a maybe of a player.
     You would think there was a mistake with the decimal point the way they are going on.
     It’s being treated like a 15 million pound signing such is the fight for scraps from Ashley’s table.

     We might as well go for an open top bus parade the next time we score a goal from a set piece.
     Or better still a lap of honour if we win the toss of a coin.

     I wonder if this will herald in a new “low”, Sorry era of plundering “The Segunda” for cheap players?
     We can have another of those two bob Ashley days only this time “Spain Day”.
     Ashley will charge for bowls of paella, Flags, Flamenco dancing, Hell he could even punt the berets left over from “France Day” and pass them off as Basque Berets because those thick Northern Monkey’s won’t know the difference!

525. joe hawkins says:
     June 7, 2014 at 2:51 pm

     “Well are yiz aal cock a hoop ower wor new signing Ayoze Perez?
     “It’s embarrassing the way “

     Is he the replacement for Ben Arfa when he goes then, Joe?

526. Worky, You can be sure that Mavis will try and turn him from a striker into a winger or any other position he deems fit!

527. There is also a “Story” in The Mirror about Bafetimbi Gomis on a free with his wages being in excess of 70,000 pound a week.
     More rubbish because Ashley would be interested in him for 35 to 40 tops and i think it is highly doubtful Jabba would stump up for that kind of package.
     The so called deal is worth 4 million a year but would anyone give him that kind of money?

     I have heard he is no more than a glorified Shola who constantly flatters to deceive!

528. Aye Joe, I’ve speculated that on here a while ago because he’s free now. I guessed it would be about £4 million a year with no fee, which is around the same as Remy but they paid another £2 million loan fee for him.

     Thing is though that Newcastle aren’t the only team who have have looked at him and he was doing quite well in Ligue 1 when last time I checked, though that was a fair while ago. However, things seem to break down when it comes to working out personal terms with his agent. Of course, when Joe Kinnear was here, he got the blame for absolutely everything, but Newcastle weren’t the only ones having problems trying to sign him.

     You should look at the whole cost of a player over his contract. You look at the fee for a good striker like £15 million just plucking a biggish number. If there’s no fee, that will pay almost £100,000 per week wages for three years, or almost £50,000 per week over a very long six years. Hence, if a player is free, the agents will be straight in asking for double wages. It’s the overall cost over x amount of years that counts though, and when you have to pay the money of course.

529. I’m no expert when it comes to contracts and wages etc, But for 70 to 80 grand a week i would expect something better than Gomis to be honest.
     Not that i don’t think he could be a useful addition to the squad, But he isn’t prolific enough to command such demands.
     I would only be interested in him at less than half of what he is asking, And anything else he should be wearing a balaclava imo!

     Would his signing also give a big indication of how Pardew does not want to change and continue to knock it long in the vain hope again?
     We still haven’t really scored a legitimate goal from a set piece since he has been here, So he would not be able to come out with his, “We Ain’t got any ‘Edderers In There”!

530. Just seen a couple of what could be described as somewhat vague and blurry photographs which have been taken at St James’ Park.
     They show someone holding up a Black ‘n’ White shirt and he does appear to have red hair.
     So it could be a good chance of this being Jack Colback unless some ginger kid is having a laugh with his mates and being misleading.

531. I just got the words out of my mouth for The Chronicle to confirm Colback’s signing and subsequent tour of the stadium.
     So it wasn’t just some bit of tittle tattle and someone was very creative in their use of the camera!

532. Well what are people’s views on the new signing?

     Which camp are you in, The good, The bad, The indifferent?

     I think i will will sit on the fence with this one as i can see the pros and cons of a signing like him.

     Some Sunderland fans are glad to see the back of him and good performances from him were few and far between.

     He also has the unenviable burden of crossing the divide, Which could count against him if he doesn’t hit the ground running!

     On the positive side he is a fan and wants to wear the shirt which seems to have been in short supply lately.

     He is also a local lad who knows what it means to the fans in Derby games etc.
     Even though he scored for the owld enemy he played with a verve deserving in these games.
     And we have a manager who has been here for nearly four years and still doesn’t get it!

     Saying he is local sounds like something out of the realms of “Royston Vasey” though lol
     Although i wish Ashley and Co would venture into some dodgy Newcastle shop and disappear of the face of the Earth, A La “Pulp Fiction” style.

     “Pardew Is Dead Honey”!

533. joe hawkins says:
     June 9, 2014 at 10:54 am

     “I’m no expert when it comes to contracts and wages etc, But for 70 to 80 grand a week i would expect something better than Gomis to be honest.”

     Look at it in the round though. How much does a player cost in total over his x year contract? If he has no fee he’s got leverage on wages and he’s probably going to get more than a similar player who has an £8,9,10 million fee attached, which is a couple of years of £70-80-90,000 per week wages before he’s even started.

     Looking at another angle though, he’s a bit too old for the usual profile.

534. joe hawkins says:
     June 9, 2014 at 1:03 pm

     “Well what are people’s views on the new signing?”

     He’s free, so fatty will be pleased. How do you muster excitement nowadays though?

535. Worky, To Man City 80 grand a week is nowt but to the vast majority of Prem sides that would be the absolute ceiling of what they would pay.
     I can understand what your saying if there was no fee involved it does free up more cash.
     14 goals in Ligue 1 though, I would be wanting someone to do the business to the standard of a Suarez for that out lay on wages.

     I think even a club like Liverpool might baulk at the demands of Gomis.
     I also think a lot of clubs in the Prem couldn’t afford to pay him that sort of cash.
     If i was going to offer that sort of cash i might be tempted to give it to someone like Wilfried Bony even with a fee involved because you know what you are going to get with him.

536. There is another Piece cropped up in The Chronicle about Gomis not being motivated by money, Although he thinks 70 grand a week is fair.
     Apparently he is looking for another culture to be involved in.
     Well if he wants to experience a non footballing culture under Pardew’s stewardship, Then that will definitely be something he hasn’t experienced before.

     Reckons if it was only about money he would go to Russia, And doubts whether he will stay in France because only P.S.G could offer him a challenge.

537. How about this for Pardew’s reasoning – HBA and Marveaux are probably on a combined 80k and he doesn’t play them. If we can get 6 mil for them we would be ahead (or similar after Agent fees).

     It is warped reasoning because the only reason that HBA is not used is that he fell out with Pardew and he wont play him. Probably similar for Marveaux who at the very least seems a decent rotation player or off the bench (like Shola on his best days).

     So, Ashley can get a sought-after player and not really affect the finances at all. IT HIDES THE FACT THAT THE REAL PICTURE IS THAT PARDEW IS CR@P AND CANNOT UTILIZE THE PLAYERS HE HAS.

     I have seen Gomis in the French league a few times and he seems pretty handy. A major upgrade on Shola.

538. Bollox to The World Cup!
     I will not be watching that after they bulldozed children’s schools in Brazil to make way for stadiums!

539. Joe, I’ve deleted the spam comment and made yours look a bit daft now! :-)

     They’ve had a big survey / probe looking at all the payday loans. They have come to the conclusion that people pay a few pounds too much for them. I’m not making that up.

540. Has anyone been inspired by the signings yet?

541. Joe: I have no idea about the schools in Brazil, but I am still watching the World Cup. I have also seen the argument about them spending so much money when there is so much poverty or better uses, but you could also make that argument about the London Olympics. What about the South African World Cup?

     In fact, I think you could make an argument to boycott many, many Olympics and World Cups – Russia, Argentina, Qatar, China etc.

     It is the bidding process, that seems to almost dictate that a country spend billions to win a major sporting event, that has got out of hand.

     There is all this controversy about the stadium in Manaus but I bet there was some political lobbying/pandering to get a stadium in every region, to spread the money around.

     I just don’t see the point of a boycott when the whole thing, every time, is about politics, corruption and money. We can do f all about it from our armchairs or barstools.

542. Are the world cups nowadays better than the cheap ones in the old days with Garrincha, Pele, Cruyff, Beckenbauer, Zico, Maradona and so on?

543. Was it just me or was the world cup opening ceremony look like it had been staged by the local scout troupe? It was bloody awful.

544. Joe, you posted a comment on a blog from years ago.

545. joe hawkins says:
     June 13, 2014 at 2:08 pm

     GS, They bulldozed a lot of schools and even the Brazilian people are dubious about the cup.
     They think the government have sold them down the river by spending all the money on The Olympic Games and The World Cup whilst doing nothing for the people.
     There have been riots in nearly all the major cities!

546. Joe: I am not sure if I could turn the sound up at half time with the pundits you have over there. I think we have a much better selection over here:

     Roberto Martinez, Christian Vieri, Rodney Marsh, van Nistelrooy, Alexei Lalas, Gullit, Gilberto Silva, Ray Hudson, Andy Gray and quite a few others.

     I think having so many international voices for an international tournament is a good thing. The only problem is that Scouse McManaman is a commentator on the big games. How the Yanks can understand him I don’t know, and I bet they wonder why he is clearing his throat all of the time. It is funny, but The Beatles didn’t have that Scouse clearing throat thing (Oh God you have Jamie Carragher. I don’t care if what he says makes sense, it is that bloody accent again).

547. I took a look at the BBC pundits and it is just so one note.

548. And judging by the decisions in the matches so far there won’t be any officials left come the quarter finals.

     The commentator here just said that Alex Song is one of 27 siblings. Do they have polygamy in Cameroon?

549. GS, apparently he has 27 siblings. He’s one of 28.

     http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alex_Song

     “The only problem is that Scouse McManaman is a commentator on the big games. How the Yanks can understand him I don’t know, and I bet they wonder why he is clearing his throat all of the time.”

     But don’t they have lots of Scottish pundits over there? Even the English can’t understand what they’re saying.

550. The Scots are usually for the Premier League. Ian Joy (Scottish) is the main guy on the pundit bench for BEIN Sports in Brazil. I am shocked that he is doing a good job because when he does commentary he is just an Andy Gray wannabe.

     Thank God Tommy Smyth is nowhere to be seen. Whenever he made a comment you could be sure that if you took the opposite view you would be correct.

     The Yanks have come a long way in their coverage of football. It seems that they are getting a National from at least one of the teams that are playing to be a pundit for the game.

551. Worky: I would say that the World Cup is taking my mind off NUFC. However, that would be false because nowt is happening at NUFC. I did see that there might be a massive profit to go into Fatty’s wallet.

     For Holland/Spain we have van Nist, Martinez and Lalas. As I said, they are lending a bit of international insight. They also don’t interrupt the game with ads anymore. Although, I did hear Ian Darke say something like “airial coverage brought to you by Goodyear, when you want to get somewhere, get a Goodyear tyre. Goodyear, the American tyre company”. Actually that was better than Darke’s usual “banter” with “Macca”.

552. Van Gaal and the Netherlands were great. There was more football in there than a whole season of watching Newcastle.

553. Isn’t it about time that Rooney proves that he deserves to be in the team? He was England’s worst player (of many) in South Africa when the ball bounced off him every time as if it was a super-ball. What he has shown is that the pressure is too much for him at major tournaments. He is obviously a very good player, if overrated, but he doesn’t seem to have the temperament for the job he is being asked to do. There is a lot of management speak about leaders, which is mostly blather. However, some of it is true and I am afraid that Rooney just doesn’t have leadership qualities and lets nerves get the better of him.

     A lot of people are coming around to this opinion and I think he is no longer undroppable. I wonder if Roy will have the balls to do it?

     Oh, I didn’t expect us to beat Italy anyway, with or without Rooney. However, Uruguay are there for the taking and their semi-final may have been a flash in the pan.

554. It is funny that we are being linked with Joel Campbell. I expect that we were interested (in a loan) before his breakout game and now wont get him. Typical Newcastle.

555. I don’t think I am jumping on any Rooney bandwagon here. A lot of people have had doubts at least since South Africa and now there seems a bit of anger as well as annoyance. You get that when someone has a sense of entitlement and doesn’t live up to the hype or their own ego.

556. GS I’m watching the France game. Ashley will probably be hoping that Debuchy enhances his reputation in this world cup ready for a big money move.

557. Well, there’s 4 of our players from last year out there today. Plus HBA probably should have gone if he had gotten any NUFC playing time. It is an indictment of Pardew’s tactics and man management. Some might argue that we did OK before Christmas, but we still played shite most of the time.

558. Ashley will be hoping the cash registers are ringing again!

559. GS, Ben Arfa and Deschamps don’t get on either.

560. What about a certain Alan Pardew having the temerity to accuse Woy Hodgson of playing Rooney out of position.
     There really is no end to the brass neck of this joker and his Fantasy World!

561. Joe, as Newcastle fans we know Pardew has no self awareness and contradicts himself all the time. Can we put down Koeman as one of the managers we could have had instead of Pardew?

562. Joe, what’s gannin on with the alleged Russian bombers in Newcastle?

563. I hope no-one’s missing Big Sho in the world cup v Iran. It’s alot like like watching Newcastle actually, ie the odd long punt in the direction of the big lad but it’s still 0-0 after an hour.

564. I’ve just worked out that Brazil HAVE to win the World Cup or things will get very ugly indeed. If they don’t and are just left with a huge bill they can’t afford and no trophy, the Brazilians are going to take to the streets but in the wrong way. Things are going to get even worse for FIFA in their succession of catastrophic and corrupt choices of hosts. With Brazil and Qatar, many people have even forgotten that it’s Russia next. I’m expecting Brazil to get an even bigger helping hand than host countries usually get.

565. Worky: the World Cup was fun until Shola got on the pitch. Nil-nil was inevitable after that.

     Also, didn’t Sepp say the World Cup will be played on other planets soon? Saturn with 96% hydrogen? That’s even more difficult to play in than Qatar.

     Sepp said:

     “We shall wonder if one day if our game is played on another planet… we will not only have the World Cup, we will have inter-planetary competitions”

     I am not sure that Sepp gets the fact that the planets have very different temperatures and atmospheres than Earth. And that it might be at least a few of his lifetimes (if ever) for man to visit other solar systems. I think he has been watching too much Star Trek.

566. And if they have some sort of bio-dome on Jupiter with a football pitch, they may as well have the game in Sunderland, or Detroit or Sochi.

567. GS, Nigeria were so dull that they actually got slightly better after Shola came on.

568. GS says:
     June 17, 2014 at 2:02 pm

     “I am not sure that Sepp gets the fact that the planets have very different temperatures and atmospheres than Earth.”

     He certainly didn’t get it with Qatar, which is like another planet, a much hotter one like Mercury. My sister used to live there. Sometimes it’s too hot to breathe, never mind play football.

569. I watched the USA game at a bar. When they scored the guy next to me went to do a high five but I was having none of it. He didn’t take the hint and when they scored the winner he went for it again. I couldn’t help myself and did a sort of sideways five with him.

     Every time someone wants to do a high five I think of Borat or people teaching their dogs to high five. I don’t think I am totally assimilated to this culture yet.

570. By the way, Robbin van Persie hasn’t got the high five down yet either.

571. GS, haven’t you been there since the 80s or something? You should be completely Yankified by now. The Yanks here in London seem to become more a bit more English after a while. I’d hate it if someone tried to do a high five with me because I’m English and I don’t want to look like a knob.

572. Worky: got here in 1990 just in time for the first Iraq war. Americans are such patriots when they don’t know what they are fighting for and only send volunteers to fight. They confuse oil and democracy :) Then when democracy “fails” they decide it is not a good Government and should take sides with their sworn enemy, Iran. I am confused by US foreign policy.

     High Five!

573. I am watching Russia/Korea. I will stay away from political comments on that one. However, I think the Ref is about to go for the full Bobby Charlton in the next World Cup.

574. Putin won’t be happy. Can the goalie spell Siberia?

575. The referee’s Bobby Charlton / Arthur Scargill was the best thing about that game.

     Howay Joe!

576. Worky, It’s not one of your Nazi Ukrainian mates is it lol
     All i know is he has appeared in court but it is a strange one that.
     To be honest when i first heard about it i was expecting it to be some young British born kid who has been radicalized.
     “War On Terror” comes to the TOON!

577. They should have let him bomb Scotswood because you wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference.
     In fact they would have gave him freedom of the place for doing improvements.

578. Aye Joe, I remember when the riots up there were mistaken for a regional improvement project.

579. Did anyone watch Memphis Depay for the Netherlands?

     He’s a brilliant little left winger who was only a fairly cheap player from PSV what I can recall. I don’t think he’ll be cheap for much longer though. Graham Carr where are you?

580. Jorge Sampaoli of Chile would probably be the perfect manager for Newcastle. He makes Keegan look dull and unemotional running up and down his technical area with his head in his hands and his eyes bulging like they’re going to explode. Him and his Chile team are just pure entertainment from start to finish, but they are also very disciplined too and know how to defend as unit.

581. I want England to win. If we lose, it might be funny to watch the papers turn on their former golden boy, Waynetta. The press seem to have this joy of building people up to knock them down. Even Wayne doesn’t really deserve those turncoats. Small penises is my guess.

582. GS, veering completely away from football for a minute, did you know that the brutal former dictator of Liberia, Charles Taylor was being held just behind Ramside Hall in Durham?

     As for the football, I hope Suarez isn’t very good this evening. Rooney has never been very good in a world cup yet, even Messi hasn’t.

583. Worky, He reckons the British are neglecting his human rights by interfering with his family life.
     Far be it from us to stand in the way of a war criminals conjugal visits ffs

     Typical psychopath with narcissistic tendencies who only sees himself and their needs!

584. If Waynetta didn’t have that bum fluff on his head he would have scored there.

585. Typical crunch England game so far. One of their players should probably have been sent off. Then they rub it in with a goal. I mentioned Suarez and I even forgot they have Cavani as well.

     Joe, I definitely think that Taylor’s got the worst rap sheet in County Durham! (see below) He was convicted of most of the most heinous crimes avalable at the Hague.

     “Acts of terrorism, Unlawful killings, Murder, Violence to life, health and physical or mental well-being of persons, in particular murder, Sexual violence, Rape, Sexual slavery and any other form of sexual violence, Outrages upon personal dignity, Physical violence, Violence to life, health and physical or mental well-being of persons, in particular cruel treatment, Other inhumane acts, Use of child soldiers, Conscripting or enlisting children under the age of 15 years into armed forces or groups, or using them to participate actively in hostilities, Abductions and forced labor, Enslavement, looting and finally, Pillage.”

     http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Taylor_%28Liberian_politician%29

586. Good for Waynetta. I really didn’t want to see the Custis and Ashton cr2p. Their blather smells bad even from Chicago.

587. Well that was a great break from supporting Newcastle.

588. Are we done with the 10 year Rooney experiment? Stevie will retire and be the last of the “golden generation” as well. Roy’s team tried hard but suffered from a lack of class.

     Mediocre manager, mediocre team. At least the fans can all say they weren’t expecting much anyway – yeah, that’s heartening :)

     Worky, it wasn’t that much of a break from NUFC. They were about as dull as NUFC, just without as many hoofs and the 0-4 scorelines. Italy took it easy on England. I am really glad that Waynetta scored because now they (the press, fans, everybody) cannot totally blame him for everything that has happened since the Romans invaded. To be sure he is overhyped, but he is not the only reason England are shite.

     Now I have a choice of supporting the NUFC Frenchies, USA-USA-USA, or Germany where I lived for a year. I am fickle as f@ck, me like.

589. Not quite as dull as NUFC, GS, nothing’s as dull as that. I’ve liked watching the Netherlands and Chile.

590. To put last night in perspective, Uruguay is about the same size as Wales.

591. Well i cannot say that England’s probable early exit from the World Cup was not inevitable.
     I watched bit of their warm up matches in Florida and although they were practice matches you could see they had very little going for them.

     England are up there with, Who built the Pyramids & The Sphinx, Who Shot Kennedy, Are we alone, Is there life after death? etc
     There is something seriously wrong with our football in England and we need to get back to the basics.
     When you look at managers like a certain Alan Pardew and Sam Allardyce it is not hard to see why.
     England have played like the had been “Pardewed” and therein lies the problem.

     I think it starts back when they are 9 and 10 year old and they get them to play on a full size pitch.
     I used to watch my brother when he was at the junior school and they looked like “The Anthill Mob” chasing the ball in one small area of the field.
     All you hear from the manager is “Get Rid Of It”! and they just punt it up the field.
     They learn early on not to use space well and any flair is coached out of them.

     You look at most teams in the tournament and they play like a team and seem to have a plan.
     England are as Medieval as the crusade armour wearing fans that are watching them.
     It’s a wonder the tactics are not embroidered by fair maidens onto a tapestry.
     It doesn’t matter what tournament England enter into they play like a bunch of strangers.

     Time to forget about “The Missing Link” in Wayne Rooney and “Captain Coward” Stevie G, “The Kid’s Not Yours, The Kid’s Not Yours”! and send them packing along with the clothes horse “David Beckham” and the rest of “The Pewter Generation”!

592. Is Carr at the World Cup? I think Pardew was in Monaco on his hols. Now, wouldn’t you think that scouting players that you don’t see every day would be a priority for our esteemed leaders?

     It is not just about watching them live, they could go to the coaching sessions or have a word with coaches to ask about a players character. Is that tapping up? I doubt it, you are not making an offer because they are not playing for their club.

     If someone is truly outstanding at the tournament then one of the big clubs will probably make an offer. However, there are 736 players to look at (32 x 23) so I think there may be a few bargains still.

     If I was Ashley I would have the whole coaching staff there as this opportunity only comes around every 4 years. Then again, with our coaching staff we would probably end up with another Fumaca rather than Suarez.

593. Another thing about England – we could all see the decline in Gerrard, so why couldn’t Roy? Instead, he makes him captain, undroppable and adjusts the formation to suit his waning talents.

     I can’t really fathom how some of these managers cannot see the obvious. Stevie Me’s main attribute was his dynamism driving forward. Without that, he is not even half the player. Even Liverpool fans were on his back about trying to hit too many Hollywood balls. Now Roy builds a team around it.

     You might say that hindsight is a wonderful thing but I knew that Stevie and Wazza would perform exactly to their current talents before a ball was kicked. You try to be optimistic but it all just seems so inevitable – like when Pardew starts a game with Shola.

594. Joe, GS, on the subject of Carr and scouting, did you check out Memphis Depay of the Netherlands? I was watching Cameroon’s Aboubekar as a realist potential Ashley style cheapo forward as well after a good season in Ligue 1 but Cameroon were shite.

595. The whole country just has the wrong psychology in football and it affects the players. Newcastle is similar. English clubs have some top English players having success in domestic competition and Europe winning trophies but as soon as they enter the England paradigm, all the stuff from the past comes flooding back like a monkey on their backs and they underachieve.

     There’s usually some genuine bit of bad luck, like a Uruguay player maybe should have got sent off last night, or Lampard’s goal in the previous world cup, then they start to get tense and nervous. They hit the bar instead of the goal, they’re just a bit offside, the defence loses its shape… It even broke Capello which says something.

596. Worky, England do normally end up where they should end up. We are good but not special.

     Capello had a John Terry led mutiny to deal with. That was the only funny thing about the last world cup, the way they all jumped off the Terry ship like a bunch of escaping rats. They hung Terry out to dry which even he didn’t deserve.

     I am making fun of the “golden generation” but we did have some quite good players. Shearer, Lampard, Gerrard, Scholes and Ashley Cole in their prime would have made the German team and Little Mickey before his hamstrings gave out. We should have done better.

597. GS, I’ve thought about that one and I don’t really agree. If you go through the England squads down the years player by player, England have significantly underachieved and have been less than the sum of their parts.

     You have some other team who do better over a significant period and though they might have a few top players, then you look around the pitch and they have other players who even play for second division teams. Gutierrez has 22 caps for Argentina. The Netherlands side were in the wc final last time and are one of the most fancied teams here but they have players from clubs like Norwich and Swansea (Fer and De Guzman). Norwich are a Championship team now, and De Guzman was loaned to Swansea when his Villa real team got relegated in Spain. Helder Postiga is still a main man for Portugal and he didn’t even last a season in the Premier League. He scored 1 goal in 24 games for Tottenham and was shipped out sharpish.

598. Worky: you can see from my comment @596 that I am a bit conflicted about whether England underachieve or not. It seems that when the pressure is on that the players usually don’t perform, as personified by Rooney. There has also been some bad luck – “hand of god”, penalty shootouts.

     I don’t fully buy the argument that our players are not technically as good as others. This may be true in the lower leagues and lower half of the premiership but some of our elite players can’t be faulted on ability. I am talking about, Shearer, or Hoddle or Keegan.

     Now, as far as managers go Roy seemed to get the job by default. The Liverpool job was too big for him and he was expected to manage England where the spotlight is even greater during a major tournament. His body language has always betrayed his lack of full belief in his players and what he is doing. I am sorry, but his CV shows that he was very unlikely to succeed. In football management winners win, as shown by the likes of van Gaal etc.

599. Worky, “Memphis Depay” are you sure that’s not the name of the casino which will be erected when the land at the back of The Gallowgate is sold?

600. Another thing. I am not sure why your perceived best player should be captain. Gerrard and Rooney don’t seem particularly thick but my guess is that they probably have a couple of o levels between them. Having a bit of intelligence in your head as well as your feet may be useful for a leader on the pitch. At the elite level they all have the drive and motivation, otherwise they wouldn’t have got there. Maybe some brains would help.

601. Worky, I think a lot of the problem lies in the toughness of The Premiership and it’s duration.
     We could also look at the lack of a winter break in England as another factor.
     Although that has worked wonders for the Scots also!

     I think it comes back to The Lancaster Gate Mob and the inept way they have ran things for years.
     Can someone tell me how some knacker in Gregg Dyke that used to be head of the BBC now finds himself in one of Football’s top jobs?
     Is it a case of, “It’s not what you know, But who you know”?

602. GS says:
     June 21, 2014 at 4:26 pm

     “I don’t fully buy the argument that our players are not technically as good as others.”

     GS, did you ever really watch Paul Scholes? He was as good as anyone, anywhere. You also mentioned Glenn Hoddle. Which Pedro was better? Geordie Pedro or the other one? Gary Neville was a great right back and Ashley Cole was the same on the left. Even Chris Waddle was voted as Marseilles second greatest player ever after Papin and there just some random ones that came into my head first. It’s silly.

     Yes, we do usually get a bad decision in a key match but I said it before, that’s usually the point where it all comes flooding back, they start worrying about what the tabloids will say and they start to get all tense and nervous with the injustice of it all and it starts to follow the same pattern.

603. joe hawkins says:
     June 21, 2014 at 4:51 pm

     “Worky, I think a lot of the problem lies in the toughness of The Premiership and it’s duration.”

     They play the same amount of games. The big players who play with top teams play the most games of all. Spain won it last time and alot of their top players had played 40-50-60 games. The style is a different thing. I get what you’re saying about the Premier League being faster and more ‘robust.’ I wouldn’t just take it for granted though.

604. Worky: I don’t think Pardew would have played Waddle. He would have mistaken his hands on hips and that strange style of his of looking knackered all the time for not trying hard enough. I think that was part of the reason he was never given his due in terms of how good he was. I remember watching him for England and he could beat the best of defenders with ease.

     I could never understand why Beardsley wasn’t the first name on the England teamsheet. He made all of his team mates look better and worked his socks off. I saw him live in one of the late ’80s Liverpool teams and he was the best player on the pitch by a mile.

     I didn’t want to name too many NUFC players who were technically great because I might be accused of having black and white glasses on. Gazza.

605. Iran were robbed.

     No matter how good the Germans are, it’s just hard to get really excited about them somehow.

606. Danny Murphy’s trying to sound slightly more mature as a commentator, and his voice is like Ron Atkinson meets Tarby now. He he was going on about Muntari, a black player being “lazy” in the Ghana game. I thought he’d been inhabited by the ghost of Big Ron for a second and he was going to make a huge mistake, even though Big Ron isn’t dead.

607. Worky, We could go on all day listing excuses about why England cannot seem to do anything.
     Like you said Spain play any amount of games also and i think it showed on them in this Tournament.

     I was more trying to play “Devil’s Advocate” with my comments because i didn’t want to start writing too much.
     Those sort of things will no doubt be brought up again by everyone in the aftermath:

     Season too long.

     Lack of a winter break.

     We don’t play our style of football.

     We do play our style of football and it tires us out and plays into the oppositions hands.

     The Climate was never going to suit England.

     Too many foreigners in the English game to the detriment of our own players.

     The Lancaster Gate Mob.

     We coach the flair out of players.

     etc…

     I think England are one of life’s mysteries and i honestly couldn’t put my finger on why we are s**t!

     Danny Murphy will have a job for life with his generic a**ehole style and his ill fitting cardigans.
     You have to be that robotic brainwashing twat to fit in at the BBC so he will go far!

608. I see Gomis is going to Swansea. Are they the new Southampton who we cannot compete financially against? Two teams with little history out spending and out-academy-ing us.

     I suppose they both have large catchment areas but typically the people haven’t been that interested in local football.

     I know Southampton had a core of support but they have also been a production line for Arsenal and I would guess a lot of the locals supported the big London teams. At the risk of sounding like Chuck, they are attracting good progressive young managers whilst we are stuck with a dinosaur.

609. Swansea already have Bony and Michu, though a big club will come in for Bony at some stage and maybe still Michu if he comes back from his bad luck last season.

     Ronald Koeman is the manager of Southampton now and Pochettino’s gone to Spurs. Doesn’t it make you as sick as a Parrot?

     Southampton is about the same size as Newcastle population wise but without Gateshead which actually has almost the same population as Newcastle. I have a mate who’s a Southampton fan and they seem to have been specialists in flopping at the final hurdle until they won the won the FA cup in 1976. Even the times when they’ve been promoted have been five or six times as runners up and only once as champions. We were a bit like that in the late 90s of course.

     A bit like us in the Nineties really when we came second twice, then got into the cup final twice.

610. joe hawkins says:
     June 22, 2014 at 11:10 am

     “Worky, We could go on all day listing excuses about why England cannot seem to do anything.”

     I think we’ve been through most between us, but it’s just a question of whipping them up into some kind of equation.

611. I see old “Deputy Dawg” has dipped his toe into the England debate.
     He reckons he has had players come to him and ask him to tell England they are injured to get out of playing for them.
     I could imagine there might be few who do not want to be under the glare of the media and their expectations.

612. joe hawkins says:
     June 23, 2014 at 1:00 pm

     “I could imagine there might be few who do not want to be under the glare of the media and their expectations.”

     Well no one could accuse Harry of trying to hide from the glare of the media, unless it’s questions about his dog’s bank account.

613. I dont know where all these US soccer fans have come from. If you go to a bar in Chicago when any MLS game is on, it is not even on the TV never mind having people watch it. And yet Grant Park in Chicago had thousands of screaming fans. I think there are probably about 2,000 hard core Chicago Fire fans so the rest must be Patriots/Bandwagon jumpers.

     I think I might go down to Grant Park for the next game and ask a few of them to explain the offside rule.

614. I see that Pardew has been talking about getting players “over the line” again this weekend. Not a good omen.

615. I don’t get why some of the best goalscorers take corners – van Persie, Sanchez, even Messi. A corner is basically a pass and wouldn’t they be better off getting on the end of it, or a rebound to use a basketball term? Surely, some of the skillful midfielders could be taught to take a decent corner (not at NUFC, obviously) and free up the goalscorers to score goals.

     Worky, Memphis just scored and had a decent effort earlier.

616. Two substitute appearences, two goals and he’s only 20. Before this world cup, Depay was estimated to be worth around £4 million. He can play on both flanks.

     Whatever Carr thinks about France, the Netherlands is the place for look for players as far as I’m concerned, that’s why I watch the Eredivisie and bang on about Dutch players on here.

617. GS, re our earlier conversation about England. van Persie was suspended for the Netherlands today and it was a £5 million Norwich player and a £5 million PSV player who scored for the Netherlands.

618. Roy has got some balls. He is putting out his backup team tomorrow. If they play well or even win, he will be second guessed by every hack in the country. We might even see the return of root vegetables to the back pages.

619. Worky: you might be right, but I don’t see any disasters in the Frenchies we have signed except the disaster that Pardew misused them or didn’t play them.

     If you look at the record of most clubs, they sign some good players and some duds. The only total failure I can see is Obertan, and Pardew even played him ahead of ben Arfa. Amalfatano didn’t cost a lot.

     Cabaye, Remy, Sissoko, Ba, Debuchy were successes. I would say HBA is a qualified success and the jury is out on Marveaux, Haidara, Abeid (said to have had a good loan period) and M’Biwa.

620. GS, on Hodgson’s second team, I know I’m labouring the point from earlier but second string left back Luke Shaw has been linked with a £30 million move to Man U. He’s taking over from the £25 million+ rated Leighton Baines.

     One player Newcastle were vaguely linked with in the Chronic a while back was the Spanish Jonathan Soriano. I was stalking him but like Salah in Switzerland, I could only really watch him in European competition as he plays for Salzburg in the Austria.

621. FFS Newcastle should have bought Wilf Bony.

622. The funniest thing about Suarez is that I think that he is trying to say he didn’t bite, he fell into Chiellini teeth first. His immediate antics of checking his teeth afterwards were because he might have loosened them on his opponent’s shoulder in this terrible accident?

623. OJ Suarez.

     It’s like sending 21 players out, then releasing a dangerous pit bull that’s radged on to the pitch.

624. I wonder what will happen with Roland Rat now?
     He’s what the Yankee’s call a three time loser or three strikes and your out merchant.
     It will have to be a lengthy ban now which could ruin his career which is a shame because he is World Class and could get a game for any club in the World.

     Having a closer look at it today it does look like Chiellini puts the shoulder into his face for some mitigation but he has let himself down by losing his temper again.
     Some idiots are now saying he done it on purpose to get a move away from Liverpool.
     He basically just lost it and with geniuses like him they have flaws in their character.

625. Well now we know, Joe.

     The obvious solution is not to allow him to play in future unless he is wearing some kind of secure muzzle device, a bit like Petr Cech with his cycling helmet.

626. Worky, The Hannibal Lecter Mask seems to be the thing to use with him.
     He has got some gnashers on him and i wouldn’t like to take a bite from him.
     He could eat an apple through a letterbox could old Louis and he is the reincarnation of Shergar!

627. It is lucky that Southampton and England won the World Cup. or so it seems? I wonder what the US or Chile squad are worth now that they actually got through the group stage?

628. How many top players are Southampton going to lose before next season? They’ve lost Rickie Lambert and Luke Shaw already, and Pochettino’s gone to Spurs.

629. @628: they will still be better than us with worse players, because … they don’t have Pardew (I am sounding like AnyMac now).

     The World Cup has been great though – so I will forget about NUFC – but can we f@king sign somebody now? Pards will f@ck it up, but he normally takes about 6 months to do that.

     Our Frenchies look good with good management? :)

630. (Sissoko didn’t look that good :) )

631. The war on Wonga has now well and truly underway now the new regulatory regime has kicked in. They’ve had to pay back millions to customers, and there’s talk of them facing criminal charges for stuff like impersonating solicitors to intimidate people, and fraud for charging them £50 for calling in solicitors who didn’t exist but were made up using the names of employees in the Wonga office.

632. I had a Spanish friend of mine translate the Chilean national anthem:

     We live in a sh@hole but it has a nice coastline
     Our dictator’s wife has lots of shoes
     Please release our disappeared from prison, if they are still alive.
     Some of our players have neck tatoos and have never even been to prison
     It gets cold in the South of our Country
     God Bless Alexis Sanchez, bless Alexis Sanchez

633. I am having to watch the game with the sound turned down because Scouse McManamanan sounds like a gay Ken Dodd and the chinless wonder, Ian Darke, keeps coming up with arcane and archaic facts.

634. I have to admit that the American commentators get on my nerves less than the Brits that they have imported to commentate on most games. They do have funny names though – Taylor Twellman (Americans have a habit of naming people with last names as first names, or naming people after places like David Beckham did. I was surprised that one of his kids wasn’t named Beckham Beckham).

635. I have figured out why I HATE the duo of Ian Darke and “Macca”. Darke keeps coming out with factoids instead of telling who is passing to who(m) and Macca sounds like Cilla Black (not Ken Dodd’s gay brother) and seems to know about as much about football as Cilla.

636. Going into extra time, and I know I will regret saying this, but Howard Webb has done a great job.

637. My Spanish friend also translated the Uruguay National Anthem:

     “We live in a country of 3 and a half million people and apparently only 3 and a half dentists

     Yes, I mean Godin and Suarez when I say that. Da da da, dum de dum Uruguay.

     I am not sure if we have Llamas and why do they spell it with a double L – da da da, dum de dum Uruguay.

     Welcome home el Chompers, Gnashers, should-be-on-a-leash. It is the fault of the British press that you bit that guy and we will support you no matter what – da da da, dum de dum, Uruguay.”

638. That Gary Medel from relegated Cardiff City was been very good for Chile. They had a Nottingham Forest player as well. Could you imagine a Nottingham Forest player getting into the England team? Chile were so organised and symmetrical.

639. Worky: I almost mentioned Medel to you. We have Tiote though so we have other more glaring needs.

     Sorry about the National anthem thing. I just noticed that the crappier the country the more they sing the anthem with gusto. It would be like singing a Mackem song at the top of your voice.

     Not that I know anything about Chile or Uruguay, as such, just a bit about their politics.

640. I looked up Chile because all I really knew was Pinochet, the Andes and it has a long Pacific Coast. I think I might go there soon for a holiday. Llamas don’t bite or spit like camels do they?

     That James guy is good. How did our scouting team miss him?

641. Talking about Chile. I saw that 40,000 people a year are going to Antarctica to see penguins now. They terrorize the little things without knowing it and leave their rubbish behind. 40,000 extra fat Americans and Aussies would terrorize me never mind the penguins.

     I think I will pick up after myself when I go to Chile and wont pet the Llamas.

642. It is the law of unintended consequences, right. They make a movie about it, get Morgan Freeman involved, a big Hollywood blockbuster, then a cartoon. Then all the penguins die.

     They have no natural predators. Well, now they do. If it was me I would read up on it and not go so that they could be saved (safe).

643. How many Mackem songs do you know, GS?

644. @643: I think you can guess at that one, none. I was nine years old when I went to Sunderland for the one and only time, a pantomime at the Sunderland Empire. I never went to a game at Roker Park.

     They have songs? It is weird that I have so little interest in Sunderland that I don’t even know what songs they sing at the match.

     Hopefully they are better than some of the ones from your current place “my old man said follow the van, and don’t dilly dally on the way, off went me van with me home packed in it, I followed along with me old cock linnet”

     It is like they were really struggling to rhyme sometime wit “in it” and like a gift from the Gods came up with “linnet”.

645. Hey Worky: I am not ripping London by the way. I lived there for 3 years and really like the place and still have friends there.

646. I was thinking more about last name/first name:

     Neville Neville
     Roland (Tiny) Roland
     Could have been Becky Beckham?

     My brother told me he knew someone called Mike Hunt but I don’t believe him.

     I actually do know someone called Ivor Girdlestone. I am sure he was sick of people asking him if it was painful?

     I had this conversation with a guy in college and he swears he knew a Clint Clamp in Yorkshire. You cant beat Clint Clamp, we all just fell about laughing.

647. Imagine, you’re off to a retreat with David Brent and are asked to introduce yourself:

     “Hello, my name is Clint Clamp”

     End of story, right!

648. Aye GS, football songs, they sing about things like Niall Quinn’s ‘disco pants’, Geordie scum dying and stuff like that but I meant actual proper songs associated with Sunderland and Mackems. Newcastle has one about the Blaydon Races (though technically their intended destination is in Gateshead of course). Even little Durham City had one by Roger Whittaker which was famous worldwide, though he inaccurately refers to it as “Durham Town.” It’s not as if the Cathedral isn’t noticable there! The writer was too ashamed to mention the river Wear too, so Roger mentions watching the ships on the banks of the Tyne instead. Maybe “Dirty Old Town” was the one about Sunderland?

649. GS, It was the Philippines where the dictator’s wife had alot of shoes.

     If you meant James Rodriguez for Columbia, he is way out of Newcastle’s league. He’s was signed by Monaco for a fortune and gets compared with C.Ronaldo.

650. Worky: I knew it was Imelda Marcos, I just put it in the National Anthem for effect. There were times when we could go after a player like Rodriguez, Shearer for example.

     I admit I was dreaming thinking we could sign Rodriguez. But can we at least sign someone I have heard of and not some Championship striker? Even Ashley must realise we are doomed if we only have a kid and an out of form striker with a knacked knee?

651. GS, I don’t think anyone’s expecting us to buy £30-40 million players but players like the ones I’ve mentioned on here who were £10 million at the most. The better they are, the more likely Pardew will knack whatever they had anyway.

652. You know what really annoys me is that we never get stuff done in a timely manner. We know we need players, just bloody sign one or two and stop talking about getting them over the line. We know Pardew will be sacked, just sack him and get it over with so we have a possibility of getting someone decent to replace him. We have plenty of money, just f@cking spend some and don’t wait for the next transfer window.

     Chelsea and their Oligarch are not the most likable but at least he puts his money where his mouth is and doesn’t hire c0cksuckers for managers.

     I bet Ashley is waiting to sell before he buys – but we already did that, we sold Cabaye. What are we waiting for? Plus we got all of last years TV money and have spent none of it. What are we waiting for?

653. The world cup has p1ssed me off because it has been so fantastic. Great players giving it all they’ve got and then I get to thinking about NUFC. Can we suffer any more than the second half of last season? I am seriously thinking about not watching our games – anybody who picks Gosling over Ben Arfa has to have serious mental problems and doesn’t deserve our loyalty. And don’t get me started on Dumbett :)

654. Worky; I am watching a rerun of the Dutch game and Depay looks a cracking player – that’s one reason we won’t get him :) Although I do think we have some decent players, just mismanaged.

655. GS says:
     June 30, 2014 at 5:05 am

     “Can we suffer any more than the second half of last season?”

     What about the season before that one, GS?

     On Depay, as I’ve said before, you can’t seem to beat the Eredivisie for players. I’ve waffled on about players like Vertonghen, Bony and others but there are more than I have mentioned.

     You didn’t mention Ashley’s catchphrase that he won’t be “held to ransom.” That’s what he does to other people. He takes things right up to the deadline and waits for the other party to crack, but they stopped cracking and he was the one who cracked the season before last because Newcastle were going to get relegated by Pardew. Everything is just so ugly with Ashley.

656. Roger Whittaker did some canny tunes back in the day and his whistling was entertaining.
     I see the lad dog was off again yesterday with more of his patronizing tone towards Newcastle fans in his Independent column.
     He is not endearing himself or doing himself any favours with his stock being so low with the fans.
     He will have to get himself a crash helmet for standing on the touchline next season!

657. lad dog? lol

658. Worky: it is good to get a bargain but in the big picture is it worth holding out to save 2 million? The pool of free Agents isn’t that big and we end up missing out on good players because we mess teams around. I have lost count of how many other teams have complained about our insulting offers. Sooner or later they will walk away. We are not the only game in town and negotiating with a Chinese Sweat Shop. I think Ashley doesn’t see that sometimes because he has been so successful in his other business using these tactics.

659. If there is any good news to be had it is that the players we appear to be after are not being selected for their teams at the World Cup so they are not in the shop window. That’s a double edged sword though as they may not be playing because they are not good enough.

     I actually think we have done OK with our transfers, although as Worky says, it looks like we have been rumbled.

     What we have is a manager who tries to fit our players into his stupid system. If you watch the world cup you see Loew playing the Bayern system because it works for his players and you don’t see France lumping it up to a center forward let alone a useless one like Shola. I mean, good managers play to their strengths and aren’t dimwits forcing an unsuitable system. We buy all of these talented Frenchmen and Pardew doesn’t play them or plays them out of position.

660. It isn’t always about getting a bargain at the time but studying, looking ahead and having faith in one’s abilty in the market. Vertonghen and Bony went for about £9.5 and £10.5 million, not ridiculously cheap and no doubt Ashley would have baulked at those figures. I said we should have bid for them even if it got considerably higher in a bidding war against Spurs and Swansea, the clubs that got them. As I’ve gloated in the past though after gushing about them on here, Vertonghen’s value doubled in his first season and I think Bony’s pretty much did too, so even paying over the odds would have been a great deal in the fullness if time.

661. joe hawkins says:
     June 30, 2014 at 12:34 pm

     “Roger Whittaker did some canny tunes back in the day and his whistling was entertaining.”

     I don’t know, Joe. My dad used to play his whistling and I seem to recall that some of it could be very irritating and over the top when he started showing off with all his ‘twiddly bits.’ I think he got his whistling from being born in Kenya (don’t mention the Mau Mau!).

662. Worky, What was the one he used to whistle forever and a day on?
     Was it “The Sky Boat Song”?

     Did he not bring out a remake of that with Des O’connor? lol

663. Joe he whistled forever and a day on many songs. Here’s one of his hardcore whisting albums. There are videos of three of the whistling songs on the right hand side.

     http://www.discogs.com/Roger-Whittaker-Whistling-Roger-Whittaker/release/2140913

664. I have just been watching some of his whistling on Youtube although some will find it annoying i admire the skills.
     That release is all whistles and i wonder by the time he got up to “The Finnish Whistling” he took it the wrong way of what people really meant lol.

665. Rolf’s another one down now. Roger’s also one of the few entertainers left from the 70s you can still watch without thinking about Operation Yew Tree. Even John Peel dipped his toe in the water (so to speak).

666. Joe, here’s an ex triple world champion whistler.

     http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zO-aCQ6xH-8

     How does he measure up against Roger? Incidentally, my dad was the best player of spoons, castanets etc in the world. He went to the world championships once when they were in the North East. He used to call them his “knackers.” He didn’t enter but all the other contestants were completely amazed at what he could do. Here’s the world champion from Durham. My dad met him. My dad was far better though ;-)

667. The strange thing that is happening now is that the papers arn’t even bothering to link us with players any more. Last year one of the blogs ran a running tally of who we were linked with and there were loads (of course we only got one loan signing). Maybe they’re all watching the World Cup and they know Ashley well enough to say he will not stump up the cash for anyone successful there. I bet there are quite a few Agents and football directors at the World Cup. I wonder if NUFC have anyone there?

     Anyway, we are clearing out the fringe players and some others are up for sale so we must be getting somebody, yes? If we carry on like this we will not be able to put out a team if Pards keeps his strop on with ben Arfa and Marveaux.

668. I haven’t kept up with the ’70 entertainers scandals. Was Rod Hull investigated? Him and the Krankies always seemed strange to me.

     I’ve always wondered how some of the DJs ever got gigs. Mike Smith the wannabe, but blander, Noel Edmonds? I am sorry to say it but I was almost glad when he crashed his helicopter (except the Blue Peter chick was hurt). That Harry Enfield Smashey and Nicey skit is so true when you look at old you tube top of the pops.

669. Hello chaos. Hope you’re enjoying the weather and the World Cup.

     Just spotted this in newsnow.

     http://www.football-oranje.com/newcastle-united-to-sign-ajax-captain/

     Probably a load of bollox. Who knows. Who cares. Pards will probably play him in goal any way :)

670. ‘chaps’ – not ‘chaos’ :lol:

671. GS, the Krankies are swingers but no bairns were involved and Rod Hull’s still in the clear as I write too.

     Darth, good to see you back on here. Did that link say how much he was supposed to be. IF theres anything in it, they all seem to be Benny type attacking wingers / midfielders cum second strikers. That French lad we’ve bought is like a cheap Benny understudy and the other rumours in general. I think they’re trying to send him a message.

672. I would happily be proved wrong about my transfer cynicism. Pardew has just made too many stupid moves and said too many stupid things for me to give him the benefit of the doubt again.

     We should try for Klinsmann. If he can get the Yanks through the Belgians he will have worked miracles. None of the Yanks would get in the Belgians side.

673. THe de Jong transfer fits the bill though. According to the Northern Echo, Ajax are letting him go for a bargain price because his contract will be up soon.

674. Worky

     Newsnow’s full of Siem De Jong stories as of the last hour so there *might* be something in it – although the original source of the story is the Daily Mail, apparently, so it might still turn out to be a load of cobblers.

     £6M is the figure quoted in most of the articles. I really don’t know anything about him beyond a quick scan to see if we were in the market for another of Ashley’s punts. I’m gonna read up on him now.

675. He’s already completed a medical test, apparently.

     He’d fail an intelligence test, obviously :)

676. Well he’s alot better than Nigel de Jong and worth a fair bit more than £6 million now. He wasn’t quite at the top of any of my lists because they just seem to want to buy attacking midfielders all the time when there are loads just sitting around at SJP who have been driven insane by Pardew. I liked Memphis Depay at PSV but once again, he’s another winger / attacking midfielder. I’m also losing interest in Newcastle and blogging about them as well so I haven’t been doing as much Dutch scouting as I used to. I would still say it’s the place to go though. What about a striker though? Finbog the Iceman is still available and he certainly won’t have any problems with the Geordie weather being from Iceland. Where’s the defender who is good both on the floor and in the air?

677. Darth, He would definitely fail the intelligence test because he is already bigging up Pardew in an interview!

678. Photos from Russian dating sites:

     http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/completely-unexplainable-russian-dating-site-pictures

679. workyticket says:
     July 2, 2014 at 10:08 am

     “Well he’s a lot better than Nigel de Jong and worth a fair bit more than £6 million now.”

     Aye, on the face of things he looks like a good signing, worky. But there’s some way to go before we can say that we’ve seen proof that the junta is genuinely committed to building a team capable of doing more than bobbing around in mid-table. I’m sure you’d agree with that. We still don’t know who’s going (Debuchy looking like a dead cert now) and if anyone else of any worth is coming in.

     “I’m also losing interest in Newcastle and blogging about them as well so I haven’t been doing as much Dutch scouting as I used to.”

     I certainly understand that. I’m seriously losing interest now, unfortunately.

680. DarthBroon says:
     July 5, 2014 at 1:19 am

     “Aye, on the face of things he looks like a good signing, worky.”

     Well, aye, but he’s another attacking midfielder like the young lad they bought, like Benny, Gouffran, Marveaux, Gouffran, Sissoko etc. They have bought three midfielders so far and we now have 15 midfielders in a first team squad of 29. Where’s the full striker though? Or the defender with the attributes of both Coloccini (good on the floor and Williamson (good in the air) in the same person. Some time ago I recommended Vertonghen who is also a goalscorer but there are others.

     It looks like they are looking more at bargains and selling on than the needs of the team. However, ironically, they would have actually made even more by signing the right players at what seemed like full price fees at the time like the aforementioned Vertonghen, who is now worth £20 million, double what Spurs paid for him. Mapou Yanga Mbiwa is now worth £1 million less than Newcastle paid for him.

     De Jong is a good player and might indeed turn out to be a great signing. Then again, even good signings can have their games systematically destroyed by the silver radgie so we can only hope.

681. Bloody hell. Krul on for the penalty shootout for Netherlands in the quarters!

682. That’s that then. Krul will be on his way :)

     I’ve always thought penalty shoot-outs are very cruel. Great game from the second half onwards, I thought. Don’t know why BigEars and co thought it only took off in extra time.

683. DarthBroon says:
     July 5, 2014 at 11:51 pm

     “That’s that then. Krul will be on his way :)”

     That’s what I was thinking funnily enough, Darth.

684. workyticket says:
     July 5, 2014 at 12:34 pm

     “It looks like they are looking more at bargains and selling on than the needs of the team.”

     Very much so, worky. As ever, they’re not buying players to fill positions, they’re just looking for sprogs with a sell-on value.

     You wouldn’t even run a market stall that way.

685. Has Pardew started doing the usual routine with Krul yet after last night? Just saying out of nowhere “We’ll do everything we can to keep Tim at the club, but if a big offer came in that blew the bloody doors off there’s nothing Mike can do blah blah… then keep on saying it over and over again until someone puts a bid in. Then of course the bid is called derisory, the club will not be held to ransom etc. I’ve lost track now.

686. Anyone think a helicopter ride is on the cards?

687. That’s probably why Ashley is going back to his wife because the chopper is going to be up all the time!

688. joe hawkins says:
     July 6, 2014 at 10:24 pm

     “That’s probably why Ashley is going back to his wife because the chopper is going to be up all the time!”

     Joe, I do wish that people wouldn’t put those kinds of images into people’s minds on here. It’s totally wrong.

689. According to the ‘Physioroom’ NUFC injury widget at the side of this site, Curtis Good will be out with a Groin / Pelvis injury for 68 months, or over 5 1/2 years.

690. Point taken!

691. At this rate we may as well be Sunderland or West Brom. We are about as far away from the top six as they are and have a worse manager. What had set us apart before was the number and loyalty of our fans, but Ashley has set about destroying that by sticking with Pardew and remaking the club in his image. Even if the experiment of giving Pardew his type of players works, will we want to watch?

     BUT, there is a problem here. The premier league grafters that Pardew wants are still too expensive so we are looking to France again with a few Dutchies. And I don’t think we could ever fault Debuchy or Sissoko for commitment or effort.

     The TV money has levelled the playing field for all but the mega-rich clubs and we cannot separate ourselves from the pack whilst Ashley cooks the books on commercial revenue and continues his horse trading on the player side.

     He must be siphoning off money in terms of loan repayments or underpaying for the SD advertising. Or else, make NUFC as profitable as possible in order to sell it? It is the entertainment business so wouldn’t an enetrtaining side also be more profitable?

     I know the above was a bit rambling and maybe contradictory, but that sums up my thoughts about NUFC at the moment – I have no f@cking clue what direction we are going regarding personnel, but do know we are being run for profit only.

692. Following on from what I said @691, I read that there were no enquiries for HBA. The conclusion was that if we can’t sell him then Pardew would try to integrate him back into the first team. Doesn’t that just about sum up our current malaise? I know ben Arfa is difficult, but Pardew’s pIssing him around created most of the problem in the first place.

     He has a great game and is praised to the hilt. He has one bad game and Pardew drops him and then praises his attitude but keeps him on the bench. We then go on a relegation run and he is still on the bench. When HBA confronts Pardew he is sent to train with the reserves. I think I would have a bad attitude as well, especially as it was apparent that Pardew’s tactics and team selection weren’t working. Now HBA is a poisoned chalice?

693. I mean, HBA training with the reserves, Gosling in the first team :) especially when Sissoko was bought for attacking central midfield and not right wing!

694. Pardew the destroyer of players.

     “And I don’t think we could ever fault Debuchy or Sissoko for commitment or effort. ” I think we can fault Debuchy for usually being the person most likely to break someone’s legs and get sent off though, even when Tiote’s playing.

695. OK. If we were satisfied with the direction we were going in before Cabaye was sold, why don’t we do this:

     * replace Cabaye with Grenier or Cabela

     * buy Ba as a Remy replacement. About the same wages and Chelsea would probably let him go for what they paid.

     * find a replacement for Debuchy

     We are now back to about what we had before Christmas last year with no significant outlay and have added Seim de Jong. I know we have other holes to fill but the powers that be at NUFC said we were good until Cabaye left! Then they totally contradict themselves with an apparent complete overhaul of the team (assuming there are incoming as well as outgoing players).

696. Aye GS, maybe we could discuss several different directions as far as new recruits go, but even if we make decent signings we’re still left with Pardew to send them into a spiral of decline.

697. Worky, seems like HBA and Marveaux have gotten under Pardew’s skin since they are training with the reserves again. They could have done a Joey Barton and said he was a sh@t manager (not a bad assessment of Shearer/Dowie judging by their record).

     It seems that with a very thin squad that holding grudges is a sign of a petty and jealous man with a massively over-inflated ego.

698. Well Benny has had spells on the bench after falling out with other managers in the past but WTF has Marveaux done?

699. I know I have harped on about ben Arfa, but I’d pick him over Pardew any day even though I know he is a worky ticket. Many other players are the same way – Rooney, Terry, Ibra but other managers seem to find a way to work with them – giving them vast amounts of cash seems to help :)

700. Brazil look like a Pardew team – go down a goal early, then every attack the other team look like they will score. The back four look like they have never seen each other never mind played together, again, something we have seen from Pardew.

701. If Pardew was the Germany manager, he would have pulled back at 1-0 and tried to hold the lead.

702. The commentator over here just said that Mascherano has been immense and couldn’t even get in the side when he went to West Ham – I wonder if that had anything to do with Mr. Pardew?

     I think it is worth reminding ourselves that Pardew hardly played Mascherano and Tevez when he had them.

703. GS, Pardew played Tevez quite a bit, but as a winger in a 4-4-2 to make way for Marlon Harewood. Mascherano was behind Hayden Mullins in the West Ham pecking order though and spent alot of time on the bench.

     He’s been Argentina’s best player and the commentator over there isn’t the only one, they have been praising him over here too since one of ITV’s star pundits, Fabio Cannavaro, started gushing about him and calling him their key player apart from Messi every time Argentina played on ITV. The rest followed him.

704. Worky, Pardew only knows two formations 4-4-2 and 9-0-1. I wonder whatever happened to Tevez :) However, it seemed a bit stupid to leave him out of the World Cup what with Aguero’s recent injury history. Even if they manage to win, I still think it was a bad move.

     Remember when we were roughly on par with Spurs? They have sacked 3 managers who were all top six whilst we have retained Pardew. Funny old world.

705. GS says:
     July 10, 2014 at 9:48 pm

     “I wonder whatever happened to Tevez :) ”

     I know that Hayden Mullins plays for Notts County and Mascherano plays for a little team in Spain somewhere.

706. From Mascherano’s Wikipedia entry:

     “Before Mascherano joined, West Ham had won one game, drawn one and lost one. However upon his arrival the team went into free-fall, losing eight games and drawing one game in all competitions before their next win on 29 October. During this time, Mascherano rarely featured in the team, despite their struggles, prompting rumours about financial clauses related to the amount of time he was actually played. In October, the Argentina national coach, Alfio Basile, declared that he hoped Mascherano would leave West Ham “as soon as possible,” and “I hope for God’s sake that Mascherano can go to Juventus.”

707. Afternoon Chaps….so bored of this transfer window,none of the so called “targets” are floating my boat either and expect another shite season :)

708. Worky @706: the bit from your quote that was so familiar to NUFC fans is “the team went into free-fall, losing eight games and drawing one in all competitions”. The more things change the more they stay the same with Pardew.

709. Good afternoon SJT. Carr’s an old man in a rut who just goes round the same circuit over and over again because it’s his routine and you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. He’s not a leader or director of football or anything like that. If you watch the Eredivisie there are good and even great players of the future running around all over. I’ve folowed players in different countries too, though some are very difficult to see like Salah was in the Swiss league. Another one I’ve been following since he played against us for Brugge in the Europa League who was in the world cup with Colombia was Carlos ‘Chew’ Bacca. He was a striker going cheap and Sevilla signed him for €7 million euros. He was a bit down my pecking order behind goal machines like Wilf Bony but the lad’s done well in Spain and he was £6 million. Belgium is just next door to France.

710. GS says:
     July 11, 2014 at 3:39 pm

     “Worky @706: the bit from your quote that was so familiar to NUFC fans is “the team went into free-fall, losing eight games and drawing one in all competitions”. The more things change the more they stay the same with Pardew.”

     GS, you keep seeing the same motifs with Pardew wherever he is.

711. Aye Worky: it looks like we are at least buying quality if the Cabella transfer is to be believed. However, it is what Pardew does with them that counts. As Darthbroon said earlier about de Jong, Pardew might play him in goal. Or send him to train with the reserves.

     I think we actually played worst in the second half last year when Cardiff had fewer points but we had some real hammerings where we were lucky to get nil. BTW has Gary Medel been picked up by anybody yet?

     If Ashley actually does invest, and we still are shite, that has to be the end for Pardew (I won’t be holding my breath on either though)?

712. Cabella, another bloody midfielder, financed by the sale of another defender, Debuchy.

     Medel still plays for Cardiff.

     If Newcastle had only got the same amount of points in the first half of the season as they did in the second, they would have had 31 points at the end of the season and would have been relegated.

713. Worky: Pardew could be going for the 0-8-0 formation, with HBA and Marveaux left in the reserves. He’s going for the “give them a 3-0 headstart” like with Southampton.

714. I am really confused now. In any other business when a person bites another person in front of 60,000 people and TV cameras, they go to jail. They certainly don’t get a pay raise and a holiday. And when someone head-pushes someone and loses almost all their games, they keep their job? This is some topsy-turvy world I am living in.

715. F2ck: I am 50 years old and just figured out the throw the darts at the big cards game at the Toon Moor. They charge you a pound and if you win, you get a 10p goldfish and advertise the fact you “won” to everybody else at the Moor. If you miss, they get a pound.

716. GS says:
     July 12, 2014 at 3:03 pm

     “F2ck: I am 50 years old and just figured out the throw the darts at the big cards game at the Toon Moor.”

     Stuff like that paid for my education, GS.

717. Ahhh. And the throw the hoop over the square is almost impossible. But add in having to toss it higher to get over the jar of money and it is a 1 in a million chance.

     The funny thing was that everybody still thought they had a chance even though they had seen everybody else lose at it?

     Maybe I will start up something at Stare Fares over here – money for old rope.

718. What’s a “stare fare,” GS?

719. “When a person bites another in front of 60,000 people”
     GS, I think they call it WWF or WWE or what ever else it goes by these days.

     Hoppings, Fairs, Carnivals etc, Oh the joy at firing airguns at varnished targets or throwing wooden balls at nailed together tin cans.
     It’s basically an exercise in rolling drunks and kids for money.
     Which in a funny way is now practiced by “The Police Force” ahemmm (Statute Officers)who roll drunks for money every day of the week in all towns and cities across the country!

720. Is this it ?
     You and GS, what a sad state of affairs, what happened ?

721. Chuck: I thought you were banned. I see you are being as constructive as ever :)

     Worky, I meant state fair. They are strange affairs with an emphasis on massive calorie intake.

     Chuck does have a point Worky. You haven’t written an article since April. How about a “state of the Union” opinion of NUFC? We are seeing some player movement and it would be interesting to get your take on it, although I know the conclusion would probably be that nothing will change with Pardew and Ashley in charge.

     Oh, and I almost forgot, Chuck f#ck off.

722. It looks like Mr. Motivator needs some help because he has named a captain and two vice captains. Too many chiefs?

     Just admit that Coloccini shouldn’t be captain FFS. He has already sulked off to Argentina at least once. He did stand with Pardew against HBA, so maybe that is it.

723. Well, since Chuck decided to pay a visit I will comment on his 2nd favourite topic (after Kenya) – Martinez and Rodgers. We had Martinez as a pundit here for the World Cup and as always he was insightful and pleasant. If Chuck wasn’t up his ars* so much I could quite like the guy.

     As for Rodgers, he was a bit naive towards the end of last season.

     Now, they have both missed their best chances. Money will out and the Manchesters and Chelsea/Arsenal will finish above scouse red and blue. Neither Rodgers nor Martinez can compete with the Oligarchs, Sheikhs and the Manchester Marketing Machine no matter how much Chucky jizzes on their managers.

     With Wenger, Van Gaal, Mourinho and Pellegrini to compete against, I think Chuck’s unproven chosen ones don’t stand much chance.

724. GS says:
     July 13, 2014 at 5:54 pm

     “Well, since Chuck decided to pay a visit…”

     He’s posted on Toonsy’s blog as well, GS.

     An attack on worky, basically. Surprise surprise :LOL:

725. Chuck’s left a few comments on here. That is one one that got through which I couldn’t be bothered to delete at the time. He does like to repeat himself somewhat, here are the last two:

     Chuck
     Submitted on 2014/06/29 at 11:10 am

     “A sad state of affairs, just you and GS left eh!
     “Time to fold up your tent and go ,as obviously it’s over, ah well!”

     Chuck
     Submitted on 2014/06/19 at 12:30 pm

     “Is this.what it has come too, three grown men boring the shit out of each other ?
     “The writing is on the wall, time to call it a day, shut It down now.”

     He wrote another long one before which was something about film director Oliver Stone saying that Ukranians were all nazis or something like that.

     Darth, I haven’t read Simon’s blog for years. What did Chuckles say on there?

726. Worky

     Much as you’d expect, really.

     “However Worky’s .org is now down to himself and one contributor who bore the shit out of each other, having nothing better to do sad really.
     ,”

727. Darth, if I had nothing better to do, I’d probably still be writing blogs on here.

728. It still amazes me that Chuck thought his repetitious drivel about mostly arcane subjects was interesting. Anyway, I am glad you have banned him Worky because he is a cantankerous old sod who only ever saw the negative side of everything (except Brendan, of course).

     Worky, you should do a few short blogs. Maybe explain to me why in the hell we chose New Zealand?

729. Here’s a Pardew quote from Football365:

     “I’d like to pay tribute to my staff… Graham, MYSELF, Lee and Mike… who really worked hard for this one because he is a player we think is important”

     As F365 said, Pardew thanked HIMSELF for the Cabella transfer, you know, just in case we thought he wasn’t involved in any of the transfers.

     I actually think he has very little say except when he banishes international players to train with the U21s.

     Maybe, Pards will make Cabella another vice captain?

730. You get complete egomaniacs talking about themselves in the third person sometimes, but even they don’t usually go as far as thanking themselves.

731. One of the things that football managers say all of the time is they would like “A Remy Cabella” or “A Hatem ben Arfa” over the line. They can literally get THE Remy Cabella. How many Remy Cabella’s are out there that they considered?

732. A final word on our NYC friend, even with the paucity of comments on this extra long thread it is usually more interesting than the kids on Ed’s or especially the idiot Troy ruining Toonsy’s board. Good luck over there Chuck as I have seen many nasty comments aimed in your direction when you display the usual Chuckness.

733. Maybe not the final word :) it is a weird situation when someone can criticize people for posting a couple of short comments daily on a message board where they share a common interest and mostly respect the others’ opinions. Then they write a 2 page diatribe on Brendan or the Mau Mau. Worky, it is like the people referring to themselves in the third person, there is just no self-awareness sometimes.

     I know why I come on here – because I am in Chicago and there are not many NUFC fans that I can talk to here. Mostly Arsenal and Man U and their patter gets old.

     There are also a few scathing comebacks from Darth that make me laugh and if the old man had a brain in his head he would run away very fast. But he doesn’t understand humour.

     Oh God, the best World cup ever must have been a nightmare for the people where he has an Amstel. Unwarranted caustic comments every day for a month?

734. I had a client once who was senile. He could remember vivid details about something that happened 50 years ago but would ask me 2 or 3 times where to sign a document after he had already signed it, and would repeat himself endlessly. That is one reason I can spot that sort of thing. I had a lot of compassion and patience for him because he was a nice guy. Some others with that affliction I don’t care for at all, because they just repeat the same nastiness over and over again. I would be surprised if they have their front teeth.

735. workyticket says:
     July 14, 2014 at 9:04 pm

     “You get complete egomaniacs talking about themselves in the third person sometimes, but even they don’t usually go as far as thanking themselves.”

     Actually, I once inadvertently thanked myself in an email after I cut-and-pasted the names of colleagues involved in a successful project from a group list – which I happened to be on, of course.

     At least Pards didn’t thank himself by name :D

736. GS says:
     July 14, 2014 at 9:39 pm

     “Good luck over there Chuck as I have seen many nasty comments aimed in your direction when you display the usual Chuckness.”

     Aye, he got the bum’s rush last time he posted over there, GS. He hadn’t even gotten round to the usual bile – his reputation preceded him, to say the least.

737. Some of the e.mails I received about Chuck in the past from the people who are now on Simon’s site weren’t very nice.

738. Well, we do have addition by subtraction (Shola and Gosling). Also, I am hoping that de Jong and Cabella will make a difference and that Sissoko can push on. Not giving Pardew the option of playing Shola and Gosling has to be beneficial. Even Ian Darke in the commentary of the World Cup final over here managed to mention Haydon Mullens being picked ahead of Mascherano at West Ham. Unfortunately he didn’t mention that it was Pards that did the picking.

     It is not all doom and gloom for the Toon. Santon is out though, and that means Ryan Taylor or Dummett :) Also, anybody who watched NUFC last year knows we need a centre back. It was actually comical that Pards realised our centre backs would never score from a corner and were too slow to get back for the counter. He left one on the half way line rather than buy a better player or sack Carver and Stone.

     Still, Oldham and Wanga Wogga Billabong will be stern tests in preseason. It is not like we have to play the current champions first game, but rather can ease into the season. It worked last year. Oh.

739. I am not sure about Liverpool’s transfer strategy – if you buy all of Southampton’s players, don’t you become Southampton? Although Markovic is spectacular and I wish we had the money and balls to buy him.

740. It will be good that the lads will be able to see where The Hobbit was filmed. It will give them that feel good factor that was achieved by the England team being able to slum it and do selfies at the Favelas and have their pictures taken with Becks on the Copa Cabana beach.

     Sorry to be so cynical, I have a hangover from last years finish and don’t see a trip to New Zealand as a way of turning things around.

741. It’s commentary like the above that has this blog on it’s last legs and lost most of it’s contributors.
     One malicious jerk.
     One boring drunk, who just rambles on and repeats himself, something that he accuses me of having done, but is probably so gassed up, he doesn’t realise it.
     One guy who tends to tends to take a page to say what could be explained in one paragraph, but not maliciious in any way.
     Then there’s Mr know it all, who is the last word on everything, who has yet to admit he has ever been wrong
     That’s it !
     Does anyone believe this bunch can revive this blog, that’s all I’m saying.?
     Doubt it.

742. All good here Worky and hope you’re well Fella.
     :)

743. Now mates, here’s the schedule. 20 hour flight over here, meet Peter Jackson and Martin Freeman and do a bit of bungee jumping off one of our bridges. Before you get over your jet lag we have Wellington FC, and then next day it is Wonga Wogga Billabong. Don’t worry that they are only part timers and their main sport is Rugby. They won’t tackle you – well, hopefully. Then it’s a quick flight back to the UK and only another 3 days jet lag before Shalke.

744. @741: what are you reading for then? You seem to think that anybody who doesn’t bow down to the alter of chuck and says something back is your enemy. You may have hammered your bar mates into submission in NYC but I doubt you can do that on here. I assume that you are saying I am repetitive – normally only where you are concerned as it never seems to sink in. It is the senility Grandpa Simpson, I am sure of it.

745. And learn how to spell Rodgers. You have banged on about him so much and don’t even know his name.

746. I could do a take on the old WC Fields line and say to you Chuck: “I may be drunk, but I will be sober in the morning and you will still be senile”.

     Not that I am drunk. And I did substitute senile for ugly. That is only because I have never seen you but I have no doubt that you are ugly because it would match your personality.

747. I know it will take a miracle or the second coming of Brian Clough for us to break into the top six, but why do we have to suffer Pardew? I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt when he first arrived, but now I know him. Whatever players he is given he will revert to hoof and run, defend the lead, recklessly chase the game when we are only one down.

748. Worky: I’ll stop. You sent one of my comments to moderation when I was trying to get back to football.

749. Some things mellow with age – wine, cigars ex-Presidents. Why do crotchety old men just get more crotchety? When I think of my NYC friend I think of Cliven Bundy who complains about freedom and government oversight while living on government land for free and threatening people with guns. Cant see the forest for the trees which is what I think of my NYC friend.

     Joe, you have said you don’t mind the Guy in the past, but I am sure he had a go at you in his little rant above – true to form.

750. Cheers Worky: I really will get back to football now.

751. And @741: I will say that I enjoy almost all of the peoples comments on here. It could be that they are all like-minded, but often there is a bit of humour, a bit of talk about life or music. You know, the things normal people talk about/like.

752. I think that there is a certain shallowness and insecurity about someone who can be on a blog for years and then release their pent up thoughts. I have never hid my disdain for my NYC friend, but I am not sure why he bothered to have all of those long conversations with Worky when he didn’t respect what Worky said?

753. Carlos Tevez’s record with Alan Pardew: Played 13, Goals 0, Assists 0. When Curbishley took over he struggled with finding the right role for him too at first and he didn’t score any goals or assists in his first five games with him. However after those five games he figured it out and Tevez then scored 7 goals and made 5 assists in his last 10 league games at West Ham.

754. I really think the internet is running out of ideas. I just checked my e-mail and the articles on my ISP were: “inside Neil Patrick Hariss’s mansion” and “what you don’t know about water melons”. I should probably get a job.

755. @753: and almost single handedly kept West Ham up.

756. I notice that Chuck’s reappearence here has reignited your obsession with him, GS.

757. Not an obsession man, he just annoys me. In the sense that he thinks he has something interesting to say and will not listen to anyone else’s opinions.

     I tried to interject some football talk, but with the World Cup being over and me never having seen any of the players we have signed, it is hard.

     I just can’t leave it alone with him though because everything he says is so stupid and annoys me so much. I should get a job (as I said earlier).

758. GS says:
     July 15, 2014 at 3:28 pm

     “I really think the internet is running out of ideas. I just checked my e-mail and the articles on my ISP were: “inside Neil Patrick Hariss’s mansion” and “what you don’t know about water melons”. I should probably get a job.”

     Any old “lifestyle” drivel you can serve adverts on. The kind of person who actually reads lifestyle shit like that is the good person to advertise to. They’re aspirational, they’re looking for on off the shelf lifestyle because their souls have all been succesfully sucked out by the man and they can’t think for themselves anymore.

759. So, there were 7 or 8 earthquakes last weekend in Oklahoma. 4 years ago there were 3 in the whole year. Nothing to do with Fracking and pumping chemicals into the water table. Maybe the oil companies in the UK will take note after greasing Cameron’s sweaty balls.

     And, a Republican politician actually suggested Three Mile Island as a reason to expand nuclear power over here. Really, he did.

760. @759: I think the politician said that Three Mile Island had an exemplary safety record for the last 20 years. That’s like saying Hitler didn’t start any wars for the first 20 years of his life.

761. I just looked up Three Mile Island on wikipedia and it said it was a 5 on a scale of 7 for total nuclear f@cked up. That means it was almost a Chernobyl in Pennsylvania.

     Yeah, fracking :) that won’t cause any trouble. I will pray for the revelation.

762. GS, Nuclear power is a bit like flying, it’s very dangerous if things do go wrong, but it hardly ever does and flying is actually the safest way to travel. There have only ever been two real major nuclear power station catastrophes with high fatalities, and the last one in Japan was built on a fault where earthquakes and tsunamis happen. You don’t need a masters degree in nuclear stuff or earthquake stuff to know why Japan have more nuclear accidents than anyone else.

763. Worky: we have seen what can happen in a nuclear catastrophe , Chernobyl is still a wasteland and yet they build plants in Pennsylvania and near Manchester.

     What it tells us is that Governments are totally irresponsible BECAUSE they build nuclear power plants on fault lines. The plane analogy is not correct.

     And, is Michael Gove the ugliest man on the planet? He makes Ian Darke look like he has a chin.

764. See, I changed the subject :)

     But is this new Dutchy any good? You watch that league.

     I watch the French League a bit here but they really only show PSG so I didn’t get to see our new player much.

765. And then… Rudolph Guliani is hawking home safety equipment over here based upon his record of protecting NYC. I am surprised he isn’t hawking a nuclear plant on the site of the World Trade Center.

     So, on his watch there was the worst terrorist attack ever over here, and he is hawking stuff to keep you safe. Next he will be hawking gas masks after half the clean up people died.

     I think the word incredulity was invented to describe Guliani.

766. Hmm, well he’s a right back from Rotterdam. I’ve seen him and he looked pretty good but I didn’t really follow him closely and I’m not a huge expert to be honest. Van Gaal seems to have faith in him and has brought him into the Dutch side, though he was just in the squad for the WC.

767. Actually I was wrong before. There’s only ever been one nuclear power accident with major fatalities, Chernobyl.

768. @767: that is luck and they don’t count cancer?

769. I think this pretty much explains the disgusting puff piece the Current Bun did on Ashley the other week.

     http://www.pressgazette.co.uk/sports-journalists-cry-foul-amid-suspicions-sun-has-become-newcastle-united-media-partner

770. @767: It is like saying there have been no fatalities from asbestos. Yes, right, the f@cking ceiling fell on a man installing it, but how many others died from breathing it?

771. Darth: you know Murdoch is a born again, US citizen now (for tax reasons?) His Fox News channel spout Southern USA religious and puritan shite and his The Sun newspapers show big titties on page 3. Can you even imagine The Sun being sold in Charleston or Jackson which is his Fox News base?

     So, Murdoch being full of contradictions is not a surprise to me.

772. And Darth: or Ashley.

773. The very concept of ‘media partner(ship)’ just reeks of Murdoch, GS – even if it was chubs’ idea.

     How can it be right to have an agreement with another organisation whereby objective reporting is suspended where that organisation is concerned (assuming there are conditions in the agreement concerning negative reporting)?

     Oldham pre-season friendly tonight. I might keep an eye on this rather than looking for a feed.

     http://www.pressgazette.co.uk/sports-journalists-cry-foul-amid-suspicions-sun-has-become-newcastle-united-media-partner

774. Ooh Missus. The Chronic are still calling SportsDirect.com Stadium – Boundary Park. They know what happens when they mess with the fat man? They can’t talk with Pardew anymore. Fukkit, that’s not a bad thing.

775. Rather – I might keep an eye on THIS rather than looking for a feed.

     http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/oldham-athletic-v-newcastle-united-7429530

776. You can’t really blame Lee Ryder though. He has a cushy job writing 1,000 words a day and doing bugger all else. To be sure, he has to suck Ashley’s dick again now that the paper is trying to make friends again but that has to better than his previous job – sucking Alan Oliver or John Gibson off?

777. Worky @766: he started the group games and came on as sub twice in the knockouts. I must admit I didn’t take much notice of him until I learned he might come to NUFC.

     that is probably a good thing though as he might not be as prone to errors as our other defenders? Or sendings off – yes, I am looking at you Mathieu.

778. GS says:
     July 15, 2014 at 6:23 pm

     “@767: that is luck and they don’t count cancer?”

     GS, only 50 or so people died directly because of Chernobyl. There have been estimates which vary hugely due to agendas. The WHO said 4,000, Greenpeace said it would be 200,000. It’s like the Iraq war when estmates of total death toll varied between 10,000s up to a million+. Actually, it is very interesting indeed what has happened to the old people who live at the edge of the exclusion zone. They’re old, they don’t care anymore and they were actually sneaking into the exclusion zone to hunt wild boar that was riddled with radiation and eating it and lots of other stuff from there that would send a geiger counter off the scale. The thing is that there is evidence that they have actually become resistant to it. I still think it is like flying. 3000 died on 9/11 and it was a big airline catastrophe, but flying is still the safest way to travel.

     Anyway, nuclear is the only hope we have. The world wont be saved by windmills and solar panels, we are f**ked without it and hundred of millions, even billions could die. I am pro nuclear for rich, very technologically advanced countries like the US, France, the UK, Germany etc at least. I would make an exception for alot of Japan, like Fukushima because of the natural factors at work there. I wouldn’t put any on the San Andreas fault in the US near major west coast population centres either.

779. Well, Siem De Jong’s got his first for us.

     Bashed a free kick into the wall but pounced on the rebound. Great start for him.

780. Worky: ask Madame Curie about that resistance to radiation. And it turned Peter Parker into f@cking spider man. That begat 4 terrible movies with ever more CGI and less plot. And one where a villain flew around on a surf board, like anybody would be scared of that.

     You know that Germany has totally disavowed nuclear power? And that Rupert Murdoch says windmills are a futile waste of time. Old Rupe is a good business man but I doubt he will save the world with his right wing pushery and page 3 tittery.

781. Worky: I respect your intellect, but in its present form, Nuclear energy is just too dangerous to be anywhere near large population centers like Pennsylvania, Frankfurt or Manchester. Spend another 3 trillion like that was spent on Iraq/Afganistan and put the power plants in the Gobi desert. It is like fracking, you don’t know the consequences until you drink the poisoned water.

782. And @778: it is also like the Iraq war, where Tony said it would cost a few bil and last a few weeks. The clean-up costs billions/trillions more than anyone calculated and seems to never end, and there are so many unintended consequences. Open a Pandora’s box of nuclear energy and see where that ends up? It might end up like the nuclear version of the middle east.

     If there is one thing likely to kill us all given our current technology it is nuclear energy, by mistake or a religious martyr.

783. Oldham 2 Toon 1

     And chants of “Premier League you’re having a laugh” from Oldham fans, according to Lee Ryder :)

784. And!!! we had a President recently who called it nucular. If they can’t say or spell it, do you trust them to use the power wisely? As the surfer said to Spider Man – with great power comes great energy efficiency that may one day allow pensioners to get rid of their gas bill.

785. Darth: it could be a Leyton Orient moment?

786. I am trying to get this blog to 800. You know, like when the idiots on Ed’s blog used to say “first” and “second”. They stopped that though :)

     (and I am not really trying to get this blog to 800, I was just thinking about how ed’s blog was for about 6 months)

787. Damn it. I misquoted the Marvel comics. With great power comes great responsibility – yes Tony and George, you too can learn from f@cking Super/Spider/Captain America/Iron/Aqua/Bat man comics.

     The movies all have the same plot – some nuclear event followed by super powers, lose super powers to villain, and worlds collide, and get super powers back and save the world.

     I am off to see the Apes movie – I hope it has a different plot.

788. Oh Sh!t. The plot of Planet of the Apes is a nuclear catastrophe caused the rise of the Apes. Looks like 2 hours and 10 minutes of CGI misery for me then :)

789. Lets

790. Get

791. This

792. Comments

793. Section

794. joker out of here?

795. To

796. An

797. Amazing

798. us losing to oldham?

799. Amount

800. Of

801. 800 comments!

802. Joe: The bairns should be able to beat Oldham. There is one common thread when we lose like tw@ts and that is Pardew. It doesn’t matter what players we have or whether me and Worky disagree on nuclear energy – Pardew is a loser.

803. I was also thinking again about Alan Oliver and John Gibson. Somebody is probably married to them and has to look at their wrinkles and strange hair doos every day.

     I would take a mask of Alan or John into North East schools to explain the effects of smoking on your skin.

     I smoked for a long time so I might be wrong. Them two probably visited Chernobyl.

804. Now I will be a bit more serious. You can’t let @ssholes like Chuck grind you down. He only has one speed, and that is backwards.

     I am cynical, sarcastic and stupid sometimes but I don’t really get nasty to anybody, except to Worky, or Joe once (which I regretted because I was wrong). So that’s two :)

     Anyway… New Zealand here we come. We will trounce that Sydney FC, and their sister team Bindy FC.

805. Well mates. Leave me daughter Bindy on the boat there and do a bit of doyving with Steeng Rays. Never going to catch up to me this catching snakes by the tail and wrestling crocodiles. Just leave me widow and Bindi with a croc farm after I suffer an on camera death from a sting ray barb to the heart.

     Goolagong-betcha-whatyeknow

806. Back from me walkabout (Stop it Graeme, you are confusing the 2 downunders, and there is also Tasmania). Dame Edna, Paul Hogan, Don Bradman, many sheepstealers… You will lose to the mighty NUFC.

807. GS says:
     July 15, 2014 at 11:31 pm

     “I would take a mask of Alan or John into North East schools to explain the effects of smoking on your skin.”

     Well it didn’t seem to have much of an effect on my skin and I’ve smoked just about everything which can be smoked. I think that Gibbo and Anal were always destined to look like scrotums whether they smoked or not.

808. I’ve just remembered something.

     Put Alan Oliver into Google, click on the larger image that comes up on the right side of the page, then read the text accompanying the image.

809. Worky: that Alan Oliver article you wrote shows that not much changes at SJP. The press picture is funny though. He dresses up in his best suit and tie for his photo and it still looks like he got them at the local second hand shop or from Tescos.

810. “We wuz triffic in the first half”. Sort of sums up last season and all of our second halfs in general. He was out-managed by a 3rd division manager who played a bunch of trialists and makes the excuse that we didn’t have our best players available. Get your excuses in early and often Alan. I am sick of this tosser.

811. Alot of people freeze their look from the time when they were in their prime. Gibbo’s still got those strange hair headphones from the early seventies.

     http://ichef.bbci.co.uk/images/ic/512xn/p0187x2g.jpg

     Anal’s the eighties with that slightly spiky look up top, a bit like Howard Jones and Limahl and Nick Beggs from ‘Kajagoogoo’. Here’s another pair of hair headphones on the famous left wing journalist, John Pilger.

     http://images.smh.com.au/2009/11/06/840818/pilger-420×0.jpg

     In the future, people who were in their prime now will probably still have those hairstyles that look like they have a rubbed a gob of sperm into the front of their hair and worked it into a stupid looking point.

812. GS says:
     July 16, 2014 at 3:02 pm

     “We wuz triffic in the first half”.

     He says that alot, so much that it’s become a catchphrase of his because he’s had so many games where he’s tried to defend a 0-0 lead and come a cropper in the second half.

813. Think of the children! They actually paid a professional photographer to take that awful picture of John Gibson, that’s the sad part – that’s him looking his best :)

     I remember going into Newcastle when I was 17 and people in the bars would have those strange black mesh tea-bag shirts on. Having them wear them today more than 30 years later would be funny. I would pay to see that fashion show.

814. I looked at Gibson’s picture again and had to put my hand up over the screen to blot it out. He is what photoshop was invented for. I don’t know if his teeth are nicotine stained but they certainly look it. And his wispy grey hair with nicotine highlights :)

815. There may be hope for us to finish mid-table after all. I just watched de Jong’s free kick and follow-up goal. Maybe, at last, we can have someone who can deliver a reasonable set piece. Come on, Dummett, that was a joke. Ryan Taylor? Not worth a place in the team except to take a free kick. Ben Arfa? watch out in the cheap seats (if you give him time to think he will flamboyantly hammer it into the stands, he is all instinct).

     Nevertheless, I am still wary that Pards will find a way to f#ck it all up.

816. And @814: I have nothing against smoking, My mother still smokes at 71 and I smoked for 20 years and have very little regret about it. Perhaps Alan Oliver’s teeth are naturally yellow?

817. And John Gibson’s teeth are naturally yellow as well?

818. GS says:
     July 16, 2014 at 6:05 pm

     “And @814: I have nothing against smoking,”

     It is very hard to be an anti-smoking nazi if you are a motorist puffing out toxic smoke into the environment and the lungs of others every day.

819. Two Newcastle United fans on their way to watch the NUFC New Zealand tour were killed when that plane was shot down over Ukraine.

820. First off I want to say superb blog! I had a quick question that I’d
     like to ask if you don’t mind. I was interested to know how you center yourself and clear your mind prior to writing.

     I have had a difficult time clearing my thoughts in getting my thoughts out there.
     I truly do enjoy writing but it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes are usually wasted simply just trying to figure out how to begin. Any suggestions or
     hints? Cheers!

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