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Archive for tag: Newcastle United’s Jose Enrique possible target for Liverpool.

No way Jose! Enrique procrastinates while Liverpool ponders

February 14th, 2011 | 64 Comments |

Jose Enrique, Newcastle United
No contract until we're safe
Newcastle United left back Enrique procrastinates on contract while Liverpool allegedly think about a summer bid.

A couple of things are annoying me at the moment. The first is a rat that’s moved in under the decking at the bottom of my garden, which has horrified my wife. It has apparently done this because my wife puts bird food out and nobody told the rat that there’s no such thing as a free lunch. I thought about giving the blunderbuss to my personal concierge and asking him to rid me of the rodent, but then I realised I don’t have a blunderbuss. Or a personal concierge.

We stopped with the bird food but that doesn’t seem to have encouraged the rat to move out. Presumably he’s found something else to eat.

So, I called the council and they will indeed remove said rat for a fee but this in itself is a problem. When they say ‘remove’, I think they really mean ‘kill’ because I can’t imagine the council runs a sideline in re-homing errant rats. Now I’ll admit I don’t like the way this rat sits on the decking in broad daylight and gives me an arrogant look, but I’m soft and one thing I can’t abide is cruelty to animals, so I don’t want it killed.

So there’s a stand off. My wife’s telling me to get rid of that rat, I’m reluctant to have it killed, the rat’s giving me funny looks and I’m being sorely tried by the whole situation. (more…)